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To outsiders, Shen Qianyue's life was so smooth that it was enviable.
Autumn, Jingchang 207.
Shen Qianyue was born in the residence of Prime Minister Shen in the capital. That morning, the sky was filled with rosy clouds, and the Imperial Astronomical Observatory privately recorded that "the sky is auspicious and the master is noble." She has been extremely intelligent since childhood and can understand things at a glance. Not only is she outstanding in poetry and prose, but she also shows an interest in military strategy and political affairs far beyond her peers.
When he was thirteen years old, he went to the palace with his mother to attend the Spring Banquet. He got lost in the Imperial Garden and ran into Xie Zhiyun, who was eighteen years old and had not yet been crowned king.
The young man was dressed in black and was leaning against a plum tree reading a book. His features were clear and his temperament was resolute.
Shen Qianyue showed no fear, but instead asked him: "Excuse me, brother, which way should I go to Hanzhang Palace?"
Xie Zhiyun looked up at the sound and saw a girl with braided hair and startlingly bright eyes. She said gently, "I'm going there too. Let me take you with me."
While chatting along the way, Shen Qianyue was able to pick up the topic of military strategy mentioned by Xie Zhiyun. Although she was immature, she had unique insights.
From then on, the two often met under the pretext of poetry gatherings and horse riding and archery. Although they were five years apart in age, they had similar interests and became rare friends.
They galloped side by side on the horse field, arrows flying through the air, or debated the past and present in the study, making eloquent speeches.
Xie Zhiyun admired her intelligence, and Shen Qianyue also admired his talent and ambition. During those years, spring seemed to be particularly kind to the time they spent together.
When he was fifteen, there was a slight disturbance in the palace.
The father, who had always had a deep love for his mother, unexpectedly brought home a mother and son.
The young man was timid and was actually a few years older than her. He said that he was his father's illegitimate son who had been away from home in his early years. His father was full of guilt and tried to compensate that son in every way. He loved him so much that he almost loved him more than her, the legitimate daughter.
My mother was so angry that her heart ached, she fell ill, and her face looked haggard.
Shen Qianyue's heart was also in turmoil, but she forced herself to remain calm. She served her mother medicine and comforted her with kind words day and night by her bedside.
After her mother recovered a little, she watched the mother and son coldly. She saw that the woman's eyes flickered and her behavior was petty and deliberately trying to please others. Although the half-brother studied hard, his talent was mediocre, and there was cowardice and greed in the depths of his eyes.
Shen Qianyue felt a little relieved. These two people had clumsy means and shallow minds. In the end, they could not shake the foundation of her and her mother. It was just two more faces in the mansion that needed to be dealt with.
At the age of twenty, Xie Zhiyun, the King of Dingwu, was ordered to leave the capital and become a vassal.
Despite the distance between them, the two men never stopped exchanging letters, discussing current affairs, military strategies, or giving each other new and interesting gadgets.
When Shen Qianyue was seventeen years old, the emperor, whether out of indulgence for his younger brother or genuine appreciation for her talent, actually nodded in private and agreed to the marriage. He planned to wait until she turned twenty and then go to her fiefdom to marry Prince Dingwu. Although the news was not made public, it was quietly circulated among the uppermost circles, as if she was marked with an invisible mark.
At the age of twenty, she arrived as promised and set foot on the fiefdom of King Dingwu. The two did not get married directly, but proposed to get along with each other for a while first.
Although this place is not as prosperous as the capital, it has its own vast and rugged world.
Shen Qianyue works under Xie Zhiyun and, as a woman, assists in military affairs.
Over the past two years, she has repeatedly come up with ingenious strategies, such as optimizing the allocation of food and fodder, designing new types of chevaux-de-frise, and achieving unexpected victories in sand table exercises, proving step by step that she is more than just a talker.
She told Xie Zhiyun clearly: "I am willing to help you govern this fiefdom, but I don't want to be just a princess. Even if we get married, you must grant me a real official position."
Xie Zhiyun laughed at her for being special and agreed with her.
At that time, the look in his eyes when he looked at Shen Qianyue was filled with admiration, doting, and perhaps even a hint of imperceptible, ignited ambition.
She is his confidant and an important piece of the puzzle in his grand plan.
At the age of 22, war suddenly broke out on the border.
Chen Qianyue, dressed in military uniform, went to the battlefield with the army, riding side by side with Xie Zhiyun.
