Chapter 160 Once Shen Jin leaves, he will never return.
Chen Jin loved snow because he found it beautiful. The snow falling heavily covered the world in pure white, creating a beautiful scene, as if one had entered a dreamlike kingdom.
At the same time, Chen Jin used to be particularly afraid of snow. This may sound contradictory, but it is not surprising, because snow means that the cold winter season has arrived.
This season might just be cold for others, or they might be waiting to see snow, but it's different for Chen Jin. Because he used to be so poor, his place was dilapidated, and in winter, the cold air would seep into the room everywhere.
They have no air conditioning, and they don't even know if their quilts will keep them warm. They don't have many coats to wear in winter, and they're all cheap ones. They can only keep warm by constantly lighting a fire at home, and when they go out to work, they freeze half to death, and their hands and feet become numb.
"Ouch, it hurts! It's so cold!" Xiaoqing had just finished washing the vegetables with clean water, and the back of her hands was numb from the icy water. She kept blowing on them, "I'm going to freeze to death!"
“It’s not that exaggerated.” Shen Jin couldn’t help but laugh. “Maybe it’s just psychological. The more you care, the colder you feel. On the contrary, if you try not to care and try to ignore it, you might not feel so cold.”
"You're just talking nonsense, nobody believes you!" Xiaoqing couldn't help but laugh and retort, then blew a few breaths on her hands. "It doesn't work at all."
"It may not be very effective, but it's not entirely useless either." Shen Jin chuckled softly, sitting on the swing next to him watching the snow, and gently blowing on his hands to his mouth. "This is how I used to get through the cold, trying to ignore it and not think about it."
Xiaoqing was a little surprised after hearing this. She let out a soft "Eh," sat down next to him, glanced at him and then around, and asked uncertainly, "You don't seem that poor to me. You must be able to eat your fill and stay warm."
"How did I give you such an impression?" Shen Jin was incredulous after hearing this, and couldn't help but laugh. His gaze became somewhat distant. "I used to be very poor, you know. I could barely make ends meet. When winter came, most people just wanted to stay in bed and not come out, but I was different."
Xiaoqing asked, "What are you doing?"
“I just want to spend a whole day squatting by the fire.” Chen Jin laughed again, and some snowflakes fell onto his hands. He couldn’t help but reach out and scratch them a few times. “It was so cold back then. I felt like I was freezing to death when I slept, and I couldn’t sleep peacefully.”
"Why don't you put a fire pit under the bed? It's the most primitive method, but at least it works," Xiaoqing said. "That would be much warmer, wouldn't it?"
“People in the city don’t use these things,” Chen Jin said. “They use heating, but it’s too expensive for me. I don’t have the money, so I can’t afford it and have to freeze.”
After a pause, Shen Jin smiled again and said, "Fortunately, my place is at the foot of the mountain, which blocks the wind, and because it is close to the mountain, there are many dry trees that can be used to start a fire for warmth, so it is more convenient."
While the two of them were chatting happily, Yan Yu stood not far away, separated from them by a door. Shen Jin didn't see him or notice him, but Yan Yu could stare at him intently and listen to what he was saying.
As he listened to Shen Jin recount his past, he couldn't help but imagine himself unable to keep warm in the dead of winter, and his heart began to ache.
Unfortunately, there's nothing he can do now. Those were the pasts he couldn't participate in, and as for the present, Shen Jin won't let him participate, only wanting him to be treated like a stranger...
Yan Yu lowered his gaze. During the time he had kept his distance from Shen Jin at his behest, his heart had ached every single day, but there was nothing he could do about it.
"He said that time heals all wounds, and maybe after a while, when this feeling is gone, it won't hurt anymore..." Yan Yu thought to himself, and then reached out and scratched his chest a few times, the pain still clear.
He didn't know if Shen Jin was lying to him, but at least it still hurt...
While Yan Yu was in a daze, the old lady suddenly came out from inside. Seeing him standing motionless by the door, she couldn't help but walk over and slap him on the back: "What are you standing here like an idiot for? If you feel cold outside, go back to your room and sleep."
Startled by her, Yan Yu, who was in a daze, changed his expression and called out, "Grandma..."
Shen Jin, who was sitting on the swing outside the door, watching the snow and chatting with Xiao Qing, heard the old lady's words and couldn't help but turn around to look. His eyes met Yan Yu's.
Yan Yu felt a little guilty and tried to look away, blinking rapidly a few times before awkwardly walking out. He explained to Shen Jin, "I didn't mean to listen... I just..."
Before he could finish speaking, Shen Jin shook his head and smiled nonchalantly, saying in a light tone, "It's nothing."
And so the topic ended.
Yan Yu pursed his lips, feeling somewhat hurt. Even though he had listened to Shen Jin and tried his best not to appear at his annual review to avoid attracting attention, he still couldn't control his heart and was still sad.
