Chapter 27
The most despairing thing is the abyss beneath your feet and the fragile branches in your hands crackling and breaking.
It is better to be shattered to pieces at the beginning, leaving no time to struggle, to beg or scream, or to reveal one's ugly side, than to ignite hope for an instant and then cruelly extinguish it.
When the male insect passed by, the corner of his clothes raised a slight breeze, which did not even disturb the butterfly, but it made the female soldier's pupils shrink and the blood in her body freeze instantly.
He wanted to stand up, to continue trying to persuade the male insect to change his mind, or to pierce his chest to force him to release pheromones, but he felt as if a thousand-pound weight was pressing on his back, and he couldn't even raise his head.
——The male insect’s coldness and cruelty will not change because of a few pleas. He can kill the male insect regardless of the consequences, but in the end, all his comrades may suffer.
"...Ahem...Noah..."
A faint, familiar voice penetrated the violent buzzing in her mind, but the female soldier did not react at all and just knelt there in a daze.
Until the comrade behind him wiped his eyes and pushed his back hard, "It's Alvin, he's awake!"
The female soldier lying on the hospital bed looked weak and pale, her chest rising and falling weakly, and no one could deny the fact that she was about to die.
But when his eyes opened a little, revealing the same gentle deep blue eyes as before, Chong felt that he would definitely get through it and continue to fight alongside them.
The female soldier held his hand hanging by his side, hardly daring to look him in the eye. Her cracked lips trembled for a long time before she said in a hoarse voice, "How do you feel now..."
Alvin did not answer him. He moved his eyes slightly and looked at the empty ward door. Although he was unconscious just now, he could vaguely feel what had happened.
He looked calm but could not hide his worry, fearing that his hot-tempered friend would get into trouble because of him and ruin his career and future.
"Noah...don't be impulsive..."
He tried to shake his friend's hand back, his voice hoarse and weak, "It's okay..."
It's just a death. It is a great honor to sacrifice one's life for the country. Every soldier who goes to the battlefield has this awareness and no one has ever deserted because of fear of death.
Although he did not die on the battlefield, he died in the ward of a field hospital with many comrades and close friends by his side, so he died without regrets.
*
Only when they had completely left the corridor and could no longer feel those emotional gazes did Elaine feel the male insect's body relax a little.
Still feel offended?
He forced a smile and suppressed his restless emotions.
He was ready to face the wrath of the male insects, but the female soldiers in the ward were innocent and he had to free them from this deception.
He originally planned to take it step by step, but he didn't expect Alvin to have a seizure at that time.
Moreover, after only a few hours of contact, Yael's calm and easy-going behavior gave him some unnecessary hope.
He mistakenly believed that there was a slight possibility that the male insect would be willing to give out some pheromones.
But reality dealt him a heavy blow... He really couldn't believe that male insects had any compassion.
In just a few seconds, Elaine adjusted her expression and her voice returned to its previous light tone.
"I'm really sorry, sir, they are all just fighting..."
"Where is the pheromone collection room?"
Elaine was stunned.
Yael turned around, but there was no disgust or anger on his face as Elaine had imagined.
Those eyes, with distinct black and white, were clear and calm, with a hint of confusion.
"Aren't all hospitals equipped with pheromone collection rooms?"
The current social situation is that there are more females than males, and the demand for pheromones is very high.
The law stipulates that male insects are obliged to donate pheromones regularly, and pheromone collection rooms are listed as an indispensable part of hospital construction planning.
Although it is rarely used.
"The female soldier's injuries are so severe that she can't be absorbed by simply releasing pheromones. I don't know the specific treatment method. It's better to let professional doctors use the pheromones and provide treatment."
Seeing that Elaine still had a dazed look on her face and couldn't react, he lowered his head slightly, revealing the restraint patch on the back of her neck.
"I'm sorry for what I did just now. I can't accurately control the amount of pheromones released. There are so many female soldiers in the ward..."
