"Why can't you cry?"
Mu Zhixing looked at Jiang Dao with a stern tone.
"I know you memorized all the lines. Every time we met before, I also read your character analysis, which was well written. You also analyzed this plot very well... Since you have analyzed it so well, how can you not cry?"
Jiang Dao remained silent and did not answer.
"I can see that you've worked very hard and put a lot of effort and preparation into this play." Mu Zhixing said, "But it's not enough. Since you knew that you couldn't cry, why didn't you strengthen your training for crying scenes in the past few months? Knowing that you couldn't cry, why didn't you ask me for help when we met several times before? You and Xiao Chu... have such a good relationship, why didn't you ask him to help you?"
Next to him, Chu Yinlong was about to say something, but Mu Zhixing gave him a look.
So Chu Yinlong understood that Director Mu would probably deliberately say something harsh next, trying to see if he could make Jiang Dao cry.
"I know you're not a professional actor, but since you know your shortcomings, why don't you train for them? Yes, I picked you and forced you to play this role, but since you agreed and said you would do your best, you should do everything you can!"
"Acting is not an easy thing. Crying scenes are the most difficult. It's not because crying scenes are difficult to act, but because, in order to be able to cry at any time, the actor needs to tear open the pain in his heart again and again and draw emotions from the unforgettable experiences in the past."
"You can't cry because you don't dare to tear up the wounds you once had!"
Jiang Dao still sat there, with his eyelashes drooped, not saying a word.
Director Mu paused, then emphasized: "Have you never cried in your life? Think about it now, recall the saddest time you cried, what was the reason? Think about it now, are you still sad? Feeling wronged? Feeling desperate?"
The saddest time you cried?
Did his father cut the rope with his own hands and fall into the abyss in order to protect him and his mother?
Was it his mother lying unconscious beside him, gradually growing cold on that rainy night?
Was it when he was falsely accused and punished at the age of nine, and was whipped all over his body until he was bleeding?
Was it when he was ten years old, and seeing his friend who was also a slave soldier dying, he cried and begged the slave owner for medicine but was refused?
Jiang Dao clenched his fingers lightly, but there was no sadness or joy in his eyes.
Even when he thought of those things, he couldn't cry now.
It was obviously impossible for Mu Zhixing to know what Jiang Dao had experienced.
"Have you never encountered something that made you feel sad, wronged, unfair, hopeless and helpless?" He looked at Jiang Dao with an expressionless face, feeling helpless. "Being an actor is a profession that requires you to be ruthless to yourself. No matter how painful it is, you must recall, uncover your wounds, and dig out all the sadness, grievance, unwillingness and helplessness in your heart at that time!"
Jiang Dao understood.
So he closed his eyes and tried hard to find the emotions that made him cry.
But...it's still no use.
Maki Zhixing could also see that Jiang Dao's emotions were actually on point.
He could see that Jiangdao was trying hard to recall and was in a very complicated and sad mood, but he just wouldn't shed tears.
Director Mu scolded him a few more times, and Chu Yinlong couldn't stand it anymore.
He reached out and grasped Jiang Dao's hand, and said to Director Mu: "Don't force him. If it really doesn't work...use artificial tears."
Director Mu stamped his feet and said: "I have never used fake tears in my movies!"
His head hurts. "You've made so many movies, you've been a director and an actor, don't you know the difference between fake tears and real tears? Whether a person cries or not is not just about whether or not tears fall, the entire facial muscles and micro-expressions will be affected, you know that."
Chu Yinlong argued: "But his emotions are in place and his micro-expressions can be controlled. If you really don't want to use artificial tears, you can use onions."
Director Mu blew his beard and glared, "Just protect him! This isn't the only crying scene he has in this movie. He cried calmly in this scene, so we can find other ways. But what about the later scenes? What about the one with the emotional outburst?"
Chu Yinlong didn't know what to do.
He turned to look at Jiang Dao, but Jiang Dao still had his eyelashes lowered and remained silent.
