Chapter 37
I read the data projected on the computer several times to make sure I had mastered it completely.
Yael turned off the computer and threw it aside, then patted the sofa beside him.
"Come here."
Nishizawa, who was tending to plants on the balcony, felt his back stiffen.
He put the things in his hand aside, but did not sit on the sofa as he was told. Instead, he half-knelt in front of the male insect.
The ground was covered with a thick, snow-white carpet, which was soft and dense, enough to cover the male insect's white feet and support the wound on its knees.
"Come to the sofa?"
Yael rubbed his head which was resting on his knees, "Your legs are not healed yet."
Xi Ze did not agree, but just stared at him with his golden eyes, and said in a somewhat harsh voice, "...it will get dirty."
During this period, the male insect was keen on practicing various methods of spiritual counseling. He was often pressed on the sofa or carpet to be counseled from the inside out, and he rolled from the sofa to the carpet many times.
The sofa doesn't have a self-cleaning function, but the carpet does, and everything ends up on the carpet anyway...
It is better to do it on the ground from the beginning, and this face-to-face position is the most suitable after trial and error.
"What does it matter? Just ask 015 to take it down and wash it."
"Hero Lord."
Caesar called him, but nothing more happened. He tentatively reached out his hand to touch his calf, hooking his little finger around the end of his trouser leg.
After spending some time with him, Yael got to know his temper a little bit.
It's like what I'm doing now, which means I'm sticking to my choice. I call him occasionally without saying anything, as if I'm being coquettish in a very subtle way, hoping to get a soothing touch.
Yael narrowed his eyes and rarely refrained from responding.
Caesar waited for a while, then realized that he was not being comforted, so he stopped looking at him and instead lowered his eyes to study the patterns on the carpet.
Yael took out a hair tie from his pocket, curled his lips and stopped teasing him, "Okay, come closer."
"Isn't your hair a little long? It's always covering your eyes."
He spread the hair tie with three fingers, and with his other hand touched Caesar's head, combed it briefly with his fingers a few times, and finally gathered it into a bunch and tied it into a low ponytail that was just the right amount of tightness.
"Ha." He fiddled with the little bun with his fingertips and chuckled, with the last syllable rising.
"Look, a little tail."
Invisible threads of mental power gathered in the air, and began to change shape according to the male insect's thoughts, entwining around the slender fingertips and beginning to play with the small tuft of hair affectionately.
Pinch the roots with your fingers, roll the smooth hair in circles in your hands, and slowly smooth it from beginning to end.
“……!”
Caesar's body trembled suddenly, and he raised his hand reflexively, but stopped before subconsciously pressing the wrist. As a retreat, he pressed the male's thigh, and flexed his fingers to tighten the piece of cloth.
Yael lowered his eyelashes and chuckled.
The warm spiritual power was like a sprouting bamboo shoot, growing and blooming in the flesh and blood.
The feeling of being invaded by a completely different mental force is strong and clear, and I can't get used to it no matter how many times it happens.
It was like having one's skin cut open inch by inch, revealing the bright red flesh and clear meridians inside, revealing one's liver, gallbladder, and lungs, and looking inside to see how the heart is beating vigorously.
Or even worse than that, being caught with something shameful, humiliating, extremely private and vulnerable.
The male insect originally had a mild character, but I don't know if it was corrupted by the "hanging out" during this period, or if its true nature was revealed, and it became more vicious.
It's harmless, but it's a bit difficult for female insects.
"Since you have a tail, you should be able to make a sound, right? Why don't you make a sound and let me hear it?"
Having never heard of such coquettish coercion, Xi Ze couldn't even get angry. In the end, he could only swallow the "bad consequences" of his own unlimited indulgence.
"no……"
He shook his head with red eyes and refused, his voice seemed to be stuck in his throat, "No tail..."
"Why not? Then what is this?"
It was clearly just the end of her hair, but it seemed as if a real little tail had grown out of it, sensitive, delicate, soft and fragile, and it trembled timidly when being bullied by those nimble fingers.
"... Um, Lord! Don't... be like this."
When being touched, an unbearable itching spreads from the top of the head all the way to the toes, as if it were drilling out from the cracks in the bones and invading deep into the body like crazy.
