Chapter 34 May 26th is an auspicious day for marriage.
May 25th.
In early summer, the weather turns hot, the grass and trees in the courtyard grow lush and green, and the summer heat is gradually rising, with insects buzzing.
This day was the day before Shen Xi and Xie Chengyan's wedding.
The Shen Mansion has been decorated, with crimson brocade hanging from the eaves. To add to the festive atmosphere, several new twin lotus flowers have been transplanted into the pond, graceful and swaying, ready to bloom.
The entire household was filled with increasing joy, but the person in charge, Shen Xi, couldn't muster any enthusiasm for the upcoming wedding.
A ray of the setting sun shone in as she leaned against the window, gazing intently at the wedding dress in a daze.
Tomorrow is the wedding day, and she has been racking her brains these past few days, still unsure of how to face Xie Chengyan.
She used to regard him only as Wen Lang's elder brother, whom she respected and relied on. Now that he has become her husband, she feels both resentment and hatred towards him, yet she has no choice but to obey.
They struggled to even have a normal conversation, let alone get along as husband and wife.
She was really troubled by this.
Lost in thought, I suddenly heard a clear bird song.
Looking back, I saw under the eaves that the catalpa trees were sprinkling food for the shrike.
Shen Xi watched for a moment, and after the shrike had eaten and drunk its fill, he said, "Its wounds have long since healed, why haven't you let it go yet?"
Perhaps because they were fed every day, it was quite affectionate towards the two of them. As soon as it heard Chen Xi's voice, it immediately flapped its wings and flew to the windowsill, stood there, stared at her with its big, copper bell-like eyes, and occasionally chirped a couple of times in a coquettish manner.
Qingqiu walked towards her, pretending to complain, "Miss, you don't know, it's not that I won't let it go, it's clearly that this little guy is stubbornly refusing to leave."
Upon hearing this, Shen Xi lowered her eyes, bent her index finger and lightly flicked the shrike's round forehead: "What's wrong? I'm about to leave home, but you're acting like a spoiled brat and refusing to go. What are you trying to do?"
After being flicked so lightly, the shrike turned its head in a good-natured manner, but did not fly away.
When Qingqiu saw it, she found the shrike really amusing and complained to Shenxi with a smile: "This little thing has been spoiled rotten by you, Miss. Not only is it not afraid of people, but it's also a picky eater! It gets tired of eating the same bird food after a while, and if you insist on feeding it to it, it won't even touch it. I think it's almost like a human."
This was nothing special; it was just a casual remark.
What was said unintentionally may have been taken to heart by the listener.
Shen Xi paused slightly, suddenly realizing something, and was stunned for a moment until the shrike affectionately nuzzled her finger with its head before she came back to her senses.
Over such a long period of time, the shrike only grew in size, but not in temperament. Instead, it became as docile as a common house sparrow, even more intelligent, and not afraid of people at all.
"Everyone says the shrike is a bird of prey, but you don't resemble one at all."
As Shen Xi spoke, she reached out and picked up a long feather that had accidentally fallen off when it flapped its wings, and played with it in her hand.
Qingqiu happened to walk into the room: "Isn't this perfect? If it were too fierce and kept pecking people, how could you have kept it for so long?"
Shen Xi frowned and shook his head: "If it's raised to be so docile, how will it survive when it flies away in the future?"
"Why worry about that, young lady? Why not just keep it by your side? It's so clever, it'll be a perfect companion to amuse you in your free time."
Shen Xi twirled the feathers in her palm, then sighed softly, as if remembering something, "It seems I still don't know how to raise birds."
Qingqiu was puzzled by this seemingly random remark. She glanced at the shrike's glossy feathers and robust physique, wondering, "But it's clearly very well cared for."
The shrike couldn't understand their words and was looking down under its wings.
Shen Xi stared at it blankly. Its daily comfort had eroded its natural instincts. How could it be considered good?
Are we to let it be trapped in this high-walled mansion forever, just like ourselves?
This is not the place for it to stay.
Shen Xi waved her hand to sweep the shrike away, preventing it from stopping in front of the window again, and gave a calm instruction.
"Take it outside the city and release it."
But Qingqiu said, "Miss, we tried it before, and it flew back on its own in just one day."
But this time, Shen Xi was determined. Her cold gaze swept over the shrike that had flown back to the treetop: "I'm getting married tomorrow. Tell everyone in the manor that if this shrike flies back, don't feed it. Throw it out immediately."
Sure enough, she still disliked birds.
Qingqiu didn't understand why Shenxi's expression suddenly changed, but she didn't ask any further questions.
