Chapter 42 Her Despair
After a few moments, the woman on the couch sat up, clutching the quilt. Dai Li didn't turn to look at the man beside her; her eyes were lowered as she gazed at the brocade pattern on the quilt, her voice as soft as the wind, "Can we really find it?"
Not one or two years, not three or four years, but a full ten years.
Even an adult like her, who has some knowledge of ancient times due to her work, is struggling here, let alone a child under ten years old.
In third grade, Zhouzhou hasn't even started learning science subjects that are only introduced in junior high. He knows nothing. How is he supposed to survive in this cannibalistic feudal era?
Moreover, during a casual conversation with Nalan Zhi a few days ago, Dai Li inadvertently learned that a great famine had occurred in various places nine years ago.
Unlike modern agriculture, which has long been industrialized, ancient agriculture lacked machinery and chemically synthesized compound fertilizers, resulting in very limited grain production.
At that time, not only was there a once-in-a-century drought, but also an insect plague. Not only the north, but even the Yangzhou area in the southeast was greatly affected.
Starving corpses littered the fields, cries of hunger and cold filled the air, bandits roamed freely, and a bushel of millet cost a thousand coins. Commoners could only swallow tree bark and eat bundles of grass, exchanging children to eat, and families scattered like flies.
When Dai Li was organizing the books, she came across the poem "Lament of the Vegetable Eaters" with the lines "Two arms were first severed and hung in the butcher shop, then the fat thighs were cut off to make soup." She felt that the line "In the great famine, people eat each other" was an evil curse. But after all, it was history, a flat description in black and white, and a tragedy that would never be repeated in modern times. Therefore, apart from feeling uncomfortable, she did not have any particular feelings at the time.
However, now, the thought of her child possibly being cut up and cooked alive during that famine sent chills down Dai Li's spine. Her heart ached with a sharp, throbbing pain that made her unconsciously curl up into a ball.
She couldn't help but think about how, amidst the child's desperate cries and calls for his mother, that gleaming knife suddenly fell.
So the skin and flesh were cut open, and bright red blood gushed out like a spring, revealing the white bones.
Pieces of tender meat fell into the pot, and a group of diners whose faces were obscured cheered. Each of them held a bowl and spoon and rushed to eat the steaming human flesh soup.
Hu Bao brought back not only news, but also a snake made of ice. The snake burrowed deep into Dai Li's heart, its sharp serrated teeth slowly gnawing at her flesh.
A chill rose from the depths of her heart, and Dai Li began to shiver uncontrollably.
Suddenly, the brocade quilt beside her was grabbed, spread out, and draped over her, covering her from the neck down completely.
Through the blanket, that large, dark hand covered her hand resting on her knee. "As long as you don't lose heart, there is always hope."
Spring is coming to an end, and summer is just around the corner. The quilt is not as thick as it used to be, and the warmth of the other person's palm can be felt through the thin quilt.
Dai Li remained with her head down, like a porcelain doll whose spirit had been drained, neither responding nor making a sound.
Just then, Nianxia and Bipo returned.
Nianxia was not surprised to find Qin Shaozong in the room. After the two women curtsied, Nianxia respectfully said, "Madam, the medicine is ready. Please drink it while it's hot."
Dai Li remained wrapped in the blanket, not moving.
"Give it to me." Qin Shaozong raised his hand to Nianxia.
Just as the medicine bowl was about to be handed to him, Dai Li whispered, "I'll drink it myself."
Qin Shaozong paused slightly, but then took it from Nianxia's hands. Brewing the medicine was time-consuming, and it had only recently been prepared. However, considering the temperature shouldn't be too hot, Bi Po had carefully cooled it with warm water earlier, so the temperature was now just right.
After handling the medicine bowl, Qin Shaozong confirmed that the temperature was just right and said, "No one is allowed to leave any."
Dai Li stretched out a hand from the cocoon-like quilt and, under the watchful eyes of the three, silently and slowly drank the medicine.
