Chapter 147 The mind can lie, but the heart cannot.
"Maybe he figured it out, or maybe he finally understood his own heart and knew whether he wanted Shi Yiqiao or Si Yiqiao. He didn't come looking for me, so I didn't go looking for him either."
With a soft laugh, Shi Yiqiao slowly closed her eyes, put her cold hands into her pockets, and tucked her face into her scarf.
"I was so lost during that time. It wasn't about my feelings, it was that I didn't know where I should go, and I didn't know what I should do in the decades to come without Siwei."
Quite by chance, on the day of the move, one of the few belongings he brought out of the man's house was missing.
Shi Yiqiao looked at Lu Zhenyu with a faint smile in her eyes, "Perhaps Zhenzhen, you can understand, when you see the long-discontinued model of the long-lined microphone fall out from the bottom of the box, the feeling at that moment is that the forgotten 21-year-old Shi Yiqiao suddenly bumps into the 30-year-old her."
Lu Zhenyu smiled and nodded, "I understand."
Shi Yiqiao nodded with a smile, "Yes, we all understand, and then I took it and ran here."
Fate can be so cruel.
Looking back, that 21-year-old girl who received a first-class scholarship every year and whose professional abilities were highly regarded by her senior colleagues in journalism changed the course of her life overnight because of a chance interview with the heir of Siqing Arms Group.
At that time, the man said to her, "Stop being a reporter, be my woman. Have you ever seen the corruption and extravagance of Beijing? I'll let you see it all you want in the future."
But later, he also said, "I'm throwing hundreds of millions at you, not so you'll give me attitude every day. If you can get along, great; if not, get lost."
So Shi Yiqiao left, deliberately going very far away, not wanting to see that man again or have anything to do with him anymore.
After going around in circles, we return to the very beginning of our lives.
Lu Zhenyu asked her, "Are you scared here?"
"I was scared," the girl said frankly. "The first time I was at an explosion site, I was so scared that I collapsed on the ground for half an hour."
Shi Yiqiao recalled, "But when I saw that my reports had been reposted over ten million times, and that viewers from all over the world were leaving comments, spontaneously organizing donations, and joining forces to call for world peace, I suddenly stopped being afraid."
Lu Zhenyu saw the gleam in Shi Yiqiao's eyes, and she knew that this was something more important than death to the young woman: a sense of accomplishment.
The sense of accomplishment earned by oneself, without relying on anyone else.
Behind the sense of accomplishment is the story of a girl who had lost her way and rediscovered the self she had lost.
Lu Zhenyu raised her hand and patted that thin shoulder, feeling both gratified and admiring, "Yiqiao, you are really great."
Shi Yiqiao, however, caught the emotion hidden in a corner of her eyes, "Aren't you great too?"
Lu Zhenyu remained silent.
Shi Yiqiao knew what her sudden silence meant. He stared at the girl with her head down for a while before looking up at the sunset.
“You know, Zhenzhen, the biggest thing I’ve learned in the past four years here is to learn to despise others.”
"How so?"
"No longer clinging, no longer resentful. Perhaps it's because I've become accustomed to life and death. Things that I used to care about to die are no longer important to me now."
Lu Zhenyu then looked at the crimson glow, "Then what is the most important thing?"
Shi Yiqiao took in the girl's bewilderment, smiled, and put his arm around her shoulder. "Nothing matters, because you can't take anything with you when you die. So just do whatever you want, live the life you want, do the life you want, love the life you want, and live life to the fullest."
She paused, her tone softening, "Zhenzhen, perhaps you don't remember, but I do."
Turning around, Shi Yiqiao met the girl's hazy eyes. "That was when you were five months pregnant. I asked you a question."
Lu Zhenyu, "What?"
"Are you happy?"
"What should I say?"
You answer me, 'I am very happy.'
While Lu Zhenyu was still in shock, Shi Yiqiao smoothed her long hair and said, "I can tell that you were telling the truth back then."
"Then let me ask you again, Lu Zhenyu, are you happy now?"
