"Everyone has things they know are meaningless, yet can't help but cling to."
—Keigo Higashino, *Unrequited Love*
Yu Nian's unrequited love for Luo Sheng is like a fish chasing the sun; once it reaches the shore, there's no turning back.
The beginning of a crush:
Even if unrequited love is silent, it is still the beginning of my youth.
My name is Yu Nian, Yu as in the character for Yu Meiren (虞美人), and Nian as in longing.
His name is Luo Sheng, Luo from Luoyang, and Sheng from the phrase "peace and prosperity throughout the world".
Yu Nian and Luo Sheng are childhood sweethearts who have played together since they were young. Yu Nian's crush on Luo Sheng is not sudden, but premeditated.
Rather than saying Yu Nian and Luo Sheng were childhood sweethearts, it would be more accurate to say that Yu Nian was Luo Sheng's little follower. As for why, it's simply because their families were old friends and the two were supposedly betrothed as children. However, the so-called childhood sweethearts only had the "sweethearts" part, not the "baby-sisters" part.
The two families agreed to become in-laws in the year they were born. Yu Nian and Luo Sheng were both very promising, one a well-bred young lady and the other a prodigy. They were a perfect match in terms of family background and talent in the eyes of everyone.
The only regret is that childhood sweethearts can't compete with someone who comes along unexpectedly. Luo Sheng only treats her as a friend, or perhaps a confidante; she will never be his first choice. And how can someone who isn't his first choice be a firm decision to be chosen?
As Yu Nian grew up, she hated Luo Sheng for falling in love with baijiu (Chinese liquor), and she also hated herself for being so obsessed with the beautiful dream of lovers finally getting together that she couldn't wake up.
My unrequited love is deep in the ocean, I see the sun, but the sun does not see me. I only wish to become the moon year after year.
"Yu Nian, I have a basketball game this afternoon, remember to come watch." Luo Sheng's clear voice rang in her ears. Looking into the boy's clear eyes, Yu Nian did not refuse.
"good."
Basketball court in the afternoon.
After finishing her class, Yu Nian rushed to the convenience store under the blazing sun to buy a bottle of water before heading to the basketball court to watch her crush play.
As one of the most handsome men at Nanjing University, Luo Sheng naturally attracted countless fans to watch him play basketball. The basketball court was bustling with noise, but Yu Nian still spotted the person who had captured her heart for many years in the crowd.
As the match neared its end, Yu Nian watched as Luo Sheng used all his strength to score the last ball, causing the entire stadium to erupt in cheers.
Everyone was cheering for Luo Sheng, and Yu Nian thought to herself: He is indeed a good prospect for playing basketball.
The match is over; Nanyang University has won.
Yu Nian squeezed through the crowd, intending to hand the water she had bought to Luo Sheng as usual. There were only a few steps between them, but today it felt as if several impenetrable walls separated them.
The summer breeze made the back of Yu Nian's head feel hot, and the bright sun made her unable to open her eyes.
Just as Yu Nian was about to call out to Luo Sheng, she saw that Luo Sheng had already taken water from another girl, a bottle of orange juice that was already half-finished.
Orange juice, yes, that's his favorite drink.
From his first year of high school to his second year of university, this was the first time Luo Sheng hadn't drunk the water she had given him. Thinking about this, Yu Nian felt a little strange but couldn't quite put her finger on it.
But they were childhood sweethearts, everyone at Nanyang University knew that, so Yu Nian couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed in front of everyone.
Not long after, Yu Nian watched the girl run away shyly, then called out to Luo Sheng, who had a smile on his lips.
"Luo Sheng, congratulations on your victory. Here, would you like some more water?"
Luo Sheng, who was called out, was slightly taken aback, seemingly unaware that Yu Nian had just seen someone fawning over him.
Yes, that's right. It should just be a simple gift of water to the school heartthrob, if Yu Nian hadn't seen the half-bottle of orange juice.
"Drink. Niannian, why are you only arriving now? My competition is already over. This isn't like you. Our feelings have faded, Niannian. You usually come to watch my competitions very early." The boy's tone was like he was coaxing her, as if they were the golden couple in everyone's eyes at Nanjing University, a perfect match.
"What, why are you here so early? Are you here to see other girls bring you water? I went to the trouble of buying this water as soon as get out of class was over!"
The girl's voice carried a hint of dissatisfaction.
Although she knew this was just the usual treatment the school heartthrob received, Yu Nian still felt a little uncomfortable.
She stared into Luo Sheng's eyes, and whether it was her imagination or not, Yu Nian still managed to pinpoint the slight unnaturalness in his gaze.
"Niannian, you saw it all." The boy scratched his head awkwardly.
"I didn't feel like drinking water today, so I wanted orange juice instead. I couldn't find you, so I drank that girl's water instead. Don't worry about it, Niannian. See, your water wasn't wasted, I drank it all."
Seeing that the other person had indeed finished drinking all the water she had brought, Yu Nian decided not to make a fuss.
Since that's the case, she should just buy an extra bottle next time and bring it with her. That way, he probably won't drink other girls' water.
See how terrible it is to like someone. Even though the two of you are not together, a strange possessiveness is quietly growing inside you.
Long ago, she thought Luo Sheng only liked orange juice, but later, when Yu Nian saw him take coconut juice, which he didn't like, from that girl's hand, she realized that even the affection she held in her heart could not be cherished.
[Those who secretly love someone are usually extremely cautious.]
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