Chapter 12 Why are psychopaths not considered gods?
I don't know why my God descended this time. Was it because he was bored, or because he woke up and thought of me, a hopeless believer...
But why bother to go into detail? It was a blessing from Heaven that I could see Him again before my life was gone.
I cherish every minute and every second so much, for I am afraid that if I am not careful, the time we spend together will disappear.
Fortunately, all the priests in the temple held this idea, so I was not so conspicuous when hiding among them.
I could increasingly feel that the way my God looked at me was a little strange, as if he was looking through me at another person.
I naturally knew who He was looking at through me, but I deliberately didn't mention it.
As I indulged myself in this way, He seemed to have forgotten that He had ever mentioned that person to me, and suddenly one day He told me with great enthusiasm.
——"I once saw someone who looked just like you."
The smile on my face remained unchanged, and the hand holding the pen did not pause at all, as if the person He was talking about was not someone I had been paying attention to and jealous of for a long time, but just a stranger whom I had never heard of.
"Oh, really?" I heard myself answer.
I have forgotten how I felt at that time. The only thing I remember is the soul that had already rotted beneath my calm and peaceful surface.
"Please, don't mention him..." This was the only thing I wanted to say at the time, but I kept it all in my heart.
Of course I know I am deceiving myself, but as long as my God doesn't mention him in front of me, I can hide in my shell and pretend that I have never heard of it.
Only in this way can I barely maintain my self-esteem and soul that are already crumbling in the storm.
The more indifferent I act, the more relaxed my mind becomes.
Gradually, not only I, but other people in the priest's temple also knew about the substitute.
At first, only a few high priests noticed it, and they either hinted or asked me explicitly whether I knew.
This is ridiculous. As a stand-in, how could I not know about this? But how can I say that I know and care?
When faced with their inquiries, I denied everything with a smile, but my heart was becoming more and more twisted and crazy day by day.
I want to control my jealousy, but I can’t help but think, does my God like that person so much?
Is he as devout as I am? What happened between them?
I didn't dare ask my God, and I was always careful to hide my jealousy in front of Him.
How can such an ugly thing be exposed before my God?
My God summons me more and more often, and the priests around me envy me. I should be happy, but for some reason, I feel desolate inside.
Sure enough, human nature is jealous.
The more I try to control myself, the more I can't help but guess and feel jealous.
Does my god like that person so much? He likes me so much that he wants to keep me, who is even slightly similar to him, by his side all the time.
I pretended to be completely ignorant in front of my god, but seeing how he looked at me, I admit that I was jealous to the point of going crazy.
My abnormality was noticed by the chief priestess under her command, who warned me that gods have no sorrow or joy, and I should immediately retract my dirty emotions and serve the gods devoutly with a holy body and mind.
Gods have no sorrow or joy. This is something I have known since I entered the priest's temple.
Countless cases in the history of theology tell me that it is an unforgivable sin for believers to develop feelings for gods.
Even if Shu Yue was as lucky as she was, and was favored by the God of Fortune, who asked a high and mighty god to come to the world to accompany her through this short human life, he would only leave his name in the history of gods as a close friend.
Countless other believers were either sentenced to death for the crime of "defiling the gods" or became anxious and worried after receiving a little bit of divine favor, and eventually collapsed and died.
But even so, such cases continue to occur.
Human beings' devout faith in God is engraved in their bones, and it is like fuel hidden in the human body.
It doesn't require a very hot flame or a very ambiguous relationship. It only requires the god to show up once and say a few words, and it can be easily ignited and last forever.
Only when a person's life force, blood and bones are completely burned out will they stop.
Reason tells me that I should retract this dirty emotion, but looking at the figure of my god, unwillingness continues to take root and expand in my heart.
My God still has another eight years, and another eighty years, but I don’t have another eight years.
Finally, after my god mentioned him again, I smiled and asked, "What does that person look like?"
I saw the surprised look in my god's eyes. It seemed that he didn't expect that I, who had never been interested in him, would take the initiative to ask about him.
However, after a brief moment of surprise, He smiled and talked about that person.
He seemed very dissatisfied with that person, saying that he always had a stern face and was always cold...
That day, I listened to Wushen talking about that person, and he said a lot.
My God is always complaining and asking for my advice from time to time.
"He's annoying, isn't he?" "No one would like him, would they?"
"Even if you haven't met him, based on what I've said, you don't like him, right?"
I smiled and nodded in agreement, intentionally ignoring the smile that never faded from my god's lips when he mentioned that person.
That smile was something I had never seen before, and it was something I had wanted to see my entire life.
But compared to before, I seem to be more greedy.
I want to see this happen one day because of me.
My God must not know that when He mentioned that person, although He complained, the light in His eyes and the movements of His body were very different from usual.
For the first time, I realized how much my God liked that person, and how much honor I had gained because of this face.
After the night talk, I bent over my desk and compiled the information about him that my god had told me, compiled it into a booklet and handed it to the young priest beside me.
Facing the little priest's puzzled gaze, I smiled and ordered, "Prepare me a copy according to what's written here."
The priest's temple has always been very quick, and since I am the chief priest of this priest's temple, the preparations are even faster.
In just half a quarter of an hour, everything I needed was ready.
Under the little priest's horrified gaze, I put on a white robe that I never wore before and dressed myself up to look energetic.
I looked at myself in the mirror. The corners of my mouth, which were always smiling, were slightly pursed, making me look particularly cold.
