Chapter 6 Review
[Mu Xiaoqi: Are you there? 】
There was a beep and the other party replied quickly.
[The seal took my spear: Here I am.] Are you finally online? Sister Feifei hasn't opened the system these days and I don't know what she is busy with. 】
[Mu Xiaoqi: She is busy with the Northern Expedition. I heard that she has joined forces with Li Yanxian and others, and has taken over Shanzhou and is preparing to recapture Bianliang. This is a big deal, and I can't bother you anymore. I can only trouble you once. 】
[The seal took my spear: Is this about Qingci again?] I have no choice but to do it, brother, but your boss is pushing it too hard. 】
Yes, the deadline for Qingci is so tight, but I can’t hire a ghostwriter. Mu Qi had no choice but to cooperate with Lin Li and share what he had - although Prime Minister Ge was in charge of all matters in the court, it was still easy for the emperor to support two hangers-on. During the turbulent period of the Three Kingdoms, literary style was flourishing and the atmosphere of Taoism was particularly strong, so it was not surprising that some Qingci were written. Moreover, the writing is excellent and can withstand Lao Deng's criticism.
Mu Qi typed: [Yes, please finish it within three days, I need it urgently. I have also found the rice planting technique illustrations you requested last time, and will send them to you tomorrow. 】
The other party hesitated for a moment: [...Thank you. But I would like to ask one more question, are there any left of the chili peppers you sent last time? 】
The old Taoist priest's subordinates were unable to do anything. Mu Qi had been in this world for a few years, and apart from copying the "Great Code", he spent most of his time thinking about trivial matters. He asked overseas merchants to get the original seeds of peppers, and after careful breeding, he selected edible varieties. In addition to enjoying them himself, he also gave a lot to two of his good friends, earning a lot of face for his adoptive father.
[Are you eating too fast? 】Mu Qi typed: [I just gave you ten kilograms last week. 】
[The seal ate my spear: I didn’t eat it.] 】
[The seal eats my spear: You don’t have to choose the delicious variety, just pick the spiciest one. The ones with the spiciest ends are the best. 】
[Mu Xiaoqi: ...What? 】
[The seal took my spear: You know that the prime minister recently asked me to read memorials by myself and learn how to do things, right? I was in charge for a few days when someone couldn't resist taking advantage of the situation. There was a soldier named Li who served in the Prime Minister's Office. I don't know if his mother only nurtured the placenta and lost her brain when he gave birth to him, but he actually submitted a secret memorial to me, impeaching the Prime Minister's father for "abusing power and disrupting government affairs, and having ulterior motives", and asked me to take precautions early...]
Prime Minister Zhuge "abused power and disrupted government administration" and "had ulterior motives"? Mu Qi slowly opened his mouth, feeling that the head of this official named Li might be a little dangerous.
To be honest, he might as well impeach the emperor for being a fool who only wanted to eat and wait for death. Liu Li would probably be much more peaceful.
[Mu Xiaoqi: ...Fuck.] 】
[The seal took my spear: I wanted to summon him to the palace, reward him with 200 strokes of the cane, and then beat him to death. But Minister Dong dissuaded me, saying that the palace and the government are one and that private punishment should not be used. I also wanted to send an imperial physician to his house to give him two taels of croton oil mixed with crane's beak red to clear out all the dirty water in his stomach. But my father-in-law is in Chengdu now. If the situation gets out of hand, he will definitely stop it. He might even have to plead for this bitch and let her go. After much thought, the only solution I can find is from you.
Seventh Brother, you must help your brother with this. Please find me the hottest and most powerful stuff that can burn through the tongue and asshole. I will wrap it in a rice dumpling and let him eat it. I will make his intestinal mucosa damaged by the spiciness. Let's see if he still keeps saying that...]
Mu Qi thought for a moment and spoke decisively:
【Can. Last time I saw some sea merchants from Guangdong selling potted plants, and the plants grown in them should be the predecessor of the later devil pepper. They were said to be grown by Siamese people to defend against elephants, which shows how powerful they are. I'll definitely get it for you. 】
Are you slandering Prime Minister Ge? You're talking nonsense, right? His brother’s father-in-law is his father-in-law, and “scolding his father in front of his son is disrespectful”!
