Chapter 100: Ye Chenyu's Perspective Diary
On August 4, the 341st year of the Huaguo Kingdom, it was raining.
Xie He, this madman, finally attacked me.
My face was in great pain, and blood mixed with raindrops dripped down. I didn't even need to look in the mirror to know that I must be utterly disfigured.
It's so... ugly.
I don't want to see the rain underground.
Where to go?
The Xie family really doesn't want to go back.
There is no normal person in that family.
But where else can I go?
I can’t go back to the Ye family either.
The couple who nominally adopted me used me as a guinea pig from a young age, doing countless things to me. In the end, they sold me to the Xie family just for money.
The price is quite high.
That's enough.
The rain was so heavy that it was impossible to open my eyes.
Or... just die here?
It also saves you from disgusting others and yourself.
On August 5, the 341st year of the Huaguo Kingdom, it was raining.
I was kidnapped.
Thrown onto a strange ship and left to die.
It would be better to die early...
On August 20, the 341st year of the Huaguo Kingdom, the weather was cloudy.
I met a girl.
I don’t know who murdered her, but she was tied up in a warehouse with me. I watched her sleep for many days before she woke up. After she woke up, she didn’t look hungry at all.
And, interestingly, she was very calm, which was a little different from what I had imagined.
She told me a lot and even encouraged me to get plastic surgery to change my face.
So interesting.
So beautiful.
I like it a little bit.
Would life be less boring if I were with someone like this?
August 26, 341st year of the Chinese Empire, the weather was sunny.
We have been drifting on the boat for many days.
The sea is blue, the sky is blue, and the days are so quiet that only the sound of the waves remains.
She has always been so nice to me, so nice that sometimes it seems unreal to me.
Whenever she got any food, she would always hand it to me first, look at me with bright eyes, and ask me if I wanted to eat it first.
So natural and so gentle.
No one has ever been so nice to me?
She was the first one.
August 27, 341st year of the Huaguo Kingdom, the weather was sunny.
The boat finally docked.
I had no reason to stay with her anymore, but I was still desperately thinking of various excuses.
Unexpectedly, God actually heard my selfish thoughts.
She suddenly fainted.
I rushed over and picked her up almost without hesitation.
I'm sorry, I know this is mean.
But I have the chance to be with her again.
September 1, 341st year of the Huaguo Kingdom, the weather was sunny.
She slept for a long time and finally woke up.
I handed her a glass of water, and she took it, but her eyes were filled with a strange blankness.
She didn't remember anything—
I completely forgot who I was, even who I was.
I don't know what to say.
Maybe God really wanted to keep her by my side.
I told her, “You are my girlfriend.”
She was stunned for a moment, without any doubt, and just said "oh" softly.
I took out the handbook I had carefully prepared, which was filled with various facial feature templates. I asked her to choose her favorite eyes, lips, nose shape...
She watched it seriously, and even looked up at me occasionally, as if to compare.
Since she's going to stay with me forever, I should at least change to a face...that she'll never get tired of looking at.
September 2, 341st year of the Huaguo Kingdom, the weather was sunny.
I hired a nanny to serve her specifically.
In fact, I don’t like the presence of other people in my private space at all.
But I think she needs it.
I installed a surveillance camera, but I didn't have any other thoughts. I just wanted to see her. Even if I watched her sleeping or frowning, I would think it was beautiful.
I checked the information.
It is said on the Internet that this feeling of being unable to help but pay attention to everything about the other person and finding every move of the other person charming is called love.
How strange.
I have someone I want to love.
On September 11, the 341st year of the Chinese Empire, the weather was cloudy.
I'm back.
But she has changed.
She actually teamed up with the nanny to help her escape in secret.
I clearly didn't see them exchange a few words. Was she born with this ability? She could easily attract other people's attention and make them willing to take risks for her.
never mind.
Since she wants to play this escape game, let her do it.
Anyway, I will find her in a few days.
Then, just bring her back.
At least now...she should be happy.
September 18, 341st year of the Huaguo Kingdom, it was raining.
Something is wrong.
My memory has been getting really bad lately.
Some vague fragments always flash through my mind, as if... I once knew someone very important.
They all said that I had a very ugly incident some time ago because of a woman and was even put in jail for a few days.
How is that possible?
I have no impression at all.
I can't remember anything at all.
Forget it, I’m too lazy to go into it.
What is more important now is to deal with the Xie family in Shangjing.
I'll deal with these bad things after I finish my important business.
On July 1, 352nd year of the Huaguo Kingdom, the weather was cloudy.
As soon as I arrived in Rongcheng, I met a woman named Wen Wan.
Very strange.
It was clearly the first time we met, but my intuition was shouting in my head like crazy: This is her, she is the one you are looking for.
I just happened to hear that the eldest daughter of the Wen family is recruiting a private doctor.
OK, then go and apply for the job.
With this identity, it should be easier to find out.
Why does Wen Wan give me this weird intuition?
