Chapter 56
The face looked somewhat familiar, but in her haste, she couldn't remember who it was.
“Of course.” She turned to the title page and suddenly noticed that he was also holding a book, a hardcover edition of *Dark Currents*. “You’re reading my first book?”
“I have read all of your books, and I really like your depictions of family relationships,” Zhou Mingyuan said with a smile. “Especially the way the protagonist maintains his dignity during a marital crisis, it’s very powerful.”
Li Chi'an sensed something was amiss.
Most readers only became aware of her because of recent news; very few have actually read her earlier works. "May I ask who you are?"
“Zhou Mingyuan, a professor of psychology at the Normal University.” The man took the signed book. “Actually, I’m currently writing a paper on post-traumatic growth, and your experience is very valuable for research.”
Li Chi'an subconsciously glanced in Chen Zui's direction and found him and Yu Shizheng staring intently at Zhou Mingyuan. "I'm afraid I don't have time right now..."
“Of course I understand.” Zhou Mingyuan politely stepped back. “This is my business card. If you’re interested in chatting, you’re welcome anytime.”
The gentleman, dressed in a refined manner, politely put down his business card after being refused by Li Chi'an, and left with two books that Li Chi'an had signed.
Li Chian stuffed the business card into his bag and continued signing autographs, but couldn't help wondering if he had seen this person somewhere before.
The book signing event ended in the evening.
On the way back, Yu Shi drove, and Li Chi'an held his son in the back seat. The son was unusually quiet.
"Are you tired?" Li Chian asked.
Chen Zui shook his head, and after a long while, he finally spoke, "Mom, there are so many people today, why do they want your autograph?"
“They all came to see me,” Li Chian said. “People who like my work want to see me, and collecting signed books is also very meaningful.”
"What about books that aren't signed?"
"It's also very meaningful."
"Then why do we have to wait in line for so long?" Chen Zui witnessed firsthand how long the readers had been waiting.
“The significance of collecting unsigned books lies in their content, which can help people resolve their confusion and inspire their thinking.” Even though Chen Zui didn’t quite understand, Li Chi’an wouldn’t give a perfunctory answer. “Signed books have an additional layer of personal significance, like if Uncle Bei Mao came to Zhuhai, wouldn’t you want to see him?”
The "Mi Xiaoquan" series written by Bei Mao is Chen's youngest friend's favorite book right now.
"Yes," Chen answered loudly. "Mom, I know."
Yu Shi joined the mother and son's conversation, "There was a man wearing a blue shirt today, do you know him?"
Li Chi'an was surprised when he noticed Zhou Mingyuan, saying, "I don't know him. He said he's a psychology professor at the Normal University."
"No wonder." Yu Shi nodded. "He seems like an academic. Does he really like your book?"
“He said he’s read all my books,” Li Chi’an laughed. “I never expected to have a reader like him.”
“There definitely will be.” Since meeting Li Chi’an, Yu Shi had read all of her works. “Your book is very well written.”
Li Chi'an covered his face, "This is terrible!"
"What's wrong?" Yu Shi asked with a smile.
“I don’t think I wrote well at the beginning,” Li Chi’an said awkwardly. “At that time, I had just graduated from university. I was young and fearless, and full of confidence. The editor of the publishing house said I could write, so I wrote.”
Back then, I thought I was a genius and that my writing was excellent.
Looking back now, several years later, "I really wish I could destroy those books."
"What?" Yu Shi laughed uncontrollably. "It was great. You were only in your early twenties back then. It was already amazing that you could write like that. What were we doing after graduating from university? My classmates played video games all day, while I traveled around taking photos. Compared to you, we were simply no match."
"Thank you, but I'm not comforted at all," Li Chi'an said. "Everyone has different strengths."
“You like your current work because you’ve been growing over the years,” Yu Shi continued to comfort him. “You need to give yourself room to grow, just like how we all know we were silly and didn’t know anything when we were young, but we don’t want to destroy our childhood selves.”
“You’re right.” Li Chi’an’s initial embarrassment suddenly dissipated. “We have to accept our past selves, our imperfect selves.”
"That's right, it's because we are all imperfect that we have the potential for lifelong growth."
"I'm being really stupid right now."
Chen, the youngest, suddenly blurted out a sentence that startled both Yu Shi and Li Chi'an.
