Chapter 3 Xie Shijin, who are you heartbroken for?
Why has Xie Shijin become so thin?
Cheng Shiyun's impression of him was still from two years ago.
Xie Shijin was tall, reaching 1.8 meters in his first year of high school. He was slender with fair skin, making him very eye-catching in a crowd.
His eyelids were slightly narrow, and his pupils were a warm, clear light brown, sparkling and dazzling. His eyelashes were long and straight, and he always liked to keep them down, only raising them when looking at people.
Xie Shijin has a slightly introverted personality, but because he is handsome, many girls from other classes pass by his classroom door every day and then secretly peek into the classroom.
However, the boys in the class didn't really like him.
In Cheng Shiyun's memory, Xie Shijin was not only handsome, but also eccentric.
Because Xie Shijin always wore long sleeves, regardless of whether it was winter or summer.
But one of his long-sleeved shirts saved Cheng Shiyun's self-esteem.
Cheng Shiyun's menstrual cycle is irregular, often arriving half a month early or half a month late.
During the long break that day, Cheng Shiyun felt unwell and asked for leave to return to the classroom. She rested on her desk, and when she went to the toilet just before class was about to start, the girl behind her quietly tugged at her clothes and said that there was blood on her pants and the chair.
She was caught in an awkward situation, unsure whether to sit or leave.
The students behind her went around asking around to see if anyone had any clothes or coats.
It's unbearably hot in September, who would wear a coat?
Cheng Shiyun hid her phone, intending to call her mother, but was patted on the shoulder by the student behind her.
She turned around, and a shirt was stuffed into her arms.
"Thank you for giving it to me, go quickly."
Cheng Shiyun looked at the boys in the last row.
Having just finished running, Xie Shijin had a bit of sweat on his forehead. He took off his shirt, revealing a clean white short-sleeved T-shirt underneath.
A large area of burn scars covered his right arm, almost spanning the entire arm. The scars, varying in depth, were ugly and horrifying, grotesquely clinging to his skin.
When your gaze falls on him, it's easy to be drawn to that burn scar.
Cheng Shiyun looked up in bewilderment.
The moment Cheng Shiyun met those light brown eyes, her face flushed bright red.
...
In the second semester of her first year of high school, Cheng Shiyun and Xie Shijin were deskmates for a brief month.
One day in early May, the temperature gradually rose.
Cheng Shiyun had a fight with her father and, in a fit of pique, didn't go home for lunch.
There was no air conditioning in the classroom, and Cheng Shiyun woke up from the heat after dozing off for a while.
Looking up, I realized that Xie Shijin had arrived at some point and was sleeping on the table.
Xie Shijin didn't go home for lunch; he would come to the classroom for a nap after lunch.
Cheng Shiyun timed it; usually, after half an hour of sleep, Xie Shijin would get up and start doing practice problems.
It's rolled up to death.
Cheng Shiyun's poem is even more beautiful.
She decided to stay up all night and get first place in her grade in the next monthly exam.
Xie Shijin's eyelashes are so long, hanging down on her eyelids like the feathers of a blackbird, they don't look real.
Cheng Shiyun certainly wouldn't do what's written in novels—poking Xie Shijin's eyelashes while he's asleep. They're not even close.
During her afternoon nap, Xie Shijin would take off the hearing aid that resembled a Bluetooth headset and place it next to her pencil case on the corner of the table.
Cheng Shiyun was very curious and secretly studied his hearing aid more than once.
Even when caught occasionally, Cheng Shiyun wouldn't feel embarrassed. She would crinkle her eyes, stick out her finger, and poke his arm: "Xie Shijin, move aside, I need to go to the bathroom."
*
Xie Shijin has become so thin that she looks almost unrecognizable.
Cheng Shiyun almost didn't recognize him.
He was like the snow of early spring, so thin that he would melt as soon as he fell to the ground.
It's like faded, peeling paint on a wall, shrouded in a layer of gloomy, lifeless air.
Cheng Shiyun's impression of Xie Shijin was not like this.
In the two years since her death, not only have things changed, but people have also become unrecognizable.
Xie Shijin walked quickly, climbing two steps at a time, his footsteps echoing in the empty corridor.
Having long legs is amazing!
Being able to climb two steps is quite an achievement!
Cheng Shiyun clenched her paws angrily and punched the air twice.
Why are you walking so fast? Are you afraid that this cute little kitten will catch up?
The steps were too high, so Cheng Shiyun used all four paws, her small body swaying as she climbed up, panting after each step.
The motion-activated lights on the second and third floors lit up one after another.
The warm light flickered, casting Xie Shijin's shadow in and out of focus.
Cheng Shiyun is exhausted.
She lay down on the ground, stuck out half of her little tongue, and turned into a cat pancake.
Is it okay for her to stage an accident to extort Xie Shijin?