Are you happy?
Although it wasn't painful, it didn't seem to have reached the level of happiness either.
Lu Zhenyu lowered her eyes. "I can only say that I am very free and relatively happy."
Shi Yiqiao nodded, “Happiness is a feeling, while bliss is a state of being. They are not contradictory, yet they are different.”
Mood depends on the environment, so happiness can only be temporary;
A state of being depends on one's inner state; it may not be able to be retained, but it will become an eternal memory that one will savor whenever one recalls it.
“Zhenzhen, although you are a very talented writer, I, who am two years older than you and a half-baked life mentor, still have to give you a lesson.”
Lu Zhenyu stood up and said, "Please, Teacher Shi, don't hesitate to give me your guidance."
Shi Yiqiao looked up and laughed twice.
After a hearty laugh, he stepped forward, hugged the girl, and patted her back.
"A hundred people telling you about your past with him is not as good as you finding it yourself."
The body in his arms paused.
Shi Yiqiao continued, "Don't limit yourself, don't be bound by what others say about the past. You are not living for Lu Zhenyu in the past, you have always been yourself."
She has always been herself, but...
Lu Zhenyu pursed her lips, "But I don't remember myself."
Shi Yiqiao, tilting his head to look at the girl, laughed, "If you keep waiting for your memories to return, then go and ask your heart first."
The truth is, the heart never lies, only the brain does.
Lu Zhenyu, her eyes glazed over, fell silent.
She was pondering Shi Yiqiao's words, but the girl, deeply lost in the fog, couldn't easily escape from the confusion based on just a few words.
The way the girl's brows were furrowed into a V-shape amused Shi Yiqiao, who then pinched her cheek affectionately.
"Of course, you should also try not to bring your professional habits into your life. Actually, it's better to be a little naive, because once you think too much and see too clearly, you will be bound in your tracks and even led astray. What we really want is most likely to be obtained by thinking less and searching more."
-
The trip to Syria is drawing to a close.
After Lu Zhenyu arrived, this makeshift refugee camp, hastily set up by Shi Yiqiao, gradually got on the right track.
Some saw hope for survival, some found direction for the future; in short, it seemed that everything was moving in a positive direction.
It's rare to have some free time today, so in the evening, a few girls got together for drinks and chatted about their thoughts and feelings.
Over the past month, everyone has witnessed Lu Zhenyu's drinking capacity firsthand, so tonight's drinking session is a revenge alliance. The girls are united against the common enemy, determined to drink the great demon Lu completely under the table.
Outnumbered, Lu Zhenyu began to feel lightheaded after downing a whole bottle of whiskey.
The others weren't much better off; the small barracks were occasionally filled with the cheerful laughter of the girls.
The stark contrast between the deathly silence of the adjacent men's dormitory and the surrounding area was overwhelming.
In the barracks, where the charcoal fire grew sparser and sparser, even the cold air was quiet.
The two men on the sofa were sitting down, one slumped over the other. Si Wei occasionally muttered a few words to himself, while Shen Jingsi remained silent the entire time. Their only interaction was when they clinked glasses.
"Tell me, how can a woman be so cold-blooded and ruthless when she gets cruel?"
After being turned away by his ex-girlfriend for several days, Siwei felt increasingly cold as he drank, and he kept feeling cold in his mouth.
“I felt sorry for her, so I let her come back with me. I told her she could choose whatever resources or big directors she wanted. But instead, she slapped me and called me a bastard.”
"You're not?"
Am I?
Shen Jingsi didn't even bother to look at him. "Who is Shi Yiqiao?"
"My ex-girlfriend."
Who is Si Yiqiao?
"..." Si Wei was speechless. "Didn't I already say it was a misunderstanding? In my entire life, apart from the perverted things I did in bed with Shi Yiqiao, when have I ever been a pervert? And there's no way I could like my own sister!"
Shen Jingsi took a sip of his wine and snorted coldly, "We know it's a misunderstanding, but does your ex-girlfriend know?"
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