German Officer x You Who Traveled Through Time and Wanted to Go Home
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Chapter 73 Death of the Black Swan (1): Singing for Love
On January 18, the battle line between the two armies was redrawn, extending from Florian Square in the north, through Matthias Hill, Valoš Majór Farm, Fokácsilet Cemetery and Eagle Hill, to the Lajmanjos railway embankment south of Buda.
After Pest fell into enemy hands, they again sent a request for negotiations to General Wildenbruch, the supreme commander in Budapest.
Since the Buda fortress could only hold back part of the enemy, General Wildenbruch began to consider their request and sent a telegram to Berlin to inquire. As a result, the fighting in Buda temporarily subsided.
After retreating from Pest back to Buda, Feynz got a day to rest, but the special family pass he applied for you was never approved because you were already divorced in name.
He has a temporary apartment near the Budapest Church, and you can stay there for the time being.
Since the enemy captured the Budapest Waterworks and repeated artillery bombardments caused the Budapest water pipes to burst, the entire city faced water difficulties during the siege.
However, during this period, the International Red Cross actively negotiated, and it was said that Qiu and Luo made some kind of humanitarian intervention, so they no longer blocked the water supply to the Buda area.
So, after what seemed like an eternity, you finally took a nice bath during the break.
It was not water supplied by the waterworks, but drinking water, which was too precious. The water used for bathing was brought back bucket by bucket by Feynz from the medical mineral springs on Budapest Hill.
You catch up on some sleep in the apartment, and when you wake up you find that Feints has just added some wood to the fireplace and is back in bed.
Under the firewood was a flammable newspaper, on which was a page recording the Führer's Christmas speech last year and his New Year's speech this year.
Feinz leaned on the bed with no intention of resting. Seeing this, you also sat up from the bed, leaned on his shoulder, and accompanied him silently.
The man couldn't sleep, because as soon as he closed his eyes he saw the white and bloody battlefield, the miserable screams of his wounded comrades, the ferocious faces of the Soviet army during the attack, and... his lover who was recklessly pleading for the enemy.
The fierce battle left him no time to process all this, but when the war calmed down, as long as he thought about it a little, he could not help but feel terrible doubts and disappointments.
In his understanding, this has gone beyond the scope of sympathy and compassion, and has completely involved the position of enemy and me, and the decision of life and death.
The flames leaped up in the fireplace, gradually warming the cold apartment in the winter. The blooming fire swayed unwillingly, like a martyr raising his arms and shouting in some religious burning at the stake.
The apartment was so quiet that you could hear the sound of the flames devouring the room. His long silence made you feel uneasy, so you climbed onto his shoulders and leaned close to his ear to invite him.
"Brother... do you want z?"
Your eyes passed over him and looked at the bedside table. It was not the familiar arrangement in your home, and there was nothing in it that you needed.
“No, that…”
You mumbled, thinking he was agonizing over safety measures, thinking and rethinking them, before biting your lip and placing a kiss on his now-stubbled jaw, willingly making the sacrifice.
"Brother, if you want, this time... this time you can come in directly..."
Feinz, who had been silent all the time, felt his eyebrows twitch and his thoughts disconnected. He wordlessly pulled the quilt up to cover your exposed shoulders, then lowered his head to look at the obviously flushed face that came into his sight.
“If, if…”
You felt very ashamed under his burning gaze and still couldn't say that word. Feinz didn't take the initiative to speak, but just looked at you calmly.
In the end, you really couldn't think of any replacement words, so you had to shyly stick to him with your eyes half lowered, and then stumbled out the second half of the sentence.
"If...when we're having sex...if we do it outside again..." That way I won't get pregnant...
Feinz's heart beat faster and he frowned in a serious manner without your sight.
He took a cigarette from the box on the bedside table, clicked the lighter twice, lit the cigarette, took a puff, and then exhaled the smoke.
"Who taught you to be so unself-respecting?"
The slightly cold words made you look up from his gaze in a daze. You saw Feintz take another puff of his cigarette, then turn it in a different direction, his fingers holding the pale yellow flame, and directing the spark away from your face which was too close to his.
Then the man lifted your chin, and before you could react, he poured all the cigarette that had not yet been spit out into your mouth as if as a punishment.