Lin Li was obviously happy that his good brother agreed so readily:
[Well, I will find a few more people to help you, Lao Qi, write the Qingci. I guarantee that Mr. Deng in your family will be satisfied. 】
·
My good brother kept his promise and sent the manuscript over on the afternoon of the third day. Mu Qi reviewed it and changed the wording so that it could meet the deadline for the emperor's duty.
He went to bed early that day and was woken up by the housekeeper at the third hour of the morning. He washed and changed his clothes in a daze, took some ginseng and then held a piece of chicken tongue incense in his mouth to refresh himself. After he was ready, he was helped onto the horse by his personal servant, and he walked slowly in the cold wind to Huixi Palace in the Western Garden where the old Taoist priest was temporarily staying.
The lights in Qingliang Palace were still bright as usual. The chief eunuch Li Zaifang personally came out of the palace, leading several officials from the Imperial Household Department to receive the sedan chairs of the ministers. Although the son of a noble family had an extraordinary status, he was just an ordinary person in a place like this. There were only a few young eunuchs to help him pull the horse and straighten his clothes, and also brought him hot towels to wipe his face and hands to warm his stiff muscles.
After finally getting everything ready, Mu Qi put on the purely decorative sword, followed the end of the team, and walked silently into the main hall of Huixi Palace. But as soon as he stepped into the palace gate, he felt refreshed, as if a warm spring breeze blew towards him; then he looked more closely, and found that Huixi Palace was surrounded by screens and brocade curtains, which blocked out the cold air outside the door; there were also seven or eight gilded bronze basins displayed in the corners of the palace, with white vapor floating above them, as if they were filled with boiling water for warmth. No wonder it was so warm like spring.
This is really strange. It was not known whether it was due to his successful cultivation or the drugs he took that turned him into a biochemical demon, but the old Taoist meditated for a long time and gradually cultivated a body that was immune to cold and heat. Even when the temperature in the imperial capital was only two or three degrees in the early morning, he could still wear a thin Taoist robe and walk freely in the cold wind, feeling contented. The palace where he summoned people to discuss government affairs never needed any charcoal fire to warm the basin, which was truly admirable.
But the cold in the north is still too harsh; even a hot-tempered young man from an aristocratic family like Mu Qi may not be able to withstand the cold wind, let alone a senior minister in his sixties or seventies? Even though his court robes were thickly padded with fox fur and sable fur, he could not help shivering while sitting in meditation when the weather turned cold, and his upper and lower teeth would chatter like a quick-talking clapper.
In the past, when Mu Qi was guarding the palace with everyone else, he sometimes couldn't help but make malicious speculations, thinking that Master Feixuan had deliberately arranged this kind of furnishings. Could it be a tactic for the old man to use cold air to induce colds, body heat, and respiratory diseases? It was indeed very effective for the old cabinet ministers who were in their sixties. This way, there will be successors and the survival of the fittest, and it will also prevent ministers with rich experience from staying in power for too long and making the emperor uneasy.
With such an unbreakable precedent, the addition of brocade curtains and warm basins in the palace was particularly surprising. Xia Yan, the elder who entered first, stopped and looked back at Li Zaifang:
"Eunuch Li."
Li Zaifang bowed his head respectfully and said in a gentle tone: "It was His Majesty's oral order, saying that the ministers are old and it is unbearable for them to brave the cold wind to serve. From now on, the palace will be arranged like this, and the ministers don't need to thank you."
Despite this, several people still bowed to the screen in the main hall and then sat down carefully. As soon as I sat down, my back immediately reacted. It turned out that the chair with a wolfskin mattress was hot and warm, and it was obvious that it had been heated in advance with a hot water bottle.
It was fine for Lord Yan, but Xia Yan, Xu Shaohu and others felt a soothing sensation in their stomachs, and they instantly felt a lot more at ease - after taking the medicine a few days ago, their stomachs immediately rebelled, and they had diarrhea intermittently for two or three days. As the saying goes, even a brave man cannot withstand three diarrheas. Even after taking ginseng and angelica to replenish qi, I still felt the biting cold when I went to court in the early morning, and my stomach and intestines kept twitching. Now that there was something to warm their weather-beaten buttocks, they felt greatly relieved.