She couldn't taste anything; all the bitterness gathered in her heart, leaving her no time to distinguish anything else.
After she finished her medicine, Dai Li handed over the bowl, but still didn't look at anyone. She just lowered her head and said in a muffled voice, "I want to rest."
Qin Shaozong sat to the side, and from his angle, he could only see her long, dark hair hanging down, covering half of her profile. The crimson at the corners of her eyes was much heavier than usual, and he could vaguely see the tears still glistening in her eyes.
After Dai Li finished speaking, she wrapped herself in the blanket and lay down, curling up on her side with her back to the others.
After observing her for a moment, Qin Shaozong stood up and instructed the two women, "Take good care of Madam."
The medicine probably contained calming herbs. Not long after Dai Li lay down, her mind began to drift away, and she vaguely heard Qin Shaozong's voice and the two women's responses.
Then, she fell into a dream.
Dreams, endless nightmares, nightmares without memory and without any logic.
In my dream, there were nine suns in the sky. The blazing sunlight scorched the earth, and the surface temperature so high that the air density changed drastically, distorting my vision. It was as if the road ahead was constantly bumping along with the waves of heat.
The earth gradually dried up, and the rivers stopped flowing in the heat. Crops in the fertile fields withered and died, and even the most tenacious weeds by the roadside were tinged with a lifeless, waxy yellow. Dai Li didn't know where she was. In her dream, she endured the scorching sun, determined to find the school where her son studied.
Suddenly, a small village appeared ahead, with triangular thatched huts standing in rows, and a crooked tree growing beside each hut. Dai Li was overjoyed, thinking that she had finally found a shady place. She would rest there for a while, and then ask someone for directions to the school to pick up her son from his studies.
The crooked tree was directly in front of the thatched hut. When Dai Li arrived at the tree, she saw that the hut was wide open, but there was no one inside.
What family is so careless as to forget to lock the door when they go out?
Dai Li helped them close the door, but when she turned around, she saw that the other houses near this hut also had their doors quietly open. Drawn to her, she went closer and saw that this house was exactly the same as the others, and no one was there either.
Dai Li's suspicions arose, and she looked around at the thatched huts one by one.
Of the ten houses, nine were completely empty.
A warm breeze swept by, carrying yellowish-brown dust and fallen leaves that landed on her clothes and shoes. But Dai Li didn't care to brush the leaves off her skirt, because she finally heard a sound in the wind.
The once-silent village now had human voices besides her.
The sun blazed down harder, as if trying to evaporate every drop of moisture from the earth. Dai Li trudged along, her footsteps echoing through the cracked yellow earth. After walking a long way, until her throat was parched, she finally spotted someone.
It was a simply dressed woman, standing sideways to Dai Li, slowly walking towards the cottage in front of her.
The hot wind was still blowing, lifting a long, tubular piece of fabric with large patches of red, as if a mischievous child had accidentally spilled a palette.
"Brother, I'm back," the woman said.
A gaunt man emerged from the house and asked the woman, "How was it? How much did you sell?"
"A full three thousand coins!" The woman raised one hand, revealing an old, red and white patchwork cloth bag with the shape of copper coins faintly visible on its surface. "The butcher saw that I sold a whole carcass and said it was a special offer for new customers, so he gave me a small piece of meat as a gift. I heard it was a little boy who had been separated from his mother by accident. He has delicate skin and tender flesh, and his skin is smooth with very little sweat. Young man, let's go inside and eat."
Dai Li couldn't understand what they were saying.
Why did the story start by mentioning the butcher giving away small pieces of meat, and then suddenly turn into a story about a child who was separated from his mother?
"Little sister, what brings you here?" The woman suddenly turned around.
Dai Li clearly didn't recognize her, but when the other woman looked at her, she inexplicably felt she should go along with her and reply, "I just happened to be passing by..."
The conversation ended abruptly thereafter.
