Chapter 52 Toilet Paper
For Wu Cheng'en, a native of Sheyang Mountain, this month was probably the most bizarre month in his life. Although he went to Beijing to prepare for the exam, after being put through some trouble by this year's chief examiner, Minister Gu, Mr. Wu no longer dared to dream of passing the imperial examination. He just had to stay in Beijing to handle a few trivial matters entrusted by his clan, and to find a job to make a living.
This was also a common way out for candidates taking imperial examinations. The capital was well-informed and had abundant information, so preparation for the exams was much easier. Therefore, even if they were temporarily settled, they were often willing to stay in the capital for a few more years. On the one hand, they wanted to find out the court's political trends and wait for opportunities to engage in speculation; on the other hand, they wanted to build up their connections, build up their reputation, and preferably win the favor of some big shot. However, with so many scholars pouring into the capital, the small market was inevitably overwhelmed. Wu Cheng'en wandered around the city for several days but could not find a suitable job. It was not until the wealthy businessman came again and, for the sake of "Journey to the West", asked someone to recommend him to the Mansion of Duke Mu.
"The Duke Mu's Mansion has always been tolerant and there won't be any difficulties. Sir, don't worry too much." The rich businessman said, "But the Duke Mu's son is really a little... weird. Sir, you better be careful."
What kind of intersection could the son of a high-ranking nobleman have with a down-and-out scholar like him who relied on his relatives and friends? The Sheyang Mountain Man didn't take it seriously at all. But when he took the rich businessman's business card to the Duke's Mansion to test the water, it was actually the Duke's Mansion's steward who personally received him in, made him sit down, offered him tea, and greeted him warmly. Then the Prince of Duke Mu somehow came in from the back door, and was equally enthusiastic and earnest in greeting him. Not only did he care about his recent situation, he also specifically asked a few questions about "Journey to the West".
Wu Cheng’en:?
Well, he was touched that Prince Mu was so courteous to the wise and virtuous. But over the past month, everyone he met was concerned about his unfinished manuscript of Journey to the West?
Is this book so popular? Why doesn't he think so?
After paying homage to "Journey to the West", the prince personally called the housekeeper and found a leisurely but suitable job for Mr. Wu. Taking Wu Cheng'en's situation in the capital into consideration, every arrangement was very thoughtful. Wu Cheng'en expressed his gratitude repeatedly for such thoughtful and considerate treatment. For a moment, he even felt a deep sense of "a scholar will die for his friend" and his feelings were indescribable.
Seeing that the time had come, Mu Qi finally unfolded the map of Yan State that he had been planning for a long time:
"Mr. Wu, I happen to have an outline of a novel in my hand, and I would like to ask you to take a look at it and give me some advice. If there are any good points, I would like to ask you to take the trouble to polish it a little bit."
Wu Cheng'en was slightly stunned. To be honest, the words of unofficial history and novels are not accepted by knowledgeable people. After the founding of the People's Republic of China by Master Da'an, the market culture developed rapidly, vernacular novels emerged in large numbers and were very popular. However, literary forms such as popular novels were ultimately inferior and could not be accepted by the upper class. Only the down-and-out and bored scholars would occasionally put their pen to paper. Although his attainments in writing novels could probably be called the best in the world, as a juren from an orthodox family who aimed at a career in imperial examinations, Wu Cheng'en had never taken his craft seriously. He could never have imagined that the son of a duke would be obsessed with something so unpresentable!
Isn't it a bit strange to ask for something so crude and shallow so seriously?
However, workers are certainly not qualified to talk about their bosses. Wu Cheng'en could only take the outline obediently and try to deal with it with his emotional intelligence. No matter how inappropriate it is, try to endure it.
But the facts prove that human instinct is extremely difficult to suppress. He only read a few pages before his eyes widened in shock:
“This, this, this…”
Mu Qi was quite nervous. Although he had absorbed the characteristics of the current era and tried his best to adjust the language logic and the general framework, there are still huge differences in the habits of different eras. Could it be that he had tried every possible way to borrow from everywhere and still ended up with such a terrible article?
He quickly said, "Please give me some advice, sir. No matter how clumsy it is, I can revise it slowly."
Wu Cheng'en thought about this for a long time, and finally heaved a sigh of relief: "It's not that it's clumsy..."