Mu Zhixing calmed down for a moment and looked at his watch.
"We still have half a day left. Let's finish this scene today." After saying that, he looked at Chu Yinlong and gave an order, "I'll give you a task. Within today, no matter what method you use, you must make him cry for me!"
Chu Yinlong: ...
As soon as he finished speaking, Director Mu waved his hand and shouted to the staff, "Leave the machine behind, and evacuate everyone. Let them stay alone to get a feel for it. Go, go, go."
Watching everyone in the room leave, leaving only him and Jiang Dao sitting half-naked on the bed, Chu Yinlong pinched his brows in pain.
Let him make Jiang Dao cry?
Can he bear with it?
I don’t know what Director Mu is thinking.
After a moment of silence, Chu Yinlong took Jiang Dao's hand and interlocked his fingers.
"I know. I can see that you've been through a lot of sad things, maybe more than any of us have." Chu Yinlong looked into Jiang Dao's eyes. "Although it's cruel to open your wounds, but... can you tell me about it?"
"No." Jiang Dao didn't hesitate at all.
"Why?" Chu Yinlong asked softly.
"I can't say." Jiang Dao lowered his eyes.
"You can't even tell me?" Chu Yinlong and Jiang Dao's hands tightened slightly, "Why?"
Jiang Dao looked at the two people holding hands and sighed helplessly.
"My past is not important, and it is not beautiful at all." He did not dare to look up at Chu Yinlong's eyes, and his eyes dodged to the side. "I don't want to tell you, and I won't tell anyone."
Chu Yinlong turned around, held Jiang Dao's cheek with his other hand, and stared at those dark eyes with a frown.
"But I want to know." His voice was a little deep. "I want to see all of you, and I will accept all of you. Look, I know what you did to Qin Xiao, and I know what dangerous things you did, but I still like you very much."
No, you don't know that I have done all kinds of evil things, including fraud, murder, and arson.
You don’t know that, in many cases, if I don’t give up some of my insistence as a human being, if I don’t treat myself as a beast, I will not be able to survive.
If you saw me who would do anything to survive, would you really still... like me?
Jiang Dao looked into Chu Yinlong's eyes and felt a chill in his heart.
"That's off topic." He turned his face away mercilessly and shook off Chu Yinlong's hand. "I'll try again to see if I can cry. Don't talk about anything else."
Chu Yinlong curled up his fingers that were suspended in the air and slowly retracted them.
He took a breath, resisting the dull pain in his chest, and tried to steer the topic back to business: "Okay, let's not talk about anything else. I can actually sense that you are not unwilling to recall sad things. You... look very sad. I can sense... you are just still suppressing it and can't let it go."
Jiang Dao actually understood that even though many heart-wrenching memories were clearly vivid in his mind, he could not cry. Firstly, those things had long passed, and secondly, he had long been accustomed to suppressing his emotions.
Especially negative emotions, because all negative emotions will expose his weaknesses and soft spots, which is too dangerous.
"Jiang Dao, you are an actor now." Chu Yinlong said seriously, "You can't suppress your emotions anymore, you have to release them. You actually did very well before. You could act out all the emotions except crying, such as joy, anger, sorrow, fear, love, hate, and desire... Why can't you cry?"
"Because crying is useless."
Jiang Dao's tone was too calm.
The corner of his mouth was curled with a faint smile, as if mocking: "I also know that being able to cry and vent emotions is a good thing. But crying itself can't solve any problems. It will make me look weak and vulnerable. It will let people see what I care about and know how to hurt me and how to stab me in the most vulnerable place..."
Chu Yinlong was stunned when he heard this.
What on earth has this child been through?
It’s not that he can’t cry, it’s that he doesn’t dare to cry.
If he wasn't acting, Jiang Dao would hardly reveal any negative emotions on a daily basis. He always seemed so free and optimistic, as if he didn't care about any misunderstandings or accusations.
