Chapter 33 Life and Death "Pregnant?"
When Ruan Yang returned to her tent and found Ning Xian was not there, she got up and went to the small couch made of haystacks to spread out a quilt and pillow for him. There were less than two hours left before dawn, so Ruan Yang didn't have much time to rest and simply lay down next to him for the night.
There were quite a few guards on night watch, so she shouldn't have anything to worry about. However, even though Ruan Yang had her eyes closed, the restlessness in her heart made it difficult for her to fall asleep.
I wonder if Lu Wenjin's men have been able to track them down after she made such a fuss.
The candlelight inside the tent was dim, and the wind made the tent above her head sway. Ruan Yang endured the faint pain in her lower abdomen, got up and picked up Ning Xian's rabbit doll.
The rabbit was tattered beyond recognition, and the cotton inside had burst out. It would take some time to mend it. Ruan Yang had forgotten what it used to look like, so he put his coat back on and went out of the tent to find Ning Xian.
In the still of the night, with the campfire blazing, Ruan Yang, clutching her doll, inquired around and learned that Ning Xian was in the back mountain.
After walking alone for a while, she finally saw Ning Xian. He was kneeling on one knee, his black sleeves rolled up, his back to her, seemingly busy with something.
Upon seeing the figure, Ruan Yang felt a little relieved and started jogging over.
"Ning Xian?"
As soon as Ruan Yang called his name, she was stunned by what she saw. The doll in her arms had fallen to the ground unknowingly because her wrists had gone limp. The boy who was squatting on the ground turned around when he heard the sound. Bloodstains were splattered on his fair cheeks, and his hands were wet. The torch stuck in the ground made it impossible to tell what they were.
Coupled with the pool of flesh and blood in front of him and the owl's cry, the scene was extremely eerie and terrifying, as if the boy in front of her would rush up and tear her body apart at any moment.
Ruan Yang involuntarily took a few steps back. She covered her mouth, desperately trying not to make a sound. She turned her back and ran back to the camp before Ning Xian could speak.
Ning Xian scoffed at the little girl's panicked back, then calmly buried the remains and had the rest thrown into the river.
With nowhere else to go, Ruan Yang could only retreat back into the tent, hugging her knees as her body continued to tremble.
She couldn't understand how someone could do such a thing without batting an eye. If Ning Xian could be so cruel to her own siblings, would she one day do the same to her?
She really didn't want to stay around this evil spirit every day in fear.
In her hazy consciousness, a heavy object suddenly pressed down on her shoulder, followed by a surge of hot air mixed with the smell of blood rushing behind her ear.
"Why aren't you asleep so late at night? Are you waiting for me?"
Ning Xian pressed his entire body against Ruan Yang's back, and the girl, unable to bear the weight, could only lie down on the haystack with Ning Xian's weight.
Seeing that Ruan Yang's eyes were red, Ning Xian played with Ruan Yang's hair, raised an eyebrow and said, "You saw it?"
Ruan Yang hummed softly. She kept her eyes closed. The man was very close to her. Even though she had cleaned her clothes and the bloodstains, the lingering smell of blood on him was still hard to completely dissipate.
Ruan Yang swallowed hard, but her stomach still spasmed against her will. She frowned, enduring the pain with great difficulty.
Seeing her trying to suppress her nausea, Ning Xian felt a little displeased: "I specially burned incense before coming, and I smell very nice. Why are you disgusted by me?"
"I dare not..." Ruan Yang said.
Ning Xian snorted and snuggled her head closer to Ruan Yang's chest: "Fine, I won't hold it against you. Are you hungry? Let's get something to eat, okay?"
"Lan Rong, Yang Yang is starving! Hurry up and bring her some food!"
Lan Rong responded, and in less than a quarter of an hour, she brought a bowl of sizzling, oily roasted meat to Ning Xian: "Please enjoy your meal, Your Highness. This servant will take her leave."
Ruan Yang turned her head and looked at the steaming, curled-up pieces of meat under the candlelight, and shivered inexplicably.
She forced back her nausea and said, "I won't eat it."
Ning Xian's hand stopped at Ruan Yang's lips, and he frowned slightly: "Why? I think it smells quite nice."
"I don't eat this kind of thing..." Ruan Yang's lips were unknowingly burned red.
Ning Xian clicked his tongue and said, "Eat a little bit! What are you doing? This is wild boar meat that I roasted myself. It has nothing to do with our Third Prince. What if you starve to death if you don't eat?!"
After speaking, without waiting for Ruan Yang to refuse, he directly pried open the girl's jaw and stuffed the piece of roasted meat into her pearly teeth.
Ruan Yang groaned, the salty aroma of the meat bursting on her tongue, but the image of the Third Prince before his death kept flashing through her mind. After a while, she could no longer hold back, pushed Ning Xian away, and ran outside the tent to vomit.
