Chapter 39 Pain (Three Updates) He was willing to come to her with light. ...
(39)
The dark clouds are as thick as smoke, and in deep winter, the snow is as heavy as cotton.
Emerging from the illusion, Li Shanglu stood in the snow, the tears on his face dried by the wind. His heart ached, his tears could no longer flow, and all his emotions, finding no outlet, dissolved into an endless exhaustion.
The person next to her wrapped her in a plain fur coat, and spoke in a gentle and soft voice.
"Go back, Pheasant."
Li Shanglu came back to her senses blankly and looked up at him. The face that she once thought she could trust now became blurry, as if covered by a chaotic fog.
She seemed to see Shen Changyi's appearance through him.
Lying quietly under the locust tree, I fell asleep as usual and would never wake up again.
These days, Li Shanglu couldn't understand why he felt anger and pain every time he thought of Shen Changyi's death.
She even suspected it was hatred, a hatred that ran deep into her bones, a hatred that would not dissipate even in the afterlife. Only after seeing the illusion reappear today did she slowly begin to understand.
It turns out that I regret it.
Li Shanglu hates regrets. She will never let herself regret anything. She wants to leave no regrets in everything. She must see the flowers she wants to see on the same day, eat the food she wants to eat at night, and never look back at the road she has walked.
Shen Changyi's death was the first time she regretted in her life.
These two words made her feel nauseous and want to vomit, and she wanted to dig these words out of her mind immediately.
Yes, she shouldn't regret it.
It's not her fault.
She originally wanted to live a good life. On the day she married Shen Changyi, she also thought about treating the Shen family as her own home, running the shop, managing the household accounts, and living an ordinary life with Shen Changyi.
It wasn't her who ruined it all, it was Heaven.
If God had not forced everyone around her to die one by one, she could have been happy.
It’s not her fault for Shen Changyi’s death.
If Helan Jin hadn't found her and tempted her with a large sum of money to live a better life, why would she choose to kill?
It was Helan Jin who wanted to use her to kill Shen Changyi.
It wasn't her fault that they all came to force her.
Li Shanglu held his forehead with his hand, looking tired and silent.
Helan Jin looked at her solemnly, leaned down, and wanted to hold her hand, "Go back, it's too cold outside, it will hurt your body..."
Before he finished speaking, there was a crackling sound.
His voice stopped abruptly.
A dagger pierced his chest. Li Shanglu slowly raised his eyes and pulled out the dagger inch by inch.
Blood dripped onto the snow, leaving dark red plum blossoms imprinted on it.
Helan Jin looked at her in shock, as if he felt no pain.
"Helan Jin, you are a demon."
Li Shanglu has no magical powers and no talent. He is just an ordinary mortal who can be found everywhere on the street.
But she guessed that the man in human skin in front of her was a demon that crawled out of the underworld.
I should have thought that people like them would always be the opposite of those kind and good people in this storybook.
She is a bad person, and so is Helan Jin, so they have to be insidious, cunning, vicious and cruel. Otherwise, how can they highlight the noble, beautiful, sacred and flawless personalities of those good people?
Helan Jin spat out a mouthful of blood, held his body up with difficulty, and looked up at her.
Such a cold expression, looking down from above, actually made him confuse Li Shanglu with Shen Changyi for a moment.
How could he be like him?
Li Shanglu's skills in exorcising demons were all taught by him personally, how could he be like him?
You are not allowed to be like him. No.
"That knife stabbed me so accurately. Are you starting to hate me?" Helan Jin spat out the blood foam between his teeth, stared at her, and smiled. "It's good that you hate me. I wish you hated me. Anyway, your hatred will turn into love. Shang Lu, you are too soft-hearted. One knife is not enough. Didn't I teach you that when exorcising demons, the knife must be coated with poison."
Li Shanglu looked at him coldly and threw the bloody dagger to the ground.
"I don't hate you." She said indifferently, "I'm just being kind and avenging my husband. You want to kill Shen Changyi, not me, so why should I hate you?"
Helan Jin's expression paused slightly, and he laughed in disbelief, "What did you say?"
"I haven't done anything in my life." Li Shanglu wrapped herself tightly in her fur coat. It was the only wearable piece of clothing that Shen Changyi bought for her. Although the style was not good-looking, it was very warm.
She smiled and repeated it again, but her eyes were emotionless. "I didn't kill him. I buried the medicine bag in the bamboo forest. It was you who wanted to kill him. What does the grudge between you have to do with me?"
Helan Jin stared at her intently, "Do you think that by saying this, you can continue to openly abandon the past and continue to live with him? I don't believe that Shen Changyi won't bear a grudge against you after learning about this, and I don't believe that he will never retaliate against you!"
Li Shanglu walked into Shutong Pavilion as if he hadn't heard anything. He said calmly, "You can tell him about it. And by the way, ask him how he plans to retaliate against me."
She would not turn back, even if the road ahead was pitch black, she would keep going. From today on, the person who killed Shen Changyi was Helan Jin, not her.
She has already avenged Shen Changyi, and they owe each other nothing.
"Li Shanglu!"
Helan Jin staggered to his feet and tried to walk towards her.
"By the way, the knife is indeed coated with poison."
"Have a safe trip."
He suddenly stopped where he was and watched Li Shanglu slowly close the door, his vision gradually blurring.
