[54. I hate you]
In fact, Zheng Xuhe understands this truth better than anyone else, but he has always been unwilling to accept this fact.
He and Cheng Qingxing had been in love, and he was unwilling to let go.
"I understand." Zheng Xuhe's voice was choked with sobs, and his eyes were inexplicably red.
Cheng Qingxing was stunned. This was the first time he saw Zheng Xuhe's tears.
They have known each other for a long time, since college, and until now, he has never seen Zheng Xuhe cry.
Zheng Xuhe is an Alpha, so he won’t cry.
This is Cheng Qingxing's stereotype. When he cried, he was actually a little panicked.
He hurriedly handed him the tissue box beside him and said, "You...you...you, don't cry."
Although his words were comforting, his tone was inexplicably provocative, which made people feel uncomfortable.
Zheng Xuhe took the tissue box from his hand, wiped the corners of his eyes, and said nothing.
"Anyway, this is the only way we can go." Cheng Qingxing said to him with a smile, "I am very grateful to you for giving me this opportunity. If you are unable to make it in the future, I will definitely help you."
There was no credibility in what he said, and Zheng Xuhe laughed when he heard it.
Cheng Qingxing naturally knew the meaning of his smile. He stood up and looked down at him: "You can't be in such a state, but I can't live like this forever."
"Feel sorry."
Zheng Xuhe knew that his smile just now was very impolite.
"There's nothing to be sorry about. It's normal for you to laugh." Cheng Qingxing spread his hands and said gently, "No one would believe that anyone could surpass your achievements."
At this moment, Cheng Qingxing was jealous of Zheng Xuhe.
He looked at the man opposite him, an emotion he had never shown in front of Zheng Xuhe.
"Zheng Xuhe, you know? I really envy you." Cheng Qingxing walked up to him and grabbed his hand.
"You don't have to do anything, and you can get the script I've envied for a long time."
Cheng Qingxing's tone and expression were a little crazy, which made Zheng Xuhe a little scared.
"Qingxing--" He tried to calm him down, but his hand was held tightly by Cheng Qingxing.
"Just because you are an Alpha and I am a Beta, I don't have the qualifications." Cheng Qingxing's grip was so strong that the back of Zheng Xuhe's hand turned red.
"If they knew I was an Omega, I would face countless Qin Shaojies." Cheng Qingxing said with a wry smile, "I debuted at the age of six, I was the nation's son, I was nominated for Best Supporting Actor at the age of twelve, I had my own resident children's program at the age of thirteen, and a hit youth drama at the age of fifteen."
"Before my gender split, my resources were never cut off, but what about after I split at age sixteen?"
Cheng Qingxing asked Zheng Xuhe back, his voice choked and his eyes filled with tears, he was unwilling to accept this.
"I don't dare to say that I am an Omega. I knew very well when I was sixteen that an Omega in the entertainment industry could never become an award-winning actor."
Zheng Xuhe tried to comfort him, but he didn't know how to calm Cheng Qingxing's emotions.
He hadn't said anything in the four years of marriage, and he thought Cheng Qingxing had let it go long ago.
"I've always considered myself a talented actor. I thought as long as I kept working hard, I could become you." Cheng Qingxing's eyes were sincere, but his tone was full of sadness.
In Cheng Qingxing's eyes, if he had undergone gender differentiation one year and become an Alpha, Zheng Xuhe would have no chance.
"Why don't you tell me? If you want, I can arrange the best resources for you..."
Zheng Xuhe spoke softer and softer, until he stopped talking altogether.
"I can't bow my head." Cheng Qingxing took a deep breath and laughed through his tears, "I always feel that I can make a comeback."
"When I'm with you, I always wonder how I'm worse than you." Cheng Qingxing picked up a tissue and started blowing his nose, "Why are you better than me?"
Cheng Qingxing seems to be carefree, but he is always gloomy and confused in his heart.
He couldn't accept that he was worse than Zheng Xuhe.
During the four years in college, although he always said that he and Zheng Xuhe were not familiar with each other, they were always comparing.
He tried hard to be a good student and performed in front of various teachers. He hoped that the teachers would push him in front of better directors.
But no matter how hard he tries, everyone thinks that Zheng Xuhe, as the Alpha, is more talented.
He couldn't compete, nor did he understand, so he always avoided Zheng Xuhe.
"I know I shouldn't hate you, nor should I be jealous of you, but I just can't accept you."
When Cheng Qingxing said this, tears began to flow uncontrollably.
"I shouldn't hate you. I should hate the principles of this world. Why are Omegas destined to be appendages of your Alphas?"
This time, Zheng Xuhe was completely silent. He just silently handed him the tissue.
Cheng Qingxing wiped her tears, and after saying this, she suddenly smiled with relief.
"When we were dating, you didn't like to talk, but you were always by my side." Cheng Qingxing lowered his head and began to recall their every moment. "But after we got married, your career went smoothly, and you were so busy that we barely saw each other for half a year."
Zheng Xuhe didn't know what to say, so he could only say softly, "I'm sorry."
"I know you thought I liked money, so after we got married, you spent four years walking a path that took others more than ten years." Cheng Qingxing looked at the tissue in front of him, "From a supporting role to a leading role, and then to the three-time Golden Horse Award winner, you only had four years. I couldn't even imagine it."
According to Cheng Qingxing's plan, it would take him twenty years to accomplish something that he could only accomplish when he was forty years old.
But it only took Zheng Xuhe four years, and during these four years, Zheng Xuhe had it so smooth that Cheng Qingxing's eyes turned red. He was almost going crazy with jealousy!
He could no longer live under the same roof with Zheng Xuhe, so he filed for a divorce.
Even though he knew that Zheng Xuhe loved him and wanted to give him a better life, he could not accept Zheng Xuhe's kindness.
Human jealousy is like a poisonous snake that can engulf people and suffocate them to death.
"Why didn't you tell me? We can solve all the problems." Zheng Xuhe's voice trembled. He grabbed Cheng Qingxing's hand and said, "There's still time."
"What's too late?" Cheng Qingxing shook off his hand. "We're divorced. If I didn't really have no other options, I really wouldn't come to this show and take advantage of your traffic!"
Cheng Qingxing stood up and pushed the tissue in front of him away. "Zheng Xuhe, I don't know if I love you, but I am sure that I am jealous of you and I hate you."
He paused slightly, raised his hands, and then looked into Zheng Xuhe's eyes with a dazed look and a low voice.
"Zheng Xuhe, let's stop here. I can walk the rest of the way by myself, and I can walk faster than you."
After saying that, he rubbed his eyes, turned around and left the room, muttering something softly.
"I know how to hate you better than I know how to love you."
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