Chapter 127 His Tears: I Don't Love You Anymore
These words were like a bomb in deep water, shaking people to their core, causing them to hesitate, their expressions darkening, and their vision to blur.
Who is he talking about?
"Emperor Hengluan?"
"Could the rumors be true!?"
"Has the Empress Hengluan really returned?"
"Then why doesn't she come out?"
"Are we just going to watch them all die?!"
"Dongxuan, Empress Hengluan has returned. Why won't you acknowledge it?" An elder looked at him with a complicated expression.
Emperor Dongxuan frowned, but before he could speak, another person said, "Could it be that she regretted it after being brought back to life?"
The meaning is clear even without words.
The expressions on everyone's faces varied.
Emperor Dongxuan frowned and scolded him, "What nonsense are you spouting?!"
Then, he swept his gaze over the group of old comrades who had fought side by side with him, and scolded, "What nonsense are you thinking?! Even if Hengluan really came back, how could you have such narrow-minded thoughts?! Stop using your petty mind to speculate about others!"
Then his sharp gaze fell on Gu Pingzhi, and he said coldly, "Hengluan died a hundred years ago. Stop spreading rumors here. If she were alive, she wouldn't have stood by and watched millions of people sacrifice themselves!"
Gu Pingzhi sighed and chuckled, "It seems none of you know? That Empress Hengluan returned long ago and has been hiding among you, concealing her identity..."
As he spoke, he scanned the group of people opposite him, shouting with amplification, his voice echoing throughout the entire mountain.
"Hengluan, if you come out and come with me, I will withdraw the demonic beasts that have gone to the human world!"
"I only need you. You alone can save the lives of countless fellow disciples and civilians!"
"Hengluan, stop hiding."
*
"Hengluan!"
Emperor Yuanguang rushed over and happened to run into Bai Yuheng and Pei Yuan, who were heading to Qingluan Peak.
"What's wrong? Why are you in such a hurry? Did Gu Pingzhi come out?"
Yuan Guang pulled her along, wanting to take her back, but Pei Yuan stopped him. He pulled her hand back, frowned, and asked, "What exactly happened?"
When they heard that Gu Pingzhi was leading a group of demonic beasts on Qingluan Peak, they rushed over to provide reinforcements.
Yuan Guang briefly recounted Gu Pingzhi's demands and the reactions of the crowd. He paused for a moment before continuing.
"The current situation is very unfavorable for you, and you cannot show your face now."
Upon hearing this, Pei Yuan's face, which was rarely angry, was filled with rage: "A bunch of heartless, ungrateful bastards! Do they really intend to hand over Yu'er in exchange for temporary peace?"
"Gu Pingzhi clearly did this intentionally. We have suffered heavy casualties in these battles. He came prepared, refining those demonic beasts to be even more ferocious and ruthless. All the sects have been severely weakened and their morale is low. If he really had this idea of exchanging one person for many, even if people don't believe it, they will. They just want a period of respite."
Pei Yuan roared, "Absurd! Gu Pingzhi is such a treacherous and cunning person! How can anyone believe what such a person says?!"
“Gu Pingzhi has already issued a death order. He wants to become the overlord of these three realms. If other sects do not obey, they will only repeat the path of being slaughtered and wiped out in the past…” Yuan Guang’s face was ashen. He hated Gu Pingzhi even more. He clenched his fist in his sleeve, wishing he could kill that person immediately. “One path is to live, but to bow down and submit; the other path is to die, to sacrifice oneself for the cause, to fight them to the death, and to resolutely uphold the dignity of the righteous path.”
Pei Yuan was furious and sneered, "You can believe the words of someone with ill intentions? I don't think we need anyone else to wipe out our family. We'll bring about our own destruction in less than a hundred years!"
Yuan Guang sighed, said nothing, and looked at the silent Bai Yuheng.
"Hengluan..."
The unspoken words are left unsaid.
