Chapter 29
On the first day of vacation, the weather was rare and sunny.
The snow outside the balcony melted a little and was patiently cleaned up by 015. The potted plants hidden under the shed were moved to a sunny place and their branches and leaves were carefully stretched out.
The ruby vine is crystal clear, like a small work of art carved from red agate, reflecting the warm sunlight into a thousand flowing colors.
"Now? Can you see me?"
Yael bent down, leaned over to look at the female insect's expression, and waved his hand in front of him while asking.
The treatment had just entered the middle stage, so it shouldn't have taken effect so quickly. But when he woke up in the morning, Cize told him that he could already see a little light.
Xi Ze loosened his hand from his left eye and gently held the male insect's hand.
"I can only sense some light, but I haven't reached the stage of being able to see yet... but I think I'll be able to do it soon."
The left eye, which was less seriously injured, was blurry and hazy, but large blocks of color could be vaguely seen. The right eye could only faintly perceive a little halo and would need more time to recover.
"All right."
Yael couldn't help feeling a little disappointed, but after a moment of silence he couldn't help but pursed his lips and smiled.
"It's already good, take your time."
Xi Ze also chuckled, "Okay."
He used to be busy at work every day and taking the female worm to see the doctor on weekends. When he had some free time, Yael felt a little overwhelmed.
It felt quite boring to stay at home like this, but I had no desire to go out. After all, Etar was just a poor and backward little planet without many entertainment facilities.
"How about we go watch a movie?"
Yael suddenly had an idea and patted 015's smooth head.
"This weather is perfect for staying home and watching a movie, isn't it?"
He looked at Caesar and began to talk nonsense with a serious expression.
"There is a saying that if you want your wound to heal faster, you need to remind your body's healing cells where you got hurt. Watching more videos may stimulate your eyes and help them heal faster..."
The female insect looked somewhat helpless, and listened quietly to Yael's "distorted logic".
"My Lord, you can do whatever you want. Don't worry about me."
Besides, they have watched the news together many times, so watching movies is no different.
"It makes you feel more involved."
Yael always felt that reading the news and watching movies were very different.
The former allows you to listen to the sound throughout the whole process, while the latter involves leisure and entertainment. The picture is much more exciting than the sound, and it is still very uncomfortable to only be able to listen but not watch.
"What do you want to see? Hmm..."
He searched the homepage for a while, confused, and finally chose a video with a high rating.
The balcony curtains are drawn, and because of the diamond-shaped design, they don't block too much light.
The entire living room is shrouded in a faint shadow, the oversized screen projection is bright and clear, and the atmosphere is leisurely and comfortable.
Yael kicked off his slippers, tucked his feet onto the sofa, and began to chew a bowl of potato chips.
This is one of the few snacks that 015 can make, and it made him feel very close to it. It turns out that the love for fried food can connect different dimensions and civilizations.
“…”
The familiar sound effects of the movie opening rang out with a crackling sound, filling the empty and quiet living room.
Xi Ze adjusted his posture, leaning back on the sofa cushion, facing the screen.
He looked serious on his face, but actually... he was distracted.
It feels amazing.
In his busy first half of life, he never thought that there would be such a leisurely day.
There are the most complicated and trivial things to do during the New Year. Invitations to various parties will come like snowflakes, and coupled with the accumulated military affairs, there is almost no time to rest.
But what occupied her mind the most at this moment was not this sense of disharmony, but more the male insect sitting next to her, unconsciously leaning towards her.
The male insect exudes a light fragrance that is soft and warm, and its body temperature is transmitted through the places where the insects are touching, making its presence felt strongly.
Although her breathing was shallow and her occasional movements were light and casual, they were clearer and more perceptible than the sound effects and plot in the movie, making it impossible for him to focus on the movie.
"...I really can't stand the same as you guys here..."
A soft murmur interrupted his thoughts.
"What?" Xi Ze came back to his senses and asked subconsciously.