He tried to be polite.
But the fact is that pheromones not only have the function of filling the void in the female insect's body, but also inevitably have some aphrodisiac effects.
And even if he could try his best to remove the aphrodisiac components, the pheromone itself is extremely attractive to female insects.
Just like a clear spring in the desert, a thirsty traveler can hardly control his instinctive behavior. If he releases pheromones in front of so many military women, he will be torn to pieces.
“You…you mean…!”
Elaine finally turned around, his face showing a mixture of pretended lightness and shock and ecstasy, making his expression look a little distorted.
"Are you really willing to donate pheromones?! The Hughes guy really didn't lie to me...!"
He was so excited that he could hardly breathe, and muttered incoherently several times.
After he realized the male insect's hidden meaning, he bowed repeatedly to apologize.
"I'm so sorry for putting you in such a predicament...! Then can we go to the collection room now?"
Yael nodded and motioned for him to lead the way.
"Let's go."
…
The room, which had been tightly closed since its construction, welcomed its first real visitor.
Because no insects had visited the collection room for a long time, the doorplate inlaid on the door was rusted, and the door hinges were covered with a thick layer of dust. When pushed hard, it made a harsh noise, and Elaine felt a little embarrassed.
"I'm sorry, sir. There have been no insects here for many years, so I haven't cleaned it well. Please be patient for a moment..."
Elaine winked at the female insect behind her, and a figure rushed in instantly, turned on the air purification system to the maximum level, and quickly sucked away the floating dust inside.
There were several senior doctors who were called in temporarily standing at the door. When they saw the male insect go in and looked at Elaine's expression, they also squeezed in awkwardly.
The dust in the air could not be completely sucked out for a while, and Yael couldn't help coughing a few times. The doctors immediately looked at him nervously.
"I'm fine, go and start the machine. Time is running out, don't delay."
Yael spoke in a calm tone, but it reminded the doctors of how reserved they were when they were interns facing the strictest and most bossy instructors. They straightened their backs reflexively and said, "Okay, wait a moment!"
The pheromone collecting machine is a small and delicate one, protected by layers of protective shields, and looks quite new.
The doctors were facing a formidable enemy and gathered around the table as much as possible to ensure that they could deal with any emergency.
"Please give me your hand."
Elaine pulled out a long, thin catheter, removed the cap at the top, and revealed a silver collection head.
Yael sat on the sofa and subconsciously stretched out his left hand, but when Elaine was about to roll up his sleeves there, he reacted and retracted his hand.
"Sorry, use your right hand."
The silver collection end was attached to the inside of the wrist. When the machine was turned on, a faint blue light appeared and it extended to the left and right to become a bracelet that was tightly clasped.
"When I turn on the collection button, you just need to release the pheromones as usual. If you feel any discomfort during the process, please tell me immediately..."
Elaine kept talking, fearing that the male insect would find it troublesome and quit.
Yael hummed and closed his eyes slightly. As the machine started beeping, he thought of the female soldier lying on the hospital bed, covered in wounds and breathing weakly, and pursed his lips.
Being injured so badly, he must need a lot of pheromones.
He closed his eyes and manipulated his mental power to circulate in his body, pressing back and forth on the sleeping spot on the back of his neck. After it began to heat up, he forced his way in, bringing out a lingering scent of caramel.
The smells were guided by the bracelet, without leaking a single bit, and were all input into the memory through the pipes. The numbers on the tiny screen soared.
The machine was working diligently, with no signs of problems. The doctor on duty also relaxed a little and began to communicate with his eyes.
【How much do you think you can collect? 】
[It's hard to say. It depends on the level of the male insects. The level of male insects living on this planet should not be very high.]
[Maybe about 10 ml, which can save one or two female insects, but it is still a drop in the bucket for the military females in the most urgent situation, and the quality must be relatively high to be effective. ]
[What was the name of that military lady... Yes, Alvin, maybe it's just to extend his life for a while. Didn't you say before that there is a channel to purchase it from the main planet...]
