Chapter 33
Humans are truly complex creatures.
Xu Zhuwen quietly ate her wontons, looking at Li Chi'an across from her, who had just finished showering, looked refreshed, had fair skin, and a gentle face. She felt a little relieved when she felt sorry for Li Chi'an after she was betrayed, because she and Qian Song had a stable relationship and were about to get married. Qian Song was tasteful, cultured, and had good energy and physical fitness.
I never imagined that just a few months later, I would become the one who needed to seek warmth from the other person. And the other person had already passed through the most painful stage of their life; now it was her turn to suffer.
She still wants to come to the other party for care.
A bowl of warm wontons warmed Xu Zhuwen's stomach and quietly opened the door to her heart.
After Li Chi'an finished cleaning up the two people's dishes, he brought out a pot of fruit tea from the kitchen. "We'll have roselle tea. It's a bit sour, so I added honey."
Xu Zhuwen curled the corner of her mouth slightly. "Was it added on purpose?"
“When you’re in a bad mood, eating something sweet will cheer you up.” Li Chi’an placed the purplish-red tea in front of Xu Zhuwen. “Try it.”
Xu Zhuwen picked up the beautiful teacup, drank half of it in one gulp, and then slowly recounted what had recently happened to her, "The things... I've saved them all. On my phone, on the USB drive. Transfer records, chat screenshots, those numbers..."
Every word she uttered was icy.
“That’s great.” Li Chi’an gently replied when Xu Zhuwen paused. “I couldn’t say anything before because you hadn’t made up your mind. Now I’m glad that you’ve finally thought it through and decided to end this relationship.”
In her opinion, Qian Song is the kind of person who can't change his ways!
A fifty-year-old who lives his life like this has lost the possibility of growth.
As for him, we can only let go, not change him.
After the tide of sorrow receded, in the ruins left behind, something new, carrying the dull pain of surviving a catastrophe, a cold anger, and a trace of bewilderment about where to go, began to flow in Xu Zhuwen's heart.
Seeing that she had fallen into a melancholy silence, Li Chi'an knew she needed quiet, so he picked up his phone from the coffee table and gently swiped it, the screen light dancing on her serene face.
"What are you looking at?" Xu Zhuwen suddenly turned her head and asked.
"I was looking at a travel app, and there was a '7-day round-trip flight to XZ, limited-time offer for the last 3 hours' deal. I think the price-performance ratio is okay."
Li Chi'an turned his phone screen towards Xu Zhuwen. On the promotional page with its light blue background, the azure holy lake and pristine snow-capped mountains were visually striking. "Order now for a group of three and get a huge discount. Direct flights to Lhasa, including the Potala Palace, Yamdrok Lake, and Jokhang Temple..."
"Are you going on a trip?" Xu Zhuwen asked in surprise.
Li Chian explained gently, "Zuizui has gotten to know my mom better recently, so I can go out alone to clear my head and recover my energy."
"I've never heard you mention this before."
"I plan to share the details with you after finalizing the itinerary," Li Chian said. "I wasn't sure if I could go before, but I confirmed it in the last few days."
"I really want to go out and relax."
"How about it? Shall we go? You can clear your mental cache with one click."
Xu Zhuwen was stunned for a moment, then quickly reached out and pressed her hand on Li Chi'an's phone screen, her movement so fast it was as if she were trying to suppress a fleeting thought. "Reason, don't tempt me! If I act impulsively, I really will go with you."
“Go if you want to,” Li Chi’an laughed. “It’s not like you can’t leave. You have so much freedom.”
Xu Zhuwen glared at Li Chian, her voice rising eight octaves, with a hint of exasperation, "I've been very busy lately, with work and family matters. I'm planning to tidy up my apartment and move in in a few days."
Xu Zhuwen has her own small apartment, which had been vacant for a long time.
Now that she wants to move out of the rented apartment and break up with Qian Song, she wants to move back to her own place, but that apartment has been unoccupied for a year or two and needs to be cleaned up first.
This is why she came to stay at Li Chi'an's house. She could have gone to a hotel, but she felt more at ease with Li Chi'an.