Did Xie Shijin like cats?
She didn't know if Xie Shijin liked cats, but she did know that Xie Shijin was a germaphobe.
Anyone who's been to high school knows that clean boys are rarer than pandas.
Especially the boys in science classes, they always have a smell of sweat, foot odor, and spicy snacks.
Cheng Shiyun wanted to poke her lungs every day.
Xie Shijin was different; he only had a faint smell of laundry detergent on him, and his school uniform and shoes were always washed until they were almost white.
During the month they sat next to each other, Cheng Shiyun treated him like an air freshener, taking deep breaths of the air around him whenever she had the chance.
The quiz papers the school gave out were of poor quality. After one class, my little finger and the side of my wrist were covered in ink, and when I rubbed them, mud would come off.
After each class, Xie Shijin would go to the toilet to wash her hands, a feat so obsessive-compulsive that even Cheng Shiyun found it troublesome.
Xie Shijin is handsome and clean. Did Cheng Shiyun ever like him?
...I'll like it for a few minutes.
Please, she's just a little girl who likes reading romance novels; it's normal for her to like handsome guys.
Especially during their school years, boys like Xie Shijin, who are clean-cut and taciturn, wear school uniforms properly, are kind-hearted, and excel in both character and academics, have a special attraction for girls who are going through puberty. No matter which class they are in, they would be secretly admired by girls for several years.
Cheng Shiyun naturally developed feelings for him.
However, the main task of high school students is to study. Cheng Shiyun wants to get into a good university more than to date.
She wants to go to Tsinghua University and make her parents proud.
But now...
Cheng Shiyun subconsciously looked down at herself. She hadn't showered for several days, and the mud on her body was so thick it could make her legs bulge and her eyes widen. Her injured ear was still festering. She was as filthy as could be.
Even if Xie Shijin likes cats, he would probably go to a pet store to adopt a clean and beautiful kitten.
she?
……vomit!
Who threw the trash in the stairwell?!
Cheng Shiyun shook her front paws, which had accidentally stepped on a rotten egg.
She smelled almost exactly like this pile of garbage. If she tried to scam Xie Shijin, she'd be lucky if she wasn't grabbed by the neck and thrown far away.
Forget it, let's climb up first and see what happens.
Which floor is Xie Shijin going to? Why hasn't he arrived yet?
Just a second before Cheng Shiyun gave up, Xie Shijin stopped in his tracks.
arrive.
Cheng Shiyun withdrew her claws, not daring to follow any further. She hid on the corner platform between the third and fourth floors, where there was a pile of cardboard boxes.
The hallway was dimly lit, and she huddled into a small ball, afraid that Xie Shijin might not see her clearly and mistake her for a scurrying mouse and stomp on her.
She wasn't much bigger than a mouse to begin with.
She peeked out and saw Xie Shijin standing in front of the door of a resident on the fourth floor.
Upon seeing this, Cheng Shiyun's cat-like eyes widened in surprise.
That's her home.
The motion-activated lights in the hallway dimmed, and light from inside leaked through the cracks in the door, along with the aroma of food.
Shredded pork with garlic sauce, sweet and sour pork ribs, and pickled fish... these are all Cheng Shiyun's favorites.
Today is her birthday, and her dad cooked a lot of dishes.
The moonlight streamed into the corridor, casting a pale glow on the boy's profile.
"Did Xie Shijin come to see her parents?" Cheng Shiyun wondered.
She was very popular and got along well with everyone. After she died, I guess many of her classmates and friends visited her home.
Her dad is a great cook; Xie Shijin should like it.
But Cheng Shiyun waited for a long time, and Xie Shijin didn't knock on the door.
He stood in front of her house, tall and thin with slumped shoulders, his head hanging low, and wisps of hair covering his eyes, like a child who had been scolded and kicked out of the house by his parents, with a sense of homelessness and bewilderment.
Cheng Shiyun had never seen Xie Shijin like this before. In her memory, he always had a straight back, and even when sitting quietly, he exuded the clean and crisp neatness of a young man. She had never seen him look so decadent and vulnerable.
A tall shadow was cast on the wall. Cheng Shiyun stared at the shadow and suddenly saw his shoulder tremble slightly, as if it were being blown by the wind.
Then, it trembled a second time, a third time...
—It wasn't the wind, it was him trembling.
Then, Cheng Shiyun heard a sound.
A very soft, fragmented sob.
Xie Shijin is crying.
His cries were like the soft sobs of a dying bird, or like the broken, trembling breaths of a young animal whose vocal cords had been cut off.
He cried so hard.
Cheng Shiyun really wanted to go over and poke his arm like she used to when they were deskmates.
Then ask him.
Xie Shijin, who are you grieving for?
A note from the author:
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The year after his death, he found his classmate, whom he didn't know well, crying at his doorstep.
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