Chapter 115 How could it be so terribly wrong?
Yan Weijin frowned and paced back and forth in the cell.
Lu Jinlan poured a cup of poisoned wine and handed it in, "Do you want to drink it while you think about it? This poison will take effect in fifteen minutes. I promise to reveal the answer before you close your eyes."
Yan Weijin glared at her. "What difference does it make whether she's the villain or you are? It's all for the sake of protecting the Yan clan."
“No!” Lu Jinlan immediately retorted, “If she wanted to protect the Yan clan, why didn’t she protect you? Those clansmen are nothing compared to your own mother.”
“If she only wanted to protect you, why didn’t she just kill me? Given the trust between us, even if she put a knife to my throat, I would have just taken it as a joke.”
Yan Weijin asked, puzzled, "Why is that?"
Lu Jinlan gestured again, "Please sit down and let's talk. You're making me dizzy."
Yan Weijin sat down, still angry. "Speak."
Lu Jinlan smiled and said, "Let me tell you a story. When we were at the border, we once accidentally entered a poisonous forest and fell into a swamp, where I was on the verge of death."
"Everyone was poisoned at the time, making it difficult for them to move and leaving them with no strength. Fortunately, her poisoning was mild, so she went back to get a rope and called for rescue."
"Ruzhen took a dagger and cut her arm repeatedly, trying to stay conscious by bleeding herself."
"She wanted to save me, but later realized she couldn't. So she said there was nothing she could do, and she could only die with me in the desolate place."
Yan Weijin scoffed, "Foolish!"
Lu Jinlan smiled and nodded, "Yes, someone as shrewd as you wouldn't understand that feeling."
"Foolish people like us will do anything to protect our most cherished friendships and dearest friends."
"As you just said, in your case, there is no difference between Wu Xin being the bad guy and me being the bad guy."
“Everyone knows that she and I are best friends. Everyone knows that she did this for me, but she still did it.”
"If she doesn't make a move, your people will hate me alone. If she does, your people will hate both of us."
Yan Weijin was even more confused, "Then what's the benefit of her doing this?"
Lu Jinlan shook her head. "There's no benefit in it. What benefit is there in me standing on the opposite side of you? No matter what she chooses, it would be wrong, but in the end, she chose me."
"The most fundamental reason is, of course, that you made one mistake after another, making the situation so tense that it was beyond repair."
"Based on right and wrong, she chose me. But regardless of the facts, she went against you and will have to face the condemnation of the world. If she wanted any benefits, she really shouldn't have chosen me."
"But she did it anyway. Since there was no way to have the best of both worlds, she chose to share my joys and sorrows."
"Even if it means bearing the world's condemnation, the hateful gazes, and even attacks, she will still do it. At least that way, she will feel a little better."
"We are all mortals, and mortals will always encounter problems that are difficult to solve. But when fate traps us and we are powerless to resist, we will still firmly choose to stand with each other."
Even in dire straits, if there are people standing shoulder to shoulder with you, what is there to complain about? What is there to fear?
Lu Jinlan stared intently at Yan Weijin, her gaze seemingly able to penetrate flesh and blood and see into a person's heart.
She said, "I can treat you so calmly because I know clearly that God has been kind to me. I have lost some things, but I have gained more. I have two true friends who would die for me."
"Is your irritability due to feeling that Heaven has wronged you? Or is your heart filled with fear and resentment, fearing that you will have no face to meet your deceased relatives in the underworld?"
Yan Weijin's heart skipped a beat. He paused for a moment, then insisted, "What happened back then was a dead end. I had no choice at all."
As she recalled the past, her emotions became so intense that her breathing became heavy again.
She had always believed that she had done nothing wrong back then, but never before had she been so eager to defend herself.
She spoke quickly, "Back then, when I had not yet established myself in the clan, I could only use the lure of the Yan family bloodline as the future crown prince to get everyone's full support for me."
