Su Jin was so shocked that she didn't even realize the call had already ended.
Lin Shi gently shook her body, "What's wrong? What happened?"
Su Jin then came to her senses and put away her phone.
"I need to go to the Central Hospital."
"What?"
“That was Shen Yanxiu’s agent. He said he was at the Central Hospital.”
Su Jin didn't have time to say anything more, she put on her coat and went out.
Upon arriving at the hospital's emergency room, the agent looked around anxiously at the entrance, and when she saw Su Jin, it was as if she had seen a savior.
"here!"
Su Jin walked quickly closer.
She looked inside and saw Shen Yanxiu lying on the hospital bed with his eyes closed and his left wrist wrapped in thick gauze.
He was completely lifeless; if it weren't for the instruments still beeping beside him, she would have thought he was dead.
She didn't know what to say at that moment; she was both sad and angry.
The agent apologized profusely, "Ms. Su, I know I shouldn't have asked you to come, but I'm really afraid of him... he just..."
He handed Su Jin a piece of paper, "Take a look at this."
Su Jin vaguely guessed what it was and flipped open the paper.
It read: "To my beloved parents"
"After several months apart, how can I bear to think of you? Ah Jin, I watched your awards ceremony. I wish you all the best in everything you want to do in the future. I am very sad that I couldn't be there. But I am too ashamed to face you in my current state, the love of my life."
"You said you hate winter, but I secretly love it, because that's when we fell in love, Ah Jin. Back then, the weather was cold and the dew was heavy, and my heart felt a warmth I'd never felt before."
"If you can, don't come to see me one last time, no matter who asks you. I don't want you to see my face now. We had moments of love."
Words cannot express my thoughts; please take good care of yourself.
“It must be a suicide note… When I went to find him, he wouldn’t answer the door no matter how much I knocked. He had been staying in a hotel for a while, so I had to ask the hotel staff to open the door.”
The agent seemed to be recalling the scene from that time.
"Then I saw... he had a lot of blood in the bathtub. The doctor said it was lucky that it was discovered early."
Su Jin's eyes welled up with tears. She wasn't made of wood or stone; how could she not feel such sincere love?
"May I come in?"
She put the paper away.
"Yes, yes."
Su Jin slowly pushed open the door, took a stool, and sat down beside his bed.
Upon closer inspection, Su Jin realized that he looked even more haggard than when she had seen him through the glass.
Perhaps due to excessive blood loss, her face was almost completely pale, almost blending into the white sheets.
She looked down and saw deep and shallow scars on her left arm, which was wrapped in thick gauze.
Su Jin felt sorry for him and wanted to cover him up.
Unexpectedly, this woke up Shen Yanxiu.
He slowly opened his eyes and saw Su Jin.
"...Am I dead?"
Otherwise, how could Ajin have appeared?
"No, he's still alive."
Shen Yanxiu frowned. "I'm sorry for making you come to see me."
Su Jin suddenly felt a surge of anger, but she couldn't take it out on the patient.
"Chen Yanxiu".
Strangely, he trembled when he heard himself call his name.
"Um, w-what's wrong?"
Su Jin stepped forward and took his uninjured hand.
"Why are you shaking? I just wanted to ask what you were thinking?"
Shen Yanxiu's chapped lips moved slightly; he didn't know what he was afraid of.
Perhaps Su Jin called his name when she broke up with him?
That kind of call to him, devoid of emotion and warmth.
Shen Yanxiu didn't want to hear her call him that again, because it would remind him of the feeling of being abandoned in that snowy field.
"Can you call me Yanxiu?"
This isn't an unreasonable request, Su Jin said, "Inkstone Repair."
"Thank you, you're always so kind to me."
He struggled to sit up and talk to her.
"You'd better lie down."
"No."
He didn't want to talk to her in such an embarrassing way.
Shen Yanxiu sat up, his left wrist aching terribly.
He couldn't understand how he could still be alive when he had clearly tried to kill him.
"I... didn't intend to get back together this way, and I didn't ask anyone to tell you..."
Su Jin nodded. "I know, you probably didn't listen to me and go see a psychologist, right?"
Shen Yanxiu's already pale face looked even paler.
"Yanxiu, I don't want to see you like this, do you understand?"
Shen Yanxiu lowered his head and nodded.
Su Jin took his right hand and said, "Yanxiu, you should go see a doctor. You're sick, but you'll get better."
Tears welled up in Shen Yanxiu's eyes.
"It won't get better, it won't get better."
Su Jin held his finger bones. When did he get so thin?
"Yanxiu, I don't want you to do this to yourself. It would make me very sad to see you like this."
When Shen Yanxiu heard her say that she was sad, she finally looked up.
He wanted to reach out and wipe her tears, but found that his right hand was on an IV drip and his left hand was too painful to move.
"Ajin, I'm sorry."
He struggled to raise his right hand and rubbed her face with the back of his hand.
"Ah Jin, is my fault for your retirement from the entertainment industry?"
No, why do you ask that?
Shen Yanxiu lowered his right hand. "...You want to get rid of me completely?"
Su Jin chuckled softly, "No, I really want to do my own thing, not because of anyone else."
Seeing her smile made Shen Yanxiu happy too.
"That's good, Ajin. Now that you have a new life, don't look back."
He meant to ignore him.
How could Su Jin be so heartless?
"Yanxiu, I don't want to see you in the hospital or the morgue next time. It would really make me sad."
She buried her face in her legs, her shoulders heaving.
Shen Yanxiu panicked. He didn't care about himself, but he couldn't bear to see Su Jin upset, especially since it was because of him.
"Ajin, I was wrong. I shouldn't have done that. Don't cry, don't cry."
He comforted her with dry words, explaining that he was actually incapable of loving anyone because he had never been loved; he was simply giving her what he considered the best out of instinct.
Su Jin looked at him with red eyes, "If you don't want me to cry, then don't do this to yourself. Look at your wrist."
Shen Yanxiu looked at his left arm, which was wrapped in gauze. Where the gauze did not cover, there were unsightly wounds of varying depths and crisscrossing patterns.
"sorry……"
"I don't want you to apologize. I just want you to get better."
Shen Yanxiu was silent for a moment, then suddenly asked her, "Can I hug you?"
Su Jin gently put her arm around his shoulder.
Upon receiving her hug, Shen Yanxiu smiled—a genuine, heartfelt smile.
He thought that if he died, he could only become a soul watching Su Jin cry, wandering around in the sky, unable to wipe away a single tear for her, unable to embrace her.
Su Jin opened the ward door and said to her agent, "I don't think he's in a good condition to work right now. Let him go to a scenic place to get treatment. Tell him I'll be thinking of him from my hometown."
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