The smell of tobacco instantly irritated your nasal cavity, your throat was choked and you kept coughing, and physiological tears welled up in your light blue eyes.
He put out his cigarette and without any prior preparation, asked directly: "Yina, why did you come back?"
You were still choking on the smoke, and before you could argue with your brother about his misbehavior, you heard his questioning.
It was the same question he asked you in the Theresa City Apartment when you returned to Budapest from Zurich.
Seeing you showing a confused look that he couldn't quite understand, Feints lifted your chin again with two fingers, his deep blue eyes reflecting your figure and the twinkling fire.
"It's really as you said, because..."
He uttered the second half of the sentence slowly, but you couldn't feel any warmth from his brother in his voice, as if the man was conducting some kind of reckoning with you after a brief ceasefire.
"Is it because you love me, or... did that damn Englishman assign you some mission that forced you to come back?"
I would even rather leave your daughter and leave her alone in Zurich.
You were shocked, having never expected your brother to suddenly question you like this, and your mind went blank for a moment.
You don't know how to answer him. The truth and the facts are what the system brought you back. But what is the system? How should you explain it to him?
A virtual entity that exists beyond any power in this world. This definition of a system also sounds sufficient to define the concept of "God."
So you want to tell someone who doesn't believe in God and doesn't believe that God exists that it is God's will that brings you back?
Your hesitation is not false. Hurt and embarrassment flashed in Feynman's eyes for a moment. That terrible emotion was like a raging fire, gradually devouring his innate strong self-control.
The action of lifting your chin with two fingers was replaced by a firm pinch, and he whispered to you in disbelief.
"So what's the mission this time? Are we going to kill a few Germans on the battlefield, or rescue a few Russians? Or are we going to eavesdrop on our military deployments so we can wipe us out?"
You were so frightened by his sudden anger and increasingly exaggerated assumptions that you were about to cry, so you broke free from him and threw yourself on top of him.
"Brother, what are you talking about? How could I possibly do that? There's no mission at all. I don't want to kill anyone, and I don't want to see anyone die..."
"But this is a battlefield, where people die every day. If the enemy doesn't die today, I'll be the one dying tomorrow."
Feinz took a deep breath and put the quilt back on you, but his tone did not soften: "Yina, even if it is like this, are you willing?"
The man pressed on step by step, and every word he said hit you hard. You cried so hard that you were out of breath. You couldn't speak in his arms and could only shake your head.
"I forgot, after all you've done for the Brits, your enemy is actually your brother."
Feynz closed his eyes, unable to stop himself from thinking about how you had been hypocritical and insincere to him over the years, using him like a Vichy donkey, and doing countless things that harmed the empire without his knowledge, even turning him into an accomplice and co-conspirator.
The man pulled the corners of his lips, unable to help but laugh at himself.
“No… No…”
"Not what?"
Feinz's eyes snapped open, his hawk-like gaze piercing through you. He lifted you up into his arms, blanket in hand, and let you sit on top of him.
…
You felt like you were completely melting under his terrible touch, and you were forced to cry out what was in your heart.
"I, I just want to complete the mission... I just want to go home, I don't want to stay here, I want to go home, I want to go home..."
As expected... the so-called love is all fake.
It's just a delaying tactic to keep him stable.
Feinz looked down at your face, which was covered with tears that worried him. His eyes darkened, and the anger he felt from being deceived so many times rose up uncontrollably. He pushed you down on the bed...
…
He got off you and covered you with the blanket, then you both lay back down, kind of sleeping in the same bed but having different dreams.
Until the violent sound of falling shells not far away awakened Wu Yan's thoughts, Feinz immediately put clothes on each other roughly and ran towards the basement with you.
"My Ina, don't be afraid, the bombing will soon be over."
Water droplets kept dripping from the ceiling, and even the cold air you breathed condensed on the walls. Your brother held you tightly in his arms, and you endured the headache in his arms and covered your ears.
The constant rumbling sound tells you that the armistice negotiations between the German and Soviet armies have failed again, and a new round of siege has begun.
After the bombing, Feintz left quickly, returned to the army, and rushed to the front line again. Apart from comforting and exhortations, he did not leave you any other words.
"Brother...you must come back safely. I'll be waiting for you at home."
You bid him farewell with tears in your eyes, and your eyes froze when you saw his resolute back, but he did not turn around or stop.