Tomorrow is the wedding day, so it's understandable that the girl is in a bad mood. Qingqiu patted the shrike's head with pity and followed her wishes to take it out.
The birdsong finally faded away. Shen Xi leaned out of the window, closed her eyes, and looked up. The last rays of the setting sun shone on her cheeks, still warm, but unfortunately, they couldn't penetrate the room, which remained cold and damp.
Her long eyelashes trembled slightly. When Shen Xi opened her eyes and looked back, all that remained on the table was the long feather that she had been playing with in her hand.
The shrike is gone forever.
*
That night, the Shen residence was brightly lit.
Thinking that Shen Xi would be getting married tomorrow, Shen Guangjun was still worried and called her over.
"Your wedding is tomorrow, and there are some things your mother should tell you, but she and Chen'er only returned to the manor this evening. They are exhausted and went to bed early, so I can only say these things myself."
Shen Guangjun's shoulders were slightly hunched, and his temples were graying. In the firelight, one could vaguely see the vicissitudes of his years.
"Xi'er, after you get married, you will no longer be a child. You must not have the same temper you used to have with Chen'er." Shen Guangjun carefully instructed her, "The Duke's mansion is a high-ranking family. You must be careful in your interactions with the people inside, and never make things difficult for your husband."
In the end, it was all just empty talk. Shen Guangjun had never been particularly close to her in the past, and no matter how earnestly he pleaded with her that night, she remained unmoved.
Therefore, Shen Xi simply lowered her eyes, listened in silence, and didn't take it to heart.
Shen Guangjun stopped talking after speaking for a long time until his voice became dry, and took a sip of tea to moisten his throat.
Suddenly, Shen Xi looked up and asked, "Father, do you love Mother?"
Shen Guangjun paused, seemingly remembering something, put down his teacup, sighed wistfully, and his voice sounded inevitably old.
"At our age, what's the point of talking about love or not? You're young, so you inevitably value love and affection too much, but how many couples in the world can simply live their whole lives on those two words?"
"Over time, it's like eating the same food every day. Even if you like it, you'll get tired of it. In the end, love becomes the least important thing."
Shen Xi seemed thoughtful, blinked, and asked, "Are all couples like this?"
Shen Guangjun nodded subconsciously: "Of course. As long as one is a mortal, regardless of wealth or status, there are no exceptions."
Upon hearing his answer, without much hesitation, Shen Xi's gaze hardened, and he uttered a confident deduction.
"Therefore, Xie Chengyan will also do so."
The candlelight reflected in her pupils, casting a sliver of light.
Shen Guangjun then realized that the topic was not quite right, but assumed that Shen Xi was still a young girl, innocent and naive, and inevitably troubled by love.
He sighed softly, "I know you love Xie Chengyan, but things have come to this, so don't dwell on the past. Xie Chengyan is quite capable. If you marry him and manage the household affairs carefully, he won't treat you badly."
Shen Xi did not respond. She lowered her eyes, and her thin eyelids concealed the helpless gaze that Shen Guangjun was giving her, as well as the strange emotions in her eyes.
In the end, Shen Guangjun still knew nothing.
Her gaze gradually darkened, and the pent-up frustration in her heart grew stronger with each word Shen Guangjun wrote, like a thick fog obscuring her ever-vigilant rationality.
Finally, Shen Xi raised her eyes, interrupted Shen Guangjun, and softly said, "Father, actually I don't necessarily like Wen Lang that much."
Shen Guangjun paused, somewhat taken aback: "Then you...?"
Shen Xi's voice was soft, but it sounded particularly heavy in the night: "I'm just not reconciled. Why is it that everyone else has someone backing them up? Shen Wan and Shen Wangchen have you and Mother, and all the servants in the mansion respect and honor them, but I have nothing."
Upon hearing Shen Xi mention family matters, Shen Guangjun's expression darkened, and he tried to stop her: "Xi'er, why are you saying these things..."
But Shen Xi didn't listen to him. Instead, she continued talking to herself, her eyes fixed on him, bright and clear like a child's, striking straight to the heart.
"Having lived in the Shen family for so many years, it's a bit ridiculous. Whenever I encounter difficulties, the people who help me are never my parents or brothers, but always Wen Lang, an outsider."
“Over the years we’ve known each other, he’s helped me a lot with everything, big and small. Wen Lang is an excellent person. No matter who caused this situation, I’m the one who has wronged him. I only took advantage of him and betrayed his sincere heart. I know it’s despicable, but Father, I want to live a good life, and I have no other choice.”
Shen Guangjun's expression stiffened, then he said, "Xi'er, I am a man, and I cannot interfere in matters of the inner quarters."