...However, no one realized that Jiang Dao was not immune to sadness, he just hid all his negative emotions behind a thick shell, even deceiving himself.
He may really not be afraid of pain or care about it, but that doesn't mean he won't feel pain.
Chu Yinlong reached out and took Jiang Dao into his arms, hugging him tightly.
His eyes were red, and his throat was so tight that he could hardly make a sound: "...Stop talking."
Jiang Dao raised his hand, put it on Chu Yinlong's shoulder, and pushed him away slightly.
"I've thought of a way." He looked at Chu Yinlong, "If you stab my weak spot, I'll want to cry. Now, here... I can give it a try... Let my emotions run wild, maybe I'll cry."
Chu Yinlong's heart trembled violently: "... stab you in the weak spot?"
Jiang Dao hummed: "So, you can scold me."
Chu Yinlong had a bad feeling: "Scold you?"
Jiang Dao nodded, "Yes. You can scold me as you please, don't have a reason, just use the most vicious and hurtful words you can think of to scold me, wrong me, insult me... You can learn from those people on the Internet and say whatever you want about me. I'll try to see if I can... capture some emotions."
Chu Yinlong looked into Jiang Dao's eyes and felt more and more frightened in his heart.
He suddenly remembered that he had actually seen Jiang Dao on the verge of losing control of his emotions.
The first time, he almost got into an accident on the set. Jiang Dao held his waist, trembling all over.
The second time was when they came out of Qin Xiao’s villa. Jiang Dao said with red eyes that he didn’t want to lose him.
Chu Yinlong suddenly understood.
——He is Jiangdao’s weak spot.
Here, he is the only one who can make Jiang Dao cry.
"But I..." Chu Yinlong hesitated.
"You're an actor, and so am I." Jiang Dao pulled Chu Yinlong's finger and shook it gently, "We're filming, and I need to cry, so be professional and scold me."
Chu Yinlong was silent for a long time, took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly.
He reached out and hugged Jiang Dao, gave the boy a soft kiss on the corner of his lips, and then stood up: "Give me some time, I'll get ready."
Jiang Dao nodded.
Chu Yinlong turned and left the bedroom where the shooting was located, went into the bathroom under the gaze of everyone in the living room lounge area, and stood on the sink for a long time.
Director Mu knocked on the door outside: "What's going on?"
Chu Yinlong pushed the door open and went out: "He still can't cry, but we found a way, and we plan to give it a try... Wait a little longer, if it doesn't work, I can't do anything else."
Mu Zhixing said helplessly: "Okay, you try your best. There is really no other way. This time we can only use artificial tears."
After finally adjusting himself, Chu Yinlong returned to his bedroom, closed the door, and blocked out all prying eyes.
He walked to the bed, dragged over a staff member's folding chair, and placed it opposite Jiang Dao.
Then he sat on the chair and assumed the scrutinizing attitude of a superior.
"Let's continue talking about what happened just now." Chu Yinlong's line skills have always been good. He lowered his voice and deliberately revealed a hint of coldness. "Why can't you tell me about your past? Is it to hide some secret that cannot be told?"
Jiang Dao lowered his eyelashes, trying hard to feel the oppression and grievance from these words.
"Love is a matter between two people, and should be open and honest without reservation. But you are unwilling to tell me about your past. How can I have the confidence to face the future with you?"
Chu Yinlong crossed his arms, clenched his hands into fists in the dark, and tried his best to keep his tone cold.
"You have so many secrets that I don't know about. You dare to break into the villa at night by trampling on the law. You can avoid all surveillance along the way and make a perfect infiltration... Where did you learn these skills? Have you ever done something more lawless and immoral in places that I don't know about?"
Jiang Dao closed his eyes and used his fingers to pull the edge of the bed hard.
Chu Yinlong shifted his gaze and focused it on the void behind Jiang Dao. He took a short, deep breath.
Then he continued to recite the lines: "Jiang Dao, you are like this, which scares me. I am afraid that you are a spy sent by another country, and that you will steal something extremely important to me. I am afraid that one day I will wake up and find that your hands are stained with blood..."