Amidst the trials of blood and fire, amidst the mountains of corpses and seas of blood, the reputation of the "God of Killing" prince shook the world.
As news of victory came in frequently, his ambition also grew, his methods became more brutal, and he treated prisoners and surrendered soldiers almost cruelly.
Chen Qianyue repeatedly advised that the benevolent are invincible and excessive killing may lose the support of the people. However, Xie Zhiyun believed that severe punishments should be used in troubled times and womanly kindness would only miss the opportunity to fight.
Differences in ideas are quietly surging like undercurrents beneath the ice.
The string of love in Shen Qianyue's heart quietly broke after a fierce argument.
The vague expectation and the bond of marriage gradually cooled down in the smoke of war and the increasingly exposed power struggles, and she completely gave up the idea of marrying him.
But the war is not over yet, and she is still the most capable "female Zhuge Liang" under his command. She clearly distinguishes between public and private affairs, and Shen Qianyue's performance is impeccable.
The following year, a shocking change occurred in the capital.
The Shen family was involved in party disputes and was suddenly caught up in the heinous disaster of treason. The evidence was conclusive and fierce, causing an uproar in the government and the public.
Shen Qianyue was far away at the border and was extremely anxious when she heard the news. She knew Xie Zhiyun's influence and means in the court. If he was willing to negotiate, she could at least save her family's lives and buy time to find out the truth.
However, Xie Zhiyun weighed the pros and cons and considered the complexity of the matter. He was afraid that intervening would arouse the emperor's suspicion and shake his hard-earned military power and reputation, so he finally chose to remain silent and stand by.
The entire Shen family was locked up and thrown into the Sky Prison, awaiting execution in the autumn.
However, because of her outstanding military achievements, she was pardoned by the emperor and allowed to remain in the army to serve under punishment.
In the moment of despair, it was Xie Shangjia, the dandy young man whom she had never looked at directly, who knelt on the cold white marble steps outside the emperor's palace in winter for more than ten hours, regardless of the wind and snow and the eyes of others.
He pleaded the pros and cons, and tried his best to prove the innocence of Prime Minister Shen. His words were sincere and to the point. In the end, the emperor showed mercy and changed the death penalty for the entire Shen family into imprisonment. After the truth was revealed, they were reinstated to their official positions.
This move caused quite a stir in the capital, and everyone said that Xie Shangjia was crazy for taking such a risk for an unrelated and disgraced prime minister.
In the same year, a great victory was won on the border, and King Dingwu Xie Zhiyun returned in triumph, becoming famous throughout the world and receiving great honor.
At the celebration banquet, there was music and singing, and Xie Zhiyun was in great glory. However, Shen Qianyue, who had always followed him through life and death and given him advice but had no name or status, became the object of everyone's whispers and secret sympathy.
Xie Zhiyun brought up the old matter again in private, wanting to fulfill the engagement and grant her the position of princess, as if the previous changes in the Shen family had never happened.
Chen Qianyue only looked at the rolling clouds outside the palace eaves, and said softly but firmly: "Your Highness, times have changed. I am willing to serve you. But let's forget about being husband and wife."
Xie Zhiyun stayed in Beijing for two months, and she did not go with him when he left.
Because of the life-saving grace, Shen Qianyue prepared a generous gift and went to the residence of Xie Shangjia, who was now the head of the Secretariat, to express her gratitude in person.
At first, I thought it was just a favor, so I was polite but distant. However, after several interactions, I found that this person was very different from the rumors.
The reputation of being a playboy in the past and the evaluation of being "cruel" today seem to be just appearances.
Xie Shangjia's residence was elegantly decorated, with a rich collection of books. She had refined conversation and knew when to advance and retreat. She had profound insights into the classics, history, and literature. Even the military and political affairs that she occasionally mentioned were meaningful and insightful.
After two years of acquaintance, from the initial polite gratitude to the subsequent frank discussions, she gradually felt that this person was like a deep pool, unfathomable, with its own ravines and secrets, and a unique awe-inspiring character hidden under his smoothness.
Shen Qianyue saw how he maneuvered between various forces, preserving himself while doing a lot of practical things for the people. His methods might not be so bright and aboveboard, but the results were often beneficial to the country and the people.
At the age of 25, Xie Shangjia revealed his feelings to Shen Qianyue under the moon.