——Of course, the prince’s writing style is quite poor, and his choice of words and sentences is very straightforward and vulgar, which cannot be concealed by any high emotional intelligence; not only that, after reading these pages in detail, Wu Chengen was also very keen to discover the fatal flaw behind the low-level and simple writing style - this thing is really too superficial!
As the saying goes, literature carries the message. Even works of the lowest class, such as novels and stories, which are not worthy of being presented to the public, often contain the author's painstaking efforts to "educate the world." For example, our dynasty's "Water Margin" advocates loyalty and righteousness, Wu Cheng'en's "Journey to the West" teaches the path to liberation through the elixir, and "Xing Ping Mei" instructs people to be lewd and steal. Even - even the "The Courtyard is Deep in Spring, and the Elder is Locked Up" that was popular in the capital a few days ago, has the intention of being close to gentlemen and away from villains (of course, not that kind of closeness).
In short, novels of this era are like essays with a given topic. No matter how free you are in the beginning, you must elevate the theme to provide the readers with high value in the end. Otherwise, wouldn't all the sagely principles that you have acquired after decades of study be wasted?
However, the outline handed over by the Prince of Mu was completely different from all the usual ones. Although it had a good structure and a complete story system, its theme and connotation were extremely shallow. There was no intention to educate people after publication. It was purely a pile of suspense and excitement, trying to please readers in all aspects without any blind spots, and using no bottom line.
——In a nutshell, it is nothing more than a counterfeit book with meaningless words, crude appearance and extremely low aesthetics. It is far from being comparable to "Journey to the West".
But despite its crude appearance and its low-level and straightforward tone, Wu Cheng'en still found it difficult to criticize this outline. Yes, this outline is basically just a bunch of crap literature that has no use other than being cool - but the thing is, it's really cool!
As one of the greatest novelists of his time, perhaps no one understands the creation of novels better than Wu Cheng'en, a man from Sheyang Mountain. It is precisely because of this that Wu Chengen deeply understood that creating suspense and hiding foreshadowing in novels, arousing readers' interest with the plot, and even setting up the right moments to provide abundant emotional value, also requires a lot of complex and sophisticated techniques, and its depth is probably no less than the so-called poem "Ziyun".
From the perspective of Sheyangshanren, the technique of setting up exciting points to ignite emotions in this outline is so sophisticated and brilliant that it is incredible. It can even make people ignore all the shortcomings of being shallow, vulgar and without connotation, and arouse an unparalleled desire to read - it can never educate people, but it can definitely make people unable to stop and be obsessed with it, and read it all the way through.
This thing may not have any literary value, but it certainly has enough emotional value!
It is precisely because of this that the people of Sheyang Mountain are unable to be bullied. Judging only from the ideas and writing style, the outline of The Prince is not much different from toilet paper; but if judging by the novel's techniques and plot settings, this "A Mortal's Journey to Immortality" is almost perfect and has reached an unimaginable height. To be honest, even Wu Chengen himself might not be able to use all the techniques to such a proficient level...
How could there be such a biased novel in the world? Isn’t this Lu Bu riding a dog?
This thing completely broke the normal standards for judging literary works, leaving Sheyangshan people dumbfounded and speechless. It took them a long time to squeeze out a sentence:
“…This story is sure to be very popular.”
With the superb level of stirring up emotions and setting up conflicts in the synopsis, it would not be difficult for the film to become a best-seller after it goes on the market. Wu Cheng'en has been honing his skills in vernacular novels for so long that he does have the ability to make this kind of judgment.
But because of this, the people of Sheyang Mountain unconsciously feel confused. In the general concept, education and writing are the foundation of literature, while excitement and suspense are just branches used to create beautiful embellishments. But why can such a work that ignores the essence and has lush branches and leaves but empty roots have such a strange charm?
Prince Mu said modestly, "Sir, you are too kind. I don't deserve it."
Wu Chengen took a deep breath and said, "...otherwise, I would never exaggerate on this matter. If the prince's outline can really be turned into a storybook, it will definitely be very popular, and the streets will be deserted. I'm afraid that everywhere with water will want to pass on this book... "The Story of a Mortal's Journey to Immortality"."
This is borrowed from the Northern Song Dynasty allusion that "everyone who drinks well water can sing Liu's poems". However, Liu Sanbian's poems are soft and charming, touching, and his literary achievements are unparalleled in his generation, so they are qualified to be sung by the masses; and the popularity of this novel is probably not related to the word literature...
