Chapter 158 Let's Look at Our Children
Qingxuan didn't know whether he was panicked, excited, or scared. A mix of complex emotions surged up, leaving him frozen in place, his heart pounding wildly.
He tried his best to calm himself down, walked towards her step by step, then put his hands together, respectfully lowered his head as if he had just received his vows, and said in a calm tone: "This humble monk, Qingxuan, greets Your Majesty. As a person outside the secular world, it is inconvenient for me to pay homage with such grand ceremony. I hope Your Majesty will understand."
Lu Jinlan paused for a moment, then said calmly, "No need for formalities. I've come here incognito; there's no need for fanfare. It's getting late; do you have a place to rest here?"
Qingxuan's eyes widened in panic, and he hurriedly said, "This place is a thatched hut with an old earthen bed and a broken wooden bed, and we only have coarse tea and simple food. It is really inconvenient to receive Your Majesty. Please, Your Majesty and all the officials..."
This was clearly a way of keeping people at arm's length. Lu Jinlan smiled slightly and interrupted, "It's alright, I don't mind."
She glanced back at the others and said, "Let's all go inside and put our bags down. There's a grove of trees nearby; we'll go check there later to see if there's any game."
Lu Jinlan treated the guests as if they were in her own home, while Qingxuan opened his mouth, unsure of what to say.
The group pushed open the unassuming wooden door and went inside, only to be met with a collective "Whoa!"
Qingxuan was a clean freak; although his thatched hut was small, it was kept extremely clean, almost spotless.
The group put down their bags in the side room and discussed where they would stay for the night. Qingxuan quickly found a rag and wiped down the furnishings in the room again.
Seeing this, Yan Wuxin quietly pulled Lu Jinlan aside and asked, "Were you two really having an affair?"
Lu Jinlan: "It's good, otherwise where would the child come from?"
Yan Wuxin: "She doesn't look like she's given birth, and she doesn't seem to have any romantic feelings for you. Could there be some mistake?"
"That's definitely right."
She did it herself, how could she be wrong? The child is system-certified, so she can't be wrong either.
Lu Jinlan was very certain, but Qingxuan was really good at pretending. If you didn't know better, you would think that she had forcibly taken the woman and slandered her.
The two made a bet, and he voluntarily took off his clothes.
When things are good, we hug each other tightly, completely absorbed in each other, forgetting all about heaven, earth, and Buddha.
She woke up, dressed, and ran away, even while pregnant, fleeing to a distant land. Now she's acting like nothing happened, which makes it seem like Lu Jinlan is forcing her and coercing her into doing something.
Lu Jinlan had known he was like this for a long time; he had been like this back then.
That year, Qingxuan was only seventeen years old and was already very famous.
The late emperor ordered him to go and comfort the Marquis of Jing'an, but when this man saw Lu Jinlan, he kept spouting Buddhist and Buddhist sutras.
He recited scriptures at length for half a day, but Lu Jinlan ignored him, only focusing on sizing up his appearance.
Finally, she said to him, "As expected of the renowned Master Qingxuan, the rumors are indeed true. Master, you grew up in a Buddhist temple, listening to chanting and eating vegetarian food. You are so pure, elegant and handsome that you are truly a sight to behold."
Upon hearing this, Qingxuan knew that her chanting of scriptures for the past half-day had been in vain. Not only had it failed to alleviate Hou Jun's distress, it had also stirred up her wicked thoughts.
He immediately said, “Appearance is all superficial. As the Buddhists say, ‘There is no self, no other, no sentient being, and no life span.’ Therefore, in my eyes, all sentient beings are equal. There is no distinction between beauty and ugliness; they are all just bones supporting a skin, and they are all the same.”
Lu Jinlan smiled and nodded. "I understand. The saying goes, 'All forms are illusory. If one sees all forms as non-forms, then one sees the Tathagata.' It seems the Dharma Master has reached the state of 'seeing the Tathagata.' Since you see no distinction between beauty and ugliness in sentient beings, then is there no distinction between men and women?"