Shen Qianyue's heart was slightly moved, and she was not completely unmoved, but she still declined politely. She told the whole story of the emperor's private marriage between her and Xie Zhiyun in his early years. Even though the outside world did not know about it, she could not deceive others or herself, let alone implicate others.
The turning point came at the age of twenty-seven.
Xie Shangjia had made many outstanding achievements and was in the emperor's favor, and had been promoted to an important position in the Ministry of the Secretariat.
At the grand court meeting in Taiji Hall, Xie Shangjia actually risked everything and asked for Shen Qianyue's hand in marriage in front of all the civil and military officials. His words were sincere and his attitude was firm.
At that time, King Dingwu Xie Zhiyun disappeared while pursuing the remaining enemies at the border, and his life or death was unknown.
Perhaps the emperor weighed the pros and cons, or perhaps he acted on a whim, but he waved his hand and agreed to the marriage, as if he had forgotten the private nod he had given many years ago.
Within half a year, the six ceremonies were completed, and they were conducted grandly and smoothly.
Just as she put on her wedding dress, looked at herself in the mirror, and prepared to start a new chapter in her life, Xie Zhiyun miraculously survived, defeated the enemy, and returned to the court.
Xie Zhiyun, with the dust and anger of the border, stormed into the Taiji Hall and questioned the emperor. The emperor just laughed it off, talked about other things, and easily pushed the problem aside.
Shen Qianyue's father, Prime Minister Shen, even stepped out and pretended to be confused with a look of panic on his face.
"Your Highness, it's true that His Majesty privately granted us a marriage, but he only promised our daughter to the royal family, not explicitly to you, Your Highness. Thank you, Minister of the Chancellery, for your grand proposal. I... I also thought our daughter's heart belonged to the Minister of the Chancellery."
Shen Qianyue had already fallen deeply in love with Xie Shangjia during their daily interactions. Facing Xie Zhiyun's anger and resentment, she simply spoke calmly.
"The past is gone. You and I have different paths, so it's hard for us to be together."
At the age of twenty-nine, she gave birth to her eldest daughter, Shuhua.
The years were peaceful and harmonious, and she almost thought that the ups and downs in her life were over and that perfection was just like this.
Xie Shangjia treated her very well and respected her in everything. The couple often talked under the lamp at night, discussing court affairs, appreciating poetry, or just chatting about family matters. They had a tacit understanding.
Unexpectedly, fate played a trick on him. At the age of 32, Xie Shangjia accidentally fell into an icy lake.
When he woke up again, his memory went back to the uninhibited and sunny boyhood of 18 years old. He forgot all the hard plans and everything about knowing and loving Shen Qianyue. He only remembered that he was a dandy young man in fine clothes and riding a horse.
After losing his memory, Xie Shangjia was extremely uncomfortable with his current environment and identity, and his words were full of the sharpness and rudeness of a teenager.
However, perhaps it was because of their deep bond, or perhaps it was just their nature, but after the initial confrontation, Xie Shangjia, who had come to his senses after losing his memory, became extremely dependent on her and clung to her, calling her "wife, wife" all day long. He was lively and interesting, enthusiastic and direct, and tried every possible way to make her happy, completely different from the deep and steady husband he used to be.
Shen Qianyue didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She was exhausted, but at the same time, she seemed to have experienced a unique love affair all over again.
In order to remove the cold poison from Xie Shangjia's body, Shen Qianyue went with him to the mysterious Valley of Divine Doctors for treatment.
The years in the valley were quiet, and his dependence and attachment grew deeper.
When he returned from the Valley of Divine Doctors, the situation in the capital had changed.
Xie Zhiyun, the Prince of Dingwu, has taken control of the defense of the capital and part of the imperial guards, and has been slow to reclaim the throne, suggesting that he is about to force the emperor to abdicate.
Xie Zhiyun brought their daughter Xie Shuhua into the palace, ostensibly to take care of her, but actually to control her.
For the safety of her child, and for the blueprint of a clear and bright political situation that Xie Zhiyun had described, which she might have vaguely agreed with in her heart, as well as a trace of selfish desire that might completely free her from the shackles of the past, Shen Qianyue finally participated in this grand rebellion.
She knew very well that if Xie Shangjia were there, he would not approve of her taking such a risky move, and she was even more afraid of implicating him.