But even now, he still hasn't found an opportunity to speak with him...
"Hmm..." Yan Yu lowered his eyes and responded. He knew that Shen Jin probably didn't want to see him if he stayed here, so he didn't want Shen Jin to hate him even more, so he obediently turned around and left.
From a distance, his figure appeared tall and thin. After lying in the hospital bed for so long, he had lost a lot of weight. Looking at him now, he seemed frail and lonely, and even a little pitiful.
Shen Jin withdrew his gaze and glanced indifferently at the snow outside. It was falling gently, swirling in the wind, and covering the small village with a layer of pure white, which was extremely beautiful.
Xiaoqing glanced at Yan Yu's lonely and pitiful back, then at Chen Jin who was intently watching the snow, and felt a little strange. She couldn't help but ask, "You two... are you going to keep going like this?"
"What's wrong?" Shen Jin turned around and glanced at her.
"This feels weird, I feel like something's not right," Xiaoqing frowned, thought for a moment, but still couldn't figure it out, and could only sigh softly, "But I can't quite put my finger on it, it just feels..."
"If I can't say, then I won't. It's not something too important. Since I can't remember, why bother worrying about it?" Shen Jin smiled and changed the subject, asking, "By the way, the New Year is coming soon. How are you celebrating here?"
“What do you mean by how to celebrate? Just keep it simple,” Xiaoqing thought for a moment and told him, “It’s probably about cleaning, buying New Year’s goods, putting up Spring Festival couplets, celebrating the Spring Festival, setting off firecrackers and fireworks, staying up all night, having New Year’s Eve dinner, visiting relatives and friends, etc. It’s quite lively.”
As she spoke, Shen Jin imagined the scene and found it quite lively.
The Lunar New Year is getting more and more boring these days. Fireworks and fireworks are not allowed in the city, so the New Year is quiet and doesn't feel like much. But here there are not so many taboos, so it should be more lively.
"But how come you have firecrackers and fireworks?" Shen Jin couldn't help but ask.
“Nonsense, fireworks and firecrackers are all made by people, aren’t they? Many people here can make them. Self-reliance is the way to go,” Xiaoqing smiled and added, “And sometimes everyone goes out to buy things. They should be here soon. It’s usually the men here who go out.”
Shen Jin suddenly felt a little tempted: "Can I come along?"
"Huh?" Xiaoqing was startled, paused for a moment, and asked somewhat blankly, "You're... leaving?"
Shen Jin smiled and said, "No, I was just curious and went out to take a look. I will come back with them. Besides, you are probably going to a small town nearby. I don't think you know the way. I want to spend the New Year here. It's lively."
He had indeed stayed in these deep mountains for quite some time, and he was starting to get curious about what was happening outside, so he couldn't resist the urge to go out and take a look.
Shen Jin told the old lady about it, and after they discussed it, the old lady had no objections and agreed. She even went to talk to the team that was going out and asked them to take him with them.
When Yan Yu found out, he was devastated. He had been feeling down and depressed lately, and he had placed all his hopes on Chen Jin, but had not received a single response.
"He's leaving..." The voice kept echoing in Yan Yu's mind, tormenting him, repeating over and over, "Shen Jin is leaving, leaving this place, leaving me..."
This made him very sad and miserable. He was in a daze, as if he had suddenly lost his direction and goals, like a leaf that had fallen on the sea, not knowing where it was going or what direction it was heading.
As if grasping at a straw, Yan Yu nervously approached Chen Jin, his eyes slightly red, and asked with a pleading tone, "Can you please not leave..."
Shen Jin's eyes flickered slightly. Not wanting to see him like this, she looked away and said in a calm tone, "I'm just leaving temporarily. I'll be back."
Yan Yu had heard this from the old lady, but he just couldn't believe it, couldn't feel at ease. He could only ask Shen Jin with a slight sob in his voice, "Then can you take me with you? I promise I'll be very good... I won't cause any trouble, and I won't cause you any trouble. I'll be obedient, so can you..."
Don't leave me... I'm scared.
Yan Yu's eyes were completely red; he was afraid. But Shen Jin closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and said without any hesitation, "No."
Shen Jin still left the place with the other group. It was snowing heavily that day. After the old lady and Xiao Qing gave him some instructions, they were still worried.
"Remember to be careful!" the old lady said with a smile from behind. "Wear warm clothes, or you'll catch a cold!"
"I know, I'm not a child." Shen Jin couldn't help but smile and waved to them. "I'm really leaving."
Shen Jin glanced at the old lady, then at Xiao Qing, and then lightly swept his gaze over Yan Yu, who was about to cry, before turning and leaving.
Yan Yu stood in the heavy snow, his eyes red, watching Shen Jin's retreating figure as he walked away without looking back. As he watched him walk further and further away, a bad premonition suddenly arose in his heart, a feeling that Shen Jin, once gone, would probably never return...
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