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Xin Yi never expected that Thirteen Sister would die.
"But why are they the ones who have to sacrifice themselves! Does your great path, your perfect accomplishment, need to be forged with the blood of others?"
Xin Yi knew the hatred in Lu Kou's eyes. She had felt the same way before. She wanted to say something, but once she opened her mouth, she couldn't control herself.
“You haven’t grown up yet, that’s why you’re so willful in leaving Chang’an. Jiang Li used to spoil you, and you always broke the rules of the building, when did I ever blame you? Now, for someone… are you going against your uncle for her?”
Lu Kou froze, looking at her in disbelief, "Does Master not care when he loses his loved ones?"
Her Thirteenth Sister, her younger sister. When she found Thirteenth Sister's body, only a skeleton remained.
The little boy who once walked tremblingly to her and called her "sister" has now turned into a pile of bones in the blink of an eye. She didn't even see the body.
And then there's Cao Ning. People say her soul returns to her hometown, but where is her hometown?
The elders say that the soul lingers at the place of death until it is taken away by the Black and White Impermanence on the seventh day after death. They didn't even get to see each other one last time, forever separated by the divide between life and death.
How could she not hate? She hated most that she couldn't get revenge!
Xin Yi's eyes were filled with shock, but she couldn't utter a single word. What she had just said was not what she wanted to say.
"You once told me that a gentleman would sacrifice his life for righteousness, but now you've implicated innocent people and caused their deaths for your own selfish gain. Where is your morality?!" Lu Kou turned to Sima Xian. "How many innocent people did you kill to clean up the mess in the imperial examination case?!"
"Ah Ling, don't speak recklessly without evidence." Sima Xian rarely showed her a cold face. He waved to Lu Kou, "Put down the sword and go home with your uncle."
"Evidence?" Lu Kou took out a dark blue booklet from her sleeve and shook it violently. "Isn't this the evidence Uncle wants? All the manpower of the entire Great Qi is here."
"Prime Minister Cong is really a cunning fellow. No one would have thought that my uncle would keep the real register in a secret room in the Prime Minister's mansion, and the key in my dowry."
Lu Kou retreated step by step, holding the roster, her beautiful face filled with sorrow. "From a lowly ninth-rank official to a high-ranking minister in the imperial court, my uncle's connections are truly extensive, and he's shameless enough!"
"General Yang seized farmland and plundered the people's wealth all because of his gambling addiction and the huge debts he incurred at gambling dens. Wasn't his uncle involved in all of this? In the year of the great famine, how many people had no harvest? What could they give up? One by one, they mortgaged their children and hanged themselves!"
"And he, having nowhere else to plunder money, came to you, served you, and stationed troops for you. And what about those displaced people? Is all of this what you wanted, Uncle?"
Sima Xian lowered his voice, "Lu Kou, shut up!"
This was the first time Sima Xian had spoken sternly to her, as far as she could remember. What else could she not understand? She had given up, completely given up.
She always tried to find various reasons to exonerate him, saying that he hadn't plotted against General Yang, that it was all Yang's own selfish desires, but that wasn't the truth.
"I haven't said enough! Isn't that why you wanted me to marry Fan Lingzhang? All your money is invested in Tianque Tower. In recent years, Tianque Tower has become self-sufficient, but how can such meager funds be enough for you to garrison troops? That's why you set your sights on the Fan family, isn't it?"
"By using calligraphy and painting to befriend him, I can marry him and he can act as a go-between to make a big deal out of it. The title of the richest merchant in the world is much more useful than that of an ordinary person, isn't it?"
Lu Kou's hand holding the roster began to tremble, and even her voice trembled.
"This isn't you at all. You clearly said that all we needed to do was protect ourselves. You clearly said that Tianque Tower's original intention was simply to help homeless children. But now you've dragged them into the imperial court, making them work for you and become your pawns."
“They should at least do something for the building.” Sima Xian looked at Lu Kou, whose emotions were becoming increasingly unstable, and waved his hand ruthlessly. “Someone, take Madam back.”
"Don't touch me!" Lu Kou pointed her sword at the crowd. "The contribution you're talking about is making them die for those rotten people! A despicable person with a filthy heart, just because he has a position in the Ministry of Revenue, my uncle wants to use the life of the lady in the building to exchange for his life."
Sima Xian thought for a moment before recalling this person. In truth, he wasn't important; he was just a nobody in the Ministry of Revenue. His only use was as a pawn he had placed openly beside Cong Lan.
As far as Sima Xian was concerned, his death was nothing. When he heard the report from his subordinates, he didn't feel any regret. The only thing worth paying attention to was the sudden appearance of the strange dancer. Now it seemed that A Ling had disguised herself as a dancer and infiltrated the group. What a troublesome child!
"No wonder he died." Seeing Lu Kou's reddened eyes, his tone finally softened. "This was because my uncle misjudged people..."
"Make your move!" Xin Yi heard himself say, standing next to Sima Xian.
Sima Xian immediately turned to look at her. Xin Yi met his gaze uncontrollably, and a fleeting icy coldness pierced his eyes. For some reason, he did not order her to stop.
In an instant, all the swords and blades were pointed at Lu Kou, and faces turned toward her—some she recognized, some she didn't. A flash of silver light entered her eyes, and she gripped her sword tightly, deciding to strike first.
In a short while, the air was filled with a chilling atmosphere. The wind rustled through the bamboo forest, and the silver light reflected off the mottled bamboo joints onto the bloodstains on Lu Kou's body.
She saw Wen Ke in the distance through the layers of people. She wanted to laugh, but she was so tired. She didn't know how many times she had swung her sword or blocked the blade. She only glanced at Wen Ke.
"Get out of the way if you don't want to die!"
Lu Kou turned away from Wen Ke and charged out. Xin Yi didn't make a move; she stood behind the crowd, coldly watching her. Lu Kou's eyelashes trembled slightly; she bit her chin, refusing to let her tears fall.
Only after Lu Kou had completely left was Xin Yi finally free from control.
"I just..."
"Stop talking." Sima Xian closed his eyes, refusing to look at the mess on the ground. Every mark he saw reminded him of A Ling's every move and every sorrowful look in her eyes.
But now he can't turn back.
"Send men to guard the Miao region. If you encounter her, bring her back." After saying this, Sima Xian left, leaving Xin Yi alone in the same place.
Xin Yi opened her hands and carefully examined the lines on them. She had just been possessed by a ghost and said those things to A Ling. How could she bear to do that?
Lu Kou usually appears to have benefited greatly from Gu Qingyi's teachings, being noble and elegant, and carrying an air of arrogance like a little princess.
