Jing Zuohuai's family was very strict with him, and the pressure he suffered since childhood came from his father.
"I told you, there are three children in our family. The day I was born was my mother's death anniversary." Jing Zuhuai sat in his arms, his left hand tightly clasped with his.
"So, on my birthday, I didn't get any gifts or cakes, and my family didn't prepare anything special for me. Instead, we went to the cemetery to visit my mother, brought her a beautiful bouquet of flowers and delicious snacks, and visited her grave," Jing Zuohuai recalled slowly. This memory was a happy one for him.
He slowly told He Zhijin about his past as if he was joking, as if he was telling a story.
"Perhaps to make up for my mother's upbringing, my father was very strict with me since I was a child. He controlled my diet and didn't let me eat so-called junk food. But children used to be a bit rebellious. Every time my second brother took me out to eat, we would get a beating and scolding when we came back."
Although my second brother was the child who listened to his father the most, he rebelled against his father again and again when he was a child.
"Even so, every time I want something, my father will satisfy me." Jing Zuohuai listed the unreasonable requests he had made before one by one.
For example, if he wanted something like an airplane, a tank, or a microscope, but not a model, but a real one, his father would buy him whatever he could, and if he couldn't, he would take him to a science and technology museum or a museum.
"He sounds like a good father, doesn't he?" Jing Zuohuai said with a bit of boasting, "He may be a father who always responds to requests, but I still grew up crooked."
"How should I put it?" He thought about the right words. "When I was little, I was a bit soft-hearted and obeyed my father's orders. After all, being obedient means being rewarded. As a child, who doesn't like rewards?"
He Zhijin imagined what he looked like when he was a child, soft and sticky, with a little tail following behind him, which must be very cute!
"This situation continued until I was in junior high school." Jing Zuhuai's mouth slowly softened. "At that time, I was a day student and was exposed to more things. It was also a rebellious period. Gradually, I became disgusted with my father's control over me." He looked at He Zhijin's hand.
"It was a spring outing organized by the school, and all my classmates were going, but my father disagreed. I had already made plans with my friends, and as kids, we all care about our reputation."
"Then I asked him why he controlled everything. It's fine if he controls my studies both in and out of class, but why he even controls my friendships and what I bring home."
"I asked him why he had to watch me so closely and why he had to control me in everything." Past memories came flooding back like a spring, making him feel a little regretful about his past self.
"Because at that time, my older sister and brother could do whatever they wanted, but I was restricted in every way. Even staying overnight at a classmate's house was not allowed."
"I remember I was really excessive." He lowered his head. "I asked if it was because of my mother, because I lacked her education, that's why you were so strict with me. I also said, 'I didn't kill my mother, I've never met her, you can't treat me as your property.'"
After saying this, his father slapped himself hard. This was the first time Jing Zuohuai was beaten by his father.
The pain on his face shattered the teenager's fragile self-esteem.
"That was the only time I had a fight with my father, and it was the last time so far."
Jing Zuohuai sighed, "This is one of the reasons. After I found my ideal and pursuit, I told him that I wanted to make movies and become an actor. He told me that if I entered the entertainment industry, I would get out of the house. He was just talking at that time. The real reason I left home was because of this incident."
"And then what? Then you moved into a residential complex and started living with Little Ear and your cat?" He Zhijin continued.
Jing Zuohuai nodded. That was indeed the case. Although the conditions were a bit poor back then, I was indeed very happy living in the rented house.
He had heard Jing Zuohuai talk about these things before, and they were his precious memories.
"So what happened to you in junior high school? Why did you hit someone and almost get expelled from school?"
This was the memory he least wanted to recall. The fragments of the past tormented him like a dilemma, and it was the fragment he most wanted to let go of.
But I have to recall it. Some people have dug out this clip to slander me. In order not to worry my family and friends, and in order not to affect the people in the studio, I must explain this clip to them.
"I." His voice trembled. "I wasn't like this before. I wasn't a physically active kid. I used to be a student favored by teachers and had friendly relationships with classmates."
"But..." Jing Zuohuai's body was shaking a little, and he didn't know how to start.
He Zhijin noticed his condition, hugged him tightly, and comforted him softly, "It's okay, you are recounting the past, the hurt is over."
Jing Zuohuai tried hard to breathe and calm himself down.
"I used to have a soft personality and was easy to talk to," Jing Zuohuai said. "My family was also relatively well-off, so the shoes and other things I wore were all brand-name. At the time, I didn't have any desire to compare myself with others, and that made the other male classmates jealous."
"Maybe they noticed that my family had a little money, so they would often imply that I should bring them home to play. My father himself restricted me from making friends with people I didn't know, as he was afraid that I would be cheated or bullied. But I think making friends is about making friends with the person, and has nothing to do with other things." It turns out that we must listen to our elders.
Even if you don't listen to it, it's always helpful to keep it in mind.
"I kept refusing, which made them lose face, and then they started to make things difficult for me."
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