"Afang, go and take the civil service exam after you graduate." This is what everyone in the family says.
"Afang, why don't you take the special post exam?" People who are not very sensible will also say this.
But Afang had no idea of her own and she didn't know what exam she wanted to take. She just took this and that. It happened to be during the epidemic, and she only passed the written test for the "Three Supports and One Assistance" program. She went to take the municipal exam, but she kept postponing it and didn't know when she would take the exam.
She was also very anxious, but her family kept urging her.
"I have no choice. Because of the epidemic, there are no exams. It's no use for you to urge me. I want to take the exam too."
Despite her explanation, her family still used it as an excuse: "There's a red line now. After you turn 35, you're not allowed to take the exam. If you don't take the exam, everyone will be fresh graduates in the future.
You are not a fresh graduate this year, right? If you never take the exam again, what else do you want to take? Don’t you envy others who become civil servants? Don’t you envy your uncle who becomes a cadre?
Her family's nagging gave her a headache. A person without her own opinion never knew what she wanted to do.
Fortunately, there is a cool colleague Li Miaomiao in the company who comforts her a little, but there is also a test within the test Su Ziyi who puts pressure on her every day, and even the goblin Liu Meiyi is clamoring to take the special position exam.
"I say, Afang, why are you so anxious? You don't have to take the civil service exam. Can't you make games? It's good to work in a company." Li Miaomiao said this in a very relaxed manner.
"I don't know what I want to do. My family has always wanted me to take the civil service exam."
"Think clearly about what you want to do. Some people have advised me to take the civil service exam, but I've always rebuked them."
For a long time, Afang treated Li Miaomiao as a good friend. She envied Li Miaomiao's carefreeness and the fact that she never had to worry about these things. She wanted to be a person with her own opinions, but she was not one, only Li Miaomiao was.
Afang was envious again and again, and she didn't know when it started, but jealousy arose, and slowly turned into hatred.
Afang defended Li Miaomiao many times. When Ji Yixiang bullied Li Miaomiao, she spoke up. Afang scolded Ji Yixiang for his excessive behavior such as scattering thumbtacks and giving aphrodisiacs.
She loved Li Miaomiao, but she couldn't resist the hatred in her heart.
Until that day, Li Miaomiao was punished and Zhou Pei came out to settle it for her.
Afang cried. Why did her uncle treat Li Miaomiao closer to her than herself? Could it be that Li Miaomiao was his niece?
Later, due to conflicts, Li Miaomiao went to work in Zhou Pei's department, and Afang became more and more jealous.
But Li Miaomiao's enthusiasm made her feel guilty, and she felt uncomfortable when Li Miaomiao shared her life with her every day. She wished Li Miaomiao would not be so nice to her, so that she could hurt her openly.
On the day the city was locked down due to the epidemic, a conflict finally arose. Li Miaomiao was locked down, while others had to go to work. Afang didn't want to go to work, so Liu Xi said to her: "Go ask Li Miaomiao why she doesn't go to work while we go. It's not fair for her not to come."
Finally, unable to resist the instigation and suppress the jealousy in her heart, Afang made that phone call.
"The city is closed due to the epidemic. My words don't count. If I had the final say, I would tell all of you not to go."
It was not the first time that Afang heard Li Miaomiao speak in such a tone, but it was the first time for her.
After hanging up the phone, the two never contacted each other again.
At night, Ah Fang lay in bed, filled with regret, wondering: Was she bad to you? Did she hurt you? Did she not consider you a friend?
He's the only one in the whole unit who treats you well, and she's the only one who shares everything with you, and you actually treat her like this. Zhou Lifang, are you still a human being?
Afang started to cry as she thought about it, but no matter how much she regretted it, she always felt that she had gotten on a pirate ship and could not get off. Li Miaomiao had already begun to hate her, so what if she hated her even more? It was irreparable anyway, so she might as well doubly hurt her.
Later, Afang joined the crusade camp composed of Liu Meiyi and others, and bullied Li Miaomiao on a large scale.
On Chinese New Year's Day, Zhou Qi came to Afang and said, "Sister, why have you been so worried these past two months? Did anyone bully you? If so, tell me and I'll beat him up for you."
"No, I just feel that I have hurt someone who is good to me. I have done something wrong. I am not a human being."
Zhou Qi listened quietly as Afang finished talking about the love-hate relationship between herself and Li Miaomiao.
"Sister, this is your fault. She's so nice to you, how could you hurt her? Are the girls in that crusade camp you joined nice to you?"
Yes, the girls in that camp were not nice to me. Su Ziyi looked down on everyone every day, and since she was a head taller than me, she always looked down on me.
Liu Meiyi mocked Afang every day for being single and said, "Afang, you are a blooming peony. Do you want to bloom for thirty years?"
Guo Xiaoting is very ostentatious all day long, showing off all kinds of big brands in front of her, and making fun of her own poverty in both open and covert ways.
They are not as good as Li Miaomiao, and the black sheep effect is like this: in order to show solidarity, a group will try their best to exclude one person, and when this person is excluded, they will start to exclude the next person.
Obviously, Afang is most likely to be the one being excluded, and now she has become one.
The following year, she resigned and left the group. Finally, as Li Miaomiao said, she found a game company and met the second person who cared about her - Li Lu.
Li Miaomiao handled Afang's resignation and spoke without any expression. She was even gentler to the invisible Qiqiao than to Afang.
Afang came to Li Lu's house many times. Li Lu washed her hair and cooked for her. She seemed to have experienced a tenderness that she had not experienced in more than 20 years.
Li Lu's attentive care diluted Afang's guilt towards Li Miaomiao. She started a new life, but she never expected that Li Lu would treat her badly later.
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