Pei Yuan belatedly realized that his earlier resentment had turned into tension and vigilance. He gripped her hand tightly, as if afraid that she would disappear again if he let go.
"Yu'er!"
He clenched his trembling teeth and stared intently at her.
Bai Yuheng glanced at Yuan Guang, then looked at Pei Yuan, who shook his head at her with pleading in his eyes, gripping her hand tightly.
"I……"
"No!" Before Bai Yuheng could speak, Pei Yuan coldly rebuked her, the veins on his forehead bulging. "There are clearly many ways to solve this! Why did you have to choose this one that specifically pierces my heart!?"
Bai Yuheng had a headache. They had just agreed not to have a cold war or argue, so why was Pei Yuan always so sensitive and sharp when it came to this kind of issue?
"Yuan'er..."
"Don't call me that!!!" Pei Yuan released her hand, his eyes bloodshot as he glared at her. "It was like this a hundred years ago! Do we have to do it again now?"
"I……"
Pei Yuan looked at her coldly and resentfully. This was the first time Bai Yuheng had ever seen such an expression on his face, especially towards her.
"Have you even considered my feelings?!"
"Yuan'er..."
"Shut up! I don't want to hear your righteous words right now!" Pei Yuan glared angrily, his eyes red and moist, his chest heaving rapidly.
With a flick of his sleeve, he shook off the Yuan Guang Emperor beside him, then reached out and pulled her into his arms.
Pei Yuan held her tightly, lightly touched the ground with his toes, and flew back to Wangxian Mountain with her in his arms, closing the door to the bedroom.
"Smack!"
The sturdy sandalwood door was slammed shut, blocking out the bright sunlight and silencing all sounds outside the bedchamber.
"Hmm!"
Pei Yuan, like a raging lion, grabbed her wrist, gripped her neck, and kissed her deeply and urgently, biting, crushing, and forcibly taking her...
One hand deftly and skillfully untied her belt and her clothes, then bit her fair and tender skin hard until he tasted the metallic taste of rust in his mouth.
"Ah!" Bai Yuheng cried out in pain, looking down at him, and saw a bright red ring of teeth marks on his chest.
"Pei Yuan!" Bai Yuheng was furious and shouted at him. The brat had used so much force that the bite had drawn blood.
"Do you even have me in your heart?" Pei Yuan slowly raised his head from his chest to look at her, his icy fingertips pressing on her heart, his voice ethereal and indistinct.
"Was it because I shielded you from that heavenly lightning that you were moved and agreed to be with me?"
Pei Yuan asked her in a hoarse voice.
He gripped her shoulders tightly and shook her violently, his eyes wide with fury: "Tell me! Is it true or not?!"
"No, Pei Yuan." Bai Yuheng calmed herself down and said to him calmly, "I love you, that's true."
"Oh."
“But in your heart, I can never compare to the greater righteousness you hold dear—your fellow disciples, your people…”
"Yes or no?"
Pei Yuan's expression was sorrowful, and he questioned her with every word as if he were crying blood.
Bai Yuheng pursed her lips, not wanting to answer his question. How could these two things be compared?
Pei Yuan gave a self-deprecating laugh: "As expected, as expected..."
“I only want your heart,” he pleaded, pointing to his chest, “a unique heart that can’t hold anyone else.”
Bai Yuheng sighed helplessly, saying, "This is impossible, Pei Yuan..."
"Possibly! Why not?!" Pei Yuan glared angrily, on the verge of collapse. "I am, I am!"
He poked his heart: "My heart, this very heart, holds only you! Only you! If I had to abandon everyone else in the world and choose only you, I would do it without hesitation!"
Why, why can't you be like me? Share your heart with me?
"Give it to me completely?"
“Yasheng…”
"I can do it! Why can't you!?"
"You like kind and gentle people, so I'll learn to be kind too! You like obedient and well-behaved people, so I'll learn to control my temper and pretend to be a gentle and unassuming gentleman! You admire diligence and competence, so I practice my skills day and night without stopping, just so you can see me..."