She stared in horror at the woman's left sleeve, which was completely empty; the hot wind easily lifted it up. Blood was still spreading uncontrollably from her shoulder blade, staining a large, glaring red patch.
The woman seemed to feel no pain. She stepped forward with a face as pale as gold paper, and a smile bloomed on her face, which looked like the cracked earth. "Little sister, you've come at the right time. We happen to have some meat at home today. Come, come to my house as a guest, and I'll treat you to the best dishes and meat."
Dai Li was about to politely decline when she was grabbed by the wrist.
The woman's strength was extraordinary, unlike that of an injured person. Dai Li couldn't break free and was pulled into the hut.
The house was old and worn, the floor covered with a layer of yellowish-brown dust, and the table, missing a leg, was propped up with pebbles. The man took the cloth bag and went to the kitchen at the back, leaving only the two of them in the small hall.
The woman opposite her didn't engage in small talk; she just kept smiling at her, a smile that was perfectly natural, like a pre-programmed message, making Dai Li's scalp tingle. Just as she was about to find an excuse to leave, the man who had just gone into the kitchen returned.
He held a chipped ceramic plate in one hand. "Little sister, come and have lunch."
The ceramic dishes were placed on the table. One dish contained several pieces of tree bark, and the other contained a pale piece of meat with incomplete brown patterns around its edges.
"Little sister, come and have a taste. This is the freshest little cub. He was still alive when we took the meat." The woman began to speak as if a program had been activated, and she eagerly invited Dai Li to eat.
Dai Li didn't move; she stared intently at the pattern on the piece of flesh that looked like a birthmark.
It was clearly incomplete, yet it felt strangely familiar to her.
The gears in my mind, which had been stuck, started turning little by little as the other person spoke.
The baby boy, separated from his mother by accident, the freshest little one, to be butchered, Zhouzhou...
"That's such a lively little boy! He was slashed several times but still cried for his mother and said he wanted to report it to the authorities. Hahaha, it's hilarious! Who would come to his rescue? Nobody could save him!"
Thick blood suddenly seeped from the pale flesh, flowing continuously down the slightly tilted table and onto Dai Li, forming a blood-red mirror on the table. In the mirror, that familiar small figure was being held down by two burly men, one of whom held a butcher's knife.
The knife fell, and blood splattered everywhere.
Two streams of bloody tears flowed from the crying child's eyes.
"No, Zhouzhou!!"
A golden sun fell from the sky, and flames spread like wildfire. Crooked trees were burned to ashes, thatched huts were set ablaze, and fire engulfed Dai Li. Fierce fire snakes leaped onto her body, devouring her flesh.
*
Qin Shaozong was awakened by the commotion outside. First, there was whispering, followed by footsteps running outside.
The man on the bed opened his eyes, and in less than a few moments, his brown pupils were as clear as ever. As if remembering something, Qin Shaozong got up from the bed, put on his robe, and walked out.
The main house and the side house were in the same courtyard, with a layout very similar to the reception hall of the Jiang family mansion. After leaving the main house, Qin Shaozong walked for a while and arrived at the side house where Dai Li lived.
In this night that should have been completely silent, this side room was brightly lit.
Qin Shaozong stepped inside, passed through the hanging round beaded curtain, and saw the short maid kneeling on the step stool one level below the couch.
“Bibole, you’ve finally…”
Nianxia thought it was Bipo who had returned, but when she turned around and saw who it was, she was so shocked that her face changed drastically. "My lord, did I...did I disturb you?"
Qin Shaozong ignored her words and went forward. As he got closer, he saw the woman's condition on the bed.
She curled up on her side, her cheeks burning red, even her pale ears were bright red, but this discordant color did not reach her lips, which were usually bright red but were now covered with a lifeless white.
Grayish-white, dry, like peony petals that have been dehydrated for a long time and are about to wither.
“Madam has developed a high fever and is still trapped in a nightmare. I just sent Bibo to fetch Mr. Ding,” Nianxia said, holding a damp handkerchief.