“Feiqing is my best friend, and I didn’t mean to harm her. But her younger brother is also pregnant with the Emperor’s child, and he’s the legal husband. I really have no choice. If the Yan family doesn’t support me, I won’t be able to become the Prime Minister…”
"Have you discussed this with Gu Feiqing?" Lu Jinlan interrupted her coldly.
Yan Weijin froze, then pursed his lips. "Is there any need to discuss this? I want to kill her brother and his child. Do you think she would allow it?"
Lu Jinlan shook her head repeatedly, "No! There's no need for that. You can tell her your difficulties. There's more than one way to solve a problem."
"Why must Gu Huaiyu die? Can't he abdicate? Can't he leave? Can't he come back after you become prime minister?"
With red eyes, Lu Jinlan launched into a series of questions, then sighed, "You're always like this, acting arbitrarily, pushing things to a dead end, and then self-righteously saying that you had no choice."
"Actually, it's you who don't give others a choice. You don't give Gu Feiqing a chance to choose, and you don't give me a chance to choose either."
Yan Weijin said coldly, "I must nip any potential threats in the bud. I will not give anyone the chance to betray me!"
"Oh?" Lu Jinlan blinked and looked around. "Then how did you get in here?"
Yan Weijin gritted his teeth in anger, "You..."
Lu Jinlan smiled. "You are so shrewd, yet you forced the person in this world who least wanted to betray you to betray you. Even now, you still stubbornly believe that you are not wrong."
Yan Weijin's face was tense. After a moment, he said, "At least back then, I wasn't wrong. Even if I told Gu Feiqing what happened, what good would it do?"
"That involves the positions of Prime Minister, Imperial Consort, and Eldest Daughter of the Emperor. All their family's wealth and glory would have to be handed over to me. How could she agree to that? If you were in her shoes, would you be willing to accept it?"
Lu Jinlan laughed and said, "I don't have such selfish friends, and no one has ever told me that they would take away everything that I should have."
"But if my friend is in trouble, I will willingly give everything. What do people who can share life and death care about wealth and fame?"
"What I don't understand is that you keep saying what you want, but you never consider what your friend wants. You are so stingy that you don't even give her a choice, and you even want to deprive her of the right to live."
Yan Weijin looked at Lu Jinlan with complicated eyes, and then said decisively, "Gu Feiqing is not a fool like you. She would never do that."
Lu Jinlan chuckled and said sarcastically, "That's right. Even if we're stupid, we can still tell the difference between good and bad people. We won't become close friends with someone like you."
"You should only befriend people like Gu Feiqing, because she's even more stupid than us. She'll probably never understand why you would suddenly turn against her until the day she dies."
Yan Weijin took a deep breath. "Alright, I admit it. I wronged the Gu family back then. Today, I will give you my life."
As she spoke, she decisively picked up the glass of poisoned wine and drank it all in one gulp.
Lu Jinlan's face remained calm and undisturbed. He simply said, "You owe me more than one life, but if you can tell me the truth that I most want to know, then we'll be even."
What do you want to know?
"The Emperor's attitude."
Yan Weijin nodded and said in a low voice, "Before the uprising, I made a deal with the Emperor. She promised me the position of Prime Minister, and promised that I could choose a man from the Yan family to enter the palace as the Emperor's consort, and that a child with the blood of the Yan family would become the future Crown Prince."
"And I, along with the entire Yan clan and the forces I held at the time, did my utmost to help her ascend the throne."
"After the deal was struck, I learned that Gu Huaiyu was pregnant. So I told Zhao Mincheng that if the child was a boy, we could keep it. But if it was a girl, we couldn't keep her."
Lu Jinlan hurriedly asked, "What did she say?"
Yan Weijin sighed softly, a hint of pity in his eyes. "She only said two words: 'Okay.'"