Jiang Dao took a slow breath, with some uncontrollable trembling.
Chu Yinlong clenched his teeth again and again, and finally said: "I can't accept you being by my side like this."
Jiang Dao closed his eyes, pursed his lips, bit his lips with his teeth, and his face turned a little pale.
The silence lasted for a long time, and the room was so quiet that you could hear the abnormal breathing of both people.
until--
Chu Yinlong suddenly rushed to Jiang Dao, stretched out his hand to pinch his chin, and pressed his thumb hard against Jiang Dao's clenched teeth: "Let go! You're bleeding! Let go, Xiaodao, don't bite yourself!"
Jiang Dao raised his head and looked towards Chu Yinlong.
Those eyes were as dark as a deep, cold pond, seemingly able to freeze all emotions and sink them to the deepest bottom of the water, never to see the light of day again.
Chu Yinlong's eyes suddenly turned red. He eagerly kissed Jiang Dao's mouth, his voice trembling and incoherent: "Xiaodao... please let go, okay? Don't hurt yourself... those words just now are all false, don't believe them, Xiaodao, don't believe them... Don't bite yourself, let go... I, I made it all up, I lied to you. How could I not accept you, I like you... No matter what you are like, I like you..."
He pressed his forehead against Jiang Dao's brows, rubbed his nose against Jiang Dao's nose wings, and kissed away the blood beads oozing from Jiang Dao's lips.
A drop of warm tear fell into the gap between their lips. Jiang Dao suddenly came back to his senses and widened his eyes in shock.
Chu Yinlong...actually cried?
Jiang Dao's heart was in a state of confusion. He unconsciously raised his hands to hold Chu Yinlong's face and wiped away the tears from the corners of the man's eyes.
"Why are you crying?" Jiang Dao's throat tightened slightly, "I should be the one crying."
Chu Yinlong used both hands to hold Jiang Dao in his arms and whispered in his ear: "I feel heartbroken."
Taking a deep breath, he continued, "I'm sorry, I hurt you with what I said just now... I didn't mean it, I made it up. How could I bear to send you away..."
After a moment of silence, Jiang Dao whispered: "...but I'm really not a good person."
Not only was his hands stained with blood, the evil things he had done were probably even more cruel than the cruelest thing Chu Yinlong could imagine. Although those were life-and-death decisions, it is undeniable that he made them with his own hands.
He knew that there was a beast hidden in his heart. In fact, if he was not so reluctant to leave this beautiful world, if he did not want to implicate Chu Yinlong, there would not be a single survivor in Qin Xiao's villa that night.
"Jiang Dao," Chu Yinlong looked into the boy's eyes seriously, "I can tell whether you are a good person or not."
As he spoke, he touched the corners of Jiang Dao's eyes with his fingers, lingered on the red spot for a moment, and then spoke:
"Your past was probably not very pleasant. You don't want others to see your weaknesses and soft spots. You may have raised a vicious dog in your heart to protect the things you cherish most... To me, those are all part of you. No matter how unbearable or cruel they are, I accept them all. Even if one day you can't control the vicious dog in your heart and hurt others, hurt me... I may be sad, but I will still love you."
Listening to Chu Yinlong's gentle, affectionate, yet extremely solemn voice, Jiang Dao felt his eyes getting hot, his heart aching, and the world in front of him was broken up by a little watery light.
"And please believe me, I will help you tie up that vicious dog."
Chu Yinlong whispered in Jiang Dao's ear.
"I will also work with it to protect your most precious and cherished things. You are no longer alone, I am here. You can vent your emotions wantonly, you can be sad, you can complain, you can make trouble unreasonably..."
"You can cry too. You don't have to worry about others discovering your weakness. Remember, I'm here."
The world before his eyes became more and more fragmented, but the love in Chu Yinlong's eyes was so clear, like a ray of light shining directly into Jiang Dao's eyes.