Wu Cheng'en felt mixed emotions, as if the so-called "being praised by thousands of people" that he had always dreamed of in the past now seemed to have a subtle sense of pain as if it had been tarnished.
Of course, Mu Qi could not discern the deep state of mind, but he felt that Mr. Wu's tone was extremely sincere, and he couldn't help feeling happy and proud - of course, this pride did not only belong to him personally, but also to the golden routine that millions of people had developed hundreds of years later; literature is not a talent that can be copied, but the techniques and routines of arousing emotions in novels are mature experiences that can be studied, improved and learned.
Of course, a single online writer cannot be compared with the geniuses of ancient times, but the online literature industry is a huge market with a scale of tens of billions that has lasted for decades. In such a market, countless people rack their brains to compete with each other, and tens of millions of articles are screened one by one through the test of time. The ones that remain must be the most exciting, fiercest, and most exciting to read.
The free market is so great, the invisible hand is so great!
This is what we call "supernatural powers cannot defeat destiny", or "economic laws cannot be defeated by sticks". Of course, the market cannot compete with genius in the mysterious field of spiritual talent and values that cannot be quantified or imitated; but once certain data can be accurately replicated, the free market is probably the most powerful and terrifying magic in the world, which can easily produce effects that humans can only dream of.
...To be honest, this is just because Mu Qi is too poor, and he can only rack his brains to think of some fun tricks. If he could just spend the money to open a large AI model with hundreds of thousands of updates per minute, he would be able to crush the ancients and make them shout that they are invincible.
Of course, Mu Qi had no intention of imitating the later routines to steal Da'an's job. He wrote such a set of things for a very clear purpose:
"I really don't dare to accept your praise, sir." He smiled and said, "However, I really don't deserve the title of 'popular'. This book is not written to gain any fame. It is just a gift to you."
Wu Chengen was stunned for a moment: "Gift?"
Sheyang Shanshan was born in a humble family and was not very well-informed (Li Jurong obviously would not reveal such fatal news to his old friend), so he was quite alienated from the current political situation. But no matter how unfamiliar or alienated he was, he reacted quickly when he heard these two words, and his expression changed immediately.
"This is my idea. I will take all the responsibility. You don't have to worry." The prince persuaded him: "However, fame and fortune are the affairs of the emperor. As long as you do a good job of this task, I will naturally take care of it for you. I wonder if you can agree to this?"
·
It was not known whether he was grateful for the opportunity or the prince had given him too much, but after hesitating for a long time, Wu Cheng'en finally agreed to stay and revise this crude, shallow and laughable manuscript with Mr. Gui, helping the prince to polish the text and adjust the structure, so as to take the essence and discard the dross, and package this pile of toilet paper that was purely refreshing into exquisite and elegant toilet paper that was more in line with Da'an's reading habits.
"What's wrong with toilet paper? Toilet paper is the meaning of our book "A Mortal's Journey to Immortality"!" The prince was confident and patiently enlightened the two confused scholars: "Think about it, we want to use this book as a gift, but the nobleman we are giving the gift to has read all kinds of exquisite works in his life? In terms of rhetoric, poetry, and even Qingci, how can we compare with the great scholars in the court? The only solution now is to find another way and create a novel with no threshold at all, no need to use your brain, and you can even read it while going to the toilet!"
Wu Cheng’en: …………
Gui Zhenchuan: …………
To be honest, this is an insult to words and to literature. Although printing and papermaking technologies have developed rapidly, Da'an still retains a tradition of respecting paper, and literature still maintains a certain sacredness. Nowadays, it is inevitable that people will be offended to describe such a noble and precious thing as toilet paper.
But the same thing goes, the prince gave too much after all, and the Qingci of Feixuan Zhenjun and Wanshou Emperor seemed to be no better than toilet paper. So the two of them had no choice but to shut up and continue reviewing the almost nonsensical outline.
It should be said that the prince did implement his own views in depth in the outline. There are basically no twists and turns that require thinking in the outline of tens of thousands of words. Even if your cerebral cortex is as smooth as porcelain, you can easily understand the content, appreciate the excitement, and get a complete emotional experience. This is indeed a novel that is very suitable for reading while going to the toilet. It is smooth, enjoyable, and without any guilt. You can read seven or eight chapters in one breath with an empty mind, and it will not delay the work of your sphincter at all.