On July 9, 352nd year of the Huaguo Kingdom, the weather was sunny.
The eldest daughter of the Wen family has a really bad temper.
They get mad at the slightest provocation, and when they start arguing, their eyes widen, which is actually a bit... lively.
It seems like my health is not very good. I am obviously in poor health, but I always secretly eat those sweet cakes.
However, since the person who wanted to harm her was Wen Wan...
Then I won't interfere.
My goal from the beginning to the end was just to get close to Wenwan.
Her life or death has nothing to do with me.
August 21, 352nd year of the Chinese Empire, the weather was sunny.
I never thought that someone like me, who is used to calculating and keeping a distance from everyone, would have a day when I feel upset.
Just because of Wen Nianchu.
Wen Nianchu, the one who plays racing without caring about his life and has a fire burning in his eyes.
I originally came here for Wen Wan, but I don’t know when it started, my eyes couldn’t help but follow her.
September 17, 352nd year of the Huaguo Kingdom, rain.
She knew.
He knew the original intention of my approach and all my concealments and calculations.
Those eyes that were always bright, when they looked at me, were nothing but cold ashes.
I wanted to explain, wanted to hold her back, but all the words seemed ridiculously pale the moment she turned and left.
My original intention suddenly became as light as a speck of dust in the face of the fear of losing her.
But she won't see me again.
Don't want to see me anymore.
OK.
Then I won’t see her either.
Anyway, I didn't come here for her, right?
October 5, 352nd year of the Huaguo Kingdom, rain.
I haven't seen her for a month.
I haven't seen her for a whole month.
I avoided all the places she often went.
She was the one who fired me first.
Who am I now and what right do I have to care about her?
But I just felt a lump in my throat.
Can't go up or down.
October 7, 352nd year of the Huaguo Kingdom, rain.
Accompany Wenwan shopping and buy her anything she likes.
But I was distracted the whole time.
There was only one thought that kept repeating in my mind: After Wen Nianchu fired me, it seemed that he had never found a new private doctor.
Her body...will it get worse if no one is watching it?
In the end, I couldn't help it and asked Wen Wan casually.
Wen Wan dodged her gaze for a moment and said, "Nian Chu... She's had a severe cold recently and has been lying at home resting."
My heart sank.
But the next second, he was too scared to confirm it.
I was afraid of seeing her sarcastic eyes, and even more afraid of hearing news that I couldn't bear.
Forget it, don't scare yourself.
She is such an energetic person, how could a little cold possibly defeat her?
October 12, 352nd year of the Huaguo Kingdom, wind.
She is not sick.
She is dead.
I didn't even get to see her for the last time.
She was taken away by another man.
That person's name was Xie Yue. Had they met before? How could he not know?
October 21, 352nd year of the Huaguo Kingdom, wind.
My brain seemed to be awakened by this gust of wind.
I remember everything.
Wen Nianchu...
She is the one I have been looking for.
But I was wrong.
I messed everything up.
And now…she was gone.
what do I do.
On August 4, the 341st year of the Huaguo Kingdom, it was raining.
I was born again.
It was back to the day when I just returned to Xie's house, but I exposed Xie He's conspiracy in advance.
I dare not see her.
I'm scared.
On August 5, the 341st year of the Huaguo Kingdom, it was raining.
I want to see her again.
Let's wait a little longer.
She is studying in another province now and will only return to Rongcheng after the college entrance examination.
Let's wait a little longer.
On August 6, the 341st year of the Huaguo Kingdom, it was raining.
It's so hard to wait.
I might as well buy a plane ticket and go to another place to see her secretly.
She doesn't know herself anyway.
Never mind...let's wait a little longer.
The Xie family's affairs have not been resolved yet. If she is involved in this early, things may get worse.
On August 7, the 341st year of the Huaguo Kingdom, it was raining.
I miss her so much...
On August 8, the 341st year of the Huaguo Kingdom, it was raining.
I miss her so much...
On June 10, 345th year of the Huaguo era, it was raining.
I miss her so much, I miss her so much, I miss her so much, I miss her so much, I miss her so much...
After the college entrance examination, she should be back.
Why don’t I go to Rongcheng too? It just so happens that I have some cooperation with Huangdai.
Go see her.
On June 20, the 345th year of the Huaguo era, it was raining.
Thoughts...
Living Nian Nian.
I can't let her find me.
On August 22, the 345th year of the Huaguo era, it was raining.
I met her on the boat back to Rongcheng.
I talked to her.
But she was followed by a man with a dark face...and it was obvious that mine was her favorite face.
Can't get angry.
Can't get angry.
On August 23, the 345th year of the Huaguo era, it was raining.
She left me alone on the boat.
…
She left again.
On August 28, the 345th year of the Huaguo era, it was raining.
Xie Yue, it’s him again.
It's him again. Why is he always haunting Wen Nianchu?
It was like this before and it is like this now.
What exactly does Nian Nian like about him?