Jiang Dao hurriedly closed his eyes, but hot tears still rolled out of his eyes, slid down his cheeks, and were then gently wiped away by a warm hand.
The tears flowed more and more, as if to vent all the sorrow and despair that I had endured for these years...
Jiang Dao hugged Chu Yinlong tightly, with such great strength that Chu Yinlong couldn't help but frown. But he didn't say anything. He just raised his hand and gently stroked the back of Jiangdao's neck and patted Jiangdao's back lightly.
After a long time... a long time...
Jiang Dao couldn't stop crying, his tears flowing down their tightly pressed bodies, wetting their skin.
Chu Yinlong was originally relieved that Jiang Dao finally cried, but he didn't expect that the result was getting more and more out of control, and he became completely panicked.
"Stop crying." He tried to wipe Jiang Dao's tears, but his hands were already soaked by tears. "Stop, stop... Oh, I feel bad if you do this. Adjust your breathing, or you will feel uncomfortable."
"I...well, I don't know..." Jiang Dao sobbed, unable to stop crying, "I don't know why...I can't stop..."
"Think about something happy?" Chu Yinlong felt distressed and amused, rubbing Jiang Dao's face, "You've been very busy today, can you ask Director Mu to give you a chicken drumstick for lunch? Or, do you want some milk tea?"
"Lunch, uh, lunch... It's past time." Jiang Dao said with a heavy nasal voice and tears in his eyes, "I'll cry, cry... Go call Director Mu..."
After trying to persuade him for a while without any effect, Chu Yinlong had no choice but to stand up, open the door and call Mu Zhixing in.
Seeing Jiang Dao couldn't stop crying, Director Mu became depressed.
He rolled his eyes at Chu Yinlong: "I told you to make him cry, not to bully him like this. Look how he's crying! How did you torture him to be so cruel? Hiss, you still——"
As he spoke, Director Mu glanced at the door. Seeing that no one was watching, he lowered his voice and said in shock, "You actually bit his mouth! What kind of habit is this?!"
Chu Yinlong: ...
Why does this scene seem familiar?
"It's not... it's not him," Jiang Dao cried and tried to defend Chu Yinlong, "Yes, well, I bit myself...."
Mu Zhixing: "Do you think I believe it?"
Jiang Dao: “Really…!”
Mu Zhixing was speechless. He turned around and took a pack of tissues from the outside and handed them to Jiang Dao: "Wipe it. The lunch we ordered has been delivered. Calm down and eat first."
With outsiders around, Jiang Dao quickly suppressed his emotions and stopped crying, but he still couldn't stop sobbing.
The two wiped their tears, put on their coats, walked side by side into the living room which was temporarily used as a lounge, and had dinner with the crew members.
"Hurry up this afternoon and finish this crying scene while you are in the mood." Director Mu said, and then turned to the coordinator, "Jiang Dao's eyes will definitely be swollen tomorrow. Adjust it and arrange a scene that doesn't require close-ups, or give Xiao Chu a solo role, or Group B will do."
The coordinator nodded, quickly finished the last bite of his meal, picked up his laptop and started to make arrangements.
After lunch, there was not much time to rest. Jiang Dao and Chu Yinlong were asked to touch up their makeup and adjust their looks, and then the shooting began in full swing.
After venting his emotions once, Jiangdao found it not so difficult to cry this time.
Under the camera, the boy's crow-feather eyelashes trembled, casting a shadow on his cheek. He bit his lip, his face was pale, but there was a surprising pink at the corners of his eyes, accompanied by tears accumulating in his eyes that were about to fall, making him look even more pitiful.
As the two of them got closer, the little gray wolf's fingers on Xia Tian's back suddenly tightened, wrinkling the thin fabric.
His long eyelashes trembled violently, and tears in his eyes suddenly rolled down. Then, he trembled his lips and closed his eyes in despair.
“Cut!”
Director Mu stared at the camera monitor, and finally smiled after being serious for most of the day: "Passed."
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