"This tail is not up to standard—"
Yael felt the hot breath sprayed on the side of his legs and reached out to press the female insect's shoulders.
At the same time, he inserted the fingers of his other hand under the hair tie, rubbing the most sensitive roots in circles, bouncing up and down rhythmically, causing the tails of the female insect's eyes to turn slightly red.
The male insect laughed softly, lowered his eyes and whispered to Caesar, "You need my help to shake, you are so stupid."
“…”
Really, crazy.
Xi Ze rested his forehead on the male insect's leg, his mind was blank, his chest rose and fell deeply, relieving the suffocation caused by the surge of blood.
His heart was pounding like a drum and his back was soaked with sweat, as if he had completed an intense training session, but it was different.
After a fight, at most you would feel tired, not half of your body paralyzed like this. All the muscles in your body seemed to have been soaked in honey, filled with sweet juice, and you couldn't use any strength at all.
Along with the unfamiliar feeling, there is also an irrepressible panic.
Because...spiritual counseling hasn't even really started.
Caesar closed his eyes, reached out and grasped Yael's wrist. His hand was still shaking, but he pulled the hand down half forcefully and half gently.
After finally breaking free, the female insect's body swayed and she could no longer maintain the half-kneeling position. She managed to hold on to the ground and not fall.
His voice was a little hoarse, "Let's start... Stop playing."
Yael's hand stopped in mid-air, and he didn't seem unhappy about being interrupted. He just glanced at Caesar thoughtfully.
The female insect probably doesn't know what his expression is like now.
His forehead and nose were covered with a layer of fine, crystal-like beads of sweat, and his originally cold eyes were now wet, like the setting sun reflected in the shimmering water.
The skin from the ears to the neck was lightly red, his lips were slightly parted and he was breathing rapidly, his expression was filled with extreme shame and embarrassment.
So sensitive?
The reaction during the estrus period before didn’t seem to be so intense?
Yael thought about what he had just done, and it seemed like he had done nothing...
In a flash, an idea flashed through my mind.
Was it because of what he just said? Was he so shameless?
He seemed to have discovered a new continent. A faint light flashed in his dark eyes. His mental power excitedly lingered between his fingers. Before the female insect could fully recover, he whispered, "Come here."
Xi Ze's back stiffened and he raised his head to look at him. Even his eyelashes were stained with water, and his eyes were full of forbearance and restraint.
"My Lord... can you guide me as before?"
I don’t know what kind of spiritual counseling method Yael has learned, but it is obvious that he is not well-intentioned.
The female insect was already overwhelmed by his crude previous technique, let alone the upgraded version that he was now using skillfully.
Yael smiled with his eyes slightly narrowed, his peach blossom eyes curved in a soft and beautiful arc.
"But Dr. Xie's advice is to do more spiritual counseling, and to give more caressing and encouragement. I think it's better to follow the doctor's instructions."
Thanks, Zhao!
This was the first time that Xi Ze remembered the name of a young member of the Xie family so clearly.
But he realized that the root cause did not lie with this female insect. At most, she just passed the fuse to the male insect in front of her.
And then—bang!
out of control.
If before Yael had been implementing a completely laissez-faire policy except for healing, now it was a policy of intermittent pampering that was rough yet sophisticated.
When he was sitting on the sofa, as soon as Yael saw him, he would go up to him, release his mental power to touch his body, and then rub him until he rolled over and fell limply on the sofa.
Even the male insect himself may not be aware that he has an extremely strong side in his character and is unusually stubborn about the things he believes in.
Usually they quietly hide under their gentle and humble shells, not making other insects feel uncomfortable, but when this character surfaces, almost no insect dares to disobey.
Like an emperor who wields a soft whip but is also arbitrary and authoritarian.
Yael tried to reason with him, "This is different from last time, and the effect will be better."
"I have looked up information. Rebuilding a spiritual landscape is very risky. Even if it succeeds, you cannot relax. Subsequent treatment and recovery are particularly important. It requires more guidance than the original landscape to wash away the dirt that has accumulated deep inside..."