You finally understand that the so-called love between two people is just a thin membrane in this absurd and chaotic world. Under that fragile membrane, love has become a fragile object.
The unknown missions you have done for the Allies will always be like an invisible blade between the two of you. If you are not careful, that blade will easily pierce the membrane like tonight and leave indelible scratches on your bodies.
…
The artillery fire continued, and perhaps street fighting was about to break out in Buda. Hungarian college students organized Budapest civilians and began digging anti-tank trenches in the streets.
Men, women, old and young were hastily gathered, carrying shovels and pickaxes to build more fortifications in their homes. You also came out of your apartment, tools in hand, to join in.
The number of people that can be accommodated in an air-raid shelter is limited, and it is troublesome to do laundry, cook, and use water for daily life in an air-raid shelter. It is more convenient to stay in your own house, where at least there is a separate well. This is also the choice of most Buda citizens.
How to avoid air raids became a new problem. The wisdom of the working people was the greatest. Some Buda citizens came up with a way to make their own air-raid shelters.
Dig a pit in your yard that is large enough to accommodate the number of family members, then cover it with some wood, flat boards or other covering materials. Once there is a bombing, jump in and hide immediately.
And so, a new scene emerged during the siege of Budapest: everyone's faces were covered with soot and dust, the soot from the burning houses under artillery fire and the dust from the homemade bomb shelters they had dug.
Everyone is trying to save themselves from the horror of war through their own efforts.
"Ina, have you heard? The rescue team is only 17 kilometers away from us! And a suicide squad really broke through the Russians' encirclement and arrived in Buda with supplies!"
Belinda, a Gestapo family member who also failed to evacuate and stayed in Budapest, spoke to you passionately.
From the first time you meet Belinda, she is always calm and you rarely see such intense emotions on her face.
You nodded excitedly in response, "Belinda, I heard that. That's great! We finally have new supplies to distribute to everyone."
It is said that the 3rd SS Division, which came from Warsaw to rescue and relieve the siege, sent a group of suicide squads, driving a 40-ton motor barge carrying military supplies and supplies.
The suicide squad set out from Győr and miraculously crossed the minefields on the Danube.
Although they eventually ran aground near the village of Rhianiflu, the Soviet army was defending other villages along the Danube bend at the time, and the Soviets had no troops stationed there.
So, with the help of the Hungarian and German assault boat platoons stationed in Buda, and with the cover of the bushes on the shallows, the death squads of the SS Division successfully transported military supplies and supplies to Buda!
Soon, the authorities announced that a new round of rations would be distributed on Nauphegy Square. Braving the sky-high artillery fire and deafening roars, the citizens of Buda came out of air-raid shelters, bunkers, and basements and set off in a mighty procession.
You and Belinda followed the scattered crowd. After these days of siege, everyone had gained basic survival experience and would not gather in large groups.
In the distance, amidst the eerie and terrifying sound of artillery fire, there seemed to be the sound of some musical instrument, which kept ringing like flowing water, giving people a feeling of spring breeze that should not have appeared in this siege battle.
As you get closer to Nauphegi Square, the sound of the instrument becomes louder and louder, and you gradually realize that the sound, as soothing as a soft river, is the music of the piano.
On a collapsed house near the entrance to the square, a piano was embedded between the ruins of steel beams. Its top cover had fallen off, and the keys, one after another, were shining like a huge mouth with gaping teeth.
On a gray piano stool, a German soldier in gray-black uniform sat there. He was playing calmly, ignoring the artillery fire and smoke.
The sound of the piano continued to flow and ripple in this dusty world. Strauss's "The Blue Danube" was being played elegantly, bringing an untimely but gripping song to the army and citizens of Buda.
You walk forward with the queue, gazing at the back of the German soldier playing the music. Then, as you pass him, past him, and see him clearly, your thoughts gradually change from emotion to calmness, to admiration, and finally to astonishment...
You received two palm-sized, frozen potatoes and a small spoonful of tea leaves.
Then I found a pile of rubble, sat down there, and watched him play quietly, listening to this beautiful and gorgeous piano piece that should not have existed amid the roar of artillery fire.
You feel that at this moment, Schleicher is like a black swan, proud, stubborn, and never gives up.
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