Chapter 100 Loving Yourself More
The boy breathed a sigh of relief when Qin Jin'an quieted down.
She was overweight, and apart from her grandmother, everyone else disliked her.
The girl seemed to like him a lot. He had no friends, no one would treat him like that, and no one would dare to.
But where is she?
He had never seen her, nor could he find her.
Her head was so hard, it hurt his chest. She seemed to be asleep.
It's good that he's asleep; he won't bother you if he's asleep.
He carefully reached out and gently moved the rock-like head, making it feel a little better once it was no longer pressing against the bone.
...
Qin Tianjiang returned home, and the house was quiet.
He went to the kitchen, where a pot of chicken soup was still there.
Qin Tianjiang closed the lid and left the kitchen. He didn't go to the main house, but instead went to the side room to sleep for a while.
He couldn't sleep, so he stretched out his hand and looked at it. There was nothing special about it.
They weren't as pretty as a scholar's hands, but they were like the hands of an ordinary farmer, though without their roughness.
He works, but he's not particularly diligent.
He dared not think about what it would be like to lose his fingers; just thinking about it made his fingers ache.
He curled up, put his fingers in his mouth and bit them, then drifted off to sleep with a drowsy head.
As dawn broke, Qin Tianjiang woke up and went to see Ling Shi again.
Ling still did not eat or drink.
Qin Tianjiang looked guilty: "Chun'er, have a bite."
Ling closed her eyes and ignored it; she had no hope of surviving.
"I won't gamble again next time, please believe me this time."
Qin Tianjiang added that, for some reason, he hadn't told Ling about what happened in the Qin family.
Ling ignored him, and Qin Tianjiang felt extremely distressed: "What do I have to do for you to forgive me?"
Upon hearing his words, Madam Ling laughed sarcastically.
"Hehehe..."
Ling laughed, her body trembling, tears streaming down her closed eyes.
Is it that she doesn't want to forgive? Is it that she doesn't want to live a good life?
When Qin Tianjiang asked that question, Ling knew he was beyond saving and nothing could be changed.
She turned around, and in her line of sight was a frail baby. This was her fourth daughter, weighing less than five pounds. She was so weak that even her existence was a mistake.
"Chun'er, please don't do this, I beg you..."
Hearing Ling's sarcastic laughter, Qin Tianjiang felt his scalp tingle. He was panicked. He remembered that Qin had said she wasn't saving him, but his wife and daughter. Qin Tianjiang knew what she meant, but he just didn't want to believe it.
But now, he was starting to believe it. Five lives had been lost—his wife and daughters. What was he going to do with his six fingers?
Qin Tianjiang got up in a disheveled state and left.
His three daughters all acted as if he didn't exist.
Qin Tianjiang picked up his basket and went out.
He began to work.
Qin Xiaocui saw that his expression did not change and did not call out to him.
When Qin Tianjiang returned home in the evening, the chicken soup in the kitchen was still untouched, and he swallowed hard.
"If your mother isn't eating, why aren't you eating either?"
Qin Tianjiang looked at his three daughters and asked, but the chicken soup remained untouched, leaving him with a bitter feeling.
"Dad can eat whatever he wants; he doesn't need to worry about us."
Qin Xiaocui said calmly.
She still had to work. She might only be able to stay at home for ten days or so, but she wanted to do as much work as possible because her mother was still in postpartum confinement.
Qin Tianjiang lowered his head, feeling unable to swallow the food in his mouth.
He didn't ask any more questions.
Qin Xiaocui carried the chicken soup into the house, and Ling felt a sharp pain in her heart when she heard the footsteps.
"Mom, please eat something. Don't worry about me and my second sister. I will take good care of her."
Qin Xiaocui said softly, knowing that her fate could not be changed and she could only accept it.
"Xiaocui, my heart aches. I can't face it. I brought you into this world, but I couldn't protect you. I'm so sorry."
Looking at Qin Xiaocui, the fourteen-year-old girl was like a budding flower on a branch. Even if marriage might not be good, it would still be better than going to a place like that.
Qin Xiaocui lowered her head, tears falling silently.
“Xiao Cui, your father can’t change. If I watch you two sisters get arrested this time, one day my third and fourth sisters will also be arrested. I can’t go on living like this. Buy some arsenic, and let’s all five of us go together…”
When Ling revealed her plans, she felt excruciating pain.
She thought, "I just want to be free."
Qin Xiaocui looked up in shock, her tearful eyes meeting her mother's heartbroken gaze, which was filled with despair.
Tears streamed down Qin Xiaocui's face, but she nodded in an instant: "Okay, I'll go buy some tomorrow. Can Mother eat something now? Let's eat our fill so we won't go hungry on the way. I'll kill another chicken tomorrow, okay?"
Rather than be sold and tortured to death, she would rather travel with her mother and sister.
Ling nodded with tears in her eyes: "Alright, you all eat too. You've suffered so much these past years. Let your younger sister eat it all and finish all this chicken soup."
The chicken soup smells delicious today, but tomorrow she'll put poison in it because she's afraid the children won't be able to taste the flavor.
Qin Xiaocui helped Ling Shi up, and Ling Shi drank soup and ate meat.
She urged Qin Xiaocui to go out to eat.
Qin Xiaocui nodded, went back to the kitchen, took a bowl, and served a large bowl to her two younger sisters.
"Eat up, Mom told us to eat. Eat your fill so you can sleep better."
Qin Xiaocui smiled and touched her second and third sisters' hair.
With her words, both younger sisters happily began to eat.
Qin Tianjiang felt relieved after seeing that the children had all eaten.
He went to the main house to peek and found that Madam Ling was also eating. He felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from his heart.
Not long after Ling finished eating, she began feeding her fourth daughter.
Having already decided to die, he should at least let his fourth daughter have a bite to eat.
The mother and her three daughters finished the whole pot of chicken soup.
After washing up, Qin Tianjiang went back to his room to sleep. He smiled and leaned against Ling Shi, saying, "Chun'er, I will never gamble again. This time, I am definitely not lying to you."
He didn't mention paying off the debt, only talking about the future.
Ling didn't respond. Her heart was dead. She didn't care about his future. She only knew that she would take her daughter with her, so that the mother and daughter wouldn't be alone in the afterlife.
She has no worries in her heart.
Qin Tianjiang and his brothers had long since separated their households. He was the youngest son, his father had passed away, and his mother was being raised by his two older brothers. She had not been able to give birth to a son, and his brothers and sisters-in-law rarely interacted with him, nor did his mother-in-law ever visit them.
Perhaps after she dies, they will find Qin Tianjiang a new wife, and perhaps soon he will have a new child.
None of that mattered anymore, because by then the grass on her and her child's graves was already quite tall...
Qin Tianjiang thought everything was fine, so he slept soundly.
He went to work early the next morning. He still felt guilty, so he wanted to do his best during this period.
Qin Xiaocui entered Liuzhou City, using the money given to her by the handkerchief. She bought arsenic and several large meat buns before returning home.
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