Xia and Xu, who had suffered the same ordeal, looked at each other and understood in their hearts that this was a special consolation given by the emperor as he was satisfied with their attitude towards taking the elixir.
Gaining face in front of the emperor is certainly a good thing, but if this happens, I'm afraid the elixirs bestowed by the emperor will no longer be discontinued. When they thought of this, the elders felt a dull pain in their intestines again.
After waiting for a while, a bronze bell finally sounded outside the screen in the main hall. The seated grand secretaries all stood up, lifted their skirts and bowed; the noble sons who were guarding the palace stood in front of the door, also held their swords in their hands and bowed in salute. Mu Qi, like a dozen of his colleagues, bent down deeply and glanced behind the screen. Sure enough, he saw a man in a green Taoist robe being surrounded by eunuchs. There was no brocade curtain outside the screen, and when she moved, the cold wind blew, causing her light robe to flutter and make her look elegant and otherworldly.
Feixuan Zhenjun and Qingmiao Emperor have been practicing for a long time. They wear Taoist robes and loosen their belts. They travel in a light carriage with a small entourage. Their actions always imitate the free and easy demeanor of the ancient sages. However, we have to admit that no matter how weird and infantile the emperor is, he is indeed qualified to show this face - when the current emperor was young, he had a "dragon appearance and phoenix appearance", and was an absolute handsome man; when he was old, he was elegant and dignified, and he was also an absolute old handsome man. Such an old handsome man, wearing a wide robe with big sleeves and floating in the air, has the graceful and elegant demeanor of a god, and can hold up the style of simple clothes. Even though Mu Qi held a grudge against heavy metal and working night shifts, and always felt that this dressing style was like that of a big moth, it could not slander His Majesty's appearance.
To put it in an exaggerated way, it is like stripping off the old Taoist's imperial attire and putting him in modern times; he can still make a living by relying on his old face, at least not much worse than a scholar.
The bronze chimes rang several times again, and amid the lingering echo, a large green moth floated in front of the hall. Everyone immediately bowed down and shouted "Long live the emperor".
Emperor Feixuan had a smile on his face, but his eyes were extremely sharp as he scanned the people who fell down one by one. But after looking around carefully, I couldn't see anything unusual. He remained calm, raised his hand and ordered someone to help the elder up, then walked to the throne and sat down cross-legged.
Seeing the ministers standing in line to express their gratitude, the emperor straightened his sleeves and quietly held the small booklet hidden in his sleeves.
"I heard that several of you were feeling unwell, but I didn't expect you to be here today."
Prime Minister Xia Yan crossed his hands and replied, "Your Majesty is concerned about you, and we are grateful. However, I am just a little unwell, how dare I miss the important matters of the court?"
The emperor nodded and smiled, and the eunuch beside him immediately knelt forward and handed over a stack of green ivy paper framed with gold foil. Mu Qi caught a glimpse from afar and couldn't help but sneer inwardly: What "big thing"? In the hands of the old Taoist priest, all current national affairs have to make room for Qingci first.
However, the emperor would always spend a quarter of an hour or two reading the Qingci, which was just the right time for him to slack off. Mu Qi lowered his eyes and casually opened the system's heart sound input column, intending to relieve his boredom by complaining.
Master Fei Xuan shook out his sleeves and was about to take the Qingci to read it carefully. Unexpectedly, the book in my sleeve suddenly felt hot, and a faint, dull voice with an indistinguishable timbre rang in my ears:
[Lao Deng is writing Qingci again.] Tianting woke up and fell to second place on the list, right? 】
Master Feixuan's fingers trembled, and he almost knocked Qingci to the ground. His right hand froze in mid-air, and his heart was filled with turbulent waves:
Here we come!
The person who wrote this strange book was indeed among the dozens of people in the hall!
In an instant, no matter how well the True Lord had cultivated, his face turned blue, orange, red, and green, with all sorts of unpredictable expressions that were truly indescribable. The people sitting quietly in the hall immediately sensed that something was not right. They stole a glance at the emperor's strange expression and were immediately horrified.
Why do you get so angry when reading a Qingci?
