Chapter 36: One Hundred Thousand Cold Jokes
This scene was as weird as it could be. In the middle of the night, on a horizontal surface, Tang Xiaoyun was talking to the air alone, and there was a cold wind blowing from time to time. They had done so many bad things that they naturally thought of that layer. It would be strange if they were not scared.
After all, Xiong Biao was the eldest brother, but he wasn't as timid as them. He stood up and shouted at Tang Xiaoyun, "Hey! What are you talking about to yourself?"
"Hmm? Did I tell you that?"
Yes, you said it.
Xiong Biao walked over to the oil lamp, relit it, and said to everyone, "Just say this kid is playing tricks. Come on, continue drinking."
Xiong Biao sat back in his previous seat, tore off a piece of meat and stuffed it into his mouth, then took a big gulp of wine. After swallowing it, he let out a happy roar: "Ah! It feels so good!"
Seeing this, the younger brothers followed suit. The one with the shoe-horn face wiped his mouth and said, "Once we hand this guy over, with these ten thousand taels, we brothers can happily find some women and have fun. It's wonderful just to think about it."
Hearing this, Tang Xiaoyun cursed the scum in his heart, then tentatively said, "My dear fellows, just eating meat and drinking is so boring. How about I tell you a joke to cheer you up?"
Xiong Biao paused while holding his wine glass, raised his eyebrows and said jokingly, "Wow! You're quite good at stirring things up. Well, tell us about it. If you can make us laugh, this piece of meat will be yours!"
As he spoke, Xiong Biao pulled off a leg of lamb, lifted it up and shook it, looking like he was teasing a dog.
Tang Xiaoyun spat inwardly, then calmed down and began, "So I started. One day, the crab went out and accidentally knocked over the loach. The loach angrily asked, 'Are you blind?' Guess what the crab said?"
He looked at Xiong Biao and the others, but they were confused and shook their heads.
"The crab said no, I am a crab."
... Gah... Gah...
Quiet.
It was unusually quiet, with nothing but the whistling sound of the wind.
Tang Xiaoyun looked at Xiong Biao and the others who were staring at him speechlessly. He was stunned and asked, "Isn't it funny?"
Xiong Biao swallowed the food in his mouth and grinned, "What do you think?"
Seeing the veins bulging on his forehead and a hint of anger, Tang Xiaoyun quickly said, "Don't worry, don't worry. I have more. This time it will definitely be funny."
He quickly recalled the jokes he had seen before.
"I thought of one. It's said that after Tang Sanzang and his disciples returned from the Western Paradise to obtain Buddhist scriptures, they returned to the Tang Dynasty. As soon as they arrived at the main hall, they stepped forward, took the hands of Emperor Taizong, and said, 'Pigsy, Pigsy, and Wukong, kneel down!' Pigsy and Wukong obediently knelt. Emperor Taizong asked what this meant. Now guess what Tang Sanzang said?"
He blinked his big eyes with excitement, hoping that Xiong Biao would cooperate with him once.
This time Xiong Biao didn't spoil the fun and followed up on his words by asking, "What did you say?"
“Ahem…”
Tang Xiaoyun cleared his throat and said in a serious tone, "Tang Monk replied, I just want to experience the pleasure of holding the emperor hostage to control the pigs and monkeys (princes)."
When he finished speaking, he stared closely at the reactions of Xiong Biao and the others, but how did he say that sentence?
I fear the sudden silence in the air the most.
The system sighed helplessly and said, "Host, it seems you really don't have any talent in this area..."
"Pfft! Hahahaha, crab? Shrimp? So that's what it means, hahaha, I'm dying of laughter..."
Before the system could finish, the little brother with the stubble-faced face was already laughing so hard that he collapsed on the ground, clutching his stomach.
Tang Xiaoyun: "Uh..."
system:……
This brother's reaction time is quite long.
Seeing his younger brother laughing like a shrimp, Xiong Biao couldn't help but laugh too. For a moment, the cabin was filled with laughter.
Ding!
[Complete the mission and receive 15 points as reward.]
Tang Xiaoyun opened his mouth slightly, looking at Xiong Biao and the others in shock, and internally complained: [This guy is pretty good, awesome!]
After receiving the points, Tang Xiaoyun quickly reminded: [System, it's your turn now.]
[Okay!]
The next second, the system flew out of his body in a transparent state and then floated into the warehouse. In addition to the boxes of gold, silver and treasures, there were also some haystacks and cloth in the warehouse. The system lit a fire on those haystacks and then returned to Tang Xiaoyun's body as if nothing had happened.
Xiong Biao, who was laughing with his head tilted back, sniffed, his brows suddenly furrowed, and he shouted, "Oh no! There's a smell of smoke!"
The laughter stopped abruptly. One of the younger brothers, who had good eyesight, saw the thick smoke coming out of the warehouse roof and pointed at the warehouse, shouting, "The smoke is coming out of the warehouse!"
Hearing this, Xiong Biao suddenly got up from the ground, but because he had been drinking and was extremely anxious, he failed to get up after trying several times.
In a panic, he shouted to his fellow brothers, "Put out the fire quickly! Don't let the baby get burned!!"
That was the treasure they had fought so hard to get back. If it was burned, they would have nowhere to cry.
The younger brothers were scrambling to find buckets of water, and they were lying on the edge of the boat to draw water, carry water, and splash water. The scene was in chaos.
At this time, Xiong Biao also staggered towards the warehouse and pushed the door open with force. Suddenly, a raging fire rushed in his face, burning the hair on his forehead and scaring him to fall to the ground.
Seeing this, Tang Xiaoyun quickly stretched out his leg to hook the dagger thrown aside. Although he moved his buttocks and stretched out his long legs with all his strength, he was still a little short of the dagger.
【Just a little bit more! 】
His whole body was stretched, and his toes finally touched the dagger. He hooked it hard, and the dagger bounced up due to inertia and fell on his heel.
Now he felt much more relaxed. He stretched out his other foot to grab the dagger, brought it back to his side, and then pushed it behind his back where his hand could reach it.
After holding the dagger, he struggled to cut the rope. As time passed, the rope was cut bit by bit.
“Snap!”
The rope broke.
Tang Xiaoyun was finally able to move. He moved his wrists which were tied painfully, and then slowly groped his way to the edge of the boat.
The stubby-faced younger brother who was directing the firefighting on the side spotted Tang Xiaoyun trying to escape and shouted, "Brother, that kid is trying to run away!"
Xiong Biao turned around, glared at Tang Xiaoyun, and said with a sullen look on his face, "Boy, you're looking for death!"
After saying that, Xiong Biao hurriedly climbed up with the help of a pillar, drew out his long knife and staggered towards Tang Xiaoyun.
Tang Xiaoyun grinned and said in a mean way, "You're already drunk and still want to catch me? Wait until next life. Also, let me tell you, that fire was my farewell gift to you, no need to thank me!"
After saying that, he stood on the edge of the boat, faced Xiong Biao and saluted him with a British military salute. With a wicked and cunning smile on his lips, he fell straight into the water.
When Xiong Biao pounced on him, he missed. Tang Xiaoyun had already swam away under the cover of night and the river.
"You little bastard, I'm going to kill you!!"
“Kill you!!”
"Fuck you!!"
Xiong Biao's roar echoed in the silent night. Tang Xiaoyun swam to the other side of the river with a Monza. After getting ashore, he collapsed on the ground with his limbs spread out, gasping for breath.
The chill of the river water made him shiver uncontrollably, but he ignored it and struggled to get up. He said to the system, "Find a place to dry my clothes. Don't let them freeze to death before I even reach Green Forest Village."
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