Lu Jinlan closed her eyes in pain, and Yan Weijin continued, "Later, I eliminated Gu Huaiyu, but the news leaked out. Gu Feiqing took you away, and I sent more than a dozen groups of people to hunt her down. The last news I received about her was that she was seriously injured and then disappeared."
Lu Jinlan nodded and said, "No wonder Ling Zhijing said before she died that I would be ruined and abandoned by everyone. It's because she experienced what happened back then and knows your character."
"Once you realize that I know the truth, you will definitely be ruthless and want to get rid of me as soon as possible. Even if there is a connection with Wu Xin, even if I say I will not pursue the matter, it will be useless."
Yan Weijin sighed helplessly, "It's not that I want to dwell on the past, but I've experienced too many betrayals, and I simply can't allow myself to create hidden dangers for the future."
"Ling Zhijing really understands me. The relationship between me, Zhao Mincheng, and Ling Zhijing is probably the strangest in the world."
“We know each other, and we are wary of each other. We once fought side by side, but we also regarded each other as mortal enemies. They know me, and I know them. Now that Ling Zhijing is dead, I am about to die as well. Zhao Mincheng has finally removed all the thorns in her side and become the final winner.”
"It is said that the words of a dying person are kind, so let me give you a few words of advice."
Yan Weijin calmed down, and like a kind old man, said gently, "My ruthlessness, suspicion, and cold-bloodedness are not even one ten-thousandth of that emperor's. Among the three of us, Ling Zhijing is the most sentimental, followed by me. And Zhao Mincheng? He has almost no feelings to speak of."
"She liked Gu Huaiyu so much back then, but what do her beloved and her daughter matter when it comes to the position of power? She would not hesitate to use the latter as a sacrifice."
"Trust me, don't hang around in front of her. Once she realizes that you know the whole truth, she won't see you as her daughter, but as an enemy with whom she has a blood feud."
“She’s more sensitive to potential threats than I am, and she’ll handle them more thoroughly and cleanly. You’re no match for her; try to get out of there.”
"However, on the other hand, right now, I'm afraid it will be difficult for you to get away."
"Because you have royal blood, military merits and prestige, and you also have an army. The Song family army and the Chicheng army combined are even more terrifying than the Ling family army back then."
"Given Ling Zhijing's experience, she won't send you to the military again."
"She will probably use the same methods she used on Ling Zhijing on you, keeping you in the capital and your army at the border. This will prevent you from ever raising an army and threatening her throne."
Lu Jinlan nodded. "You're right. Wu Xin probably thought of that too. That's why she has already requested permission to leave the capital and go to the border to command the Chicheng Army."
“My identity is a concern for the Emperor, and she will definitely not let me go. But the Chicheng Army is very important. It is a strong army that the three of us built up, and it is our hard work.”
"Given what happened to Wuxin, it's perfectly reasonable for her to want to leave the capital, and there's nothing suspicious about her going to the army. I bet the Emperor would never guess that Wuxin is preparing for whatever might happen in the future."
Yan Weijin suddenly realized, "So that's how it is. My daughter is indeed better at understanding people than I am. Her judgments are also more accurate and ahead of her time."
"Actually, the reason why the Emperor threw me into the imperial prison was not because I killed your father or because of Wu Xin's denunciation. It was because she wanted to get rid of me. Wu Xin was just taking advantage of the Emperor's thoughts."
Yan Weijin gave a bitter smile, then suddenly felt a bit smug. "Zhao Mincheng is arrogant and scheming, but she has no idea that she would be used by a young man, and that young man is my daughter."
Yan Weijin coughed, patted her burning chest, and hurriedly said, "Please tell Wuxin that I know who really killed me, and I don't hate her anymore."
Lu Jinlan replied, "I will pass on the message for you."
Yan Weijin added, "Tell Wuxin that with such cunning, why should she be a military general? She should be the prime minister, second only to the emperor. Stop indulging in pleasure and neglecting her duties."
Lu Jinlan shook her head, "Then you're wrong."