Li Chi'an hugged his son tightly, "Baby, why did you say that?"
The neon lights outside the car window cast shifting shadows on Chen Zui's face. "I'm really stupid now. I can't read many books, and I'm often disobedient."
Li Chi'an felt as if her heart was being torn apart. Although she tried very hard to protect her son's self-esteem, he still couldn't help but doubt himself under the intentional or unintentional negativity of those around him.
“Baby, listen to me.” Li Chi’an cupped her son’s face in her hands. “You’re not stupid. It’s normal that you can’t read many books because you’re only six years old. When I was six, I was just learning to read and I couldn’t read books either. Also, you don’t have to listen to everything anyone says, understand?”
Chen remained silent.
Li Chi'an stared into his eyes and said, "You are your mother's pride, understand?"
Chen Zui nodded gently on her shoulder, his warm breath seeping through her clothes.
...
The group found a Western restaurant near Xiyuan to eat.
When the pizza arrived, Chen's youngest friend became engrossed in eating rice.
“He’s really hungry.” Yu Shi refilled Chen Zui’s cup with water and then asked Li Chi’an, “How did you feel on stage today?”
"I was so nervous," Li Chian said. "The photographer kept snapping pictures of me, and the flash and studio lights made me very uncomfortable."
As a media professional, she is quite confident in her public speaking abilities, but she still worries about being criticized.
After all, this is Xianghai City, which is nearby.
People tend to be more critical and demanding of those they get too close to.
"You're nervous about this?" Yu Shi asked in surprise. "You're the photographer yourself."
“But I’m a model today,” Li Chi’an laughed. “I’m afraid the photos will turn out ugly. I’m very uncomfortable being in front of the camera. Especially with the camera right in front of me, I don’t know whether to look at it or not. When I’m so conflicted and hesitant, I can’t concentrate and it’s easy for me to make mistakes.”
"Don't worry, you have a very photogenic face," Yu Shi said confidently. "You'll look good no matter how you're photographed."
Li Chi'an glanced sideways at Yu Shi, "You do offer emotional value."
“I’m telling the truth,” Yu Shi said helplessly. “You’re too much of a perfectionist.”
"I'm sorry, I'm not mentally strong enough to be that relaxed yet," Li Chian sighed. "I believe I will be in the future."
“Everything takes time,” Yu Shi said. “At least you got through today smoothly and performed well.”
“I also think I did pretty well.” Li Chi’an stroked his son’s head. “Although I was nervous, the sky didn’t actually fall down.”
“Sincerity is the ultimate weapon,” Yu Shi said with a smile. “I am very proud of your performance today.”
Chen, the youngest child, hugged his mother's neck and said, "Mom, I think you did a great job today. I thought you were proud of me."
Li Chi'an's heart felt as if a warm current had rushed in, warming his entire body.
"Thank you." Li Chi'an affectionately brought his face close to his son's, "Snap, baby."
The youngest child, Chen, obediently followed his mother and had the stickers applied to his left cheek and then his right cheek.
Li Chi'an turned to look at Yu Shi, who was driving the car very steadily in the front seat, and gradually felt more at ease.
Some people are good for much more than what is apparent on the surface.
She also seizes every moment of tension, growing through each experience.
The fear of flash photography will gradually diminish.
It was then that she realized that nervousness was instinctive, and that expressing emotions in accordance with them was more sincere.
...
That evening, Li Chi'an sat in his study with Zhou Mingyuan's business card and the manuscript of "Unexpected Joy" spread out in front of him.
On the computer screen was a cover design that the publisher had sent: a silhouette of a woman standing on the edge of a cliff, with the rising sun behind her.
She was just discussing the upcoming event arrangements with her editor, Jin Jin.
This was her first book signing event after the release of her new book, "Unexpected Joy," and as it came to a close, all the staff involved felt that it was a great success.
She originally had three more autograph sessions planned, in Shenzhen, Guangzhou, and Shanghai.
However, due to the success of this first book signing event, partners in Chengdu, Hangzhou and other places have also contacted the publisher and editors.
Just as she was preparing to review the day's activities alone, she found a new email in her inbox.
She opened her email and found her inbox overflowing with media interview requests and letters from readers.
One email, titled "A Few Explorations on the Trauma Descriptions in Your Book," caught her attention.
Sender: Zhou Mingyuan.