He is not as good-looking as me and is poor. What can he bring to Nian Nian since he came from an orphanage?
Nian Nian must be just playing with him. It’s okay. She will definitely like me.
From the monitoring device, it can be heard that the two did not do anything.
But I felt inexplicably unhappy.
On August 29, the 345th year of the Huaguo era, it was raining.
Nian Nian sent me to jail again, this is the second time.
Why.
Why?
I want to stay with you.
September 6, 345th year of the Huaguo Kingdom, it was raining.
On the nth day after I cursed Xie Yue in prison, I was released.
I want to go find her.
I miss her so much.
September 7, 345th year of the Huaguo Kingdom, it was raining.
There was a problem with the company. It was said that a mysterious Internet company emerged in Shangjing and pointed out that there was a problem with the capital chain of the company under his name.
Why did it have to be this point? It's like it was intentional.
Forget it, let’s go back to Beijing first.
The old man criticized my behavior.
boring.
It’s none of their business. I can do whatever I want.
On August 10, 347 of the Huaguo Period, it was raining.
I found something interesting.
So I looked into some weird stuff.
I watched the man's movements and followed him to the dock.
Sure enough, I saw Wen Nianchu.
They talked a lot, saying that the world is a book.
The little girl is the author and she wants to kill Wen Nianchu.
So I snatched the notebook.
I killed the author.
I used the notebook to let Wen Nianchu kiss me.
I didn’t get the kiss, and it was Xie Yue again!
I really want to shoot him.
But the gun is not in my hand, what a pity.
On August 15, 347 of the Huaguo Period, it was raining.
After the incident with the author, the thought of kidnapping her did not disappear, but instead entangled my mind like a vine.
But I didn't end up doing it.
I just lurked around her silently, almost masochistically, watching her life.
I watched her smile at Xie Yue. That smile was bright and dazzling, a gift I had never received before.
I watched Xie Yue naturally hold the umbrella for her, and she blushed slightly when his fingertips brushed against her hair.
I saw the light in her eyes as she looked at him.
The two kissed passionately on an empty street corner and ran hand in hand.
That was true love, no doubt about it, scorching hot.
Jealousy corrodes the heart like poison.
I feel very uncomfortable.
Because she really likes that person.
Even if I were tied up, those smiles would not belong to me.
On August 20, 347 of the Huaguo Period, it was raining.
The person in the mirror looks like me, but also not like me.
I am imitating Xie Yue.
Learn the curve of his smile, learn the unintentional pauses when he speaks, and learn the gentle yet distant look in his eyes when he looks at people.
How ridiculous.
I, Ye Chenyu, have actually fallen to the point where I need to steal another man's shadow to beg for a little possible attention.
Today, he received a letter.
The envelope was plain white, and the handwriting was neat and beautiful, it was Wen Nianchu's handwriting.
I somehow intercepted it.
The letter contained only one sentence: "I hope you can say goodbye to your past self."
…
My past self?
Which past?
Was it me who snatched the notebook from her at the dock and almost kissed her?
Or was it Ye Chenyu from earlier who only knew how to use calculation and indifference to get close to her?
She didn't want me to imitate anyone.
She wants the real, complete me to disappear completely from her world.
This feeling is a thousand times more painful than her calling me a "madman" directly.
Madman is at least an intense emotion, while Farewell… is a complete obliteration.
How should I say goodbye?
The shackles called "the past" have long been welded to my bones and become one with me.
If I were to say goodbye, wouldn't that mean I would have to crush myself completely?
She is such a cruel young lady, just like she was at the beginning, too decisive in what she says and does.
On August 25, 347 of the Huaguo Period, it was raining.
The Xie family finally told me the truth.
They said that I was just a substitute they carefully found, a shadow used to confuse the outside world and could be abandoned at any time when necessary.
No wonder... when this face was scratched by Xie He, no one cared.
They watched coldly, allowing the blood and pain to become the mark of my awakening.
It turns out that all the indifference and indulgence originated from this.
Why pour emotion into a tool?
A substitute...
It turns out that I don’t even have the qualifications to have my own identity.
Everything I have experienced may just be a prelude to another person's script.
Being so incomplete and fake, it seems that I am indeed... no longer worthy of her.
Even looking up has become a blasphemy.
What should I do?
My heart still aches when I think of her name, but I have lost all motivation to approach her.
August 30, 347th year of the Chinese Empire, the weather was sunny.
never mind.
let it go.
I wish you and Xie Yue happiness.
Thoughts.
I heard that you have a heart disease and it has never been cured. You will always be affected by any strenuous exercise.
Since I cannot love you completely in this life, at least let me say goodbye to you in the most thorough way.
When I die, please take out my heart.
Let it continue to beat in your chest instead of me.
From now on, you will see the grandeur of the mountains and rivers, feel the cycle of the four seasons, and even your every heartbeat will be my silent but deafening confession.
My heart, from the beginning to the end, truly belongs to you only.
From now on... my world will be full of sunshine.
very nice.
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