Chapter 10 Heartache and Helplessness
It wasn't until much time had passed and Lu Zhaoxue had to return to the palace that she staggered out of her cousin's house, looking back every few steps.
The pain in Lu Zhaoxue's heart was still there, almost consuming her completely. She knew that she owed her sister and the entire Lu family.
If it weren't for her, her father wouldn't have died far from home, her mother wouldn't have passed away in despair, and Lu Zhaoxing wouldn't have suddenly fallen insane...
Lu Zhaoxue felt she should atone with her death, but she didn't even have the right to die; she had to hold on for Lu Zhaoxing's sake...
For Lu Zhaoxing's sake, and for Chu Siheng's sake who is still struggling to hold on in Jingyou Garden, she absolutely cannot fall!
Time flies, leaves have fallen from the branches and covered the ground, the chill is getting stronger day by day, and winter is approaching.
After dinner that evening, Chu Siheng looked at the bleak scene outside the window, frowned slightly, and said softly, "This Jingyou Garden is drafty on all sides. If we don't have enough charcoal in winter, we're afraid we'll have a hard time getting through it."
As soon as he finished speaking, Chu Siheng caught a glimpse of Lu Zhaoxue beside him. Lu Zhaoxue's long eyelashes drooped, and her eyes were clearly filled with tears that had not yet dried. Her expression was lonely and sad.
Chu Siheng's heart tightened, and he froze, then quickly asked, "Ah Xue, what's wrong? Who bullied you?"
Lu Zhaoxue raised her head, tears clearly visible in her eyes. She forced a bitter smile and finally told Chu Siheng everything about her visit to Lu Zhaoxing that day.
Upon hearing this, Chu Siheng's expression changed instantly, his eyes filled with heartache: "How could this be?! A perfectly healthy person... how could someone contract madness?!"
Back in the day, the Lu family was incredibly powerful, and Lord Lu was a trusted and relied-upon minister of His Majesty. Countless people would have given anything to curry favor with him, but life is unpredictable...
In just a few years, the Lu family was destroyed. Of the two remaining daughters, one became the deposed crown prince's wife and was imprisoned, while the other suddenly lost her mind and became mentally ill...
Chu Siheng sighed heavily, his gaze falling on his pale, powerless hands, and let out another heavy sigh.
His current situation is remarkably similar to that of the Lu family.
Once a high-ranking crown prince, he is now a prisoner, bedridden and unable to protect himself, let alone those around him.
"Ah Xue, what are your plans after this? You still need to get your sister treated properly," Chu Siheng asked in a heavy tone.
"I want to bring my younger sister to Jingyou Garden so I can take care of her myself." Lu Zhaoxue raised her eyes, her gaze filled with a hint of expectation, yet also with helplessness.
“My sister’s illness is a burden to my cousin and his wife. I don’t want to trouble them anymore. I want to take care of Zhaoxing myself so that I can have peace of mind.”
“But this Jingyou Garden…” Lu Zhaoxue shook her head and smiled bitterly before she could finish speaking.
Jingyou Garden is nominally Chu Siheng's residence, but in reality, it is a cage that Chu Huaiyu uses to imprison him. The garden is filled with palace guards.
With so many informants around, it's impossible for her to bring someone in to stay long-term. Even if she wants to go out for a little longer on a regular day, she has to report to the authorities at every level, and she's restricted in every way.
Chu Siheng remained silent for a moment upon hearing this, his brows furrowed. After pondering for a long time, he slowly said, "If... I were to go and plead with His Majesty..."
"No! You can't go to him!" Lu Zhaoxue quickly interjected to dissuade him.
She said urgently, "It's being said that Chu Huaiyu sees you as a thorn in his side and wants to get rid of you as soon as possible."
“If you take the initiative to go to him, wouldn’t you be like a lamb entering a tiger’s den? I’m afraid he’ll take the opportunity to scheme against you.”
Chu Huaiyu was a man of profound and unfathomable thoughts, with a cold and ruthless nature. Chu Siheng, on the other hand, was gentle and straightforward, and was no match for him.
She absolutely could not let Chu Siheng take this risk.
"If I don't go to him, do you think I'll let you go to him?" Chu Siheng gave a bitter laugh, his tone full of self-mockery and helplessness.
This husband of his was so incapable of even protecting his wife or helping her out of her predicament.
These words struck Lu Zhaoxue like a thunderbolt, jolting her awake.
Yes, Chu Siheng can't go. Perhaps she could try to find Chu Huaiyu herself, but... just thinking about what happened at Jingyou Garden last night.
Thinking of Chu Huaiyu, Lu Zhaoxue felt a chill run down her spine, and a coldness spread uncontrollably throughout her body.
That person clearly didn't love her, and even hated and loathed her, yet he insisted on clinging to her and wouldn't let her go.
If she were to offer herself up, wouldn't she be walking into a trap and being at the mercy of others?
But right now, besides Chu Huaiyu, who else can help her?
He controls everything in the world; only he has the power to give her what she wants.
Lu Zhaoxue was caught in a dilemma, her brows furrowed and her expression conflicted.
Looking at her like this, Chu Siheng tentatively said, "Or, should I ask the Empress Dowager to plead with His Majesty? After all, the Empress Dowager is his elder, and he might give her some face."
"No, no, absolutely not!" Lu Zhaoxue quickly shook her head and refused.
"The Empress Dowager already harbors prejudice against me. If I were to ask Chu Huaiyu for help because of me, it would only put her in a more difficult position. I don't want to cause her any more trouble."
She had always seen and remembered Empress Dowager Yu's dislike for her.
How could she trouble Empress Dowager Yu with her own private matters and make her look bad in front of Chu Huaiyu?
Chu Siheng looked at her, who always thought of others but always put herself at a disadvantage, and couldn't help but feel a little sorry for her.
"Ah Xue..." he called out to her suddenly in a deep voice.
Lu Zhaoxue looked up, puzzled, and met his gaze. She saw that his eyes were deep and his tone was solemn and firm: "I am your husband."
"Your difficulties are my difficulties. Whatever it is, I should bear it, instead of letting you face it alone."
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