Chapter 58 Don't Give Yourself a Chance to Regret
The candle wick crackled, and the flame in the room flickered. In the blink of an eye, the two pairs of eyes turned from bright to dark.
Sui Yu took the medicine bowl and took the opportunity to sort out her thoughts while drinking the medicine. Although this was the result she wanted, she did not feel at ease at all and did not feel the slightest bit of joy or anticipation.
A palm-sized black pottery bowl covered the man's face. The man who used to swallow bitter soup with huge gulps as if he were about to die, now took small, slow sips. Zhao Xiping saw Sui Yu like this, and his inner uneasiness vanished like mist under the steaming light. Her uneasiness, her guilt, her hesitation dispelled his inner uncertainty. If she were secretly delighted at this moment, joyfully hugging him and offering sweet nothings, Zhao Xiping would definitely regret it. Fortunately, she still had a conscience and knew she couldn't bear to part with him.
A bowl of medicine will eventually be finished. Sui Yu pinched the edge of the warm bowl, raised her moist eyes, and asked anxiously, "Are you going to die?"
"Maybe." After saying this, Zhao Xiping grabbed the bowl and strode out.
Sui Yu stared blankly at the blurry figure sinking into the pitch-black night. The footsteps entered the kitchen and did not come out for a long time.
After Zhao Xiping packed up the medicine furnace, he leaned against the stove door and gazed at the pitch-black night. There were no stars or moon. Perhaps tomorrow would rain, and the crops in the fields would quickly grow taller after the rain... He lost himself in the darkness and thought about many things. In his youth, he was ignorant and fearless, relying on his passion to walk through the wilderness, looking for the army to kill foreign enemies. During his four years in the army, his life had been on the line many times, he had seen more blood than he had drunk water, and he had experienced countless life and death. Walking on the battlefield where his life was always uncertain, he lost his courage and his bravery. He became afraid of death, injury, and pain, and only longed for a stable life. Although the dull and boring days that followed were disheartening, Zhao Xiping never tired of it.
The night wind blew, sweeping away the man's sigh. Zhao Xiping pounded his chest lightly, wary of the situation, but he couldn't control his heart and volunteered to sacrifice his life in exchange for the man's freedom.
Life is so worthless.
The raindrops came suddenly, and the bean-sized raindrops fell on the ground, splashing the damp dust. The dry cold wind was mixed with water vapor, so sticky that it made it difficult to breathe.
There was the sound of footsteps, Zhao Xiping looked over, and the wooden door creaked open. The wind stretched the flames, illuminating a sad face.
"It's raining, come in." Sui Yu said softly.
"It's cold outside. You go in first and I'll boil some water for you to wash your feet." Zhao Xiping stood up straight.
"I'll go inside and wait for you."
The door closed again. Zhao Xiping took a deep breath, scooped a ladle of cold water to rub his feet, and strode into the house against the rain.
"It's raining?" Sui Yu made small talk.
Zhao Xiping ignored her. He walked to the side of the bed, touched her forehead, and said, "The fever is going down. Go to sleep. You will be well when you wake up tomorrow morning."
Sui Yu looked at him, tears slowly welling up in her eyes. She choked and said, "I don't want to."
"Um."
"I don't want you to be in danger. If anything happens to you, it's my fault." A line of hot tears slid down her chin. Sui Yuqiang swallowed hard, her voice already tinged with tears, and her shoulders trembled. She sobbed, "Zhao Xiping, I can't bear to let you go to the battlefield. I'm afraid you will die. What should I do? Wuwuwu... Am I too greedy?"
She cried, and Zhao Xiping felt so happy. He stood there without moving, and his rough hand that was on her forehead slid down to wipe her hot face, wiping away the sticky tears.
"I'm not dead yet, why are you crying?" he asked with a smile.
Sui Yu cried out "Woo", holding his hands to cover her face and crying loudly.
"If you wake Sui Liang up from crying, he'll start crying too." Zhao Xiping reminded him, then added, "Did you cry your nose? Don't disgust me."