Therefore, Mr. Gui and Mr. Wu could only try their best to empty their minds and calm their minds, try their best to understand this strange book that completely transcended their thinking logic, and do their best to suppress their instinctive rejection and disgust. However, sometimes they just can't bear it anymore:
"May I ask, my lord?" Wu Cheng'en rubbed his forehead, "What does this 'dictate for eternity' mean?"
Mu Qi thought for a moment and said, "It means that the protagonist is very powerful."
Wu Cheng'en stared at the text for a long time and felt that he could understand every word, but putting them together really brought a great challenge to his comprehension. He could only ask again
"May I ask what this 'fight until the great way is wiped out' means?"
The prince said, "It probably means 'the protagonist is very powerful'."
Wu Cheng’en:?
Since it's just one sentence, why do you have to use so many nonsense words to describe it?
As if aware of this inexplicable confusion, the prince briefly explained: "Simply describing power does not give people a strong sense of immersion, and the stimulation is only temporary, lacking subsequent emotions. Therefore, if you want to write about the protagonist's power, you can't just write about his power directly. You have to make the reader have the illusion that 'I don't understand why, but I still feel it's so powerful'. This kind of emotion is lasting and profound..."
After that, he gave another example: "For example, didn't Mr. Wu use the same method to create the Monkey King Sun Wukong in Journey to the West? When passing by several eminent monks on the way to the west, Tang Monk and his disciples could not interpret the prophecies of the eminent monks, but the Monkey King understood them immediately and was able to discuss the mysteries with the eminent monks. How many people in the world can understand these mysteries? But it doesn't matter, as long as you know that 'although you don't understand, the Monkey King is indeed very powerful' is enough. Isn't this the same intention?"
Facing the slightly surprised look of his colleague Mr. Gui, Wu Chengen was stunned:
…So this was my intention. Why didn’t I think of it?
·
·
In general, after completely breaking their writing habits, the two gentlemen's work efficiency has indeed improved rapidly - unlike their usual articles where they carefully consider every word and sentence and compare them repeatedly, this kind of toilet paper literature that is purely for fun does not require any attention to writing style and conception, and can be completed in one go as long as they empty their brains. This is probably the fastest writing speed they have ever had in their lives. However, they all refused to sign their names on this manuscript, and very sincerely attributed all the credit to the prince, showing great grace.
The prince was very moved, but also a little embarrassed:
"After all, this is the collective wisdom of everyone. How can I monopolize the benefits?"
Wu Cheng'en and Gui Zhenchuan took a deep breath at the same time and hurriedly persuaded the prince to accept the honor he deserved; the implication of their words was very clear, that is, this "wonderful book" was absolutely the credit of the prince alone, and the two of them should not and dared not have anything to do with it at all, and it would be best to completely erase their names and origins, leaving not a single word behind.
Of course the prince doesn’t care, they still have to make a living in the literary world in the future!
The prince accepted the suggestion reluctantly but was unwilling to take all the credit for himself. After much deliberation, he decided to put a pen name "True Story Hidden" to indicate that this was a true story hidden and was purely a lie.
In addition, the prince also put forward a basic requirement: in addition to the unbridled pleasure, toilet paper literature aims to be large in quantity and without any delay, and what it pursues is the inability to stop after being addicted; if it is dragged on too long, readers will enter the sage time, and once they realize that what they are reading is a thing full of loopholes, it will be difficult to regain interest.
"…The emperor's birthday is on the tenth day of the first lunar month in three months. We need to finish writing the character biographies and produce a manuscript of at least 600,000 words during that time so that we can read it comfortably all at once." Mu Qi said solemnly, "I plan to divide this book into two parts, each with 600,000 words, and leave a sufficient hook in the upper part to fully brew the emotions."
Upon hearing this, Gui Zhenchuan, who had no experience, was fine, but Wu Chengen, who had actually written a novel, almost popped his eyes out:
Three months?
Six hundred thousand words?
He has only written less than 300,000 words of "Journey to the West" so far, but that has already consumed two or three years of his hard work!
After writing 600,000 words in three months, this thing has really become toilet paper!
Moreover, if he heard correctly, the book might be more than 1.2 million words. If I really had to write a long article like this, I would just have to speak up for the paper that printed this thing...
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