【Focus! 】
Elaine raised her eyes and scanned the crowd. The doctors who had been absent from duty immediately turned their eyes away, lowered their heads, and looked at their noses and hearts.
“Ding Di——”
The collector issued a warning, and the next second, the ring on the male insect's wrist fell off naturally.
After the collection was completed, the male insect had not yet opened its eyes. Its face was a little paler than a few minutes ago, and its brows were slightly furrowed, as if it was feeling a little uncomfortable.
"Are you all right?"
Elaine leaned over and whispered, scanning the male's face back and forth, trying to determine his current condition.
Strangely, releasing pheromones is as easy for male insects as breathing, and it causes absolutely no harm to the body and has no side effects.
Yael pressed his fingertips between his brows, but before he could say anything, he was interrupted by a scream.
“What the hell!!”
The voice was so surprised that it swore directly, and it almost echoed in the empty room.
After a few rustling sounds, there was a series of exclamations.
“…Ah? Ah?! Am I dazzled?!”
"But how is that possible? The machine is broken?!"
Elaine turned around and looked at the doctors who were extremely excited. She sensed the unusual atmosphere and swallowed the words that were about to scold them. "…What's going on?"
手裏捧着收集瓶的醫生激動到無語倫次，一個箭步沖過來，小心翼翼地将收集瓶遞過來，“您您您看這個！！”
巨大的收集瓶被稀有材質嚴絲合縫地包裹着，只露出一方小屏幕顯示信息素的含量。
怎麽了？難道是太少了顯示不出含量來嗎……
“？！！！”
等看清楚上面的數字，伊萊恩驀然睜大了眼睛，因為太驚訝看起來居然有點滑稽。
等等、不是、那什麽、居然？！
他猛地擡起頭來，和面前的醫生面面相觑，好半晌才啞聲道，“……機器壞了？”
收集瓶上面的數字俨然是【5000ml】，不斷閃爍的紅光顯示含量已滿，需要換下一個收集瓶了。
但一個收集瓶一般采集過上百個雄蟲才勉強會滿，這就代表着——
這個雄蟲的等級比他們想象的高得多，而且也比他們想象中的，更無私慷慨。
“怎麽了……機器壞了？”
耶爾終于緩過了那陣眩暈，睜開眼睛看到僵住的幾蟲，且恰好聽到伊萊恩不可置信的低語，有些擔憂地道。