Ning Xian followed slowly, her lips, which had been pursed, finally curving slightly thanks to the success of her prank.
He squatted down, handed Ruan Yang a pot of water, and said with a smile, "I was just teasing you. What Third Prince? You're just eating ordinary pork. The Third Prince's meat is smelly and rotten. I won't let you touch it."
Ruan Yang remained squatting, her head wearily leaning against the tree. She hadn't eaten much to begin with, and this vomiting left her trembling with exhaustion. Coupled with the cramps in her lower abdomen, she had no desire to listen to what Ning Xian was saying.
"What's wrong?" Ning Xian squatted down and looked at her, then asked in surprise, "Stomach ache?"
Ruan Yang nodded, and as a warm current gushed out from beneath her, she realized what it was.
She leaned against the tree trunk to get up, trembling as she said, "Don't follow me."
Ning Xian noticed that she was walking with her body hunched over, and after taking a few steps, there was a bloodstain the size of a palm on her skirt.
His heart tightened, and he strode over to carry the person back into the tent.
Ning Xian placed her palm on Ruan Yang's lower abdomen and said with lingering fear, "Does it still hurt a lot? I'm sorry, I'll go and call a doctor for you."
"Huh? No need, why call for a doctor? I'm used to it." Ruan Yang was a little confused by Ning Xian.
"What kind of habit? You've only had one miscarriage, don't you care about your health?"
Ruan Yang was taken aback: "Miscarriage?"
Ning Xian said anxiously, "The dates match up, so why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?"
Ruan Yang pushed him away and explained, "What miscarriage? What nonsense are you talking about? I just had my period. Besides, I drank contraceptive soup after I went back last time, and I had my period again later. I won't have a child."
"Not pregnant?"
Ruan Yang nodded.
After hearing this, Ning Xian finally quieted down, a clear hint of disappointment flashing in her eyes.
He hugged Ruan Yang from behind and gently stroked her lower abdomen, saying, "It's better if you're not pregnant. If you were, I wouldn't know how to protect you and your child in my current situation."
"However, I believe that the child we lost will return to us someday. When that time comes, you can focus on your pregnancy and not worry about anything."
"After I give birth safely, let me love him well, and let that child love me well too."
Ruan Yang: "..."
After a moment of silence, Ruan Yang actually wanted to tell Ning Xian that she would never have a child for him in this lifetime, and even if she were forced to give birth one day, she would not.
Ruan Yang also planned to never reveal the truth about that matter for the rest of her life. After all, it seemed that Ning Xian only had a shred of conscience and guilt towards his own flesh and blood.
He continued, "So I need to get your body back in shape first. You shouldn't get wet with cold water right now. Change your clothes and I'll go wash you clean."
Ruan Yang asked, "These undergarments are filthy, are you really going to wash them for me?"
"It's not dirty," Ning Xian said. "Change it off."
...
Not far away, a stream gurgled and splashed.
After this ordeal, Ruan Yang was wide awake. The morning dew was heavy, and she saw Ning Xian squatting by the river washing things. She took the shawl in her hand and covered him with it: "Ning Xian, you murdered the Third Prince. Aren't you afraid that His Majesty will hold you accountable?"
Ning Xian stopped what she was doing, turned to her and smiled: "You seem to care about me quite a bit."
"Is it strange? I should have always cared about you, right?"
Ruan Yang stared at the water and smiled, saying, "You are my husband, the one who has shared hardships with me. How could I not care about your life or death?"
She wasn't lying. In the past, she was indeed willing to give him everything. Now, they were in the same boat. If Ruan Yang wanted to survive in a place like the Northern Frontier, Ning Xian couldn't afford to get into trouble.
Ning Xian rested her head on Ruan Yang's shoulder: "The emperor intended for me to live a long life anyway, so what difference does it make whether I kill the Third Prince or not?"
He laughed and said, "Don't you want to get revenge for all the grievances you suffered before you die?"
Ruan Yang recalled the emperor's words in the secret chamber and sighed, "Perhaps, if you behave yourself, His Majesty will soften his heart. Otherwise, ever since the Duke of Dingguo failed in his assassination attempt on His Majesty, His Majesty could have executed you along with him."
Ning Xian scoffed after hearing this, "Is that so? You don't understand. In the imperial court, there's no room for so much sentimentality. If he really cared about the so-called father-son relationship, he wouldn't have sent me to the northern frontier as a hostage when I was five years old, without even letting me see my mother one last time."
Ruan Yang lowered her head and looked at him: "You were once a hostage?"
Ning Xian said calmly, "Yes, now it's just a matter of returning to where we came from."