Therefore, Shen Qianyue hardened her heart and took the initiative to spread the news of the divorce throughout the city, indicating that she had drawn a clear line between herself and him. Even if she failed in the future, Xie Shangjia could at least use this to get away and not be implicated.
A coup rages and blood flows like a river.
The old master, with the mentality that he would lose and would not let others have an easy time, ordered the massacre of the families of all those who participated in the rebellion. Fortunately, Shen Qianyue had sensed it early and had secretly sent her mother to a safe place in advance.
In the chaos, when he met Xie Shangjia again, he had recovered his memory. He knew everything, including her decision, her participation, and the deep meaning behind her resolute "divorce".
Chen Qianyue had mixed feelings in her heart, and she couldn't tell for a moment whether she loved the sunny and pure "young" husband who was completely dependent on her, or this deep and wise husband who could walk side by side with her and share the ups and downs with her.
Perhaps, it is one and two, two and one.
Although this rebellion did not affect the common people too much, it completely cleansed the court.
The chaos was settled, the old emperor abdicated, and the new dynasty was established, with many things to be rebuilt.
Xie Zhiyun got what she wanted and was in power, and Shen Qianyue played a great role in it.
Shen Qianyue and Xie Shangjia both hold important positions and are busy day and night.
Whenever she had some free time, Shen Qianyue would be lost in thought as she watched Xie Shangjia patiently teaching his eldest daughter Shuhua to read and write in the courtyard, wondering what a lively scene it would be if the eighteen-year-old "him" were still alive.
Xie Shangjia, who has regained his memory, is often secretly jealous. Even in bed, he would stubbornly hold her waist and ask her whether he is better, him or the lawless "him" who only pesters her after losing his memory.
Shen Qianyue always laughed, put her arms around his neck, looked into his eyes, and answered seriously: "Of course it's you, it's always you."
Xie Shangjia was satisfied and hugged her tighter.
After the birth of his youngest daughter Mengli, Xie Shangjia took an increasingly active role in taking on the responsibility of raising her. He jokingly said that although she was a genius in military strategy and government affairs, she was "dull" when it came to raising children, so he had to worry more about her.
The eldest daughter, Shuhua, is simple and honest in nature. She finds it difficult to study and practice martial arts. She is really dull and unable to handle the heavy responsibility.
The youngest daughter, Mengli, was exceptionally intelligent since childhood, had a photographic memory, and was extremely smart, so she was treated like a jewel.
However, fate is extremely cruel.
When she grew up, the seemingly dull eldest daughter Shuhua resolutely chose to join the army. She showed amazing tenacity and courage on the battlefield, made many outstanding achievements, and won the respect of everyone.
The youngest daughter, Meng Li, who was regarded as delicate and exquisite since childhood and carried countless expectations, left home silently at the age of fourteen, leaving behind a short letter. She fled to the small town of Suizhou thousands of miles away, and there was little news from her, like a drop of water merging into the sea.
Chen Qianyue was shocked, angry, and heartbroken. She wrote several letters, ranging from admonishments to pleas, hoping to call her youngest daughter back to Beijing, but all her responses fell on deaf ears.
She and Xie Shangjia put aside their official duties and went to Suizhou several times to look for him, but they either missed him by chance or he was deliberately avoided. It seemed as if the child had the ability to escape underground and could always avoid them in advance.
After so many times, she finally understood after being exhausted.
The child might have developed a deep resentment from being compared with his elder sister so often. It was useless to force him, so he could only wait.
Maybe one day, she will figure it out and come back, or maybe, never.
Winter, 257th year of Jingchang.
Xie Shangjia passed away before her. It was the cold poison that damaged his essence. He was only forty-nine years old.
On the day of the funeral, the sky was covered with snow and the air was shrouded in mourning.
Shen Qianyue, dressed in plain clothes, handled all government affairs and arranged all matters concerning the court, family, and daughter after her death in an orderly and neat manner.
She put on her favorite lake blue dress and sat quietly in front of Xie Shangjia's coffin for a long time, stroking the cold coffin, as if recalling the years they had spent together for half a lifetime.
In the end, she calmly drank a cup of poisoned wine that had been prepared long ago, with a faint smile on her lips, and followed him away.
On the desk, two letters with dried ink were placed side by side.
One letter was left for the eldest daughter Shuhua who was now able to stand on her own feet, and the other was left for the youngest daughter Mengli who was far away and had no news from her.
The wind and snow continue, covering up all the sounds and love and hate in the world.
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