She dislikes talking to strangers, loves growing flowers and plants, and insists that her name doesn't match her personality, saying she doesn't resemble a magnolia flower but rather a sage tree. She says Sima Xian looks like a clivia, Jiang Li like a peach blossom, Gu Qingyi like a blue plumbago, and Shen Huaiyu like a hairpin flower…
She asked Lu Kou why she didn't compare Ye Taoyao to flowers and plants, and then whispered in her ear that she didn't like her aunt, that Ye Taoyao didn't like her, and that she didn't like people who disliked her.
A quirky young woman, once she likes you and wants to spend time with you, will abandon her dignity and elegance and start to take advantage of you.
She was exactly like the young lady that Jiang Li had carefully raised.
How could she have said such a thing? That was the disciple she had chosen at first sight.
Her most prized disciple, life is but a dream. The love and hate of her early life have long since faded with age. Those she hated died by her sword; she had nothing to cling to.
But Lu Kou is different. She is her last disciple and the disciple she has the most faith in. She is still young now, and she may very well surpass her in two years.
Xin Yi rubbed her temples. Could there really be ghosts in the world?
Remembering Sima Xian's orders, she wanted to give a few instructions and send someone to fetch A-Ling. But then she remembered that Thirteen Sister and Cao Ning were gone, and Wen Ke was seriously injured; none of them were suitable.
Xin Yi sighed, "Be careful of Madam, don't hurt her."
No matter what happened just now, it was her fault that she was so badly injured.
The image of Lu Kou covered in blood flashed before her eyes, and her heart felt as if it had been clenched tightly.
"Never mind, I'll go."
A few days ago, she happened to find some new flower seeds in Persia, which she took to apologize to Aling.
Lu Kou stumbled away; she wanted to return to Miao territory, to find A Niang.
No, that's not right. They will definitely go to Miao territory to wait for her. Ah Niang is still in seclusion recovering from her injuries, so she can't go to Miao territory.
Lu Kou went to the river and washed her face. The cool water splashed on her face and made her mind clearer.
Besides the roster in her hand, she also received a piece of information from the pleasure boat that might be related to the Gu worms on her body.
She slumped down on a nearby rock to rest, then took out a white porcelain bottle from her bosom to apply medicine to her back. The wound on her back was difficult to treat, so she tore off a strip from the hem of her clothing, sprinkled some medicine on it, and wrapped it around her back.
After applying the medicine, she leaned back against the stone. The clear sky was unobstructed, and the warm sunlight shone on her face. She couldn't help but close her eyes, her heart filled with desolation.
She had never known before that there was a deceased aunt in the palace, who was her uncle's and mother's half-sister.
According to Zhao, the official on the pleasure boat, she entered the palace and was granted the title of Zhaoyi. However, due to a lack of favor, she became jealous and plotted against Consort Zhou. She bribed someone in Consort Zhou's palace to poison her with a Gu worm.
After Consort Zhou's death, the truth came to light. The emperor executed her aunt with a white silk noose.
Lu Kou couldn't understand what connection she had with her. A Niang told her uncle that her Gu worm was something she brought from her mother's womb. Her mother had suffered greatly during her pregnancy and therefore didn't like her much.
She couldn't understand it. However, she learned from Lord Zhao about the whereabouts of the old maid in Consort Zhao's palace back then.
He said that the old woman and Lord Zhao's mother were distant relatives and would naturally help her. Lu Kou didn't believe his nonsense; given his lewd nature, he must have given her a lot of benefits.
The woman who had come to carry out the mission was sent back by her. Although the disciples in the building were skilled enough that he would not take advantage of her, he had a long history of misdeeds and had even tried to lay a hand on her at first. It was truly shameful for such a person to live in this world.
She was also acting on behalf of Heaven.
When Lu Kou went to Huagang Village in Qing County, Chongzhou, it was snowing heavily. She walked on the bluestone slabs with an umbrella in hand, and the swirling snow obscured her vision.
"Chongzhou." She finally came.
In the past, Lu Kou wouldn't have cared about the Gu worms her aunt had planted, nor would she have cared whether her mother liked or disliked her.
But now...
She wanted to find something to do.
The world of snow was a blur. Lu Kou didn't know the exact location of the old woman, only that there were two jujube trees growing intertwined in front of her door.
Snowflakes gently fell on the umbrella, and groups of two or three children, undeterred by the wind and snow, frolicked through Lu Kou. Their clear and cheerful voices lingered in her ears.
"It's snowing! It's snowing!"
"Come and get me!"
"Oh dear!" A child almost fell, but Lu Kou caught her in time.
The child was helped up and slowly looked up at Lu Kou, her sweet, childish voice saying, "Thank you, sister."
Lu Kou paused for a moment, her hands involuntarily tightening their grip.
"Sister, you're hurting me, sister!"
Hearing the child's cries, Lu Kou snapped out of her daze and quickly let go of her arm, saying, "I'm sorry."
"Come quick! It's finally snowing!"
"I understand, I'm coming right away!" The little girl stood in front of Lu Kou, blinked at her, and finally blushed as she exclaimed, "Sister, you're so beautiful!" before running off.
Lu Kou stood still and watched her join a group of children, holding hands and running into the distance.
Once upon a time, she was a carefree child with Thirteen Sister and the others by her side, but now she is all alone.
Snowfall is not as frequent in the south as it is in the north. Back in Miao territory, whenever it snowed, she and Thirteen Sister would always run out to play, specifically bullying Jiang Yun.
Jiang Yun stood in the middle of the snow, his silver ornaments around his neck were hit by their snowballs, and snow sprayed into his neck. He just smiled helplessly and pointed at her and Thirteen Niang.
"It's one thing for you to love to play, but you also bring Thirteen Sister along to cause trouble."
Thirteen Sister peeked out from behind Lu Kou and said, "My sister and I didn't cause any trouble. It's just that my brother is too weak."
"You two are exactly the same, equally troublesome. The other day you even stepped on and killed a few of my silver butterflies."
Thirteen's eyes darted around. "Hmm? I don't know. Winter's here, maybe it just froze to death by accident."
Jiang Yun said expressionlessly, "If someone freezes to death, their body won't be mutilated, will it?"
“My scorpion was the same. It froze to death for no reason and then inexplicably lost a piece of its tail.” Thirteen Sister looked up at Jiang Yun. “Brother, you are knowledgeable and experienced. Why don’t you explain it to your sister?”