Why?
Why can't you see me? Why can't you love me wholeheartedly? Why?!
Pei Yuan was on the verge of madness.
"I hate you! I hate that you have so much righteousness in your heart! I hate that you have so many people in your heart! I hate you! I hate that you can't love only me..."
"Why? Why?"
"Why do you think that is?!" Pei Yuan held her arms tightly, his bloodshot eyes staring into hers, trying to see a trace of love in her eyes.
Suddenly, Pei Yuan released his grip, took several steps back, and tilted his head back, forcing back the tears that were about to fall.
Why can't you be just me?! Why do you have to carry so many people on your shoulders?!
"Don't look at me like that!" Pei Yuan said angrily, "Why can't you belong to me forever! Why did you risk your life to save those insignificant people!"
"I'd rather they all be dead than see you vanish into thin air before my eyes once again!"
He was breathing heavily.
"Do you know how long I knelt in the Huaying Hall that day? How desperate I felt? I watched you leave, bound by you, powerless to break free..."
Why don't you turn around and look at me!
Why didn't you take me with you?!
Pei Yuan covered his eyes, choking back tears.
"I desperately tried to break free from those shackles, but when I got there, I could only watch you sacrifice your primordial spirit. Why did you say those words in the first place?! Why did you make me wait for you to come back!"
"Why!"
"Do you know that I've waited a whole hundred years for these words?! Countless days and nights have passed, countless sleepless nights have ebbed and flowed, countless times the stars have shifted..."
"Do you know what it's like to know there's no hope, yet still hold onto a sliver of hope—hope that you're still here, hope that you can't bear to part with me, hope that you'll come back to me..."
"I went to the Hall of Eternal Life to pray, to Buddha, to Bodhisattva, to ask you to come back, I prayed again and again..."
"My heart is breaking, my soul is being torn apart. I keep recalling the past, and the pain of reality keeps replaying in my mind. Do you know that?"
His once straight and upright back slumped down in dejection, his broad shoulders trembled, and strands of his black hair turned silver.
"Then you really came back..."
"That's wonderful. When I knew you were still alive, I went to the Hall of Longevity to fulfill my vow. I was willing to exchange my lifespan for yours, even if it meant dying right now. I was so happy, so incredibly happy..."
"That day was the happiest moment of my life."
"But what about you! You've come back, you've come back under an assumed name! And you don't even want to acknowledge me!"
"If I don't know, when will you finally tell me?!"
Pei Yuan hated her, hated her to death! He wished he could devour her!
"If you had to choose one person to tell, wouldn't Yuan Guang be the first one you tell?!"
Crystal-clear water droplets dripped from between my fingers, bursting loudly as they fell to the ground.
"You have such a cruel heart, such a cruel heart..."
Bai Yuheng hugged him tightly.
"Why did you leave me all alone? You rescued me, you promised to stay with me for life..."
Pei Yuan leaned on her shoulder, inhaling her light, cool fragrance.
Why aren't you saying anything? Why aren't you angry? Do you think I'm crazy?
Do you hate me?
Pei Yuan was about to look up at her expression when he spoke, but he was afraid of seeing a disgusted or repulsive look on her face.
Why do you smile at others? Why do you talk to others?
"Why are you so calm? Why are you so calm towards me?"
He reached out and lightly grabbed her neck, his voice sharp: "Why can't you just smile at me! Why can't you just look at me! Why can't you just talk to me! Why am I not the most special one in your heart!"
"You provoked me first! Why, why am I the only one suffering?! How can you just leave like that, just abandon me like that?!"
"I hate you! I hate you! Bai Yuheng, I hate you!"
"Hahahaha..." Pei Yuan laughed maniacally, "I don't want to like you anymore, I don't want to love you anymore..."
Pei Yuan pulled away from her, turned his back to her, and hunched his back.
"Loving you is so tiring, so painful..."
"From the day you left me, I stopped loving you, I stopped loving you..."
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