"Sis, how long has it been since you last visited your house? It's more war-damaged than a battlefield! Can you even walk into that place? Why don't you come with me to XZ and have some fun? After we've had our fill and are happy, we can come back, clean up the house properly, and start a new life. Wouldn't that be wonderful?!"
Xu Zhuwen pointed to the suitcase at her feet, "We can't just fly to LS with this little bit of 'belonging,' can we? I need to build up my base first before I can leave with peace of mind."
Li Chian quietly looked at Xu Zhuwen. She actually felt that Xu Zhuwen was in a very bad state and very confused. That's why she suggested that Xu Zhuwen go out for a trip to calm down. That's why she decisively planned to take Xu Zhuwen with her to "escape". But she didn't expect that Xu Zhuwen was still impatiently pressing the "brake".
She forced a smile and sighed softly to herself, "Alright, I'll go with you to tidy up the house and go back to take a look, okay?"
“Okay…” Xu Zhuwen quieted down slightly, her eyes looking as if the desolate emptiness after a mess had finally found a concrete anchor. “There’s so much stuff piled up at home, I want to clean it up properly.”
The next day, after Li Chian sent her son to kindergarten, Xu Zhuwen, at her suggestion, arranged for a housekeeper through a domestic service platform to be on her way to the small apartment.
"I don't want anyone to come into my house." Xu Zhuwen sat in the passenger seat of Li Chi'an's car, still worrying about the housekeeper coming to the house later.
“Since we’ve already made the appointment, let’s see how well the cleaning lady cleans your little apartment until it’s spotless,” Li Chi’an said patiently. “Trust me, cleaning staff these days are really good.”
Xu Zhuwen pouted.
Li Chi'an smiled and offered no further explanation.
She knew her cousin well; sometimes, she had strange persistence and dedication in certain areas.
Soon, the two arrived at Xu Zhuwen's small apartment, which had been vacant for two or three years.
The moment the door was pushed open, a peculiar smell, a mixture of dust, camphor, and decaying old paper, wafted out.
Xu Zhuwen was even a little timid, and hesitated for a second outside the door before going in.
The scene before them confirmed Li Chi'an's precise and ruthless description of "battle damage".
There was barely any room to step in the living room; as far as the eye could see, time seemed to have frozen inside a dusty amber.
Expired magazines piled up in the corner like a precarious little mountain; a bulky, outdated desktop computer monitor lay silently on the floor; several large, dusty cardboard boxes were haphazardly stacked, still bearing blurry moving logos; old clothes, books, and oddly shaped, useless trinkets whose origins I couldn't recall... Together they formed a silent mountain of trash, silently proclaiming the owner's long-term absence and complete disregard for the concept of "decluttering."
Li Chi'an frowned, his gaze sweeping over the "battlefield" with surprise. "Your accumulated skill is truly... astounding."
She hadn't been to Xu Zhuwen's small apartment for many years and had no idea that her apartment was filled with so many old things. Of course, when she came to this small apartment before, she had mentioned many times that her cousin should get rid of the useless things, but the other party still hoarded them as she pleased.
Li Chian's tone was calm, but Xu Zhuwen's cheeks were slightly flushed.
"I haven't been here in a long time," she could only offer a dry explanation. "I've been thinking about tidying up... but there's just too much to do."
Ding-dong—
The doorbell rang.
"It must be Auntie." Li Chian turned around and opened the door.
Two young men, dressed in matching housekeeping company uniforms and carrying professional cleaning tools, came in through the door.
"Why is it a man?" Xu Zhuwen frowned.
"Didn't you want to clean the windows?" Li Chi'an had a lot of experience hiring cleaners, so he actually had a better impression of this young man.
The two young men took out shoe covers from their bags, and one of them took out a mask. They said to Xu Zhuwen in a gentle voice, "Boss, we both graduated from university with a major in home economics. We have a lot of practical experience after graduation. Please trust our professional abilities."
Xu Zhuwen's expression was still a bit off, but she didn't say anything more. "Alright, come in. I'll tell you later what not to touch."
"Don't worry, boss, we're only responsible for cleaning." The two young housekeepers maintained their professional ethics despite Xu Zhuwen's displeasure.
Xu Zhuwen's expression gradually softened.
Although they looked young, they were indeed as experienced as they claimed, and quickly got to work, sweeping and mopping at the same time, causing the dust to jump and swirl in panic in the beams of light coming through the window.