Lu Kou watched them go back and forth, neither willing to let the other off the hook. She ran into Jiang Li's arms and laughed. Jiang Li hugged her back, while Thirteen Sister and Jiang Yun walked silently beside them. The family gathered under the snow, enjoying the scenery and having a wonderful time.
Lu Kou stood in the snow, holding an umbrella, and slowly turned around to walk forward alone. All the joy and happiness around her were irrelevant to her; she was just a passerby.
The houses along the roadside kept changing, and finally...
arrive.
Lu Kou stepped forward and knocked on the door. "Is anyone home?"
After a long while, no one responded.
She frowned slightly and raised her voice, calling out, "Is anyone there? I'm looking for Madam Su!"
There was still no one there.
Lu Kou took two steps back, looked around at the houses, jumped onto the wall, and saw the scene in the courtyard. She quickly went forward and saw the woman lying on the ground. Her clothes were tattered and patched, and her body was wrapped in thin clothes.
She stepped forward to help her up and was shocked to find that she was so thin and frail.
Lu Kou carried the person to the clinic, shouting, "Quick, someone's fainted!"
While the doctor was out treating patients, she bought several sets of clothes for Su Niangzi.
"My lady, one tael of silver."
Lu Kou took the money out of her purse and realized that she had fifty taels in her pocket.
After deducting one tael, she was left with only forty-nine taels.
Lu Kou rushed out in a hurry, and the people at the clinic silently breathed a sigh of relief when they saw her return.
The doctor stepped forward cautiously and asked, "May I ask what your relationship is with the patient, madam?"
"how?"
He stammered slightly, "My wife in bed has been overworked, and the cold weather and thin clothing have triggered her old ailment. Ordinary medicine probably won't be able to save her."
"Then what should we do?"
"We need to keep her alive with ginseng first." The doctor held out his hand. "Madam, let's agree beforehand that this is the minimum price."
"Fifty taels?" Lu Kou asked. She knew that Sima Xian and Fan Lingzhang had top-quality ginseng in their storerooms, but she didn't know how much it cost.
"No, no, no, ten taels of ginseng of good quality is enough."
Lu Kou nodded, a slight unease stirring within her. Only ten taels of silver?
She took out ten taels of silver from her purse; she now had thirty-nine taels left.
Lu Kou sat next to Su Niangzi, with medicine warming in a stove beside her. Seeing that Su Niangzi was slowly waking up, she handed her the medicine.
"Drink it."
She saw Lu Kou's face but suddenly stepped back, her voice trembling, "A ghost! It wasn't me who hurt you, it wasn't me!"
"The person who harmed you is already dead. Don't come after me. I am but a lowly servant and have no power to speak. I can only obey Consort Sima."
She shook her head violently, as if she had seen a ghost, and almost knocked over the medicine in Lu Kou's hand. Fortunately, she was quick and put the bowl of medicine down in time.
She frowned deeply. "What did you say? Who did you mistake me for?"
Her right eyelid twitched violently, and a sense of inexplicable fear gripped her. She grabbed Su Niangzi's arm and tentatively asked, "Do I look a lot like Consort Zhou?"
"You're not her? Where is this!" Su Niangzi tried to break free from her grasp, but Lu Kou had been practicing martial arts for many years, so how could she possibly shake her?
Upon hearing her answer, Lu Kou's heart sank.
“I saved you when you collapsed at home.” Seeing her try to dodge, Lu Kou restrained her hands. “Answer my questions, or I’ll kill you right now.”
"How did you get information about me..." Su Niangzi's eyes widened in surprise, "Did he tell you?"
Lu Kou remained expressionless, quietly watching her. "Yes, I learned of your whereabouts from Lord Zhao, and then I killed him with a single sword stroke. He died on the pleasure boat, his head rolling under some lady's feet like a ball. He had bullied countless ladies before his death. Are you satisfied with this end, Lady Su?"
Madam Su's throat bobbed, and her body trembled uncontrollably. "I'll talk! I'll tell you everything, please don't kill me!"
Lu Kou released her body, leaned back in the chair, and gently wiped the sword in her hand. "Speak, tell me everything you know."
The silver glint of the sword flashed in Su Niangzi's eyes, and her eyes trembled as she spoke, "Many years ago, I followed Second Madam into the palace. His Majesty favored Consort Zhou and never set foot in the palaces of other concubines. Second Madam was originally a concubine's daughter and was not prominent in the Prince's mansion. She entered the palace hoping to make a name for herself, but no matter how much she tried to win His Majesty's favor, his attention was never on her."
"So the second young lady became jealous, but the Prince's Mansion would not pour any resources into her."
Lu Kou, growing impatient with her rambling, finally asked, "What did she do?"
"The Second Lady bribed the imperial physicians to find out about the Consort's pregnancy beforehand, and then informed the King and the Prime Minister."
Lu Kou heard Sima Xian clench his fist. Then Su Niangzi secretly glanced at her, and Lu Kou caught her look. She immediately said, "The Prince's Mansion gave Second Madam a Gu worm and sent me to prepare to put it in the Consort's food. The Consort's temperament has become more and more violent. In addition, she is pregnant and often suspects the Emperor. She even smashed the Emperor with an inkstone in public."
Lu Kou: Gu worm?
"The court officials petitioned His Majesty to depose the Imperial Concubine, but the Second Lady did not expect that His Majesty would only use the Imperial Concubine's pregnancy as a reason to confine her to the palace for a month. The Second Lady tried to win His Majesty's favor during this period, but His Majesty was indifferent to worldly desires and did not step into the inner palace even after the Imperial Concubine was gone."
Seeing her stutter, Lu Kou said sternly, "Keep talking, stop talking nonsense!"
"After the Consort's confinement period ended, the Second Lady took the initiative to befriend the Consort. Every time she went to the Consort's palace, she would wear a sachet that activated the Gu worms. Over time, the Consort's mind was drawn to this, which led to premature birth. The Second Lady thought that the Consort would die along with her unborn child because of the Gu worms and premature birth. Unexpectedly, the Consort was lucky and gave birth to a little princess."
"Afterwards, the second lady tried to use the same trick again. The lady was young and unaware that the new lady's appearance was not as good as before during her postpartum period. The second lady wanted to take this opportunity to make the emperor dislike the imperial concubine, but the Gu worm had no effect. Not only that, the second lady unexpectedly discovered that the little princess would cry when she approached her. It turned out that the Gu worm had transferred to the little princess."
Lu Kou chuckled but didn't speak. Su Niangzi was unsure of what to do, so she had no choice but to continue, "Second Madam sent a message to the King about this matter, and a few months later she received an order from the King to have Second Madam switch the little princess with someone else."