"No, Zhouzhou..." Dai Li's heart-wrenching cries in her dream are now just low murmurs.
However, now that it was late at night and all was quiet, the two people beside the bed heard it.
Qin Shaozong: "Give me the handkerchief."
Nianxia hurriedly handed over the handkerchief that had just been changed with both hands, and at the same time stepped back from the footboard next to the tatami.
Qin Shaozong sat beside the couch, folded a handkerchief and placed it on Dai Li's forehead. When his fingertips touched her forehead, the almost burning temperature immediately came through.
The man frowned and checked her pulse at the side of her neck; that skin was also burning hot, as if a scorching furnace was hidden beneath it. But upon closer inspection, Qin Shaozong realized that Dai Li was shivering uncontrollably.
High fever and chills are symptoms that are usually accompanied by cold hands and feet. Qin Shaozong lifted the blanket slightly, reached in, and grasped the clenched fist of that fair hand.
It was indeed very cold, like a block of ice.
She gripped the weight so tightly that the veins on the back of her hand turned a bluish-green, like jade, and even her knuckles turned slightly white from clenching her fists.
Qin Shaozong's long fingers reached in from below, forcefully squeezing into her palm and then spreading it open. As expected, a row of deep crescent-shaped marks was left on her palm, so red that it seemed to bleed.
Unable to grasp her own palm, Dai Li's fingernails dug into the back of Qin Shaozong's fingers with considerable force, leaving another crescent-shaped mark.
"Don't grab him, don't cut his flesh..." Her eyelashes trembled violently, and tears welled up between her eyes, making them appear even more noticeable, before falling rapidly like beads from a broken string.
Tears fell onto the brocade pillow, blooming into tiny water droplets.
The tiny water droplets, insignificant compared to a downpour or the splashing waves of a river, held Qin Shaozong's gaze for a long time. He raised his other hand to stroke the corners of her reddened eyes, wiping away the overflowing tears. "Dreams can't be taken seriously. No one dares to arrest him."
The person trapped in the nightmare was unaware, still immersed in her own world. She cried so hard that her eyes and nose were red. When she sobbed, her neck unconsciously bent inward, and that fair neck was like a fragile bow that would break if it were stretched any tighter.
The brocade scarf draped over Dai Li's forehead fell off.
Qin Shaozong picked up the brocade handkerchief and found that the inside had been heated, and the outside had also become less cold.
"Change it to another one."
Nianxia, who had been waiting on the side, hurriedly handed over another brocade handkerchief.
The brocade towel, freshly soaked in water, was quite cool. The moment it was placed on her burning forehead, Dai Li shuddered violently. Ice and fire clashed once more, and the already cracked dream shattered with a deafening roar. She finally broke free from the hopeless nightmare.
As she awoke, the dream and reality seemed to still be intertwined, making it impossible to distinguish between falsehood and truth, illusion and reality. Dai Li stared blankly at the man before her, without any reaction.
A tear clung to her long eyelashes, ready to fall, and as she emerged from her dream and came to a standstill, the tear remained suspended. The candlelight shone through, turning the mirror into a delicate reflection, clearly showing his image.
The long fingers that had previously wiped away tears slowly curled up, the rough, calloused fingertips hidden in the palm, while the relatively smooth back of the fingers gently touched her long eyelashes, catching the glistening tear.
Suddenly feeling an unusual sensation on her eye, Dai Li blinked instinctively, her long, damp eyelashes sweeping down and lightly brushing against her dark skin.
Qin Shaozong withdrew his hand, his eyes filled with a terrifyingly deep darkness, but his voice was calm and reassuring, “The name ‘Qin Yanzhou’ will spread throughout the states. As long as your son is alive, he will know that your wife is looking for him.”
Author's Note: You're all asking when it will be released, so all I can say is: spoilers are not welcome qaq
I desperately need nutrient solution! [Green heart]
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