Soon, the ground gradually revealed its original color.
But this is only the surface. After removing those seemingly space-consuming items, the truly chilling details gradually come to light.
Xu Zhuwen directed two cleaners to lift the heavy desktop monitor, revealing what was underneath: a hardcover picture book with a still-brightly colored cover.
Li Chi'an glanced at it casually and saw that it was a collection of sample photos for wedding photography. Her pupils dilated rapidly. She didn't expect that her cousin had previously selected wedding videos with others!
Driven by curiosity, she blurted out, "Who is it?"
Xu Zhuwen squatted down and picked up the film collection. "I watched it with Qian Song before."
Looking at the radiant smiles of the two newlyweds in the sample photos in her hand, she felt as if she were covered by a thick layer of dust, like being shrouded in the fog of death.
Bringing this up here today seems ironic and absurd.
Some negative emotions require a period of time to clear up.
Looking at the disappointment and coldness on Xu Zhuwen's face, Li Chi'an didn't offer any words of comfort, nor did he touch the pile of rubbish that represented the "past." Instead, he bent down and forcefully scooped out an object from the dusty, unidentifiable pile of old things beside him: a heavy, clumsy electronic perpetual calendar. Half of the transparent film was still torn off on the clock face, and the once-smooth screen underneath was now covered with a thick layer of grease and grime.
Do you still want this?
"I don't want it anymore." Xu Zhuwen turned her head to look at the electronic perpetual calendar in Li Chi'an's hand, and at the same time, casually threw the photo album sample in her hand into the trash can.
Unbeknownst to Li Chi'an, the electronic perpetual calendar she casually tossed into the trash can struck Xu Zhuwen's fragile nerve endings like a heavy hammer.
This was an anniversary gift that Qian Song gave them on their dating anniversary.
The thought of "anniversary" was like a needle chilled to ice, precisely piercing through the thin layer of self-deception still wrapped around Xu Zhuwen's heart.
Her eyes suddenly stung, not because she still had feelings for Qian Song, but because she felt a violent nausea and sorrow at her past stubborn and almost foolish investment.
That digital clock, originally bought to mark the countdown to their anniversary, was now being pulled out by Li Chi'an like a rusty, dull blade, ripping open her mask of self-repair, leaving it bleeding, yet also relieved.
However, as more and more things were decluttered, Xu Zhuwen also discovered that after the sharp pain, there was an indescribable sense of relief.
She took a deep breath, the dusty air making her throat itch, but miraculously clearing away the last bit of useless tightness in her chest.
The veil of self-deception has been lifted, revealing the truth and the light.
When she later decluttered, she wasn't as attached to those items as she used to be, because each item represented an irreplaceable part of her past.
Li Chian noticed that Xu Zhuwen's tone was becoming increasingly decisive when she said "no".
She even saw her cousin obliviously step over the pile of things that used to be her "treasures" and walk towards the huge old wardrobe in the bedroom.
The cabinet door slid open with difficulty, making a rough, scraping sound.
She hurriedly pulled out a large pile of clothes, many of which still had their tags on and were either conservative in style or outdated.
She threw them all into the huge black garbage bag in the foyer.
"These are all useless now." Her voice was not loud, but exceptionally clear, like announcing a solemn cleanup. "They'd just be piles of dust anyway."
Xu Zhuwen's gaze fell on one of the expensive cashmere coats, so new that she had no memory of it, but the date on the receipt was glaringly clear.
She stretched out her finger and pointed at the number forcefully. "This cost me a whole month's salary."
Li Chi'an walked over, glanced at the tag, then scanned the other piles of tags, quickly did some mental calculations, and let out a laugh, "Goodness, at this price, at least two hundred hours of youth have been sold off for nothing."
There was no mockery in her voice, only a calm realism that brought Xu Zhuwen to a complete state of mind.
This harsh assessment, ironically, made the resolve to declutter sharper and firmer than ever before.
The cleanup work is like pulling out those stale, barbed thorns embedded in the flesh and blood of life.
Xu Zhuwen no longer hesitated, her movements carrying an almost cathartic force.
Two young men deftly carried away the heavy boxes of old books.
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