“I randomly picked a child from the common people, but Second Madam, fearing to leave any trace, burned the child and shifted all the blame onto the palace servants who were looking after the little princess. The Imperial Concubine also passed away early because of the princess’s untimely death.”
The snow outside stopped. Lu Kou stood up and looked down at Su Niangzi. Her eyes were too empty and too cold. Su Niangzi couldn't help but shrink back.
She cried out, "This servant has been repenting for my sins every day for the past few years. When I left the palace, all the money I had with me was squandered by my sons."
"He left me here alone with no one to care for me. I'll be lonely in my old age. If it weren't for your timely appearance, my lady, I would have died in this snow. My lady, no, my princess! Please spare me for my miserable state. I don't have many years left to live."
Lu Kou didn't speak, she just quietly looked at her.
Seeing that she remained silent, Lady Su leaned forward and grabbed the hem of her dress. "This servant is willing to testify for the princess. As long as the princess returns to Chang'an and sees the emperor, the emperor will surely recognize her because of her resemblance to the imperial concubine!"
"Chang'an?"
Lu Kou suddenly burst into uncontrollable laughter, tears streaming down her face and dripping to the ground. She murmured to herself, "Chang'an..."
She walked out of the clinic step by step, without even taking an umbrella, and wandered aimlessly down the street.
Madam Su wiped away her tears, hurriedly got out of bed, and had to run!
"Grandma! Grandma!" The young apprentice in the clinic stopped her. "Grandma, you haven't taken your medicine yet, and what about the ten taels of ginseng?"
“Ginseng?” Madam Su was stunned for a second, but then she comforted herself, “Judging from her clothes, she has been living a life of luxury all these years. Ten taels of ginseng is nothing special.”
"What did you say, Mother-in-law?"
Madam Su quickly waved her hand to take the medicine, went home to pack up her few remaining valuables, and left that very night.
Night fell, and the snow began again.
Lu Kou looked up at the sky. People around her were hurrying home. Some were carrying freshly baked pancakes and running into the snowy night. Some couples were walking slowly in the snow under umbrellas. Some were taking shelter under the houses on the street...
Amidst the myriad aspects of human life, no one shared Lu Kou's perspective.
Snowflakes fell on her face, and the cold touch made her realize that she had left her umbrella at the clinic.
She turned to look back at the road she had come from, having no idea how long she had walked or how far she had gone.
Everything she said tore her life apart for more than a decade. She had never met her "biological mother" when she was young. When her mother expressed displeasure, she dared not see her when she returned to Chang'an from Miao territory. Instead, she entrusted the things she had brought with her to her servants to pass on.
She first met her mother on her wedding day. At seventeen, she was already able to accept that her biological mother didn't like her, or even hated her. She didn't care; she had Jiang Li.
It doesn't matter if it's her father; she has her uncle, who is like her father to her!
But everything was wrong!
Everything is wrong!
The home she chose is already half gone, and now they're telling her that this home was a mistake from the start!
She had no way to return to Miao territory. How was she supposed to face Jiang Li? She couldn't figure it out, she couldn't think of a good way.
Lu Kou slowly squatted down in the snow, covering her face and crying.
From that day on, she had absolutely nothing left.
She couldn't understand the complicated emotions. Why would her uncle, who had laid a hand on her biological mother, still raise her with such care? Were her uncle and aunt, Ah Niang… all their love and affection for her fake?
What is real? What is fake?
Where should she go next?
She couldn't return to Chang'an; as far as she knew, the Zhou family was extinct. After Consort Zhou's death, General Weiyuan and his wife passed away one after another. How could she explain to them that she had grown up among the people of the previous dynasty, whom they despised most?
She can't go anywhere.
She went back to get the umbrella; she didn't have much money left and needed to be frugal.
The young apprentice at the clinic rushed forward when he saw her return, saying, "Madam, that old woman has already taken the medicine and left."
Lu Kou hummed in agreement. "Where's my umbrella?"
"Oh, okay." The apprentice went to the counter behind him to get it. "For your wife, I'll keep it for you."
"Thanks."
"The roads are slippery at night in the snow, my wife, please be careful and go home early."
As Lu Kou turned around, she heard this and stopped to look at him. "Thank you, you too."
Lu Kou only had thirty-nine taels of silver on her. She didn't know how much rice or flour should cost, or how to rent a house. She hadn't learned how to settle down in a place.
She would simply order the same thing as the person in front of her, paying the same price. Having finally solved her shopping problem, she encountered another obstacle: she couldn't cook.
After frying the kitchen twice, Lu Kou finally managed to cook a burnt porridge with the last of her rice.
She leaned forward to sniff, but couldn't convince herself to take a bite.
But this is the last of the rice.
Lu Kou tried a sip, but ran out to vomit almost immediately. She had never eaten anything like this before; she couldn't accept it, not even a little bit.
The next day, she pawned all her jewelry.
"A total of eight hundred taels."
"Eight hundred taels!" Lu Kou's clear, almond-shaped eyes revealed her doubt. "Impossible. I bought that bracelet for a thousand taels back then."
"My lady, you said it was back when we bought it. How can we get more money back then?"
The waiter chuckled, but Lu Kou sensed something was wrong. She coldly placed the sword heavily on the stage, saying, "I've never seen anything like this before, where half the item is pawned."
"Why don't you take a look at my sword?" The sword was drawn, and the sharp blade swept across the waiter's hat, splitting it in two and dropping it at his feet.
"I was blind and didn't see clearly just now. I will immediately invite the master over."
Lu Kou snorted. In the end, the owner stepped in and pawned the silver for 1,500 taels. She estimated the amount, took the silver, and walked halfway before suddenly turning back.
The waiter and the owner silently wiped away a cold sweat. Upon seeing her return, they immediately became respectful and cautious, cautiously craning their necks to ask, "Does the heroine have any other important business?"
"If I catch you deceiving others in the future, your head will be on the chopping block next time."
"Yes, yes, I understand. I will never dare to do it again."
Lu Kou wasn't sure if she believed him or not. She glanced at her employer beside her, "You..."
"This humble citizen will definitely do a good job in business."
"Um."
Having nothing else to pawn, she had to accept bounties to earn money, so she simply entered the world of martial arts.
They lived a life of hardship, sleeping outdoors and enduring the elements.
Over the course of two years, Lu Kou gained a deep understanding of Xin Yi's financial difficulties back then. With her life hanging by a thread, how could she be picky about food? A hardened pancake and a sip of clean water were already considered the best treatment she could get.
"It's still so hard."