He seemed to be trying to persuade a dirty puppy to take a bath and was annoyed by its reluctance to cooperate.
"Why are you resisting? You're obviously feeling comfortable too."
The male insect's features softened as he lowered his head to look at Caesar's face. He no longer had the domineering look that had made him tremble just now.
As soon as he started talking, the female insect forced herself to remain calm, lowered her head slightly, pressed her thin light lips into a straight line, and the veins on her forearms that were pressing on the sofa were exposed.
He is tall and slender, with broad shoulders, a thin waist and abdomen, and beautiful and tight muscles that are clearly visible. Even when he is half-kneeling, he looks like a wild beast that will suddenly pounce at any time, and is extremely dangerous.
However, he was helpless against the snow-white cat in front of him who was showing evil intentions. He restrained his strength and gently pushed her away. He was forced to retreat step by step and was only a step away from compromise.
Yael obviously knew this.
He moved his body, slid down from the sofa, sat cross-legged on the carpet, moved close to the female insect's face, and looked up at him from below.
"Is it okay——"
The male insect's crow-feather eyelashes trembled, and it curved its eyebrows at him, as if a god had dipped a large amount of ink in the paint and smudged the snow-white rice paper with fine brushwork of varying shades, which was stunningly beautiful.
Xi Ze looked at him in a daze.
Yael's voice was gentle, as if he was coaxing a disobedient cub, "Let's continue, okay?"
Xize's Adam's apple trembled, and he opened his mouth for a long time before hearing his own dry voice.
"……good."
He could never refuse him.
…
他很早就注意到，雄蟲有一雙很漂亮的手。
像是精心溫養的白玉，從淺粉色的指甲到白皙修長的手指，再到軟熱熨貼的掌心，每一絲弧度都完美到像是藝術品。
和他們這種常年摸爬滾打，手上全是粗繭的軍雌不同，一點點磕碰都很明顯，上次被撓破皮的手背腫了一周才好。
