Chapter 58 Spring Evening "Madam Lu is clearly pregnant."...
"good."
Ruan Yang agreed almost without hesitation. Fallen petals drifted down onto Ning Xian's brow. She tilted her head up and leaned closer to Ning Xian, her cool fingertips sliding from his cheek down his neck and all the way to his left atrium.
"When we return to Chonghua Palace, I will personally write the divorce papers. Promise me that after the divorce, you won't make things difficult for him, okay?"
Ning Xian frowned at the sudden show of concern. His vitals were exposed to this woman who could take his life at any moment, and he visibly became more vigilant.
But he just looked at Ruan Yang and didn't make any further moves.
Ning Xian scoffed: "You're so concerned for him, aren't you afraid that once he becomes successful and has a beautiful woman in his arms, he'll forget about you, his benefactor, completely?"
Ruan Yang shook her head and said, "If he can be happy and fulfilled, I will only be silently happy for him. It would be best if he could forget about this heartless woman like me. How could I blame him?"
"How generous of you."
Ning Xian felt that Ruan Yang was being hypocritical, so she smiled and said, "I hope your sincerity will be rewarded."
Ruan Yang was unwilling to waste her breath on him. In Ning Xian's eyes, this domineering and selfish man, there was only crazy possession and undignified control.
“He doesn’t need to repay me. Even if you get what you want, my ending with Lu Wenjin is not satisfactory. I will take the affection between him to my grave.”
Ning Xian lifted Ruan Yang's fair chin, his gaze lingering and broken as he caressed her: "Does that mean you'll never love a man other than Lu Wenjin in your life?"
Ruan Yang turned her head and closed her eyes, and slowly said, "You should be content to have a complete living body."
Ning Xian pushed her away after hearing this, his tone unreadable, and said with a smile, "Fine, you said it. Then stay by my side for life and prepare to grow old with me."
"I don't want your sincerity anymore, and don't expect that when I find out you've been lying to me next time, I won't have the heart to torture you."
Ning Xian moved very gently, but Ruan Yang almost fell. She was slender and deliberately bound her abdomen, wearing a thick dress. Even though she was five months pregnant, it would not be noticeable unless touched.
However, no matter what, Ruan Yang is now carrying a live child in her belly, and her movements are inevitably not as agile as before.
Ruan Yang held onto the corner of the table, but the baby in her womb seemed startled and suddenly twitched.
Despite her worry, she instinctively wanted to reach out and comfort the child, but because Ning Xian was there, she had to withdraw her unusual action.
This also reminded her that what she needed was a temporary measure. She had to put on a good show. Only by stalling Ning Xian and waiting for the opportunity to return to Bashu could Lu Wenjin have a chance of winning, and she could also give birth to her child safely.
Seeing that Ruan Yang looked extremely pale, Ning Xian stepped forward, grabbed her wrist, and pressed her down onto the stone stool. He laughed and said, "Yang Yang, how about we play a game? Let's call it Betting on People's Hearts. If you win, I'll accept my loss and won't bother you anymore."
Ruan Yang frowned: "What do you mean?"
Ning Xian wanted to know if, amidst all the temptations, there truly was an unbreakable bond of love in this world.
He smiled without saying a word, and after a while, he simply picked Ruan Yang up in his arms and said, "You'll know later."
"Stop thinking about it. You can't imagine this. Come back to Chonghua Palace with me. I haven't had sex in a long time, and I feel terrible every night. It's time for us to be honest with each other and catch up."
Ruan Yang was taken aback, her heart pounding wildly.
........
Ruan Yang returned to the familiar couch. Ning Xian's quilt and pillow were clean and tidy, with a trace of ambergris fragrance still lingering. She hadn't taken off her cloak, and there were still red plum blossoms on her clothes and hat. She wanted to take them off and shake them off, but then she noticed that Ning Xian had already taken off her cloak.
"......etc."
He paused, then turned around and said, "Your menstrual cycle has passed."
Ruan Yang gripped the bed frame for a long time before finally getting up and hugging Ning Xian from behind.
Ning Xian understood her little scheme and scoffed, "Begging for mercy?"
But the way she was holding him so tenderly almost made him turn back into the little dog who used to wag its tail and beg for her affection.
"Your injury hasn't healed yet, it will hurt. You need to rest."
The wound in his chest was severe, almost piercing his heart. Even with careful care, Ning Xian's health deteriorated rapidly.
The imperial physician told him that this illness would leave him with a chronic condition, and that he must not get angry, not catch a cold, and take medicine for the rest of his life.
But he was the emperor, and working from dawn till dusk was the norm for him. After court, he still had to face several pedantic and stubborn old ministers.
Ning Xian laughed and said, "How could I possibly have a chance to rest? Those old men are always nagging me to produce an heir for the royal family as soon as possible."
"So, you did as I said?"