Lu Kou still thought it tasted awful, but she didn't have time to buy other food, as the restaurant had a time limit for this order.
However, the price was very generous, a full one hundred taels.
Lu Kou couldn't help but smile bitterly. In the past, she never needed to struggle for a hundred taels of silver, and there were always a bunch of people vying for it.
"So it was you!"
A young man suddenly appeared in front of Lu Kou, and she placed her hand on the scabbard.
He noticed Lu Kou's actions and hurriedly waved his hand, "Don't worry, my benefactor, I mean no harm."
"I wonder if my benefactor remembers that half a year ago, you rescued several women who had been kidnapped by bandits. My sister was among them, and we even met once. You may have forgotten."
Lu Kou studied him for a few seconds, then sheathed her sword. "I have some recollection of him."
She wandered to Liuzhou and unexpectedly encountered bandits trying to abduct a woman; she simply stepped in to save her.
The young man smiled. "Is my benefactor also here to claim the bounty?"
"Um."
"I do not know your name, but my sister and I are very grateful to you, madam."
“Me?” Lu Kou was silent for a few seconds. “I don’t have a name.”
"My benefactor is indeed a person of the martial arts world. I heard that even the great hero Gu Hong of the martial arts world has never left his name."
Lu Kou shook her head; she had never heard of it.
"My benefactor doesn't know the Great Hero Gu Hong? His swordsmanship is the most powerful after the Xin family sword. In the martial world, apart from the Master of Tianque Tower, no one among the descendants of the Xin family could fight him. However, after he and his wife from the Sui family got married, his name rarely appeared in the martial world. It's understandable that my benefactor hasn't heard of him."
"Really? That sounds impressive."
He seemed to talk a lot. "I've heard that the Lone Hero and his wife's husband often appear in the martial arts world, but unfortunately I haven't had the honor of meeting them. If I haven't met the Lone Hero, I'd rather meet his husband."
His words were full of admiration for the great swordsman Gu Hong, while Lu Kou's expression was indifferent. The two formed a stark contrast, yet they could be considered to have a pleasant conversation.
"The benefactor will definitely receive the reward."
"Um."
Lu Kou successfully robbed a large group of people using her martial arts skills and obtained the important item her employer had mentioned.
Below the arena, he cheered loudly. Lu Kou's mind was filled with the image of Thirteen Sister winning the championship at the Autumn Festival.
“My home is in Liuzhou Road City. My benefactor must come when he/she has time. My sister and I will definitely treat him/her well.”
"Um."
Seeing Lu Kou about to leave, he shouted loudly, "Have a safe journey, my benefactor!"
When she arrived at her destination, she heard a familiar voice.
Has the item arrived?
Lu Kou subconsciously turned around, saw the person's profile, and quickly pulled her cloak down.
She had put on the cloak because she was afraid the people from Tianque Tower would discover her, but she never expected to run into him.
Fan Lingzhang, mounted on his horse, could only see a small section of Lu Kou's chin from his perspective. He called out to Afu, "Afu, give me the money."
"Yes, yes, yes. Here you go, one hundred taels."
Fan Lingzhang muttered, "Old Sun is really stingy. He only pays a hundred taels to hire some江湖人 (jianghu people) to do the work, and I'm the one who has to pay for it. Forget it, Afu, give her a few hundred more taels."
After receiving the order, Afu handed Lu Kou a bag of silver. Lu Kou weighed it in her hand and realized that the bag contained at least five hundred taels.
That's really generous.
Lu Kou lowered the brim of her hat, handed them the items without saying a word, and turned to leave.
Fan Lingzhang looked at her back and felt that it was somewhat familiar, but after a while he realized that he was confused.
His wife doesn't know martial arts; he must have been so confused from staying up all night that his mind was filled with all sorts of random thoughts.
This order far exceeded Lu Kou's expectations, and she could finally satisfy her cravings.
But she ordered a whole table of dishes today, and she wasn't happy eating them at all.
Why?
She didn't know either.
Lu Kou opened the window, and the spring breeze caressed her face. In the blink of an eye, it had been three years since she left Chang'an, and two years since she learned about her true identity.
After leaving Chang'an, she spent a year recovering from her injuries and searching for the bodies of Thirteen Sister and Cao Ning, avenging half of their deaths.
In two years, he has been navigating the underworld, going from not even knowing the prices at the beginning to now accepting bounties everywhere.
Her twin swords were recognized by people in the martial arts world as being from the Xin family's sword style. She said she had just learned them casually, but they didn't believe her and kept chasing after her to beat her.
Fearing that her whereabouts would be exposed, she ran away after hitting him, but little did she know that more and more people were chasing her.
Lu Kou kicked the wall. It's spring again. How annoying.
She longed to go home, but she didn't know where home was.
The wound on her back was a little itchy, but she ignored it and sat on the tatami, quietly looking at the scenery outside.
She knew Jiang Li; she loved studying Gu worms and had no interest in plotting against them. The Gu worms were likely taken by Sima Xian and his group, and the reason she was taken out of the palace was because Jiang Li became interested in the fact that she had inherited Gu worms from her mother.
But she missed Jiang Li, and she couldn't understand her own feelings. Jiang Li and the others had only taught her about love; she didn't know what hate was.
Just like with Wen Ke, who called her back, she was severely injured afterwards. The injury to her back left her with chronic pain, which still hurts from time to time. Her heart ached as if it were being torn apart. Was this hatred?
But when she said those words to Fan Lingzhang about leaving the Fan family, she was also in pain. Was it hatred?
Lu Kou sat limply in the chair, unaware of what was happening.
If she wanted to express hatred, such a painful emotion, the person she should address most would be her uncle.
She hated him for personally overturning everything he had taught her—morality, right and wrong…
I hate him for killing so many innocent people.
She hated him for posing as her uncle, which made her both respect and destroy him in her heart, just as she had respected her father.
Since he harmed her biological mother and stole her out of the palace, why does he treat her like his own child, leading her to this point?
However, there is one thing: she could kill Ye Taoyao without any qualms to avenge Shisan Niang.
Over the years, she has been too cautious. Surrounded by layers upon layers of disciples from Tianque Tower, Lu Kou dared not make a move easily.
Her ears twitched slightly as she heard shouts outside.
"She's right here in this room! She's using the swordsmanship of the Xin family from back then. We can't touch Xin Yi, but we can't touch a little girl!"
"If we capture her, we can obtain the Xin Family Sword Manual from back then."
"superior!"
"Walk!"
Lu Kou's brows furrowed in annoyance. Why again? How annoying.
With a loud bang, the menacing group kicked the door open, but Lu Kou was nowhere to be seen inside.