Sui Yu fell silent. She picked up the clothes she had taken off from the box and wiped her face with them. After crying, her mind became much clearer.
The man looked at her with a smile, feeling relaxed all over.
"Hasn't this been your idea from the beginning? Why are you crying so hypocritically?" he asked deliberately.
Sui Yu shook his head and refused to admit it.
Zhao Xiping snorted coldly and didn't want to talk anymore. He was also very tired.
"Go to sleep, I want to sleep too." He was about to leave.
Sui Yu grabbed his hand and said seriously, "You must promise me one thing, you must come back alive. I want to escape slavery, but I want you to be alive even more. If you encounter life-threatening danger, even if it means a promotion, you must not risk your life. You must escape. As long as you are alive, I can wait."
"Stop talking nonsense, I know what I'm doing." He cherishes his life more than anyone else.
Zhao Xiping went around to the other side, took off his shoes, and got on the bed. Before going to sleep, he said, "Call me if you feel uncomfortable."
"good."
Sui Yu blew out the oil lamp and lay down. She felt hot and cold, and she tucked her legs and feet into the man's arms. She couldn't sleep because of the headache. She stared at the dark ceiling motionlessly, and tears slid down the corners of her eyes into the pillow.
Sui Yu felt a sudden pain in her foot and instinctively pulled it back, but her legs and feet were firmly bound in the man's arms. Zhao Xiping said irritably, "Go to sleep now, don't cry. If the fever doesn't subside tomorrow morning, you'll have to wait and get another acupuncture treatment."
Sui Yu became quiet. She turned over and hugged Sui Liang, and soon fell asleep.
When it was almost light, Zhao Xiping woke up. He touched Sui Yu's forehead first, and finally felt the coolness on it again. The fever had subsided, and she was sleeping like a hibernating snake, not making any noise no matter how hard he tried.
Zhao Xiping was furious. He had been struggling for the past few days but still couldn't let go of the slavery issue. Now that he had hope, his troubles would be over. Thinking of this, he lay down again. That was it. He was tired from all the work, so he might as well skip a meal and have a good sleep.
It rained in the middle of the night and the sun came out again in the morning. The camels, who had been hungry all night and couldn't wait for their owners, broke open the gate of the pen and wandered around in the yard. Two lambs also ran out and chased the hens in the yard, making them scream at the top of their lungs.
Zhao Xiping heard the noise and came out. When he opened the door, he saw that the yard was in a mess. The wet mud was full of hoof prints. A camel was drinking water from the water jar with the lid lifted. Sheep were defecating in the middle of the yard. A hen flew onto the roof and clucked at the top of its lungs.
Zhao Xiping clenched his fists, combed his hair a few times, and without bothering to wash his face, he opened the door and let the camels and sheep out.
Sui Yu and Sui Liang also came out one after another. Sui Yu had a fever for too long and had not had a proper meal in the past few days. When he went out and stood in the wind, his legs felt weak.
"Sweep away the sheep droppings first." She instructed Sui Liang. The water in the vat was also dirty. She couldn't cook, so she could only pick up the basket and go to the vegetable garden first.
"Sister Yu, are you going to pick some vegetables? Are you feeling better?" Sister Lamei saw someone as she went out. She muttered, "Are you feeling better? I was just about to go see you."
"Okay, the fever has finally subsided." Sui Yu smiled and said, "I'm sorry for causing trouble to my sister-in-law last night. I only trust you, so I can only send Liang Ge'er to your house."
"If you have any problems in the future, just send the child over. I have two children at home, and I will let Liang Ge'er come to my house to play in the future."
"Okay, since you said that, I won't be polite." Seeing someone coming, Sui Yu said no more, said goodbye to Sister Lamei, and walked on the wet mud to go to the vegetable garden.
She went back after pulling out the radish seedlings. Zhao Xiping also came back, but he didn't bring the camel and sheep back. He asked the shepherd to keep an eye on them for him and he would go over after he finished cooking.