The booklet was very appropriate, and immediately another ding-dong sounded, reminding me:
[Why does Lao Deng have such a strange expression? Could it be that someone had slipped a public security petition into the Qingci? What a talent! 】
The emperor almost stopped breathing: public security is lax? What the hell is public security? !
Well, he didn’t know about the Memorial on Public Security, but he knew about Jia Yi’s “Strategies for Public Security”, in which there is a famous saying: “The state of affairs in the world is one thing that makes one cry bitterly, two things that make one shed tears, and six things that make one sigh deeply.” This description of the state of affairs in the world is enough to make people cry bitterly, and it was a terrible insult to the Han Dynasty. Judging from this example, if someone really wanted to imitate "Security Essay", it would definitely not be to praise the great virtue of Master Feixuan!
He gritted his teeth for a moment, still suppressing the turmoil in his heart, and glanced around the hall again. Unfortunately, everyone in the palace lowered their heads, lowered their brows and looked submissive, and there was still no sign of any "fallen immortal" or "demon".
The liberation of soldiers is a major matter for the immortals, so it is understandable that it is kept secret and difficult to investigate. But Master Feixuan was disturbed by this and no longer had any interest in commenting on Qingci. He reached out and flipped through it again, but only glanced at the catalog compiled by the eunuchs. After taking a quick look, he couldn't help but raise his eyelids:
"Why is Elder Yan's paper placed last today?"
Upon hearing this, the eyebrows of the two ministers Xia and Xu twitched immediately. The officialdom has its own order. The Silijian collected Qingci and arranged them in strict order according to the time when they entered the cabinet, without any mistakes or omissions. In other words, if there is a mistake, someone must have put a lot of thought into it.
——Yan Fenyi is going to cause trouble again!
Elder Yan immediately stood up, looking a little panicked:
"I came a little late today and was late in submitting my papers. Please forgive me, Your Majesty."
The emperor blinked, and his gloomy mood eased a little. Having been in charge of government for so many years, he certainly knew Yan Fenyi's little tricks. But just as the diary pointed out, His Majesty the Emperor who grew up surrounded by stars is an absolute aging giant baby. He still enjoys being flattered with all kinds of effort. Even if some means are used below, it can be tolerated.
For example, he was very clear that this Qingci was most likely written jointly by Yan Fenyi and his son Yan Donglou. But it doesn’t matter. Since Yan Donglou has some talent in writing Qingci, why should he expose it?
The emperor smiled and signaled the eunuch to turn to the last page. As expected, it caught his attention immediately:
"The Queen of Light controls the sky, with a majestic dome and bright lights shining down; yellow buds, dragons and tigers hang down, with bright lights shining brightly and colorfully..."
It's "yellow buds" and "dragon and tiger", isn't this clearly praising the process of alchemy? The emperor recited it aloud unconsciously with a smile on his face.
But just as he finished reading, the booklet made another beeping sound:
[“Holding the virgin to shine, she suddenly leaves the fire and becomes brilliant”, this is a famous Qingci written by Yan Donglou... If we evaluate Qingci in this dynasty, this one will definitely be among the top three. What a pity. 】
[However, I heard that the famous quotes involving "baby", "virgin", "red dragon" and the like were all inspired by what Yan Donglou found in a brothel. Even the article was written in the brothel with the brothel madam's eyebrow pencil... I don't know if this is true? 】
The emperor was about to praise Yan Fenyi:? ! ! !
[To be honest, this sounds a bit like a pornographic rumor.] But Yan Donglou’s private life was even more outrageous than Huang Yao’s, and it was really hard to tell whether it was true or not… However, according to historical records, after he had been hanging around in brothels for several years, he “suddenly contracted a serious disease” and his skin became as rotten as leprosy, making him unable to see anyone. This typical symptom of syphilis will definitely not deceive anyone...】
True Lord Feixuan and Emperor Qingmiao only felt a chill on their backs. Even though they claimed to be immune to all poisons, they silently took a step back, away from the green poem written by Yan Donglou himself.
Elder Yan, who was standing with his head bowed, eagerly waiting for praise, blinked blankly:
Your Majesty, are you serious about taking a half step back?
The True Lord was silent for a moment, then waved his hand:
"They are all good. Send them to be incinerated. State affairs are urgent. I will not look at them any further."
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