Ruan Yang couldn't help but stroke Ning Xian's face and sighed, "Are you afraid to go back to the place where you were humiliated?"
Of course I'm scared! How could I not be?
The emperor knew he was suffering humiliation here, yet he still wanted to send him back to the place that haunted his nightmares every day. This was clearly an attempt to make him wish he were dead.
Ning Xian smiled earnestly and said, "No, even if I really die, you'll be with me. What am I afraid of?"
Ruan Yang silently glared at him: "How could I possibly survive?"
After Ning Xian finished speaking, she propped her head up and looked at her expectantly, saying, "Then I hope those people in the Northern Frontier will spare my life? However, you'd better listen to me, don't despise me, and don't help them bully me, otherwise if I'm gone, I'll definitely take you down with me."
"Oh, what if I'm very well-behaved?"
"Maybe I'll let you off the hook if I'm too soft-hearted," Ning Xian said with a smile. "Let you and your childhood sweetheart grow old together."
"When that time comes, I will enter your dreams every day and tell you never to forget me."
...
The next morning, the group set off early and traveled for almost half a month before finally reaching the border between the northern frontier and Daye, at Lizhou.
The climate here is dry and cold, with snow and wind as winter approaches. Because it is a border area, many merchants from the northern frontier have settled here and traded here.
Ruan Yang lifted the carriage curtain and saw that the terrain they were in consisted of rolling snow-capped mountains. It was noon before the rocks beneath the snow could be seen, and one could easily fall into a bottomless cliff if one was not careful.
The terrain here is unpredictable, and it's unclear whether Lu Wenjin's men have followed.
Ruan Yang rubbed his hands together, feeling a sense of familiarity with the scene.
Snow, wedding dress, a man wearing a straw raincoat sitting on horseback.
She looked at Ah Chou, who was resting with her eyes closed, and asked, "Sister Ah Chou, can you tell me how you met Lu Wenjin?"
Ah Chou opened his eyes: "He is my savior, it's that simple."
"Since you serve by his side, you must know a lot about me, right? Do I have an older sister who is the same age as me?"
Ah Chou said, "Yes, but she died a long time ago. You don't remember her."
Ruan Yang hesitated for a moment, then said, "I always feel like you know some things I don't. Also, you and Ning Xian are very close, aren't you?"
Ah Chou frowned. Ruan Yang's words implied that she suspected Ah Chou was Ning Xian's person.
"No, I have no private dealings with Ning Xian."
Ruan Yang remained silent after hearing this.
The carriage traveled along the mountain road for a while longer when suddenly, an arrow pierced the carriage, waking everyone from their drowsiness.
Ah Chou pushed Ruan Yang away, but the horse was already startled and galloped forward. Before long, the wheels of the cart got stuck on the exposed rocks and there was a cracking sound.
Ruan Yang was sent flying, crashing onto the snow and rolling uncontrollably toward the edge of the cliff. Even when she managed to grab onto a dead branch rooted in the ground, she could hardly stop herself from sliding down.
"Hold on tight!"
Ning Xian drew her dagger and thrust it forcefully into the snow. Fortunately, the friction slowed her descent.
But it was a snow-covered mountain after all, and the two of them had already fallen to the edge of the cliff. Fortunately, their descent was slow, and Ning Xian had a chance to grab onto a pine branch that was sticking out of the cliff.
Ning Xian, panting, said to Ruan Yang, who was hanging on his waist, "Ruan Yang, I can't hold on for long. Try to get up with my help."
Ruan Yang looked down at the bottomless abyss below, closed her eyes and nodded. She immediately grabbed Ning Xian's clothes and used the strength of her feet and branches to climb up little by little.
She glanced back at Ning Xian; he was about to give up. The wind and snow had turned his hands red, and his fingertips, digging into the sharp rocks, were bleeding.
Ruan Yang kept backing away, hesitated for a moment, then abandoned the person and ran away.
He's dead, and everything can end now.
Ruan Yang stumbled and ran a few steps, but for some reason, her vision became increasingly blurry until she could barely see the road ahead.
She fell to the ground, clutching the icy snow, her tears quickly melting it.
She realized that Ning Xian couldn't die right now.
The Ji family now only has Ji Zhonglin as their sole heir. He has fled to the border with the remaining troops to secretly gather power. If Ning Xian dies, he will completely cut off their means of obtaining information.
Lu Wenjin's chances of winning have diminished.
Ruan Yang rubbed her eyes, struggled to get up from the snow, and ran back.
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Author's Note: As I was writing, I realized the female lead couldn't possibly forget the male lead so quickly; she still has some feelings for him. Let's take it slow, letting her gradually and completely forget and even hate him...
Could a kind little one please give me some nutrient solution? My little tree is withering away! [crying][crying][crying]
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