他雖然還剩有小半信息素沒有釋放完，但肯定沒有剛才那麽充足了。
而且如果機器壞了會很麻煩，恐怕會耽誤很多事。
聽到雄蟲的話，那幾個沉浸在震驚中的醫生才如夢初醒，齊齊轉過頭來，把耶爾吓了一跳。
他緩慢地眨了眨眼睛，“要……再抽一次嗎？”
“是不是還不夠？我應該還有一點，可以繼續抽取試試，昨天用了挺多安撫我的雌蟲，可能還沒恢複過來……”
他神情帶了一點無奈，微顫眼睫下的眸光清透潋滟，臉色有些蒼白，但——
在那幾個醫生眼裏，幾乎是散發着神聖的、天使般的光芒。
“不不不不！”
一個醫生神情敬仰，回過神後連聲道，“夠了夠了，非常非常感謝您！！”
伊萊恩怔怔地看着他，眼眶不知道什麽時候紅了，嘴唇哆嗦半晌，最終狠狠抿緊了。
他深深地彎下腰，向着眼前的雄蟲鞠了個躬，聲音嘶啞。
“……真的……非常感謝您。”
為阿爾文，為無數痛苦掙紮求生的軍雌，也為他自己。
耶爾靜了一瞬，側過身沒有受他的感謝，只道，“送過去吧，那個叫阿爾文的軍雌應該等不了太久。”
看着他們小心翼翼地将信息素護送出門，耶爾沉吟片刻，突然又道，“等等。”
*
病房內突然沖進來一隊醫生，将阿爾文緊急搬運到了手術室，周圍礙手礙腳的軍雌被脾氣很臭的主治醫生全部轟得遠遠的。
手術室門外的紅燈亮起，外面的雜音還是沒清除幹淨。
頭發花白的資深醫生皺了皺眉，指使一旁的亞雌護士，“叫外面那個別號喪了，阿爾文還有救！”
原本疲倦昏睡的軍雌被吵醒，有些艱難地睜開海藍色的雙眸，有些疑惑地看着眼前的大陣仗。
他勉強清了清嗓子，但聲音還是低沉嘶啞，難以聽清，“咳咳……怎麽……”
“別說話，保存體力。”
醫生訓練有素地做着術前準備，一邊冷聲命令道。
但看到他神情困惑，還是多解釋了一句，“別擔心，那個雄蟲捐獻了五千毫升的信息素，你有救了。”
阿爾文胸膛起伏了一瞬，神情怔然，半晌才喃喃低語道，“這樣啊……”
不過這一句有救說得還太早，他的情況他自己清楚，并不只是缺少信息素這麽簡單，是已經快到極限了。
艾塔爾這種邊緣星上的治療資源緊缺，不應該浪費在他身上。
無論如何，阿爾文都很感激那個慷慨的雄蟲，無數軍雌會因為這五千毫升而獲救，說是沙漠中峰回路轉出現的綠洲也不為過。
要是這次挺不過去，至少也要拜托醫生帶去一句感謝吧。
他喉結滾動，壓下喉間湧起的腥甜，“咳咳……嗬、如果……”
像是知道他要說什麽，醫生沒好氣地橫他一眼。
“你給我閉嘴，說有救就是有救了，你可別自己就放棄了。”
他将雙指夾着的一管針劑放到阿爾文面前，“睜大眼睛看看這是什麽？”
針筒中的液體鮮紅黏稠，在照射燈的光線中流轉着一線溫潤的血光。
倒映在那深邃的藍色眼眸中，像是照射在浩瀚海面的一抹微光。
像是……希望。
“這是雄蟲指名要給你的，他的血液。”
……
“你是說……”
諾亞怔怔地看着身前雙眼發亮的伊萊恩，巨大的荒謬感和不真實感湧上心頭，只因為剛才斬釘截鐵的一句話——
“那個雄蟲，自願捐獻了五千毫升的信息素，甚至還有血液給阿爾文。”
這個消息幾乎将全部軍雌都震住了，面面相觑片刻，仍然覺得很不真實。
“……真的嗎？”
伊萊恩是小跑過來的，還有些喘不過氣，在走廊裏來回走動。
“這麽大的事，我騙你們幹什麽？我好不容易安置好雄蟲，專門跑過來通知你們的！”
“就是！這麽大的事，怎麽可能是假的！！”
“天啊——感謝神明！感謝那個雄蟲！！”
很快他們就反應過來了，神情激動地小聲歡呼起來，亢奮到開始互相擊打對面蟲的胸膛，然後緊緊抱在了一起。
“上校有救了……諾亞你發什麽呆？！”
一個軍雌大力摟住諾亞的肩膀，用力晃了晃，才讓他堪堪回神，嘴唇蠕動片刻，喉嚨卻腫脹到什麽也說不出來。
他把臉埋在手心裏，深深地吸了口氣，渾身巨顫。
“我靠，你不會是哭了吧？！”
“我說你可要好好給雄蟲道歉，之前在病房裏被指着鼻子怒罵，雄蟲不削你都算仁慈了，誰知道居然捐了這麽多信息素，阿爾文能活下來可全靠那東西了！”
“雄蟲的血液淨價值幾千萬星幣吧，單憑我們根本沒有渠道弄到這玩意，雄蟲居然自願捐贈了……這次可要好好感謝他。”
……
這個震撼的消息迅速席卷了整個醫院。
醫生之間有特殊的聯系工具，而患者多半是一個軍隊出來的，互相之間熟稔得很，口耳相傳間版本都變了三四個。
“嘀嘀。”