Helan Jin stared at the door coldly and sneered, as if mocking himself.
He took out a piece of jade from his arms and crushed it, and soon a magic mist rose around him.
"My Lord, Shen Changyi is on his way back to Ming Zhou Sect."
Helan Jin looked gloomily at the candlelit window of Shutong Pavilion and said calmly, "Change your body. Burn this one and leave no trace."
"yes."
*
The door slowly closed, Li Shanglu leaned against the door, and his breathing became rapid again.
She took a deep breath, pressed her palms to her chest, and tried to calm herself down.
After a long time, she finally remembered the pills for purifying anger that she had made. With trembling hands, she opened the medicine box, put it in her mouth, chewed it into pieces and swallowed it.
Slightly bitter.
Half an incense stick of time had passed, and the poison had taken effect, leaving Helan Jin doomed. Now, the only person in the world who knew about the incident was Shen Changyi.
Maybe he didn't mind at all and had forgotten about it a long time ago. But Shen Changyi had a good memory since he was a child and could recite the books he read in one go.
But even if he remembered, what would it matter? He had never mentioned it in such a long time. But what if he really did have a grudge in his heart?
Li Shanglu's mind was in a mess and she kept refuting herself. Suddenly, she heard a baby crying. She came to her senses briefly, stood up and walked to the couch, held the little persimmon in her arms and coaxed her softly.
In an instant, she stopped moving.
——Fingertips, stained with blood.
Li Shanglu tried hard to calm himself down, put the little Shizi who had fallen asleep back on the soft couch, and walked to the basin to wash his hands over and over again.
She didn't know how many times she had washed them, her fingers were already dehydrated and wrinkled, but she still felt the disgusting smell of blood on them.
She kept a sullen face and continued to wash.
Suddenly, the door opened and cold wind blew in with snowflakes.
Li Shanglu's pupils shrank rapidly, and he subconsciously looked up, meeting a pair of eyes full of worry.
"Shanglu, what's wrong with you?"
He hurriedly closed the door and walked in, placing his palm on her heart. "Have you taken the medicine? How many Enrage-Removing and Purifying Pills are left?"
Li Shanglu looked at him silently.
"Why aren't you talking?"
Shen Changyi rushed back without stopping for a moment. His hair was covered with snowflakes and his Taoist robes were soaked with snow.
Something happened to Shanglu.
Thinking of this possibility, his heart felt like it was on fire. Who was the demon general's subordinate? How many people had he killed? Had he ever been to Fangcao City? He didn't bother to ask any questions. He killed him with a sword and even left the injured Xie Du to the people in the city before leaving.
Li Shanglu still stared at him without saying a word.
Just when Shen Changyi was anxious to help her find medicine, she finally spoke.
"You used magic to take away my pain."
She was narrating, not questioning.
Shen Changyi paused, looked back at her, and said in a lower voice, "You know..."
Seeing him admit it, Li Shanglu closed his eyes, and a tight string in his heart suddenly broke.
Why does she always seem so vicious?
When he was bearing the pain of childbirth for her, she was full of resentment that he was not with her.
Just when she had convinced herself and tried to put all the blame on others, he came back to see her from afar, braving the wind and snow, suffering from the pain of heart palpitations.
"Chen Changyi." She suddenly called softly, "I killed someone."
Hearing her words, Shen Changyi looked stunned.
"I killed Helan Jin."
how?
How can Shen Changyi help her to exonerate herself now?
Li Shanglu stared at him, not missing any subtle expression on his face.
Shen Changyi also looked at her. After a while, he asked calmly, "Where is the body?"
"It was just outside the door. Didn't you see it when you came back?"
"No."
"Where's the dagger?"
“No.”
Li Shanglu was slightly stunned, walked around him and went to open the door.
Outside Shutong Pavilion, there was no Helan Jin's body, nor the blood-stained dagger. Even the bloodstains on the ground had long been covered by the snow and disappeared.
How is that possible?
"Phytolacca."
Shen Changyi's voice sounded behind him, and he whispered, "There is nothing outside, only a faint demonic energy."
This was also the reason why he was nervous just now. A demon cultivator had been here before.
"You killed demons, not humans, right?"
He said this with great confidence, took her hand and pulled her into Shutong Pavilion.
"Can you tell me what happened?"
Li Shanglu looked at his concerned expression and gentle voice. His chest seemed to be blocked by wet cotton wool. It was obviously extremely dull, but stiff and numb, and he could not feel any pain.
Why do you always believe her? Why do you always find excuses for her?
Why was it that every time she thought the darkness ahead had no end, he was willing to come to her with light?
Shen Changyi touched his chest, frowned and looked at her, then suddenly reached out and held Li Shanglu in his arms.
"If you don't want to talk, just cry out loud, it will feel better."
Li Shanglu leaned on his shoulder and wanted to push him away, but his arms had no strength. He clearly didn't want to cry, but tears flowed unconsciously.
The collar of my clothes was soaked, and there was a smell of snow mixed with the familiar and reassuring scent of bamboo.
"I can't cry, give me back the pain."
After a while.
She finally burst into tears, sobbing at first, and soon she burst into tears like a child who had suffered injustice.
"It hurts so much, Shen Changyi."
"I'm in so much pain."
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