Yael stood up, not even eating his potato chips, and stared at the screen in front of him with a frown.
"I said, I really don't agree with the view of love in the movie."
What was the movie about?
Xize frowned and listened attentively, but the previous segment had already passed, and now only the protagonist's sobbing was left.
This touched upon an area that he was not very good at, and he was speechless for a moment, and could only offer comfort in a dry voice.
"Movies are all processed through art, and the director's subjective opinion is very strong... It's normal not to like it."
Yael had never discussed this topic with anyone before, and before traveling through time, he rarely participated in gossip among his classmates.
Frowning for a while, he turned to look at the female insect next to him, "What do you think?"
Thoughts, what thoughts? What was the movie just about? Oh yeah... the male insect talked about love.
Thinking back to the unspoken rules in the aristocratic circle, as well as the various vulgar and bottom-line-breaking ways of playing, Xi Ze's expression faded a little.
"There is no such thing as true love. It is essentially driven by interests. It is a product invented by those with vested interests to cover up their ugly nature, or to use this golden ticket of immunity to harm or take as a matter of course..."
He was halfway through his speech when he suddenly felt an unusual silence in the air.
Then I remembered that the person next to me was not one of those fat, good-for-nothing good-for-nothings with dirty faces, but a little male insect with a gentle temperament and a bit of strange innocence. He was not very worldly-wise and therefore was probably still full of fantasies.
...It's over.
Xi Ze suppressed the urge to cover his face and sigh, and held his breath consciously following the silence.
After a while, the male insect's hesitant and slow voice was heard, "...You are right."
Yael stared at the protagonists who were quarreling and then becoming sweet again, and was shocked by the indifferent and disgusted tone of the female insect next to his ear.
To ease the strange feeling of disconnection, he continued to eat potato chips in silence.
He continued to concentrate on the movie, but the female insect next to him began to feel uncomfortable and changed her sitting position several times. She wanted to say something but couldn't find the words to start, and her expression became more and more solemn.
After pondering for a while, Xi Ze spoke cautiously, "What does the Lord think? About... this, uh, love?"
"Me?"
Yael came back to his senses from the movie, thought for a moment, and slowly crushed a piece of potato chips in his mouth.
"I don't have any special ideas, but a healthy relationship is one that is respectful, understanding and committed to one's partner."
"The marriage custom of the insect tribe is one male and multiple females, which may not be suitable for me..."
Yael vaguely introduced himself, and then said, "Anyway, the one who can make me decide to like him should be a very good bug, and there should be only him, and there won't be multiple people."
He didn't know how deep the love had to be to make him decide to cross the bottom line he had always maintained.
Actively give up the human part of yourself, accept an "alien creature" wholeheartedly, and then completely integrate into this strange universe and world.
But if that day really comes, he thought... he would accept it calmly.
Yael's eyelashes trembled, then he chuckled and changed the subject.
"I was just asking casually. Don't be so nervous. If you feel bored, you can just close your eyes and rest. You don't have to force yourself to watch with me."
Xi Ze understood the meaning of his words, but he couldn't believe it, and his Adam's apple moved a few times.
But in the end, he didn't ask any more questions, and just said in a hoarse voice, "...I didn't force it."
They stopped talking. The dim morning light seeped in through the cracks in the curtains. The floating and sinking in the air flashed with warm and tiny lights, and then quietly settled down.
The movie's progress bar is already halfway through, and the inseparable protagonists are about to be separated by war. As they whisper love words to each other, long and sad light music begins to play.
"Want to eat?"
Something with a salty smell was pressed against his lower lip. Xi Ze came back to his senses immediately and bit it subconsciously, and the finger was retracted.
The male insect's movements were too casual, and he seemed unaware of the intimacy of the action.
Being personally fed by a male master is usually a privilege only afforded to female masters or very favored female servants. He has no chance of being one of them, but...
Caesar slowly crushed the potato chips in his mouth.
Who cares.
"Um……?"