Li Chi'an opened the email and found that the professor was indeed as he had said on the spot. He had not only read all of her works carefully, but also raised several profound literary questions.
She was halfway through her reply when she suddenly heard a soft knock on the door.
"Come in."
Chen Zui pushed open the door, stood in the doorway holding a pillow, and said, "Mom, I... can't sleep."
Li Chi'an closed his laptop. "What's wrong? Weren't you sleepy just now?"
"I can't fall asleep even when I close my eyes." Chen Zui shook his head and walked to his mother's side.
Behind Li Chi'an, he hugged his son tightly, asking, "Were you too excited playing during the day?"
"I don't know." Chen's youngest child's gaze fell on the business card on the table. "Mom, what's this?"
"business card."
“A business card represents a person’s personal information.” Li Chi’an tried to explain in a way his son could understand, “For example, the name tag you wear at school, people can tell your name just by looking at the words on it.”
"Zhou Mingyuan." Chen Zui reached out and picked up the business card on the table, examining it carefully. "Is this your reader, the professor at the Normal University?"
"How did you know?" Li Chi'an was extremely surprised.
“You mentioned it to Uncle Yu in the car,” Chen Zui said generously. “I remember. Why did this professor give you his business card?”
"He wants to invite me to do an academic research project."
"So, do you want to meet him?"
"I don't know yet." Li Chi'an shook his head. "We'll see. If we can cooperate, we'll meet; if not, we won't."
"Oh." Chen Zui looked up at Li Chi'an, "Where are the snacks Uncle Yu Shi bought for me today?"
“It’s in the cupboard,” Li Chi’an asked. “Are you hungry?”
"Okay." Chen Zui nodded. "Can I eat it?"
She has a rule that her son is not allowed to eat before going to bed.
"So you want some snacks?" Li Chi'an chuckled and took his son's hand. "What do you want to eat?"
"Mom, take them all down, I'll choose myself." Standing in front of the cabinet, Chen was so eager that his mouth was practically watering.
Li Chi'an opened the cabinet door and took out the snacks. "You can't eat puffed food, but you can eat things high in protein and fiber."
"I'll eat pork jerky and milk," said the youngest child, Chen, quickly picking out the foods that met his requirements.
"Can."
This large bag of snacks was bought by the two of them at the supermarket while she was coordinating with her staff after they finished eating.
He secretly bought it without telling her right away, and only confessed when he got home and could no longer hide it.
Fortunately, as a fitness enthusiast, Yu Shi is also very particular about snacks. Most of the snacks he buys for his youngest son are made with good ingredients and have less fussy technology.
Among them, pork jerky, beef jerky, chicken sticks, and milk/yogurt were the most purchased items.
Of course, there are also many other fruits.
"Honey, did you have fun playing with Uncle Yu Shi?"
Chen, the youngest child, was eating snacks, while Li Chi'an sat beside him, keeping him company.
"I'm so happy," Chen Zui nodded. "Uncle Yu Shi is so good to me."
"So, how do you think he compares to your father?" Li Chian asked tentatively.
“I think…” Chen Zui tilted his head and thought, “I think he and my dad are both very good.”
"You water-cutting master."
"ah?"
"It's nothing," Li Chi'an said with a smile. "I said you're absolutely right, your father and Uncle Yu Shi are both very good people."
Chen Li was different in his son's heart, Li Chi'an sighed softly to himself.
However, she had no intention of badmouthing Chen Li in front of her son. Even if he had many faults, the fact that he was her son's father was irreplaceable and unchangeable.
Moreover, she also knew that speaking ill of her father in front of her child would only hurt the child and would have no other purpose.
After quietly watching his son finish his meal and making sure he brushed his teeth, Li Chi'an ruffled his son's hair. "Come on, I'll stay with you until you sleep."
Lying on Chen Zui's small bed, Li Chi'an turned on his phone and softly played a white noise lullaby.
Her son curled up beside her, initially tossing and turning, but soon his breathing gradually became steady.
Once he was completely asleep, Li Chi'an gently got up, pulled back the curtains on the bay window, and moonlight streamed in through the gaps, casting a silvery line on his son's face.
Li Chian recalled a passage from "Unexpected Joy": "The pain that fate inflicts will eventually become the soil that nourishes new life. Those who try to destroy us will ultimately make us more complete."
Not all wounds have a cure.
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