"Wrong? I was wrong again?" Yan Weijin smiled awkwardly. "I suddenly realized today that I'm always wrong."
Lu Jinlan said, "It's one thing for her to be insightful and cunning, but it's another thing for her to choose how to live her life. She has the right to live her life the way she likes. You don't need to worry about her, much less make decisions for her."
Yan Weijin nodded blankly, "That's right, you young people always have your own ideas, and I was wrong again. Here, this wine is good, pour me another glass."
Lu Jinlan poured her another cup of poisoned wine. After Yan Weijin drank it, the poison seemed to be taking effect.
She could vaguely sense the changes within her body, so she racked her brains trying to think of anything she hadn't told anyone.
How absurd! On his last day, he actually gave his last words to his enemy, fearing that he might have forgotten something, and even worried about this enemy.
"The Emperor ordered you to deliver the poisoned wine. She has ulterior motives. After all, I am Wuxin's mother. Isn't she forcing you and Wuxin to hate each other?"
Lu Jinlan said, "I understand, and I believe Wuxin also understands the Emperor's intentions. But we will not hold grudges against each other, never."
"Great! Very good!" Yan Weijin nodded repeatedly. She, who was always very proud, suddenly became flustered, like a helpless child who was afraid of being laughed at.
She said, "Actually, I understand now, although it's too late."
"I have nothing more to tell you. You...you must be careful, in case the Emperor becomes suspicious..."
Lu Jinlan quickly replied, "I will make preparations as soon as possible."
"That's good, cough!" Yan Weijin coughed again, blood already appearing at the corner of his mouth.
She drank another glass of wine, looking at the face that resembled that of an old friend. Memories of the past flooded back, and she couldn't help but feel a myriad of emotions.
“You know what? I wasn’t always like this. The day I cooked for you, everything I said was true.”
“I used to be just like you, hating evil as if it were my enemy, full of vigor and high spirits. I was full of enthusiasm and wanted to serve my country. I don’t know when I gradually changed.”
"My career was smooth sailing, rising through the ranks until I held great power and became the most powerful official. When I was restless at night, I would tell myself that I had obtained everything I wanted most."
"But I... I have actually had some regrets. I can't lie to myself. I know that I have lost a lot along the way."
Yan Weijin sighed deeply, filled with endless regret.
"But, my child, do you know? Of all the people I've lost, I miss myself the most."
"Back then, Yan Weijin was so dashing and righteous, so full of a sense of justice, he seemed to radiate light..."
As she reminisced about the past, her dull eyes suddenly lit up, as if she had returned to that spirited era.
"Feiqing and I met when we were young and inexperienced. People always looked down on us because of our poor family background, but we always comforted each other. We were the best students and the most capable among all the students."
"Although we often went hungry together back then, we said that one day we would be better off than anyone else, and when that happened, we would eat all the delicacies together..."
She suddenly choked up, tears streaming down her face. "I remember now, we promised to be together, how could I forget? Child, how could I forget?"
Blood spilled from her mouth. Looking at her aged face, blurred with blood and tears, Lu Jinlan felt a pang of pity.
She grasped Yan Weijin's outstretched hand, and Yan Weijin collapsed. Her mouth was full of blood, and her speech was slurred, yet she still asked unwillingly, "How could I have been so...wrong?"
Lu Jinlan didn't know how to answer, so he just gripped her tighter.
"Feiqing..." Yan Weijin suddenly called out Gu Feiqing's name to Lu Jinlan.
Lu Jinlan knew that she was already losing consciousness.
"I'm here," Lu Jinlan replied softly.
Yan Weijin struggled to open his eyes. "Feiqing, I had my reasons back then. I'm sorry, but you have to believe me, I really... I really had my difficulties... You, you must believe me..."
Lu Jinlan felt a lump in her throat, and after a moment of silence, she answered on behalf of her aunt, "I heard you."
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