Chapter 39
love.
Kuroro once felt that it was like an ancient epic, romantic, magnificent, and beautiful, but shrouded in the blurry light and shadow of dusk, as untouchable as a wisp of smoke.
He never truly focused his long-term vision on anything, including this epic and heart-wrenching saga.
In this world, there is only one thing he truly and absolutely cares about.
—The Phantom Troupe, which he founded and which is inseparable from him.
One day, the almost invincible troupe encountered unprecedented trouble. Their companions were targeted by an enemy lurking behind them, who seized their weak points and eliminated them.
Kuroro was furious about this.
But his anger was as calm and heavy as the sea; he showed nothing, he only said:
"Go and find him; the funeral is still short of offerings."
However, their opponents were far more formidable than Kuroro had imagined.
Soon, the other party disappeared without a trace. The partner then contacted the queen of intelligence in the underworld, trying to obtain relevant information from her, but was ruthlessly rejected.
The reason given by the other party for refusing was "there are vested interests involved, and no matter how many Jennys there are, they won't give you the information." Kuroro felt annoyed when he heard this relayed.
However troublesome it may be, you have to bite the bullet and solve it yourself.
Since the financial offensive has failed, the only option is to adopt a roundabout tactic, infiltrate the enemy's ranks, and then devise a plan.
With this in mind, he casually fabricated the identity of the eldest son of an intelligence dealer who had been missing for many years and appeared in front of the intelligence chief.
...At first, I really just wanted to gather intelligence.
But as soon as he stepped into the magnificent manor, a girl who fluttered like a butterfly leaped down the stairs and hugged him tightly.
She buried her face in his chest, then lifted her head, her eyes brimming with love.
"elder brother."
In this false world of black and white posters made of lies, only the girl in front of me is like a colorful image bathed in the glow of the sunset. In the dry text, she is a unique, short, yet beautiful poem.
The autumn birds flew to my window and sang.
Kuroro lowered his eyes, and amidst the birdsong, reached out and gently put his arm around the girl's shoulder.
The moment their skin touched, the birdsong vanished, and all around was silent.
He then heard the sound of the stars turning.
The sky was filled with stars, their light glowing either emerald green or deep blue, shining straight into the high night sky from somewhere far away on the horizon.
...Later, he tried to describe this scene to Ray.
Since she wasn't really his sister, Kuroro's initial attitude towards Rai was actually quite casual and perfunctory.
When I sit in the study reading, I allow her to snuggle into my arms and read the same page with me.
When he went to bed at night, he would let her in barefoot, letting her hair fall loosely on his pillow.
She rested her head on her hands, staring intently at his profile, while he lowered his eyes, unmoved.
Whatever Miss Adrian wanted, Kuroro indulged her with an indifferent attitude.
Pretty and well-behaved girls have special privileges, not to mention she always acted like she liked him terribly, her eyes always glistening with tears whenever she looked up at him.
...like a puppy that has just learned to walk.
It's quite a fun thing to occasionally take the time to pat her head.
Thinking this, I couldn't help but turn my head and kiss the forehead of the girl who was nestled carefully beside me, only to be met with a surprised look from her:
"Why……"
Kuroro remained expressionless: "What's wrong?"
His composure made the girl wonder if she was being overly sensitive.
"It's nothing..." She hesitated and shook her head, burying her face in his neck, then changed the subject, asking coquettishly, "Didn't you promise to take me out to play today?"
We need to go out.
Visiting exhibitions, strolling in parks, painting each other's pictures, the early autumn weather is perfect for collecting fallen leaves, teapots bubbling and gurgling, and a pampered young lady quietly trying to cheat by pressing the wrong chess piece.
...Everything was too peaceful.
One peaceful late autumn afternoon, Kuroro casually stroked the girl's soft, long hair. Before his brain could process what was happening, his mouth recited a poem about butterflies, birds, starlight, and the night sky for her, before he suddenly realized something was amiss.
However, it was too late.
He called her name, and she responded, her voice filling his mouth without any gaps. He smelled a soft and sweet fragrance, like clouds and flower petals, and saw the white wings of birds flying past his eyes.
Autumn birds, when winter comes, they have nothing left to sing.
...As they spent more time together, Kuroro gradually realized that the gaze that Lai was giving him wasn't entirely directed at "himself."
Her gaze was always slightly off-target.
She always seemed to be looking at him, yet she wasn't.
"...Is there anything around us?" Finally, one day, Kuroro couldn't help but tilt his head slightly and ask, "While we're talking, you always seem to be unable to resist shifting your gaze to some strange place."
"No," Lei replied innocently and blankly, looking as if it were true. "I just can't help thinking about random things when I'm chatting."
Kuroro laughed.