但就是這雙手，輕易扼住了咽喉和命脈，伸入腹腔攪弄着柔軟的內髒，像是燒燙的刀刃沒入黃油，輕易切割着內裏軟厚的脂，滋滋作響。
他眼睜睜看着自己被殘忍地剖腸破肚，感到了瀕死時的陣陣窒息，視野甚至出現了斑駁的重影……直至最終迸濺出溫熱的血液。
一片狼藉，難堪至極。
“……”
西澤半睜着眼眸，恍惚地看着雪白的天花板，神情像是痛苦又像是其他。
真是活該……
他想。
下次一定不能再被雄蟲騙到了。
西澤将流進眼睛的汗水眨去，無意識地将臉側到了左邊。
在一片模糊的視野裏，他看見了那條通往房間的走廊。
又因為視角問題，形成了一片小三角形的盲區，陰影裏好像躲着一個身影……
那個身影有着一張強自按捺驚恐的蒼白小臉，還有止不住顫抖的身體。
他緩慢地眨了眨眼，後知後覺地意識到什麽。
小的時候，他就曾經驚恐地躲藏在那裏，看着雌父被雄父踩在腳下折磨，鮮血将地毯染濕了一片。
當時雌父就是向這邊側過臉，神情蒼白麻木，眼睛裏空無一物，他便以為自己沒被看到，原來那片陰影并不足以躲藏起一個幼崽。
以後也會輪到他的幼崽，躲在那裏驚恐無措地看着這一切嗎？
“嗯啊……赫……”
這個想法像是一把尖刀，猛得紮入他的腦海中，将清醒的意識攪成千萬塊碎片。
西澤瞳孔驟縮。
腰腹像是瀕死的魚一樣彈起，痙攣着掙紮起來，力度大到甚至要将耶爾掀下去。
終年陰沉潮濕的房間，鞭子上尖銳的倒刺，看不到盡頭的旋轉樓梯，後花園腥臭的泥土……
血色斑駁的剪影和淩亂的碎塊在眼前瘋狂閃現，将精神圖景深處掀起飓風，瞬間就逼紅了雌蟲的眼睛。
耳邊似乎傳來巨大的聲響，像是重物落地，噼裏啪啦碎了個徹底。
像是多年前從頭頂澆下來的酒液，和下一秒酒瓶砸在眉骨上時清脆的破裂聲。
“&T%……西哔——刺啦刺啦棄……砰！”
他記得那個大廳的頂燈很亮，但可能酒液腐蝕了視網膜，眼前的陰翳越來越深，即将撕碎所有光亮。
精神力撕扯到極致之際，一片溫熱覆在他的眉眼上。
——耳邊尖銳嘈雜的聲音戛然而止。
世界陷入停滞，像是瞬間升起了一層防禦屏障，堅定不移地将他保護在內。
凜冽的精神力找準空白的間隙強勢侵入，将那些翻湧而起的沉疴一掃而空。
冰涼的細雪從天空中降落，無聲浸潤進茫茫的荒漠中，悄然孕育着新生的綠意。
“……”
耶爾感覺到手心裏的顫栗慢慢平息，指縫間潮熱的液體也停止了溢出，才終于松了一口氣，後知後覺地察覺到額頭的刺痛。
他伸手摸了摸，淺淡的血跡在指腹暈開，傷口不深，應該只是破皮了。
剛才的事發生得太快，他還沒反應過來就被掀了下去，差點磕在茶幾的尖角上，剛站起來又被掙紮的雌蟲撞了個趔趄。
茶幾被徹底撞翻，把趕過來的015吓得滋出火花。
之前的精神疏導都沒見雌蟲有這麽大反應，看來這次的方法才是真的奏效了。
耶爾餘光瞥見那個不知道被掀翻了多少次的茶幾，輕啧了一聲。
……下次疏導一定記得把它拿開。
“我放開手了？”
耶爾又等了一會，動了動那只覆在西澤眼睛上的手，低聲詢問道。
雌蟲的呼吸急促了一瞬，蒼白的唇抿緊後又強制放松下來，微不可聞地點了點頭。
他放下手，果不其然見到一雙濕紅的眼睛，睫毛被生理淚水粘連成小簇，淺金色的眸光像被水洗過似的，深邃而幹淨。
西澤目光閃爍了一下，沒有擡頭和雄蟲對視，但微一偏頭後就看到一地狼藉，身體頓時一僵。
“抱歉。”
他聲音沙啞，還帶着一點濕潤的鼻音，聽起來是難得的脆弱。
“抱歉，我不想這樣的……”
他不想掃興的，更不願意露出那種狼狽的樣子來。
可身體和潛意識卻根本不受控制，突破壓抑的理智瞬間淹沒口鼻，甚至差點引發精神力暴動。
身體失控的感覺難以抑制地滋生恐慌，西澤緊攥住還在細微顫抖的手，閉了閉眼。
“……我現在去收拾幹淨。”
耶爾觀察了一會他的神色，确定沒什麽問題後伸出手，想讓雌蟲拉着他的手起來，“沒關系的，讓015收拾就好了。”
西澤用力閉了閉眼，小心地握住那只手，擡眼正要說什麽，視線卻猛然凝固。
雄蟲額前的碎發有些淩亂，露出了一小片白皙的皮膚，上面赫然橫着一道紅腫的傷口，流下的血凝固在眉梢，無比刺眼。
他像被毒蠍的尾針猛得紮了一下，毒液注入心髒，帶來尖銳的痛意。
“我剛才傷到你了？”
西澤神色陰沉，從015的機械臂中掙脫，撐着手肘迅速起身，按住耶爾的肩膀。
雌蟲大概不知道自己的表情有多可怕，還未徹底脫離的精神力末端傳來不加掩飾的擔憂和自責，狀态從餍足疲憊變得剛硬尖銳。
耶爾靜了一瞬，“沒關系，等會我……”
“別動，讓我看看。”西澤不自覺厲聲道，帶着不容置喙的強勢和威嚴。
跟訓兵似的。耶爾心想，但還是沒動讓他查看傷口。
