Chapter 36 Chapter 36 After dinner, Jin Man hugged...
After dinner, Jin Man took the child home.
After the change of guardian, he was very happy and climbed up and down the stairs with great energy every day, feeding the chickens and ducks.
During the Mid-Autumn Festival, his elder brother took him to light firecrackers. They played for most of the day and were already very sleepy.
“Full!”
Jin Man tapped his forehead and said, "Call me uncle."
The child stared at him for a while, covered his face with his hands and giggled, but refused to shout, so Jin Man let him do what he wanted.
The moon in the sky was big and round, illuminating the path brightly.
There were many fireflies on the road, twinkling by the canal. The child slid down from him, holding his hand, and went to catch the fireflies.
Jin Man squatted down and let him play. Looking at the child's carefree look, he couldn't help but smile.
Jin Duoduo squatted by the canal and looked for a while, then suddenly ran back.
"Full, look."
Jin Duoduo loosened his little hand, and two fireflies flew out and landed in his palm. He flicked them gently, and the little bugs struggled desperately, flapping their wings and flew away.
The child looked up and asked: "Manman, where did it fly to?"
Jin Man thought for a moment and said, "It must have gone home."
Jin Duoduo seemed to understand, but he threw himself into Jin Man's arms, cupped his face and kissed him hard. He said shyly, "Manman, I love you so much. Let's go home too."
The Alpha's eyes were touched by the moonlight, and he was stunned for a long time, unable to recover.
The child tilted his head and asked in confusion: "Manman, what's wrong with you?"
The kiss was like a small seal, it landed on Alpha's cheek but was imprinted in his heart.
The wind blew up the loose hair on his forehead, revealing his smooth forehead.
He didn't know why, but he felt his chest swelling and his eyes sore. Maybe it was something he had been seeking for a long time, but one day, it suddenly told him in a very casual way, look, it's actually here.
There wasn't so much pain that it wouldn't make people ecstatic. It was just so ordinary, but it made him want to cry.
Life goes around in circles, the moon waxes and wanes, and without knowing when, we return to the starting point.
He thought back to the wishes he made as a child, so simple and ordinary, yet they kept changing as he grew older. He felt like fate simply wouldn't give him what he wanted, as if it was incredibly generous to others but harsh only to him.
It is very difficult to move forward, but it is easy to stay where you are.
His childhood was not very good, but Jin Man did not want to be a pessimistic person. He worked hard to live, work, get married, love his family, and hold on to the obsession of being happy. He wanted to look up and move forward, but he lost himself step by step.
When I finally faced the truth, I almost lost all hope.
In this world, do you have to be worthy of being loved to be loved, and worthy of being treated well to be treated well?
Who will measure what is worth it, what is good or bad?
Jin Man never told anyone, so no one could find out. He didn't like quarreling and he was afraid of being alone. He hoped someone would love him, find out that he was actually a good person, and say to him, "You are very good and great."
He had never received that kind of praise before, so he had always wanted it.
But no matter what he did, he couldn't get it. Instead, he tossed and turned and got hurt a lot. Until one day, he felt that being alone was nothing, and not being loved was not something he couldn't live without. Nothing is perfect, and no one is perfect. He stopped blaming himself, and the missing piece of his destiny was filled.
Jin Man raised his head. The full moon in the sky was shining, and fireflies were flying towards the deep blue night sky.
The child pointed to the full moon in the sky and said to him, "Manman, look, the moon is falling into your eyes."
He held Jin Man's hand with all his sincerity. His round little face was innocent and cute, and she liked him so naturally.
Jin Man pinched his cheek and thought: It would be great if I could see such beautiful moonlight every Mid-Autumn Festival.
He raised the corners of his mouth and smiled, poked the child's belly, picked him up amid his giggles, and slowly walked home.
The fence outside the yard rustled slightly with the wind, and the forest was silent. The child laughed and made noises, and gradually fell into a deep sleep.
His sweet dream was filled with the scent of osmanthus, rice cakes, and the gentle scent of Alpha.
Jin Man returned to the courtyard, where the shade of the trees cast a dark shadow. When he saw the slender figure at the door, he thought it was Yue Wei or Zhou Yu, and subconsciously called out, "Brother?"
The figure didn't move. Jin Man didn't move forward and asked cautiously, "Yue Wei?"
"Who is Yue Wei?"
Jin Man was suddenly struck by lightning. His heart was pounding, and it took him a while to react: "Lu Yanlin?"
The bean vines are green and have a faint fragrance.
The tall figure of the man walked out slowly, the moonlight slid down his brow and folded into a thin blade at the bridge of his nose. The coldness from his body brought a heavy sense of oppression, and Jin Manqing couldn't help but step back.
Lu Yanlin saw it, stopped, and reached out to brush off the two bean pod petals that had fallen on his coat.
"Full."
Jin Man was still holding Jin Duoduo in his arms, and seemed to want to wake up. He said coldly: "Talk to me later."
