Many times, Shen Suqing felt that he was a despicable and selfish hypocrite.
I hope Ah Zhi is strong enough, but I also secretly hope that she can occasionally seek his help when she encounters problems she can't solve.
I hope she will always be cheerful and lively, but I also don't want others to get too close to her because of her radiance.
Part of his reason told him that things were fine as they were, and he could comfort himself by saying, "A gentleman judges by actions, not intentions."
She could protect herself, she could please everyone, and she was happiest surrounded by everyone's love. But at the same time, he was unwilling to accept that he only occupied a small part of her happiness.
In the end, all of these turned into inexplicable sourness.
He found it very sour, so sour that he could hardly bear it.
Even so, he still tried his best to maintain a calm and composed demeanor, pretending to be indifferent and laughing it off in most matters, so that she would never be wary of him, and so that she would always feel that "Master Shen" was the gentlest and safest person in the world.
But even the most perfect disguise will develop cracks.
For example, even now, when I hold her tightly in my arms, I still feel uneasy, unsatisfied, and as if there's an empty corner of me yearning for something.
He pursed his lips impatiently, then pulled the little girl's face from his arms and stared into her eyes as he spoke earnestly.
What kind of people did Ah Zhi like in the past?
He wanted to know what kind of person she would like, at least to give him some direction so he wouldn't be so lost. Whether it was fake or just an act… he didn't care; he was willing to keep playing the role for as long as possible.
But this inexplicable question left Zhan Xinjia completely dumbfounded.
In the past?
Her cheeks flushed red, and her gaze darted away.
Haha... Speaking of which, when she was bored in the past, she did have some "teenage fantasies" about what kind of person she would be with, but it was a little embarrassing to talk about it.
At least we can't tell Lord Shen.
Just as he was about to change the subject and brush it off, the hands that were holding her face forced her to look up and look directly at him, making it impossible for Zhan Xinjia to avoid him. She could only lower her eyes guiltily and avoid looking into his gaze.
The young man was very angry at her avoidance of the topic.
"Ah Zhi!"
The call was particularly loud, making Zhan Xinjia feel as if he had dreamt back to the time at the end of March when he first took him in, to the old man Shen Fuzi who was as rigid, stubborn and unapproachable as the old man in the Confucius Temple.
I have to say, although it was fierce, it was so exhilarating!
She loved the way Master Shen was usually gentle and non-aggressive, but would suddenly become angry and fierce when he got impatient. It made her feel good and wished he would say a few more fierce words.
Of course, such a perverse idea should be kept hidden, lest it frighten the gentle and innocent Master Shen.
Moreover, Master Shen was clearly in a real hurry, and she couldn't bear to let him be anxious, in case he developed Yu Yu syndrome and became bedridden.
However, this topic did make her a little hesitant...
After a long while, Zhan Xinjia finally stammered out a message.
"Uh, I once thought about just finding a scoundrel like me, who's terrible at manners but good-looking enough, to settle down with."
The two brothers would happily go out to beg for food together, arm in arm. If they got food, they'd go to the red-light district for a nice drink and some wine. If they didn't get any food, they'd go back to my house and steal my dad's money to spend..."
Shen Suqing: "..."
Zhan Xinjia: "Hey, Mr. Shen, what kind of look is that, like you're looking at someone who's mentally challenged?"
Shen Suqing: "..."
He was simply indescribable.
He regretted asking the question; the answer struck him like a thunderbolt. He didn't even know how to curse, and he was so angry that he laughed a few times on the spot.
Before Zhan Xinjia could react, the young man's fingertips firmly pinched her soft cheek.
Her cheeks throbbed slightly, and she widened her eyes, blinking innocently.
"Ugh!... Let's talk this out, please, let's talk this out, don't hit me!..."
Shen Suqing did not get angry, but instead laughed.
Are you an idiot?
He recited those words through gritted teeth.
Likes thugs? Likes begging on the streets with others? Likes stealing money at home?
Does that mean he lost because he was too well-mannered, his family wasn't poor enough, and he didn't know how to steal?
Still feeling unsatisfied, Shen Suqing ruffled her long, loose hair as well. Finally, he pursed his thin lips, turned his back to the girl with an icy expression, and clearly didn't want to talk to her anymore.
Zhan Xinjia was also helpless.
He was the one who insisted on asking, so why did he start sulking afterward? Is that right?
Zhan Xinjia wanted to laugh, but she tried her best to hold it in.
"Oh dear, the past is the past, the present is the present~ I've never met a handsome thug before! And right now, I like Lord Shen the most, Lord Shen~~~"
She snuggled up to him in a coquettish manner, wrapped her arms around his neck, and shoved herself into his embrace.
The little girl had a sweet, ingratiating smile on her face, shallow dimples on her cheeks, and a pair of beautiful, moist peach blossom eyes.
She put on a sweet, cloying tone.
"Waaaaah, Little Shen, don't be angry! Little Shen is the best! I want to be best friends with Little Shen the most, the very, very, very best of friends in the world~~~"
Never mind, it's embarrassing, but this trick is 100% effective.
Although the young man was still angry, he still reached out a hand to support her waist to prevent her from falling.
He was burning with anger, which made him restless and parched, but he gritted his teeth and endured it, not wanting Azhi to think that he was a petty and jealous person.
After a long while, Shen Suqing finally managed to squeeze out two words with a cold face.
Kiss me.
"Oh...okay, huh? Wait, huh???"
Just as Zhan Xinjia was about to obey, she suddenly realized what he had said. She froze, looking around in shock and confusion, staring in disbelief at the upright and dignified Grand Tutor Shen in front of her.
She scolded him angrily, feeling utterly disappointed in him.
"No, in broad daylight, in front of everyone! This is outrageous! It's utterly indecent!"
Shen Suqing: "..."
Why do kids always learn random, irrelevant things at crucial moments? Are you trying to drive them crazy?!
Shen Suqing lowered his voice, pressed his forehead against hers, and gritted his teeth as he repeated it again.
This time his tone was a bit fierce, carrying a strong sense of coercion.
"Hurry up and kiss me."
"..."
Although he felt it wasn't quite right, the shameless Zhan Xinjia obediently wrapped his arms around his neck, tilted his head back, and kissed Master Shen's cheek with a crisp sound before they parted.
Visibly, the corners of Little Shen's mouth immediately turned up two pixels, and his eyes lit up.
It seems that things have been appeased, and Zhan Xinjia breathed a sigh of relief for the time being.
However, before she could catch her breath, the sour-tongued young man who was hugging her spoke up again in a muffled voice.
"Will Ah Zhi think I'm useless? What if you meet someone better in the future...?"
"What better person?"
What? What?
Zhan Xinjia was completely bewildered. No, why was Lord Shen searching for enemies in the void again?
Which treacherous official possessed him?
Shen Suqing's tone became even more bittersweet, as if recounting a familiar story.
"For example, a domineering young general, a charming young marquis, a cold and aloof young prince... If you meet these people in the future, and they also fall in love with you, then you will run away, they will chase you, and you will have no way to escape..."
At that time, would Azhi still be willing to be my best friend?
Zhan Xinjia: "..."
Holy crap!
The most urgent thing now is to hurry home and search Master Shen's study to throw away all the melodramatic novels he was tricked into buying from that wicked Red Fruit Bookstore at the street corner by Fu Shou'an, and throw them far, far away.
That damned Fu dog!!
What kind of nonsense have you been showing my little Shen all this time?!
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