"Boss? Where is he?"
"They've run away! Hurry up and chase them!"
Lu Kou ran away this time, but less than half a month later she ran into them.
"Young lady, we meet again."
A scene from several years ago overlaps with today: the martial arts world reunites once again for the Xin family sword technique.
Lu Kou tilted her head. "Do I really have that much influence?"
Just like Xin Yi back then, Lu Kou challenged all the martial arts masters single-handedly.
Time is long and relentless.
"Tch." Lu Kou sheathed her sword and walked forward, while the crowd behind her fell to the ground one after another. Compared to them, the bloodstains on her body were far fewer.
Reaching a secluded spot, Lu Kou leaned against a nearby tree trunk and spat out a mouthful of blood.
Internal injuries are difficult to treat.
Lu Kou leaned against the tree, circulating her internal energy. The gentle internal energy flowed through her meridians. After a while, Lu Kou opened her eyes.
no.
Her old injuries flared up again, and her Gu worms began to awaken.
The worms began to awaken and rampage through her body.
The impact caused Lu Kou's meridians to flow backwards, forcing her to stop circulating her internal energy, and blood appeared at the corner of her mouth.
She heard faint footsteps beside her and, leaning against a tree trunk, stood up. "Who is it?"
"I am Yueling, the Grand Preceptor of the Great Qi." The newcomer was dressed in a bright orange robe, with striking features. He stood not far from her, his face filled with pity and heartache.
“Your life is nearing its end. It won’t be long before Sima Xian finds your whereabouts, Princess.”
Lu Kou's eyelashes trembled. "Of course I know what you're saying. Is announcing my death while I'm still seriously injured your skill as the Imperial Advisor?"
Yue Ling sighed softly, "It's fate. Jiang Li won't be out of seclusion anytime soon."
“Fate?” Lu Kou scoffed. “I don’t need you to tell me.”
Lu Kou used her sword to support herself and made a move to leave.
Yueling: "He has another purpose in keeping you by his side, which is for your luck."
"What kind of luck?"
...
Lu Kou took a few steps back to steady herself. "Regardless of whether you are a real or fake imperial advisor, do you think I should believe you just because you say so?"
"He's different from before, isn't he? He's become increasingly paranoid and gone astray."
Lu Kou's heart couldn't settle down. She looked up into Yue Ling's compassionate eyes and thought, "This is too absurd."
That's absurd.
"Get out of my way!" Lu Kou shoved Yue Ling aside and stormed off.
Yue Lingkai watched her departing figure and sighed softly.
The crushing defeat of all martial arts schools has shocked the entire martial arts world. Rumors circulate that the mysterious lady may be able to challenge Master Xin and become the new number one in the martial arts world.
Tianque Tower, being well-informed, naturally received the news.
"Aren't you going to make a move? Host, you don't have much time left."
"Do not speak to me using the body of Magnolia."
"This body is very useful, why not use it?"
Her tone rose at the end, and her speaking style was indeed very similar to Xin Yi's.
Sima Xian's gaze was cold. "Why would you hurt a child?"
"She is a person of destiny. Your fortunes rise and fall with each other. When she is strong, you are weak. Your great cause is in sight. Do you, host, want to fail at the last moment?"
"...Give the order."
That child showed compassion for the weak wherever he was, and even though it was he who taught him, the child seemed completely foreign to him.
Sima Xian looked out at the bamboo forest outside the window of Tianque Tower. He knew better than anyone that there was no turning back.
Lu Kou gradually spotted the figures of the disciples inside the Tianque Tower. Just as Yue Ling had said, her uncle had made his move.
She began to see more and more familiar people: Chu Jiu, Coral, Tridacna, Agate...
Lu Kou couldn't accept her fate; how could she be the one carrying destiny?
How could someone be so unlucky?
She had more and more injuries, so many that she couldn't treat them all before the next wave hit.
From spring to winter, Lu Kou endured countless chases. She originally planned to secretly visit the temple to pay respects to Thirteen Sister and Aning in the summer, but this year even the back mountains of Miao territory were besieged.
She broke her promise this year.
In the bitter cold of winter, Lu Kou finally managed to rest in a dilapidated temple when she heard a child crying. She got up and went outside the temple, and sure enough, she saw a basket placed in front of the temple door, from which the crying was coming.
She lifted the cotton cloth, and inside was indeed a newborn baby. Lu Kou, a seasoned veteran of the martial world, was no longer the sheltered young lady she once was. She had witnessed all sorts of human wickedness: the selling of wives and the exchange of children, ghost marriages, and the sordid affairs of the wealthy...
There are many possibilities for a child being deliberately abandoned: it could be because of gender, because of unmarried pregnancy, or because of private family matters...
Lu Kou reluctantly picked it up; it was a little girl.
She sighed. She couldn't raise the child herself and had to send her to a proper place. Thinking of this, she couldn't help but complain about the parents of the child in her arms. How could they leave the child in a dilapidated temple?
Lu Kou tried to comfort her, and her crying subsided a little, but she was still very restless. Lu Kou guessed that she was hungry and had no choice but to take the child to town to find food.
Wearing a cloak and carrying a child in her arms, she was less suspicious.
Lu Kou had never given birth and didn't know what she could eat, so she had to ask the old lady who had a stall by the roadside.
The old woman knew immediately that she was unreliable. She took the child and asked with a puzzled look, "Are you getting married?"
Lu Kou nodded; she was indeed considered married.
"The child doesn't look like yours," the old woman whispered, but Lu Kou could hear her.
"I found it."
"Oh, you found him. I was wondering why he didn't look like one. If you found a child, you should send him to Jingzhou."
Lu Kou: "Jingzhou?"
“Well, Jingzhou is next to us. The Sui family’s Immortal Abode in Jingzhou specializes in taking in unwanted children. Look, this is still a young lady. She doesn’t have a good place to go. Why don’t you put her in a nunnery? When she grows up, she will be a nun too.”
"I see."
Lu Kou carried her on the way to Jingzhou when they encountered the people from Tianque Tower again.
"It's you again, Chu Jiu. You can't beat me, get out of my way." Lu Kou held the child in one arm, gripped the sword tightly in the other, and carried the rest of the sword on her back.
"How could Madam be pregnant!" He looked genuinely shocked, constantly glancing at Lu Kou.
Lu Kou: "..."
I can't be bothered with it.
Chu Jiu stood there blankly, and Lu Kou walked right past him without him reacting.
After successfully delivering the child to Xianjialiao, she casually asked, "What will become of her in the future?"