He held the child in his arms and quickly opened the fence, locking Lu Yanlin outside. He calmly walked into the house, locked the door, put Jin Duoduo on the bed, patted him gently, and coaxed him to sleep.
Jin Man waited until the child fell asleep before he mechanically withdrew his hand. He washed his face, stood at the window and looked out, and his gaze met the man's.
Jin Man took a deep breath, and his beating heart strangely calmed down.
He has experienced a lot and will no longer be so self-indulgent as to think that Lu Yanlin still has feelings for him.
There are many complex emotions in this world, but Lu Yanlin may not have anything related to love. Or if he does, he must be with someone of equal status, or like Xin Mihe, or like the pianist, with the same knowledge and temperament to fall in love.
Or maybe people in high positions are naturally loveless and free from worries.
Jin Man pushed the door open and came out, thinking, didn’t Lu Yanlin just come to see how badly he was doing?
It’s okay, see, it’s actually nothing.
In front of this man, he has used up all his insecurities and inferiority. He has no advantages as an Alpha. Without the cloak of love, he is just a very ordinary person. Lu Yanlin did not like him when he was young and was disdainful to understand him. Now that he has become more mature, he will not like him even more.
Jin Man opened the gate and said calmly, "What do you want?"
Lu Yanlin's face was indifferent, his eyes were slightly red, and a few streaks of red blood appeared in his usually deep and cold eyes.
He bent down and took out an exquisite paper box from the shadow of the fence. The handsome face of the Omega was like jade in the moonlight.
"Happy birthday."
Jin Man's expression changed slightly. He tried his best to restrain himself, but he couldn't stop the unspeakable pain in his heart.
The relative passed away on the Mid-Autumn Festival. He was emaciated, thin and tired when he passed away. He told him not to cry and to eat mooncakes, saying that he was just sleeping for a while. He did not complete that Mid-Autumn Festival, and Jin Man never celebrated his birthday again after that.
Lu Yanlin accompanied him to handle the funeral procedures and cut paper flowers for him to wear on his lapel. When he buried his relatives, Lu Yanlin was by his side and scattered the second shovel of soil.
From then on, no matter how busy he was, Lu Yanlin would accompany Jin Man to visit the graves and pay homage to him on Mid-Autumn Festival.
Even though Jin Man didn't say anything of gratitude, he knew that if Lu Yanlin hadn't been there, he would have had to put in a lot of effort to get through it.
But now that things have changed and people have changed, what does what we are doing now matter?
Jin Man pulled the corners of his mouth, his breathing became heavier, and his nose felt sore. He did not go back to Bincheng to pay homage to his relatives. He wondered if that bad-tempered old man would scold him.
Lu Yanlin looked at Jin Man in a daze, and he was a little stiff. He opened the small paper box containing the cake. The cake inside was missing a corner and was left in the cemetery. He said calmly:
"I've been there."
He and Lu Zhi waited there for a long time, thinking that Jin Man would come, but he didn't. Then Lu Zhi fell asleep. He didn't stay at home for long and ordered a new cake to come to Liuhe Town.
There was no complicated reason. He remembered that at this time of year every year, Jin Man was always in a bad mood. He wondered why he didn't go back and whether something had happened.
But that is not the case. Jin Man is very happy. He carries a bucket of water and walks through the fields and canals, with a puppy wagging its tail beside him.
He seemed to have forgotten what happened in Bincheng. He didn't go back to see the person who was once so important to him.
Probably never going back.
Lu Yanlin didn't want to admit this possibility. Just thinking about it made him feel as if there was a void in his heart. The slow and dense pain, like unraveling a cocoon, wove a web that made him feel helpless.
Jin Man's eyes were filled with guilt, and he whispered, "Have you been there?"
Lu Yanlin hummed: "I brought peanuts and wine."
Jin Man smiled awkwardly, rubbed his eyes, and was suddenly hugged by someone. The familiar body temperature passed through the thin summer clothes and reached him. He was stunned for a moment and tried to push away with his backhand, but he couldn't.
Jin Man was furious, but afraid of waking the child, he whispered, "Lu Yanlin!"
Lu Yanlin didn't let go. His palms pressed tightly against Alpha's shoulders, like a piece of iron that couldn't burn through, burning red marks on Alpha's body through his clothes. His warm breath fell on Jin Man's ears, revealing a gentleness that was contrary to his actions: "Manman, who is Yue Wei?"
Jin's mind was in a mess. He said coldly: "What does it have to do with you! We are divorced!"
"Now that we have a new one, we don't need the old one anymore, right? It's all gone."
The Alpha trembled under his palm. He opened his eyes and stared at Lu Yanlin blankly, as if he didn't know what was new or old?
But the words that came out of his mouth were the opposite: "No, I don't want anything, nothing at all."
Jin Man was suffocated for a moment. The soft and familiar breath on his lips carried an aggressiveness that was completely different from his elegant and cold appearance.
He broke free from the man's arms, looked at him stupidly, and then wiped his lips hard.
"asshole."
"Lu Yanlin, you bastard!"
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