Chapter 109
"I often wonder in my mind, if I had bravely revealed Zhou Mufan's true face to you, would you have broken up early?
If I had mustered up the courage to confess my feelings to you at that time, would I be the one staying by your side at this moment? "Gu Xingchen was filled with regret and self-blame whenever he recalled these past events.
After hearing what he said, Xia Ruoan felt mixed emotions.
In fact, she was not sure whether she would resolutely choose to break up if she knew that Zhou Mufan was with her just because of a ridiculous bet.
As for whether she would accept Gu Xingchen's feelings, she had no idea. After all, love was something that could never be easily predicted and controlled.
"Gu Xingchen, there is no such thing as 'if' in life." Xia Ruoan responded to him calmly, not wanting to let him have any more illusions.
Because even she herself felt confused and uncertain about the future direction of her emotions, so how could she give him any false expectations?
"Brother Leng and I have already obtained a marriage certificate, and we have a child. These are facts that cannot be changed. No matter what, the relationship between you and me can only stop at being friends."
Xia Ruoan paused, then continued with a firm and serious look.
Gu Xingchen clearly sensed the resolute rejection in her words, and couldn't help but feel sad: "That's right, there are not so many 'ifs' in the world!
So all that is left for me is deep regret and endless remorse. I can only blame myself for being too cowardly and not being able to express my love for you earlier, which is why I am in this situation today, and I don’t even have the slightest chance to fight for it anymore.”
After a moment of silence, Gu Xingchen suddenly raised his head, staring at Xia Ruoan with his eyes, and asked nervously, "Ruoan, I have a question that has been in my mind for a long time. I wonder if you can answer me truthfully?"
Seeing Xia Ruoan nodded slightly in agreement, he took a deep breath, as if he had mustered all his courage.
"If I had bravely pursued you before Zhou Mufan, would you be willing to give it a try with me?" Gu Xingchen stared at the woman in front of him expectantly and asked softly.
When Xia Ruoan heard this, her body trembled slightly and a hint of hesitation appeared on her face.
After a while, she slowly spoke: "Maybe... maybe. Gu Xingchen, in fact, I have always thought that you are a very good person, but maybe it is true as people say, fate always plays tricks on people, and we are not destined to be together after all."
Xia Ruoan didn't want to give him hope, and continued, "I know very well that pushing you to someone else is too cruel and ruthless for you, but I have to admit a cruel fact, there is no possibility between you and me.
So please forget about me."
Xia Ruo'an couldn't help but fall into deep thought. After a long while, he sighed and said, "Thank you for your deep love for me for the past seven years. It's a pity that I can't return your deep love.
After all, I am now someone else's wife, and I can't respond to you no matter what. Doing so would not only be unfair to you, but would also hurt my husband."
After hearing this, Gu Xingchen's eyes turned red, and tears welled up in them. He tried hard not to let them fall, and just nodded silently, and said in a slightly hoarse voice: "Okay, I understand, thank you for telling me these true words."
After a moment's silence, Gu Xingchen seemed to muster up great courage and asked again carefully: "Ruoan, can I hug you once?" As soon as the words came out of his mouth, even he felt that this request was too abrupt.
Xia Ruoan was obviously stunned, obviously not expecting Gu Xingchen to make such a request.
Her eyes flickered and she seemed to be experiencing a fierce struggle in her heart.
Finally, she shook her head gently and replied with difficulty: "I'm sorry, I can't promise you."
Gu Xingchen did not show too much disappointment after hearing the result, as if everything had been expected by him.
He raised his head slightly, looked at Xia Ruoan calmly, and said slowly: "Ruoan, in fact, you have always been a kind-hearted person, but at the same time you are also an extremely ruthless woman.
You know that I am very happy for you, but because you cannot give me the same response, you tell me again and again how good and excellent I am.
But at the same time, in order to let me let go of my feelings for you as soon as possible, you didn't even give me the slightest chance to get close to you. "After saying this, Gu Xingchen sighed softly.
At this moment, Xia Ruoan's heart was actually as if a raging storm had been set off.
She never imagined that Gu Xingchen had been in love with her for seven years. This sudden fact brought her too much of a shock.
No matter what happened in the past, after what they have experienced, I am afraid it will be difficult for them to continue to remain even ordinary friends in the future.
Perhaps, never meeting again is the best choice.
Thinking of this, Xia Ruoan said softly with guilt: "I'm sorry..."
However, before she could finish, Gu Xingchen interrupted her.
He just shook his head, a bitter smile appeared on his face, and said: "I don't need your apology, Ruoan. I like you, this is my own business, it has nothing to do with you.
Moreover, I have never regretted falling in love with you. Now, I just hope you can agree to another request of mine, okay? Even if it is just as a last remembrance of my deep attachment to you in the past seven years. "
"Don't tell me that 'I will meet someone better in the future' anymore! No need, really no need! Because to me, you are the best.
My heart is actually very small, so small that it seems to be able to accommodate only you.
I don't mean to put any pressure on you intentionally, but from the very beginning, I have only thought about two things in my heart - to do a good job in breeding and to spend the rest of my life with you.
I only have these two dreams, one is to raise the best quality pigs, and the other is to marry you and raise pigs like me. "At this point, Gu Xingchen paused for a moment, with a bitter smile on his face.
"But now it seems that it is becoming more and more difficult to marry you.
In that case, I will devote all my attention to pig farming.
But please promise me, Xia Ruoan, that you must live a happy life no matter what.
If...if one day, you really choose to end this marriage, can you be the first to tell me? Please give me such a chance, okay? Please. "Gu Xingchen pleaded with Xia Ruoan in an almost pleading tone, his eyes full of sincerity and expectation.
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