"Do I look like that guy?" I asked.
The young priest waiting on the side heard what I said clearly, but he obviously didn't know anything about that person.
In response to my question, he expressed doubt and then looked very puzzled.
I didn't need his answer. I looked at myself in the mirror with a gloomy look. I looked completely different with just a little makeup. I always felt like something was missing.
But it doesn't matter, I still have time to find out more about that person.
I will take that person's place and stay beside my God, completely replacing him!
Because of my indifference and deliberate indulgence, my God did not deliberately hide anything about that person from me this time.
He must not know that the little priest in front of him had been reborn in these few years.
It was easy for me to piece together that person from the few words my god occasionally said and the odd bits and pieces of trivial matters.
Collect information quietly and change yourself subtly.
Before He even noticed, I had become what He remembered.
On an ordinary afternoon, He stared at my back for a long time.
After a while, I heard Him laugh and say, "Aren't all priests' robes black? When did you change into a white robe?"
I turned and looked at Him. Although He concealed it quickly, I could still see in His eyes the emotions that He had not yet had time to retract.
For a moment, I felt a mixture of joy and bitterness. I gained the attention of my God by imitating that person.
But can I shed that label for the rest of my life so that God can truly see me?
I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter.
From the moment I made this decision, I was ready to give up on myself.
Tonight, I only wish my God well. 】
......
After Jiang Yang finished typing the last line, he turned around and looked at the rewards in the live broadcast room, and met Chongming's surprised and complicated gaze.
"Congratulations, you have earned the money for your plane ticket." Chongming said dejectedly.
Jiang Yang looked delighted. "Really? I thought we'd have to live stream for another day."
She calculated, "If I can get it today, I'll place the order today and buy the fake ID by tomorrow at the latest. I can go straight to the airport tomorrow night."
Jiang Yang picked up Chongming and shook him up and down. Chongming felt like he had seen this technique before.
He thought about it and finally found a scene with a similar technique in his lost memories.
This is clearly the way Mother Earth holds his Tengu!
Jiang Yang is totally messing around!
Jiang Yang had no idea what Chongming had misunderstood about her unskilled way of holding the baby. She said to herself:
"In that case, we can leave here soon. Chongming, which city do you want to live in?"
Chongming was too embarrassed to voice his suspicions. After all, if he didn't, Jiang Yang might have just casually picked him up. But if he did, wouldn't that just confirm his suspicions? How would he survive in the future?
Chongming thought about it for a while and decided not to tell anyone, and to ask indirectly later.
"Chongming?" Jiang Yang asked again when he saw Chongming didn't say anything.
Chongming finally came to his senses and nodded, saying, "I heard it."
He pondered for a moment and said, "Let's go to Chongning City."
Chongning City is the largest gathering place for believers of the God of Light, and is also the location of the Temple of the God of Light.
It is said that this is the place most worshipped by believers of the God of Light all over the world.
Every year, a large number of believers in the God of Light move their families to Chongning City just to be closer to the god they believe in.
Although Jiang Yang is not very familiar with this world, the worship of the God of Light in this world is deeply rooted in his bones.
She could see news about the God of Light just by browsing the Internet, not to mention Chongning City, which is known as the "hometown of the God of Light."
Hearing this, he pretended to be aggrieved and asked, "Do you like the God of Light so much that you can't wait to find him?"
"Why, do you really not like being with me?"
Chongming's eyes were wide open and he stuttered a little because of nervousness.
"No, it's not. It's just that Chongning City is relatively close, so it should be easy to buy a plane ticket."
Chongming pulled up a map and pointed at the densely packed airports and high-speed rail facilities in Chongming City.
"Over the years, Chongning City has developed very well thanks to the God of Light. The infrastructure is also very complete. Both plane tickets and high-speed rail tickets are easy to buy."
"Because of the God of Light, countless people have flocked to Chongning City, including some undocumented individuals like you."
"As for people like this, Chongning City won't be as arbitrary as other cities. They believe that everyone who can become a follower of the God of Light has been tested by the God of Light, so they are willing to give such people a chance."
"Once you arrive in Chongning City, you can seek help from the relevant departments and obtain a household registration."
Under Jiang Yang's admiring gaze, Chongming clapped his hands and said, "This way you won't have to hide from place to place in the future."
Of course, the most important purpose is to hide in Chongning City. Even if the God of Light really wants to find Jiang Yang after waking up, it will take some time.
With this period of delay, he could definitely detect it in advance and run away with Jiang Yang!
Jiang Yang praised Chongming profusely, using names like "truly the smartest messenger of God", "the greatest messenger of God in history", "my most beloved little darling" and so on, which made Chongming blush.
Chongming looked at Jiang Yang shyly, thinking, "Jiang Yang is good in every way, except that he's too enthusiastic. His enthusiasm is a little overwhelming."
But when he thought about the gods he had met around the God of Light before, he felt that Jiang Yang's problem was nothing. After all, she was just too enthusiastic, and the other gods were a little crazy.
That’s right, after two days of study, Chongming has accurately mastered some vocabulary in modern society.
Moreover, our greatest, smartest, most trusted, and unrivaled Ming of the God of Light has begun to integrate into this society.
Apart from anything else, the accuracy of the descriptive vocabulary in this society is very high. At least Chongming found a word to describe those gods - neurotic.
Come to think of it, how can a psychopath not be considered a god?
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