"I'll cook. You take a rest. Don't touch the cold water." Zhao Xiping instructed, "I'll go get some water first. You just sit at home and take a rest. Don't get too excited and get sick again."
Sui Yu felt uneasy and didn't dare to make jokes to tease him anymore. Even if his words were sarcastic, she would not talk back.
After the yard was swept clean, Sui Yu took a wooden board from the woodshed and, instead of cooking, she squatted in the yard, using it to smooth out the hoof prints. Even with the sun blazing down on her head, she was still busy, and since she was wearing thick clothes, sweat was forming on the tip of her nose.
The meal was ready and Zhao Xiping called for dinner. The medicine was also stewing. He stirred the fire and turned around to see Sui Yu's face was red again. His heart tightened and he strode over and covered her forehead with his hand.
"I don't have a fever, I'm even sweating, so I'm cured." Sui Yu muttered.
"You're healed?" Zhao Xiping sneered. "You were trying to survive last night, how could you be healed so quickly?"
Sui Yu glanced at him and walked around him to get the rice.
"I said I wanted to earn military merit, and you cried for half the night, but you couldn't bear to say a word of refusal." Zhao Xiping took the bowl and looked at her with a dark face. Last night, he was confused by her crying and felt refreshed all over. This morning, he went outside to get some fresh air and came back to his senses.
Sui Yu ate a mouthful of rice without even looking at him.
"Speak." He stepped on her.
"Do you regret it?" Sui Yu asked him.
Zhao Xiping choked a little, but he did not regret it, just hesitated and was unwilling.
"Then don't go." Sui Yu's face darkened. She took a mouthful of radish sprouts and ate them in big mouthfuls, mumbling, "The radish sprouts are tender at this time. They will be cooked after a quick stir-fry. Don't stir-fry them for too long."
The first sentence had nothing to do with the second. Zhao Xiping stared at her twice, and when he saw that her face had lost its spirit, he glared at her hatefully.
Sui Yu glared back, "It's your bad luck to meet me."
"Oh, it's not like smoke is coming out of my ancestral graves?"
"Anyway, there's no green smoke coming out of your ancestral grave, but mine is emitting black smoke. I'm so unlucky to have encountered all these messes." Sui Yu lost her appetite again, so she put down her bowl and chopsticks and stopped eating.
Zhao Xiping stared at her. The two of them were in a stalemate. He slapped his thigh hard, picked up the bowl and chopsticks and stuffed them into her hands, saying, "You are so powerful. You can't even say a word."
He wasn't lying, her feelings for him weren't as great as his feelings for her.
Sui Liang was like a dog that had been beaten. He looked left and right while holding the bowl, not knowing what they were angry about.
Sui Yu felt guilty. She lowered her eyes and looked at the smoking rice. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the man next to her stand up. She grabbed his hand and said, "You are my only hope for freedom. I want freedom, and I want you to live. If you are willing to give it a try, I look forward to you giving it a try. I said last night that no matter how great my achievements are, they are not more important than your life. What I mean is that even if I don't have any military achievements, I have no complaints. If you are willing to trade your life for my freedom, I dare to gamble my life. If you die on the battlefield and don't come back, I will go to accompany you after I have settled Liang Ge'er."
Zhao Xiping felt relieved now. She said that she would live well even if he died, but the resentment in her heart completely disappeared.
After the meal, Zhao Xiping watched Sui Yu finish a bowl of bitter soup in one breath. After washing the pots and bowls, he poured out all the water in the vat and cleaned the bottom of the vat. Then he picked up the pole to fetch water.
On his last trip, he brought back well-fed camels and sheep.
"I'm going out for a while. Wait for me to come back and cook dinner in the evening." Zhao Xiping said before leaving.
"Where are you going?" Sui Yu asked.
"Go find the captain and ask him to assign me any missions in the future." Zhao Xiping strode out without giving himself the chance to regret.
It also allows Sui Yu to rest assured and recuperate.
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