Qingxuan replied, "There is no difference; they are all just bones."
Lu Jinlan frowned slightly, feigning a conflicted expression. "Master, I really want to be baptized by Buddhism. But I am naturally suspicious. I neither believe in Buddhism nor in your sincerity in trying to save me."
Qingxuan hurriedly asked, "How can I convince Lord Hou?"
Lu Jinlan said, "Since you believe that there is no difference between us, please remove your clothes and be frank with me."
“This…” Qingxuan was stunned.
Lu Jinlan said, “See, I told you you weren’t sincere. Your Buddha could cut off his own flesh to feed an eagle and offer his body to a tiger. I won’t let you cut off your own flesh or offer your body to a tiger, and you won’t even take off a few clothes. You’re definitely not a devout Buddhist, and you can’t save me from this sea of suffering.”
Qingxuan hurriedly said, "That's not it. Since I was old enough to understand, I have been devoted to Buddhism. There is no one else in my heart but Buddha. If I can save Lord Hou from his suffering, I am willing to cut off my own flesh. It's just... it's just that removing his clothes would be a bit..."
Lu Jinlan: "Some people are born naked, and clothes are just a constraint. Does the Master care about clothes like worldly people do? Forget it, I see that you are not very knowledgeable about Buddhism, nor do you have the sincerity to save me. Go back and don't come again."
Qingxuan stood there, denying in a low voice, "That's not how it is..."
Qingxuan had been reciting Buddhist scriptures since childhood, and previously only felt that Buddhism was profound and mysterious. But after meeting Lu Jinlan that day, he realized that this Lord Lu was even more mysterious than the most profound, leaving no room for argument.
He hesitated for a moment, then gently removed his monk's robe, only to clutch the prayer beads in his hand even tighter.
Lu Jinlan sat with her back to him, and glimpsed this scene through the clear tea beside her. She curled the corner of her mouth and said, "Please lie down on the bed, Master."
Qingxuan hurriedly asked, "Why?"
Lu Jinlan said, "I can only listen to Buddhist teachings when I am lying down."
Qingxuan thought to himself that since he was a monk and the Marquis of Jing'an was of noble status, he would not do anything improper.
As soon as he lay down, Lu Jinlan lay down beside him and drew the bed curtains.
Although Qingxuan knew nothing about matters between men and women, he vaguely sensed something was amiss and quickly asked, "What is this?"
Lu Jinlan said calmly, "To listen to Buddhist teachings, you need a certain atmosphere."
That's true. Qingxuan thought: To listen to Buddhist teachings, one needs to isolate oneself from worldly affairs in order to achieve a state of mental and physical purity.
He spoke a few words, and Lu Jinlan said, "No, you are too far away from me, I can't feel the power of Buddhism."
"Then what should we do?"
"Holding me will make you feel better."
Qingxuan asked in surprise, "Women and men shouldn't touch each other, how can that be..."
"Ah, just now you said they were all bones. You, a skeleton enlightened by Buddhism, why dare you not embrace me, a skeleton drowning in the sea of suffering?"
Faced with Lu Jinlan's questioning, Qingxuan remained silent for a moment before saying bluntly, "I'm afraid that you, White Bone, may harbor evil thoughts and do something inappropriate to me."
Lu Jinlan chuckled, "Then let's make a bet. I will never force you to do anything. As long as you have no ulterior motives, I won't do anything to you. But you don't even dare to hold me. I'm afraid you have ulterior motives."
"No, this humble monk has no such thing." Qingxuan said firmly, and he stretched out his arms to gently embrace her. Lu Jinlan rolled into his arms and pressed herself against him.
Qingxuan's breath hitched, and she quickly closed her eyes, swallowing involuntarily. Her Adam's apple bobbed, and she heard her soft laughter in her ear.
The laughter, carrying a warm current, seemed to run to his ears as if it had feet, making his heart burn.