光腦拼命閃爍，謝昭看了眼對面幾乎讓他心力交瘁的軍雌，說了聲抱歉後走到一邊。
西澤坐在對面的沙發上，神情平淡，聽到醫生離開的動靜後垂眸，屈指輕敲了敲輪椅把手。
這次的心理診療一如既往的不順利，對面這個年輕的心理醫生感覺都快被他氣死了。
也不是不能面對自己患上創傷後應激障礙，但究竟在顧忌什麽，就連他自己也不知道，
浸淫戰場多年的軍雌或多或少都有些心理問題。
身為其中的佼佼者，在軍銜仍在身上的日子裏，他被請去喝茶的次數只多不少。
但就算是帝國頂尖的心理專家，也拿他束手無策。
高超的語言誘導不行，藥物和特殊治療不行，就連上過的軍事法庭，被輪番用上那些摧毀精神的手段，不合眼地足足審訊了好幾個月，也從沒能将他的防禦擊垮。
西澤能清楚地感覺到，那扇門在經久的年月中已經和城牆融為一體，把手脫落、門軸鏽蝕，覆蓋着厚重的塵埃，就連他自己也打不開了。
打不開就打不開，這是他抵禦攻擊的盔甲，沒有縫隙才最完美。
他一直是這麽以為的，直到耶爾試圖治療他的創傷。
漂亮的小雄蟲蹙着眉，自以為看起來很兇的樣子，在他的防線上敲敲打打，試圖找到入口。
但就連憤怒都很克制，那所謂的“懲罰”和他聽過的事物脅迫以及恐吓相比，輕飄飄得像是一朵雲，或者蝸牛柔軟的觸角。
甚至于被随口哄了一句，他就心甘情願地坐在這裏，重複着已經經歷過無數遍的心理治療，數着時間等待結束後雄蟲過來接他回家。
……回家。
他咀嚼着這個對于他而言過于新奇的詞語，幾乎壓抑不住胸腔處傳來的鼓噪喧嚣，讓他無意識收緊了手指。
“卧槽？！真的假的？！”
角落裏的雌蟲醫生發出一聲驚呼，打斷了西澤的出神。
過後是一陣噼裏啪啦的敲字聲，足以表達其震驚的心情，期間伴随着無數聲卧槽和震撼的語氣詞，讓他眸光微動。
“發生了什麽？”
等他終于收拾好心情回來，西澤已經斂了笑意，眸光緊盯着眼前雌蟲所在的方位。
謝昭原本已經稍微平靜了下來，被這麽一問又瞬間激動起來。
“是你的雄主！！我跟你說……！”
他将聽到的和盤托出，感情豐富細節詳盡，其間還夾雜着亂入的驚嘆和贊美。
“真的！這個雄蟲也太好太神奇了吧！我的天啊……”
“凡是有點能力的雄蟲基本都傲慢得要死，個個眼高于頂，沒想到有生之年居然能遇見這樣的雄蟲！謝家的祖墳是不是突然冒青煙了啊啊啊！”
西澤安靜地聽完全程，好像也被謝昭的激動感染，唇角微微勾起，眸底的柔和笑意根本遮不住。
He was not at all surprised that Yael would do such a thing.
Somehow this feeling broke through his deep-rooted concept of male insects and became a new standard, a rule called "Yell".
But before he could chuckle for long, a thought spread like weeds and took over the high ground with unstoppable force -
The male insect is so gentle and tolerant to everyone.
He and the military girl were both able to survive thanks to this mercy and generosity. There was no difference at all.
There's nothing special about him.
This thought was like a creeping weed, entwining layer upon layer of my heart, squeezing that soft flesh and causing it to swell with blood and cause waves of pulling pain.
The smile in Xi Ze's eyes disappeared, and his expression was stunned.