"Don't worry, Madam Lu, the Sui family will arrange for them to study and learn a trade. In any case, they will all have a skill."
Hearing this is better than being a nun; at least she has a choice.
Lu Kou nodded, no longer lingering. The more care she received, the more she worried and missed.
She was all alone, so at least no one would die because of her.
She was acutely aware that her body was failing. The Gu worm had been living inside her body for over twenty years, and she was intimately familiar with its condition. Every time it tried to awaken, she suppressed it with her internal energy.
But this time, its awakening coincided with her internal injuries not yet recovering, and Jiang Li was not around. It was truly fate that was against her.
"Lord, Your Majesty! Madam is pregnant!" Chu Jiu practically ran over shouting.
The entire building was shocked.
Sima Xian's hand trembled slightly. "A child?"
"Yes, I saw it with my own eyes."
"Alright, I understand. You may leave now."
Before Chu Jiu could finish speaking, he opened his mouth, but in the end he obeyed Sima Xian's order to leave. Little did he know that Sima Xian was no longer willing to listen to anything else.
Sima Xian and Xin Yi were left alone in the room.
"How could Ah Ling be pregnant?"
This is Xin Yi; she is unaware of the order given by Sima Xian.
"You want to stop?" This is the system.
She's pregnant.
Sima Xian found it hard to imagine how she could have gotten pregnant. She had left Chang'an long ago, so it couldn't be Fan Lingzhang's child. How did she get pregnant? Was it a casual affair? Or was she assaulted while she was injured? He dared not think about it.
"Stop! Stop immediately! Ah Ling has never lived alone before. Now that she is pregnant, how can she be allowed to wander outside? Her health is already poor."
Sima Xian paced back and forth.
Three years ago, her Gu worm ailment flared up, and if Jiang Li hadn't emerged from seclusion in time, she probably wouldn't have survived. Three years later, how could he let her travel alone, heavily pregnant?
"Now that things have come to this, why are you stopping?"
"Let's put those things aside for now and bring the child back first," Sima Xian said firmly, issuing the order immediately.
A cold glint flashed in Xin Yi's eyes, but no one saw it.
Lu Kou was surprised when she heard a group of people say that she was pregnant. How come she didn't know she was pregnant?
She slowly turned her gaze to Chu Jiu, but Chu Jiu avoided her eyes. He really hadn't expected that they had all misunderstood.
He forced himself to step forward and said, "Yes! Yes! Madam, please come back with us. The King and the Lord are very worried about you. How can you travel around while you are six months pregnant?"
The old lady can go back now, right? He did do a good thing after all.
Lu Kou: "..."
Where did this child come from?
She hasn't gotten pregnant in two years of marriage. Who is she pregnant with now?
"I'll go back with you." Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
She's going to die anyway, so this is just a desperate gamble.
"Ah Ling!"
As soon as Lu Kou returned to Tianque Tower, Sima Xian came down the stairs and looked at her with concern.
"You've lost weight."
"uncle……"
"Master..."
Before meeting them, Lu Kou thought she wouldn't have much of a reaction, but she was wrong.
Every word she uttered felt like a sharp blade piercing her.
She seemed to understand what hatred was.
it hurts.
Love crumbles, swords are drawn. Yet, it is rekindled by the slightest disturbance.
"Do you hate me too?"
He imparted his teachings and placed his ideals and beliefs in her, longing for her to live his life once more, yet hating her bloodline.
I originally thought we were connected by blood, and that your love and your teachings made it impossible for me to abandon you, because of the bond between us.
Therefore, I will not kill Ye Taoyao, nor will I commit the act of murdering my elders, all for the sake of the gentlemanly way you taught me.
But how do you expect me to recount all the hardships and displacement I've endured to let you know that you are the murderer of my mother?
"I really hate you."
Because I have no right to forgive you on behalf of my birth mother. Yet I hate myself for truly loving you as my father, unable to let go.
"You can have your wish now, because I'm really going to die."
Lu Kou felt that everything in the world was actually quite meaningless.
She was taught by him from a young age to help the world, and she truly believed that the world was black and white, and that everything she did was out of loyalty. But she was wrong.
The world is vast, and the martial arts world is just a small part of it. Yet she had already glimpsed the darkness of the world, which was completely different from what she had learned. Perhaps she was too slow to realize it, or perhaps her learning was too superficial. She only understood it belatedly.
"Actually, it would have been better to just kill me back then. Why did you have to let me live in this world?"
"You know."
Lu Kou looked around at the disciples, circle after circle. Back then, Tianque Tower was just like the immortal monastery of the Sui family, only helping some pitiful children. Step by step, it became a sharp blade in his hands.
"Do you want to become my complete enemy and go back to their side?"
"It's not that I want to be your enemy! It's that you've driven me to this point step by step. I really wish I knew nothing, I could..."
Lu Kou cried so hard she could barely breathe, “I can continue living in Miao territory, I don’t know how to pronounce the Central Plains language, I don’t know what it means to benefit all under heaven!”
They won't be troubled all day about what is right and what is wrong, confining themselves to a narrow world and finding it hard to let go of themselves.
"It's you who's changed! It's all you who's changed!"
Lu Kou drew her sword. She didn't care about anything else anymore. Anyway, she was all alone. She had nothing to lose, so why not just die together?
Leave the filth, resentment, and hatred here.
"Madam!" Chu Jiu spoke first. What had he missed? How could things have turned out like this?
Xin Yi: "You saw it, she's going to kill you!"
Then she called out again, "Ah Ling!"
Xin Yi lost control of herself once again and could only scream with all her might.
Lu Kou paused for a moment, but Qi Bao's combined attack was even faster than her thoughts.
The wind in the bamboo forest seemed to freeze for a moment. Lu Kou raised her hand, swung her sword to break through the combined attack, and flipped away from the encirclement.
Lu Kou fought with a reckless abandon, slitting Shanhu's throat and splashing warm blood on her face, but this did not stop her.
She's still fighting! Fighting!
An endless battle.
Wailing cries filled the air, and corpses littered the ground.
Xin Yi turned to Sima Xian and asked, "Do you regret your decision, host?"
Sima Xian turned around with his hands behind his back. "Let's do it."
Lu Kou has already killed Qi Bao and two others, and countless gold and silver bells. She truly intends to make everyone pay with their lives.
"Magnolia" raised an eyebrow and stepped forward decisively.
Lu Kou was attacked from both sides. She clutched her abdomen where she had been stabbed, while Sima Xian stood at a distance watching her silently. She never begged for mercy.
Even though she used to be a picky eater, she would still throw a tantrum.