Lu Jinlan whispered in his ear with a smile, "Master, why are you so nervous?"
"No... I'm not nervous, but please don't speak so close to my ear, it's a little itchy."
Lu Jinlan: "Okay, then speak close to my ear, I won't mind. Closer, so I can hear you clearly."
Qingxuan hummed in agreement and began reciting the Heart Sutra in her ear.
"When Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva was practicing the profound Prajnaparamita..."
Lu Jinlan stirred slightly in his arms, doing nothing, but his mind began to wander. He wondered, "Did Buddha lie to me?"
How could there be no difference between women and men? When he took care of the young monks in the temple, he would hold them in his arms, but it wasn't like that at all. It's different, completely different.
"Master, why have you stopped chanting?"
Where had Qingxuan been reciting the poem? He had to start from the beginning: "When Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva was practicing the profound Prajnaparamita, he perceived that the five aggregates are all empty, and thus transcended all suffering and distress..."
"Master, do you know the difference between a woman's and a man's physical body?"
Qingxuan paused for a moment, and Lu Jinlan took his hand and placed it in front of her. "It's different here."
Qingxuan quickly withdrew his hand and earnestly chanted, "Shariputra, form is not different from emptiness, emptiness is not different from form; form is emptiness, emptiness is form; form is emptiness, emptiness is form..."
Lu Jinlan said with a smile, "Master, you've already recited this sentence twice. Your mind is in turmoil."
Qingxuan suddenly opened his eyes, "I'm not confused, I'm not confused..."
The words were firm, but the voice wasn't as confident as before.
Lu Jinlan moved closer, glancing down at her. "But I feel that you've changed."
Qingxuan stubbornly replied, "I haven't changed. It's all an illusion and evil thought. Don't think nonsense. Quickly let go of these evil thoughts."
Lu Jinlan didn't believe her. "Are you saying this to me, or to yourself?"
She leaned closer, her breath almost touching. Her voice was gentle and persuasive, "I've heard that the most effective teachings are passed down orally. Do you dare to try it? After all, form is emptiness."
Qingxuan knew she was talking nonsense, but for some reason, he was bewitched and leaned in. He pressed his lips to her warm lips, and in that instant, he could no longer recite a single verse.
Only by following one's instincts can one sink, sink, and sink again.
*
Lu Jinlan still remembered how engrossed he was that day; he would blush. Now, his face was stiff, he turned his back on her, and he acted like a sacred and inviolable saint, which made her grit her teeth in anger.
He wanted to pretend, but she wouldn't allow him to, determined to correct his stubbornness.
Lu Jinlan rolled up his sleeves and adopted the air of a master, "You were just about to wash the vegetables, right? I'll fetch you some water."
As Lu Jinlan was about to walk out of the house, Qingxuan quickly stopped her, "That's not something the Emperor should do, and this place... is not a place for the Emperor to come."
Lu Jinlan smiled, "With you here, how could I not come?"
This was blatant flirting. Regardless of Qingxuan's reaction, the others in the room were immediately embarrassed and wanted to hide.
Unfortunately, the two people were standing at the door talking, blocking the doorway.
Everyone pretended to be very busy, searching for something. Xu Lin peeked into the kang (heated brick bed) opening, wishing she could crawl inside.
But Lu Jinlan wasn't finished. She added, "I've come to see you, to see our child."
Before she could finish speaking, Xiang Ruzhen jumped out of the window, and Yan Wuxin quickly followed. Everyone was chased like dogs, jumping out one after another and running away as if fleeing.
Qingxuan said urgently, "Your Majesty, please don't say that. What will people think if you say that?"
He hurriedly chased after him into the courtyard and said loudly, "Gentlemen, please don't misunderstand. I have no affair with the Emperor, and we have no child together."
Everyone stopped in their tracks. Yan Wuxin stroked his chin and pointed at the child standing blankly by the door, asking, "Who is she?"
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