Shen Xi smiled calmly: "That's right, how could I forget? You were always like this when Mother was alive."
"Shen Xi!"
Upon hearing her mention Lin Anrong, Shen Guangjun's face darkened completely. He shouted angrily and slammed his hand on the table, causing the candlelight to flicker.
Seeing his fury, Shen Xi gave a self-deprecating laugh and remained silent.
The atmosphere in the room froze instantly. Shen Guangjun slowly withdrew his fist, belatedly realizing his loss of composure, and then softened his tone.
“I know you have grievances in your heart, but that’s how family life is. It’s either you or me who has to compromise. If we take every single thing to heart, how can we have a harmonious family?”
Perhaps influenced by her emotions, Shen Xi couldn't help but speak out tonight, revealing a question that had been suppressed for many years: "Father, for so many years, you haven't even dared to mention Mother once. You must be afraid that Mother will get angry and affect the appearance of harmony and prosperity in your family, right?"
Unexpectedly, Shen Xi did not learn his lesson and mentioned Lin Anrong again and again. Shen Guangjun was taken aback at first, and then his anger surged: "Shen Xi! What are you thinking tonight? Why do you have to make me angry? I just want to have a good talk with you."
He suddenly stood up, flicked his sleeve, and the candlelight flickered violently in the wind. Shen Guangjun's chest heaved as he suppressed his anger.
Unexpectedly, Shen Xi was not deterred by his dark expression. She watched him rage with unusual calm and continued to speak, each question piercing his heart.
"Now that Mother is gone, Father doesn't dare to mention Mother. Is it because of guilt? Because Father also knows that Xie Chengyan is not a good match, nor is he the one I love. But even if he doesn't get a wedding date from the Emperor, you will still make me marry him. You won't give up the reputation of the Shen family."
Shen Xi paused, her lips pressed into a tight line, and after a moment, she opened her mouth again.
“When your mother passed away, she destroyed all her belongings, refusing to leave behind even the slightest memory. You just pretended not to know anything and let her do whatever she wanted.”
"Indeed, for the sake of the Shen family, you kept Shen Wangchen's affair a complete secret. If it weren't for the accident at Chengyang Mountain, you would have kept it to your grave. Compared to that, what are Mother and I?"
Her words seemed to be accusations, but her tone was actually extremely calm; after all these years, she had long since stopped caring.
If you care too much, life becomes too tiring.
Shen Guangjun's anger was completely quelled by these words, and he looked at his daughter with mixed feelings. Those eyes always reminded him of Lin Anrong.
He knew in his heart that he owed them a great deal, especially Shen Xi.
Because of the grudges of the previous generation, he and Jiang neglected to educate her. In the past, when Shen Xi and Xie Wenlang were always together, he only thought it was because young people were just beginning to fall in love and didn't care about the so-called rumors.
But only now did he realize that in a corner he hadn't noticed, the little girl who used to cry at the slightest bump or stumble had defied all his expectations and grown into a tree on her own.
Pointing straight to the sky, its branches and leaves are lush and verdant.
Overwhelmed with guilt for arriving more than a decade late, Shen Guangjun finally couldn't bear to say anything harsh to her. He lowered his eyes and said:
“Xi’er, after you get married, you will go to a new home. You must not be so willful anymore, otherwise, how will your husband’s family treat you? Although what I said today is not pleasant to hear, do not hold a grudge. If you miss home in the future, remember to come back and visit often.”
The last sentence was so light it was almost a sigh.
But Shen Xi was unmoved by his words, which he thought were full of fatherly love.
She stood up, looked at Shen Guangjun, her pupils calm as still water, with subtle light and shadow dancing in her eyes, and her tone was calm and undisturbed.
"Father, you're mistaken."
“I haven’t had a home since I was seven years old, and I never will.”
*
May 26th is an auspicious day for marriage.
On the day of the wedding, just as dawn was breaking, the matchmaker knocked on Shen Xi's door. She immediately greeted her with joyful words wishing her a long and happy marriage before helping her wash her face and get ready.
Today's wedding can only be described as extravagant. Xie Chengyan is, after all, the eldest son of the Duke's family, with a distinguished lineage. The wedding ceremony and expenses are all at the highest level for aristocratic families.
The ten-mile-long procession of red bridal procession, with gongs and drums leading the way, separated the bustling crowds on both sides of the long street, and added a festive touch to the entire city.
After washing and dressing, a large red veil embroidered with dragons and phoenixes in gold and silver threads was placed over her head. Shen Xi was led out of the Shen residence step by step.
The moment she stepped out of the door, Shen Xi felt a strange sense of ease; she had no lingering attachment to the Shen family mansion.