Ruan Yang frowned. With so many women in his harem, he still wasn't satisfied?
Ning Xian rested her head on her shoulder and said, "If you do that, you'll probably get drained dry."
After saying that, he said reproachfully, "In that kind of matter, I'm afraid only you would be considerate of me."
"..."
Ruan Yang knew that Ning Xian was upset because she wasn't proactive enough in that matter, that she was clumsy, and that she hadn't served him well. But in the past, she had put in a lot of effort to make Ning Xian happy, and even... asked for erotic pictures to imitate and please him.
But in the end, all I got in return was Ning Xian's disdain?
Ruan Yang shoved Ning Xian away, her anger blinding her, and said, "If you dare touch me now, I will show absolutely no mercy and guarantee that you will die from exhaustion, coughing up blood!"
The little girl blushed and stared at him with her round eyes. Ning Xian was amused by Ruan Yang: "As the saying goes, to die under a peony is to be romantic even as a ghost. To die in your arms, I don't think it's such a bad thing."
Ruan Yang glared at him and sneered, "You murdered your father and brother, and you went to great lengths to seize the throne. Are you really willing to give it up? Seeing Lu Wenjin and me spend our lives together, can you accept that?"
"I have no choice. The fortune teller said I was destined to die young. I didn't believe it before, but after I injured my heart meridian, and it's not even January yet, I just can't warm up. Sometimes you really have to believe in those things."
Ning Xian smiled casually, "What if I die before you?"
"Then I will definitely set off firecrackers, hold a banquet, and have a proper celebration."
Ning Xian raised an eyebrow after hearing this: "Okay, it's good to have some excitement. I've heard that the underworld is cold and dark, and there are fierce and evil ox-headed and horse-faced demons. If someone is willing to put in the effort for me, I won't be lonely on my way to the Yellow Springs."
Ruan Yang remained silent. She had never considered what it would be like if, after years of entanglement, Ning Xian completely disappeared from her world one day.
Thankfully, I'm free. Then I get drunk, lie down comfortably, and sleep until I naturally wake up the next day.
"True death is oblivion. I have no relatives or friends in this world, except for you, with whom I have some connection. I hope you will not forget me."
After Ning Xian finished speaking, she ruffled Ruan Yang's hair, then got up, put on her cloak, and said with a smile, "Get some rest. Come with me to see the lanterns in a few days."
Ruan Yang wanted to refuse, but the man's figure disappeared around the corner in the blink of an eye, leaving only a wisp of ambergris fragrance lingering at her nose.
She gripped her sleeves tightly, and before she knew it, the flickering candlelight before her eyes became hazy.
Ning Xian, Ning Xian, her love and hate for you are so deeply etched in her heart, how could she possibly forget?
......
As the Spring Festival approaches, heavy snow is falling.
From the first light of dawn to the deepening twilight, the red lanterns under the eaves emitted a soft, warm glow, reflecting the gilded couplets and the snowflakes in the air in a golden hue.
Several small dishes and desserts were laid out in the warm pavilion of Chonghua Palace, waiting for Ning Xian to finish dealing with court affairs and return to have a few drinks with Ruan Yang.
Although it's snowing heavily today, there's no wind, and the temperature is much warmer than it has been in the past few days.
"You can go now, but remember to close the door behind you, or the food will get cold."
"yes."
The windows were tightly closed, the candles were extinguished, and it was pitch black inside the gauze curtains. After speaking, Ruan Yang closed her eyes again. She had been feeling lazy lately, and last night she had accidentally stayed up all night to make shoe soles for Lu Wenjin.
She slept straight through until evening, and when she woke up, someone told her that Ning Xian would be coming to have dinner with her that evening.
Ruan Yang did not want anyone to serve him closely. He took care of his own bathing and other needs, and there was no one watching him when he got up or went to bed.
She dozed off for a while, then struggled to get out of the warm bed. Still half asleep, she walked to the dressing mirror and, realizing it was too dark, picked up the tinderbox on the table and lit the silver candles one by one.
As the warm room gradually brightened, Ruan Yang caught a glimpse of herself in the bronze mirror. She was standing, and the mirror did not show her face, only her increasingly rounded waist and abdomen.
She unbuttoned the bottom button of her shirt, her palm gently stroking it.
It's been over five months, and the baby has been suffering alongside her even before she's fully in the womb. Fortunately, the baby is very well-behaved, only kicking her occasionally, unlike the previous months when it was much more tiring.
Ruan Yang muttered to herself, "I must promise my mother that I will grow up well. It's such a pity that your father never even touched you..."
After a long silence, Ruan Yang wiped away her tears and picked up a long, wide strip of cloth to wrap around her abdomen.
"What are you looking at?"
Ning Xian suddenly hugged Ruan Yang from behind.
Ruan Yang was taken aback, and couldn't help but call out softly. Her fingers trembled as she buttoned the last button of her coat, and she asked guiltily, "When...did you get here?"
