When I left the bar, I felt like the world had become somewhat dark.
I am not afraid of death.
Because I had already prepared myself for death.
But I fear living a life worse than death, and I fear being powerless to help when my mind and emotions are tormented and I am betrayed.
This feeling is absolutely terrible.
But it seems that God doesn't want to let me off so easily. I guess He's retaliating against me for trespassing into this world that doesn't belong to me.
Song Qingrong chased after her.
I wanted to get away from her, but this time she clung to me like a leech.
Yes, this is the first time I've described her like this, the first time I've felt that she... disgusts me.
If it weren't for her, I wouldn't have seen Gu Nianci here again, wouldn't have been humiliated in front of so many eyes again, and wouldn't have been cut all over by that knife called emotion.
But at this moment, I was out of control and even my breathing was a little uneven. I couldn't even outrun Song Qingrong. She stopped me and called out my name.
"Xu Ruo".
"Let me explain."
I took a deep breath to calm myself down, and it took me a while to restrain the urge to yell at her. I looked at her and tried to speak as calmly as possible: "How else do you want to explain?"
"Explain how you betrayed me?"
"Song Qingrong".
"You're amazing."
“We’ve always been together, even though Gu Nianci doesn’t know you, but you still managed to help her find me.”
"What exactly did she give you that made you able to..."
"You don't even want friends!"
“I was the one who found her!” Song Qingrong’s eyes reddened.
Her words left me stunned.
Before I could ask any more questions, she spoke again: "Xu Ruo, I don't want to see you become like this, so pathetic, so lacking in confidence and dignity."
You shouldn't do that.
"In my memory, you are confident and spirited, and it seems that nothing can affect your emotions or hinder your direction."
"But what about you now?"
"Why don't you look in the mirror? What do you look like right now?"
"And then?" I looked at her and spoke in the coldest tone I had ever used in my life: "I know better than anyone what I am. If you stopped me just to tell me this, to tell me that I am nothing now."
"Then you really don't need to!"
"I didn't!" Song Qingrong took a step forward, and I took a step back. She continued to move forward, and I continued to retreat, until there was only a wall behind me, and there was no way to retreat.
"I know that no matter what I say now, you won't believe me anymore."
"But Xu Ruo, I hope you can understand."
"You know Gu Nianci better than anyone else. If she can't achieve her goal, do you think things will go smoothly for you afterwards?"
"And do you know how much she hates you?"
"You almost killed her youth, you made her wait for Xu Yan for so many years, do you know how many times she wanted to tear you to pieces in her heart?"
"Now you let go, you choose divorce."
"Yes, it is indeed the best option for you, but do you think you can get away unscathed without paying a price?"
"Agree to her request, and once she achieves her goal, you can get a divorce. That's the best outcome for you right now."
Do you understand?
"You can't beat her!"
"You can't beat them!"
Yes, I can't beat them.
But am I really no match for them?
At that moment, I felt like I had a fishbone stuck in my throat. I stared at Song Qingrong until she seemed uncomfortable with my gaze, then I sneered and pushed her away.
"That's my business, what does it have to do with you?"
I said the most hurtful thing: "Song Qingrong".
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