Yael paused in his eating, looked at the scene of intestines flying in the movie with some disbelief, and swallowed the food in his mouth with some difficulty.
"How did they pass the review without warning for high-energy scenes?"
He turned down the volume, played it at double speed with some depression, and waited for this part to pass.
"They are just props for the photo shoot, don't be afraid."
Xi Ze looked calm, and although he was speaking words of comfort, his tone was so indifferent that it almost seemed cold.
"There is no time for them to cry and talk on the battlefield. A sweep of heavy weapons only takes five seconds, and all living things will be reduced to a pool of blood and mud."
Is this telling him not to be afraid? Why does it feel even scarier?
Yael said nothing and swallowed the potato chips in his mouth.
But then he remembered that there was a female soldier sitting next to him.
To him, these scenes in the movie were like a guy sitting in an ivory tower looking out and filming the most tragic scenes in his imagination.
But it is just a farce that has been infinitely beautified.
As Yael looked at the female's profile, he suddenly realized why he had chosen to reshape his mental picture alone that night.
It's not that Xi Ze didn't know what he valued, but he just didn't take it to heart.
Because he had been in such a state of not caring about injuries and not taking care of his body for too long, it had become a habit.
就像剛才雌蟲說的，戰場容不下任何的軟弱和退縮，就算渾身骨頭都斷了，只囫囵忍一晚上，第二天照樣豁出命來拼殺得頭破血流。
耶爾蹙了蹙眉，沒有對此評價什麽，只慢慢道。
“新聞上說帝國即來迎來長達百年的和平，也不知道是不是真的，戰争這種東西還是越少越好，最好不要再發生了。”
“是的，很快就是……和平年代了。”
西澤唇角微勾似乎在笑，欣慰又有些釋然的意味。
只是半晌後又扯平了嘴角。
“但死去的英靈并未安息，就代表着動蕩和變革永不會結束。”
他似乎意有所指，但很快就停下了話音，只是摸索到遙控器，将聲音調回去。
“這段已經過去了，雄主可以繼續看了。”
電影果然進入高潮部分，歷經艱險的兩個主角又開始甜甜蜜蜜，開始一同籌備盛大的婚禮。
場面看着溫馨又歡樂，将剛才的沉重氛圍一掃而空。