He patted her head, and she obediently pressed her cheek into his palm.
“That sounds like a lie,” Kuroro said with a smile.
“No.” Lei also laughed.
They looked at each other and smiled, as if what had just happened was just an insignificant interlude, but Kuroro knew in his heart that this interlude was anything but ordinary.
At least, he was certain that in the world as Ray saw it, "he" was not "him".
What she wholeheartedly loved and trusted was merely an empty shell, a figment of her imagination that absolutely did not exist.
Through him, she was depicting her expectations of someone.
But who is that person?
Was Ray's expectation merely a sense of closeness and affection for his biological brother?
No, that's absolutely impossible.
No one would have such extraordinary dependence and love for their own brother.
She was like a dodder vine that would wither without him.
"Brother." She always used a weak tone, as if she were willing to destroy and abandon everything for him, as she leaned against his chest.
She listened intently to his heartbeat, and said:
"I want to be with my brother forever."
His initial intention to infiltrate the Adrian family was unknowingly thrown into disarray by this seemingly fragile yet terrifying youngest daughter. He knew he shouldn't act rashly, but the madness hidden deep within his bones screamed within him:
It's okay.
What's wrong with indulging once?
He was absolutely certain that no matter how difficult it was, he could obtain information from Lady Adrian.
And so, he fell into the abyss with the witch.
...The chaos did not last long.
Lady Adrian, the shadowy figure behind the witch, quickly realized everything and finally saw through his disguise.
“Kuroro Lucilfer,” she pronounced his name accurately, and then asked, “With your methods, you shouldn’t need to use my daughter to achieve your goals… Is there something else you want from Rae?”
"It wasn't originally there," he honestly replied.
“Then I hope you never will,” Mrs. Adrian said immediately.
Kuroro smiled.
Lady Adrian's expression turned serious: "I know that even if I stop you, you'll find a way to get information about [Chainhand]... what you call him... from me. But if I'm willing to cooperate and buy you time, your chances of capturing him will be much greater."
“Leave my daughter temporarily, not for long,” she offered. “Let’s make a bet. Within these few years, you will think you have her, but in just a few years, she will disappear from your life without a trace.”
"Is that so?" Kuroro neither nodded nor shook his head.
He had already made up his mind.
“Yes,” said Mrs. Adrian, “because the person she truly loves is not you. Everything is as it appeared when you met her; the very existence of both of you is a lie.”
She spoke with absolute certainty and conviction.
Kuroro didn't care; he was confident enough in his position in Ray's heart, so he said:
"good."
"Give me the information on the [Chain Hands], madam."
"I promise I will disappear temporarily, at least for the next few months."
He left behind that bird that couldn't find its own sky and was circling aimlessly in front of tourists' windows.
He will come back and open the window.
The birds will land at his window again, and everything will be the same as always, without any difference.
That's what Kuroro thought.
...Until one day, he stood alone at the unfamiliar ferry crossing, full of anticipation, clutching a book of poems filled with images of butterflies and fallen leaves. He looked expectantly at the ship that was about to dock, but in the end, he found that the person he was waiting for never appeared at the ship's exit.
The winter bird has nothing to sing, it only sighs once, and disappears into the waves.
He never saw Ray again.
The eldest son of the Zoldyck family was tasked by Lady Adrian with eliminating him.
The Zoldyck eldest son, always aloof and taciturn in front of his mission targets, tilted his head in confusion upon seeing Chrollo:
What did you do to make her angry?
Out of consideration for their "special relationship" and the intensity and difficulty of the task, Illumi Zoldyck reluctantly decided to forgo the reward for this mission, and kindly reminded Chrollo:
"I suggest you go apologize to Mrs. Adrian as soon as possible, otherwise things will get complicated."
“I heard Adrian and the Zoldycks are getting close,” Kuroro casually changed the subject. “So it’s true.”
“Yes,” Illumi said without any hesitation, “I will marry their daughter.”
Without considering whether Kuroro knew his "fiancée" or cared about his good news, Illumi added on his own:
"...She's a very obedient and adorable child."
Kuroro then realized that "someone" who carried Rai's expectations and love had finally appeared before him.
Well-behaved, obedient, cute, and compliant.
All her expectations and imaginations about "love," ingrained in her very being, stemmed from the desires of the man before her.
...And that twisted love actually dragged him down into the abyss as well.
The bird said to the waves: "Take me to your silent center; my beloved will be there soon."
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These poems are all adaptations of Tagore's works; the original lines are "summer birds," "autumn leaves," and "Take me to your silent center, let my heart be filled with song."
I just suddenly felt it was a good fit, so I made some random changes. Please don't mind; it was all just to create the right atmosphere.
——
Thank you so much for your support! I will continue to work hard!
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