雌蟲伸手捏住他的下颌，将臉往上擡露出傷口來，帶着繭子的粗糙指腹摩挲過柔軟眼尾，在傷口周圍輕按了幾下。
……還好，只是破了層皮，而且已經停止流血了。
耶爾眼睫微顫，發出一聲低低的鼻音，感覺到按壓的力度再次放輕。
“有多疼？”
西澤眉心皺緊，伸手把雄蟲額前的頭發都往後捋，再度湊近傷口觀察情況，沒有意識到他們之間的距離近到呼吸都交融在了一起。
“去醫院看看，這裏沒有專門的醫療設備。”
雖然看起來只是個小傷口，但是位置在頭部，難免沒有牽扯到神經或者別的敏感地方，不能掉以輕心。
再不制止，雌蟲就要把他夾在手裏帶去醫院了。
耶爾握住西澤的手腕，稍稍用力拉開，低咳一聲道，“真的沒關系，上藥包紮一下就好了。”
西澤仍然一臉不贊同，但拗不過耶爾堅持，最終還是去拿了紗布和藥。
凝固的血跡被細致地擦去，濕潤柔軟的棉絮沾了藥液，輕輕地點在傷口附近，直到完全吸收了才覆上一層幹淨紗布，好好地裹住了那裏。
耶爾躺在雌蟲的大腿上，在上藥過程中眼皮打架，舒服到幾乎昏昏欲睡。
他覺得自己這待遇不像破了層皮，像是磕成了腦震蕩。
“……”
懷裏的雄蟲完全閉上了眼睛。
精神疏導會讓疏導者和被疏導者都感到疲憊，所以一般和那什麽運動一起進行，弄完就可以順勢睡覺恢複精力。
西澤将藥都撥到一邊，扯過一旁的薄被蓋在雄蟲身上。
做完這些後他靠在沙發背上，在一片安靜中，突然想起剛才疏導過程中浮泛而起的回憶。
剛才的變故讓他完全忘記了那些惡心事，現在回想起來，也已經淡去了鮮明的共情，變成沉澱下去的無味渣滓。
但他也借此認清了一直埋藏在深處的憂慮。
他害怕終有一天會步上雌父的老路，丢棄了手裏的武器，将自由和生命獻祭給一個惡毒的雄蟲，囿于那方爛泥蹉跎一生。
一步步扭曲了原則和底線，甚至舉起屠刀向更弱小的幼崽，而不是忍痛剖去腐爛發臭的血肉。
雌父下不了手，但沒關系——
西澤無聲彎了彎唇，想起那片鮮豔奪目的血色，一時間連痛恨的心情都淡了下去，只餘下綿延至今的快意。
但耶爾顯然是不同的。
小雄蟲漂亮柔軟的面容，和記憶中那個嚴苛又傲慢的中年雄蟲大相徑庭，不僅僅是年齡相貌的差別，更在于從眼睛裏看到的源自靈魂的巨大差異。
他不是待宰的羔羊，眼前的雄蟲也不會變成屠夫。
這是精神力交融，徹底敞開自己時，耶爾身體力行告訴他的事實。
狠毒和惡意無法中傷他，庸碌和平淡也不足以打動他，唯有像星星一樣閃閃發光，才能成為燃燒的焰火，燒穿那個漆黑又冰冷的雪夜。
西澤指尖碰了碰雄蟲額角柔軟的紗布，眸底的料峭寒意消融。
他輕輕梳着耶爾柔軟的頭發，等懷裏的呼吸逐漸綿長後，很輕地托住雄蟲的頭放在了枕頭上，起身去廚房做午飯。
而等雌蟲離開不久，看似已經熟睡的耶爾睜開眼，眸底一片清明。
“滴滴。”
He picked up the laptop that had rolled to the ground and opened it to check the new messages he had received.
【Dr. Xie: How is it? Is that method effective? [Rose][Rose]】
Thinking of the effect of the spiritual counseling just now, he moved his fingers and sent a "hmm".
【Doctor Xie: That’s good. Mental counseling is the most effective way to treat female insect psychological problems. Just do it a few more times and there will be basically no problem [smiley face]】
【Doctor Xie: By the way, today was so smooth, did you find some opportunity? Military wives are all very stubborn, they won’t easily reveal the depths of their spiritual landscape.】
Yael raised his eyes thoughtfully, looking at the back of the female insect looming in the kitchen.
【wwn: I guess so. 】
!