Ning Xian pinched the tip of her nose and said jokingly, "I've been hiding under your bed the whole time. You were sleeping too soundly to notice me."
These words sent chills down Ruan Yang's spine, and a strong shiver ran through his heart.
But she soon realized that the door had been opened earlier, and Ning Xian must have come in at that time; she had just been too lost in thought.
Ruan Yang forced a smile: "You're always so smooth-talking..."
As soon as he finished speaking, Ning Xian let go of her and wearily went to the bed. He lay sprawled out and noticed a pair of newly sewn shoe soles next to Ruan Yang's pillow.
Ning Xian examined the item from all angles, while Ruan Yang stared at him, afraid that he would ruin his hard work.
He muttered, "For me?"
"...Yes, yours."
Ruan Yang was silent for a moment before saying, "Take it, it might be a bit cramped."
Ning Xian sat up and snorted, "This isn't my size, it's for Lu Wenjin, isn't it?"
Ruan Yang learned to compromise, and she no longer spoke highly of Lu Wenjin in front of Ning Xian.
She said, "I said it is, it was just an accident that I made it too small."
"Are you trying to make things difficult for me?"
Ruan Yang was slightly angry: "I was just trying to make you shoe soles, how could you say that to me?"
"No, I'll burn it right now."
After speaking, she snatched the item from Ning Xian's hand and placed it on the flame.
Ning Xian smiled and tugged at her sleeve: "If anyone says I don't want it, consider it your return gift."
"A return gift?"
Ning Xian nodded and said, "After we finish dinner, let's go out of the palace to play."
"...I don't want to go."
Ruan Yang turned her face away. She was only going out of the palace to see the lanterns and join in the fun, but the crowds were too big for her.
She said, "There are also many lanterns in the palace, which are a hundred times more beautiful than those in the common people."
Before she could finish speaking, Ning Xian looked at her coldly and said, "If we're not going out to play, let's get down to business and get through this lonely night."
………
The snowstorm subsided, the streets were cleared of snow, and with a few whooshing sounds, the sky was ablaze with fiery lights.
Ruan Yang lowered the carriage curtain and helped Lan Rong jump down from the carriage. Because she and Ning Xian were tied with the same chain on her wrists, Lan Rong did not have much freedom of movement.
"Can't the paper doll hide behind me?"
"......"
The streets were packed with people, and Ruan Yang was bumped into several times. For the safety of her unborn child, she had no choice but to obediently huddle behind Ning Xian.
A man's broad, sturdy shoulders keep all dangers at bay.
Ruan Yang walked absentmindedly, while Ning Xian spoke only intermittently.
Suddenly, she smelled a warm, sweet fragrance floating in the air.
This is her favorite candy. Whenever Lu Wenjin returned home late at night, no matter if it was windy or rainy, or how busy he was with official duties, he would ride his horse around to the candy shop on the west side to buy her her favorite candy.
It's a pity I haven't had this dish in so long; I don't know when I'll see Lu Wenjin again...
Ruan Yang stood on the dimly lit stone bridge. After a burst of cheers, Ning Xian burst into the sky and smiled at her, saying, "Do you like it? I started preparing for it months ago. This is a design I drew myself, exclusively for you, one of a kind."
"Wow, so beautiful! These fireworks are truly unique; I've never seen anything like them in Kyoto! They must have cost a fortune!"
Purple and green smoke enveloped the twilight, and sky lanterns slowly rose from the riverbank, as if the glow of sunset and the stars appeared at the same time.
It's beautiful and well-made, but what's the point?
If you really want to make her happy, you should let her go.
Not wanting to spoil his mood, Ruan Yang could only force a smile and say, "Yes, I like it. Thank you."
After speaking, Ruan Yang stared blankly at the sky for a long time. Ning Xian noticed the dimness in her eyes and unlocked the chain on her wrist: "Never mind, go for a walk by yourself, but be careful."
Without saying a word, Ruan Yang left the suffocating place and walked alone towards the market.
Ning Xian followed silently, standing in the shadows, watching the girl playing with the children. After a while, he turned his head and casually said, "Has Ruan Yang been acting a little different lately?"
"When I got off the carriage today, she actually offered to help me."
Upon hearing this, Lan Rong looked at the girl kneeling on the ground building a snowman, and her heart skipped a beat.
Having given birth and worked as a midwife, she was best able to distinguish between ordinary people and pregnant women.
Judging from Ruan Yang's gestures and her increasingly full breasts, she was clearly pregnant, and probably quite far along in her pregnancy.
But she didn't dare to say it, and kept it a secret from Ning Xian for a long time for Ruan Yang.
After all, it was a living, breathing human life. For a mother, it is an extremely painful thing to feel her own flesh and blood slowly dying inside her womb, yet be powerless to do anything about it.
Lan Rong didn't want to commit this sin.
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