From now on, she will no longer be bound by it.
Looking down at the scattered red firecracker fragments at her feet, Shen Xi smiled slightly, a rare occurrence.
After boarding the bridal sedan chair, the grand wedding procession circled the city, accompanied by the deafening sounds of gongs and drums, passing through streets and alleys, all the way to the General's Mansion.
According to custom, the wedding banquet should have been held at the Duke's mansion, but for some reason, Xie Chengyan refused and insisted on holding the banquet at his own general's mansion.
Officials and nobles came to offer their congratulations, and amidst the clamor of voices, the bridal sedan chair came to a steady stop in front of the general's mansion.
Shen Xi's vision was obscured by the veil, with only a blinding crimson in her eyes. There was a rustling sound outside the bridal sedan chair, and after a moment, a long, slender hand with its palm facing upward broke through the only red in front of her eyes and calmly reached in.
She paused slightly, then remained motionless.
The person outside the sedan chair wasn't in a hurry. He gently hooked his fingertip, and Chen Xi heard a muffled chuckle: "Xi'er, do you want your husband to carry you out of the sedan chair?"
The tone was deep, but it was easy to tell that he was in a good mood.
Having not seen each other for many days, Shen Xi was still somewhat apprehensive upon hearing this voice for the first time.
She dared not delay any longer. Xie Chengyan always meant what he said, so she reached out and placed her hand in his warm, large palm.
The moment their fingertips touched, Xie Chengyan suddenly gripped her five fingers tightly and pulled harder. Startled by his sudden action, Shen Xi staggered forward two steps.
Xie Chengyan had anticipated this, so he loosened his grip slightly and instead moved upwards along the back of her hand, gripping her wrist and gently pulling her wrist.
Pulled by the powerful force, Shen Xi hurriedly got off the sedan chair and fell right into his arms. Xie Chengyan's other hand also wrapped around her waist without warning.
With her head covered by the veil, she couldn't see what was in front of her and had to lean against his chest to try to keep her balance.
Instantly, the fragrance of ebony wafted up.
Through the bright red wedding canopy, Xie Chengyan's chin gently brushed against her forehead, causing a slight itch. Before Shen Xi could protest, he had already carefully removed his touch, stepped back, and steadied her.
"Hold my hand and stay close to me."
As the cool voice faded, Shen Xi, whose vision was limited, was confused when something was shoved into her hand.
The wedding ceremony was elaborate, but it didn't take too long. After three bows in front of the hall, Xie Chengyan and Shen Xi each held one end of a red silk ribbon and slowly walked into the bridal chamber.
Amidst all the joyous congratulations around her, Shen Xi was led by Xie Chengyan to sit upright on the wedding couch. Her veil covered her vision, and she could only see the pair of spotless black boots beside her, tightly binding her slender calves.
They remained composed and showed no flaws, even though neither of them was willing to go through with the marriage.
Unlike Shen Xi herself, who, despite having made up her mind a few days ago, still felt uneasy when the moment actually arrived.
Xie Chengyan was cold-hearted and aloof in his daily life. No one dared to disturb his bridal chamber during his wedding. The bridal chamber became quiet, and the noise of the banquet was shut out.
Following the proper procedure, the matchmaker respectfully handed over the wedding scales.
Shen Xi gripped the waistband of her wedding dress tightly, lowered her gaze and looked out through the gap. She saw a pair of black boots slowly come to a stop in front of her, and then an exquisitely patterned wedding scale was brought in, and the veil was slowly lifted.
Suddenly, the view opened up, the crimson was swept away, and looking up, Xie Chengyan's handsome face appeared before him. The groom's wedding attire made his cold and hard eyebrows and eyes look even more alluring.
It was the first time Shen Xi had ever seen him wear such a bright color, and she was momentarily stunned.
Xie Chengyan noticed that she was staring at him absentmindedly, and the corners of his lips curled up almost imperceptibly. He turned around, took the Heqin wine, and the two drank it down together.
As the alcohol went down his throat, the stimulation caused Shen Xi to furrow his brow.
After drinking the Heqin wine, Xie Chengyan did not stop. Instead, he picked up the wine pot again and poured another cup for each of them.
Shen Xi was surprised. Although she took it without thinking, her eyes were full of confusion when she looked up at him.
How could she not know that the wedding banquet on the wedding day would be drunk twice?
Xie Chengyan met her gaze, his expression calm: "Since I am marrying you, I must inform your parents. I have already met your father, but I cannot explain it to your mother in person. I can only offer wine as a sacrifice."
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Author's Note: Hehe, I'm married! Time to eat something sweet for the next couple of days~ [droopy-eared rabbit head]
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