Lu Kou couldn't hold on any longer. She took the blow from Xin Yi head-on and leaped onto the top of the bamboo.
"you……"
Before Lu Kou could speak, Xin Yi's sword strike came fiercely. She raised her hand to block it, her mind clearly knowing how to counter it, but her body was already too weak.
After only ten rounds, she fell from the sky.
Xin Yi sheathed her sword and lightly wiped the blood from her neck. "You lost."
Lu Kou met her eyes, and in just one glance, she understood.
Wen Ke ran over to catch her and brushed away her stray hairs.
Tears streamed down Lu Kou's face.
"Why are you crying? If I die, you'll really be all alone."
Lu Kou raised her hand to wipe the blood off Wen Ke's face, but forgot that she also had blood on her hands, and the more she wiped, the more blood smeared it became.
It hurts, it hurts so much.
She was physically exhausted, but her mind was unusually active; she even heard the voice of her baby.
"Make a pact with me, and I will guarantee you a second life."
Are they alive?
It turns out that even in her final moments, she still wanted to live.
good.
Let it be her last wish before she died, after all, she didn't see the person she wanted to see before she died.
Wen Ke's calls continued again and again, but Lu Kou's consciousness gradually blurred, and she could no longer hear clearly.
She was destined to die in the wilderness, just like Cao Ning, the Thirteenth Sister.
That's fine.
There's no more lingering attachment.
"I really hate you..."
Lu Kou couldn't remember what she had originally wanted to say, and only after the words left her mouth did she realize how hurtful they were, but she couldn't change them now.
She...she's really going to die.
Everything from the past flashed before my eyes like a revolving lantern—joyful, carefree, painful, and resentful.
It seems that hearing is the last thing a person loses before they die. She heard Wen Ke's cries and Sima Xian's sighs. All sorts of sounds eventually faded away.
Utter darkness descended.
The wind gently tinkled the wind chimes of the bamboo house, and the person in Wen Ke's arms stopped breathing completely.
"Ah Ling?"
"Ah Ling!"
Who hates whom?! Why do you have the right to hate me? I'm the one who should hate you!
"No, don't leave me alone."
The twilight glow fell on Lu Kou's body. The sun set behind the western mountains, and the last light was obscured by the night. That night, the snow fell heavily, and the soft white snowflakes drifted down from the sky, landing on her cold body. It was hard to tell whether the snow or her body was colder.
Wen Ke didn't move an inch from beginning to end, nor did Sima Xian.
Xin Yi's soul seemed to be torn apart; her eyes were sometimes clear-headed and sometimes ruthless.
What did she do? She killed... Ah Ling with her own hands?
She deserved to die.
What is it?
Now I'll take over your body. Don't worry, I'll definitely play the role of a human.
The wind and snow continued, and someone ran up to Sima Xian and whispered, "Tell the master that he calculated that his wife would leave the Taoist temple today to ask Wang for the sacred artifact from Yueshan that she possessed."
Sima Xian didn't hear clearly and casually agreed. His heart felt as if a piece had been ripped out. Her pale face was still conspicuous in the dark night and white snow. The first child he had personally taught, the child on whom he had placed infinite expectations, had been killed by his own order.
He vaguely saw his father's hand tightly holding his before he died. Those hands had once played the zither and composed poems in the Eastern Palace of the Yu Dynasty, had once submitted memorials in the main hall of the Yu Dynasty criticizing his father's tyranny, had once held his hand to write, and had also personally handed over the imperial seal of the dynasty to the founding emperor of the Great Qi.
To save their lives and their mother's, and for the sake of all the people.
"Restore the kingdom! Yunhuai, restore the kingdom!"
What was his answer back then?
"I understand."
Yunhuai was his courtesy name. It comes from Lu Ji's "Wen Fu" (Essay on Literature) from the Jin Dynasty: "A mountain shines because it contains jade, and a river is beautiful because it holds pearls."
A virtuous person should possess inner character and be modest and unassuming.
Unfortunately, Father. He cannot have everything; he must give up one thing.
Sima Xian turned and left; the Prime Minister must be very satisfied with this outcome.
Outside Chang'an, Sui Zhixu left the Taoist temple where he had lived for eighteen years.
...
Do you need any help?
When her peach blossom eyes met Xi Yushao's cold gaze, the next second, only terror remained in them.
"don't want!"
She doesn't want to die!
But the layers of dark water in the dead of winter completely submerged her in the icy, bone-chilling lake.
She gradually lost consciousness.
Tick-tock, tick-tock—
Two people in the middle of the lake opened their eyes at the same time. It was a face that Sui Zhixu knew all too well; it was the face of Lu Kou from before.
Am I dead?
"I suppose so, I am the future...you." Sui Zhixu tentatively described himself as the future.
"The future? What future do I have?"
"You responded to the age of the month, and that's how we came to be."
Lu Kou spread her arms wide, and the internal force emanating from her body stirred up the surrounding lake water.
"Then tell me what to do? Do you know what it feels like to be all alone? It was all a lie, everyone made the decisions for me, I can't do anything but live, I can't do anything at all..."
"But I've tried so hard to live. I want to live on with the hopes of Thirteen Sister and Cao Ningsheng. But why? Why did you have to let me know that I am the child of the current emperor and the imperial concubine? So that every day, every morning when I open my eyes, I feel guilty."
Lu Kou walked around Sui Zhixu, looking at herself with eyes that were almost desperate, filled with bitterness and sorrow.
"So we woke up with amnesia."
Lu Kou was stunned. "Amnesia."
This time, Sui Zhixu walked around Lu Kou. She looked up at herself and said gently, "The process of gradually regaining memories is painful. It's not easy for me to go through it again."
"The blurry images that appear in my mind, the indescribable emotions in my heart, entangle me every minute and every second. When I see people who resemble them, the peach blossoms in April, the pomegranate flowers that bloom in May, the jasmine in June, the vast expanse of lotus flowers in the lake during the sweltering summer, every leaf that falls in autumn, every step I take in Miao territory, the world changes, the flowers can still bloom at that time, but the people are no longer there."
"Fate has taken an unexpected turn, and I have become Cong Lan and Sui He's woman, but you will feel love and trust, and you will have new responsibilities."
"So I know to move forward, to live on, and to decide your own destiny."
"Whether in good times or bad, we are with ourselves, and I will always love you. Your tears, your pain, and your love piece together our future. So, wake up, Ah Ling. Go and end it all."
Lu Kou slowly reached out her hand, and the two figures intertwined their fingers.
I contend with myself, and I'd rather be myself.
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