可能是開始犯困，咔嚓咔嚓的聲音逐漸慢下來，有一搭沒一搭的。
耶爾沒有骨頭似地滑溜下來，無意識地往舒服的地方拱了拱，沒有注意到自己已經快躺進雌蟲懷裏去了。
肩膀蹭上了毛絨絨的觸感，一片溫熱麻癢。
西澤身體頓時僵住，又怕雄蟲覺得不舒服而強行放松下來。
像是看見了什麽有趣的情節，雄蟲驀地輕笑起來。
他笑的時身體會微微震顫，柔軟的發尾也跟着亂動，在頸側裸露的皮膚上來回掃動，存在感極為鮮明。
西澤莫名想起很早之前的一件事。
和他關系不錯的第二軍上将是個毛絨控，每次聊天必定提起他家裏養的愛寵。
視頻裏顯示那是某種嬌小的、毛絨絨的，會發出奇妙夾子音的小星獸，看不出有什麽特別的地方。
“你個木頭根本不懂！”
那個高大粗犷的軍雌表情慈愛，抱着光腦上的視頻不撒手。
“我家咪咪簡直是個小天使，每次它在懷裏撒嬌，我就忍不住心軟消氣，甚至可以原諒議會那群冥頑不靈的老東西……！”
曾經西澤不懂那到底是什麽感覺，居然能讓脾氣出了名暴躁的軍雌露出那樣的表情，但現在……
他覺得自己稍微能理解了。
伸手抱住的話，又會是什麽感覺？
“？！”
側腰猝不及防被摸了一下，那一瞬間升起的酸癢讓耶爾劇烈抖了一下。
他一下從電影中回過神，擡頭看向西澤，困惑道，“怎麽了？”
“……沒事，抱歉。”
西澤低聲道，那只試探的手懸在半空，謹慎地停了一瞬後放回了沙發上。
簡直鬼迷心竅了一樣。
他本不該那樣輕率地對待眼前的雄蟲，但想到那只被深深抱在懷裏，咪咪叫着撒嬌的小星獸，手就忍不住自己動起來了。
“真的？”
耶爾巡視了那張一貫嚴肅的臉一番，沒發現什麽奇怪的端倪，遂放棄探尋雌蟲現在的想法。
被打斷後已經沒有剛才的沉浸感。
他轉頭看向電影裏西裝革履的俊美雌蟲，沉吟半晌道，“這個明星還挺帥的。”
但他又看了眼西澤的側臉，“不過沒有你好看。”
這并不是恭維。
西澤的容貌俊美深邃，蒼鷹般淩厲的雙眸明亮，山根高挺，唇瓣豐潤。
是非常嚴峻而出衆的一張臉，只是劍眉略略壓低，看起來有些兇悍。
猝不及防被誇獎，雌蟲臉上的嚴正消失不見，有些慌亂地低咳幾聲。
“……雄主也很好看。”
耶爾饒有趣味地挑了挑眉，卻道，“是嗎？你都沒有見過我真正的樣子呢。”
“确實沒見過，但……”
西澤有些語塞，他不知道怎麽形容那種感覺。
就像陽光溫暖、牛奶香濃、焦糖甜蜜微苦……
就算失明無法看見具體的色彩和形體，那種感覺也已經深深烙印在心底，一觸即知。
只是遠遠感知到，便心生隐秘的欣悅。
他本該滿足于此，但審視內心，卻不得不承認他想恢複視力的原因中，想看見這個雄蟲的欲望占據了相當一部分。
雌蟲還在糾結，耶爾卻忽然笑了笑，起身将懷裏的薯片盒子放下，抽出濕巾随意擦了手和臉。
最後坐回沙發上，側身面對着雌蟲。
“你可以摸摸我的臉，軍雌的空間立體想象能力應該都很不錯？提前做一下心理準備，以免恢複視力的時候失望。”
後面那句顯然是在開玩笑，西澤卻很不贊同地皺了眉。
“請您不要自輕……怎麽會失望。”
“是不是有蟲議論過您的長相？”
他忽然想到這種可能，臉上的表情愈發凝重。
“不要在意那種言論，雄主值得最高的贊美和尊敬，不要為那種……主觀性極強的話自傷。”
耶爾有時覺得他像一個古板的封建大家長，無時無刻不充滿嚴肅感和奇怪的保護欲。
對待他像對待什麽不經世事的幼崽，既怕他惡劣頑皮，又怕他沒有得到最好的對待。
“好啦好啦，沒有發生過那種事……你還要不要摸？”
前半句的時候西澤的神情微松，聽到後半句時又顯而易見變得緊張。
那種帶着點矜持和內斂的軍雌氣質，和“想要”的欲望在他臉上不斷交替，看得耶爾很想笑，好整以暇地等待他的回答。
“……要。”西澤最終低聲道。
空氣陡然安靜下來。
電影裏的主角似乎在說話，但已經徹底淪為了背景音。
西澤能察覺到雄蟲又調整了一下姿勢，将身體湊了過來。
他們之間的距離瞬間被拉近，溫熱的鼻息似乎近在咫尺。
他緊張地握了握拳，下意識收緊了手指後又強行放松，最終向着雄蟲的位置摸索着伸出手。
“……”
借着模糊的光暈，耶爾看見了那只向他伸過來的手。
西澤的神情變得鄭重而專注，謹慎到從左手換到了右手，又在半空中無所适從地換了好幾個姿勢，才以屈起食指的方式緩緩靠近他的臉。
這個距離下，那只手上的紋路幾乎纖毫畢現，沿着堅硬又分明的骨節往下，可以看見深刻清晰的掌紋，橫貫整個手心。
那是比較信命的長輩見了，會愁眉苦臉一直念叨的斷紋，命途坎坷的象征。
仿佛一根深深的紋路，就決定了這一生是幸福美滿還是颠沛流離。
但比掌紋更深刻且繁多的，是上面層層疊疊的舊傷。
有刀傷也有槍傷，指腹和虎口處布滿粗糙的繭子和硬痂，那是漫長的戰争歲月在他身上留下的痕跡。
……也是他無法企及的生命厚度。
耶爾眼睫微顫，下意識屏住了呼吸。
快要碰到臉頰的指尖卻驀地一頓，又縮了回去——
“算了，我手上有很多繭子，會刮痛您的……還是等恢複了視力再親眼看吧。”
西澤聲音低而沙啞，幾乎小心翼翼地道。
耶爾輕啧了一聲，直接抓過那只手。
雌蟲的手比他的手大了一圈，上面的繭子和傷痕粗糙，整只手卻意外柔軟、幹燥而溫暖。
是會很容易聯想起母親的一雙手，飽經風霜但充滿着生命與愛的力量。
更何況這雙手上累累的傷來自于保衛家國，握過武器、流淌熱血，沉澱着厚重而值得尊敬的榮耀與價值，和嫌棄沾不上邊。
“快摸！”
他直接把那只手按在臉上，假裝兇狠悶聲道。
“過了這村就沒這店了，勸你不要瞻前顧後，想摸就趕緊摸個夠……”
潮熱的呼吸掠過指縫，泛起一陣細密的癢，不斷開合的、柔軟的唇瓣貼在手心處，讓西澤瞬間僵住。
那裏觸感太好，他情不自禁收緊手指捏了捏，把雄蟲鼓起的臉頰捏得“噗”一下響，一時間更加無措。
但……他已經得到了最大限度的允許。
這個認知讓西澤眼睫一顫。
他喉結滾動，咽下過速的心跳，指尖很輕地開始描摹那眉眼的輪廓、顫動的眼睫，然後是臉頰和緩的起伏，和溫軟濕潤的唇瓣……
每一寸血肉都是令他驚嘆的細膩柔軟，像是名貴到需要重重保護的珍品，讓他忍不住把動作繼續放輕。
但雄蟲并不是溫室中嬌嫩的玫瑰。
西澤屏息感受着那呼吸，仿若聽到微風越過淺青山巒與廣袤原野，吹動滿山松濤烈烈。
這無關具體長相，也無關漂亮與否，這很……
不善言辭的軍雌一時失語，搜腸刮肚也找不出合适的形容詞，來形容那細微而奇妙的震撼與觸動。
“摸好了嗎，感覺怎麽樣？”
耶爾被他摸得很癢，忍了很久還是出聲詢問道。
“……很難形容……”
他張了張嘴，躊躇半晌後低聲道，卻遲遲接不上下面的話，憋得表情無比凝重。
“什麽？”
耶爾微微蹙眉，有些疑惑地睜開眼看着雌蟲。
“很……很可愛。”
最終，西澤低聲道。
“？”耶爾一腦袋問號，并不覺得自己和這個詞有什麽沾邊的地方。
但看了看雌蟲為難的神色，還是決定不和不解風情的軍雌計較。
Anyway, at least he knew what he looked like in advance, so the purpose had been achieved.
Yael took a deep breath, pulled the female insect's hand down, and leaned back on the sofa. "Okay, let's continue watching the movie."
"……good."
Xi Ze was still a little dazed. He felt as if something had just slipped away silently in front of his eyes, but he had no way to catch it or pursue it. He could only purse his lips in disappointment and regret.
The male insect did not come over again.
But he hoped that the movie could be longer and not end so quickly, or that the male insect would be more interested and watch two movies in a row.
It's okay to spend the whole morning here, just lazing on the sofa, sitting next to him, talking, eating, or just being lazy.
if only……
“Beep beep.”
A clear message alert sound came from the optical computer, and a red light flickered slightly.