Chapter 58 (Lantern Festival Special!)

"Welcome back......!"

The corners of Yael's lips curled up, but before the last word of the smile fell, he was suddenly pulled into a cold, hard, and hot embrace. He subconsciously widened his eyes slightly.

He was pushed down on the sofa.

Caesar knelt on one knee on the sofa, with the other leg propped on the ground, holding him tightly between his arms and the sofa, as if afraid that he would run away.

Yael struggled, only to be embraced more tightly, and groaned as he was strangled.

Sensing that the atmosphere was not right, the insects in the room quietly retreated, and soon the sound of the door closing was heard, leaving only the female insect's chaotic and rapid breathing in the room.

The hard military uniform hurt Yael a little, and the buttons on his cheeks were cold, but the female insect's scalding body temperature and stalling heartbeat were transmitted through the fabric, quietly soothing the discomfort.

The arms behind him were tightly held, making it almost impossible for him to move. However, he felt the hand on his back trembling slightly, so he did not struggle but reached out to hug the female insect's waist.

"What's wrong?"

Yael was covered tightly and endured for a long time, but he couldn't hold back his anger and said in a muffled voice.

The female insect's breathing beside my ear was still rapid, but it was not the chaotic and heavy breathing that came after a high-intensity task. Instead, it was so light that it was almost breathless, but the panic in it could not be suppressed at all.

Is...what happened?

Caesar was suddenly awakened by the voice and relaxed his hold on the male insect, but still did not get up from Yael. Instead, he leaned down even lower and buried his face deeply in his neck.

Like a puppy eager to check on its owner's breath, it pounced over with all its strength, sniffed back and forth with its wet nose, rubbed against the neck and face, and licked affectionately with its tongue.

The female insect's knees were against his waist, and her two crossed calves were pressed tightly together, as if she was being tightly entangled by a puppy's soft tail, trying to tie up her owner and not let him leave again.

"What's wrong? Why are you holding me so tightly?"

As if infected by the enthusiasm, Yael chuckled intermittently.

The joy that had been suppressed for so long was fermenting deep in my chest, bubbling up, and my body temperature also rose a little.

"...Hero Lord?"

A hoarse voice rang against his ear, bringing a tingling sensation to his scalp. Yael reached out and put his hands on the female insect's shoulders, raised his face and rubbed it against her cold cheek.

"I'm here."

"Hero Lord."

"Yes, I am here. You hold me so tight."

He reached out and patted the female insect's lower back, lifted the hem of his military jacket, stuck his hand in by the buckled belt, and his palm fit tightly against the hot skin.

The female insect shuddered, then slowly relaxed her body, no longer being so tense.

But after being comforted for a short while, he began to whisper anxiously, "Yell?"

How to appease him now?

Yael thought about it for a moment, but he was not too troubled because there were countless ways to be intimate, and he could practice them all with the female insect.

"Then... give me a kiss."

He pushed the female insect away with force, stood up with his elbows on the sofa, looked into her eyes for a moment, closed his eyes almost at the same time, and approached her eagerly.

But before I could feel the soft touch on my lips, a crisp sound suddenly rang out -

"Hmm?!"

A sudden pain that was enough to bring out tears came over him, causing Yael to groan. He covered his mouth with his hand and looked at Xi Ze with wide eyes, who was also bewildered.

It seems like... I hit my teeth.

Before he could say anything, the female insect leaned over and kissed him again, but she didn't go deeper. She just rubbed his lips gently, sucked and pecked them, soothing the sore area.

This kind of kiss does not contain much passion, but it is very comfortable and relaxing. At the end of the kiss you will unconsciously make a little nasal sound. It doesn't matter if you kiss for a long time.

But no matter how patient he was, he couldn't kiss for too long. After more than ten minutes, Yael pulled himself out of the female insect's arms. His cheeks were red and his breathing was disorderly from being kissed. He covered his mouth and raised the white flag.

"My mouth is numb..."

He mumbled, but his eyes unconsciously stayed on the female insect's lips.

The lip lines that used to appear hard and cold due to being pressed down softened and became bright red and moist during the sucking.

Cise was wearing the same military uniform as in the press conference, but his military cap fell off while he was rolling. His hair was hanging down in disorder in front of his forehead, but it couldn't cover his red ears. Coupled with his dazed look after the kiss, he looked particularly sullen.

Several buttons that were not even fastened to the top were undone, revealing the snow-white shirt underneath. She should have looked serious and cold, but because of a kiss, she became soft and gentle.

I really can't help it... I want to continue bullying him.

But before that, there are other things to discuss first. If I continue, I might be able to bully the female insect until she cries.

"Should I call you Cesar or Hirsch?"

Yael stood up, pressed the female insect under him, and reached out to help him straighten his collar. He narrowed his eyes and asked mercilessly, "Or... Admiral Monte?"

The female insect's pupils shrank slightly, and the confusion in her eyes disappeared instantly. After she suddenly woke up, the blood color on her face disappeared completely, and she actually looked a little pitiful.

"My Lord, I..."

His voice was tense and he looked eager to explain, but his mouth was covered.

"No talking."

Yael secretly warned himself not to be soft-hearted, then his face and voice turned cold, and he began to go over the past with him.

"You promised to tell me the truth after the matter is over in a few days. Is that what you promised? Although there are sleeping pills and secondary differentiation, it takes more than half a month, so there must be a chance for you to speak up. Did you take the initiative to tell me?"

He released the hand that was covering Caesar, but did not lift the ban on speaking. The female insect looked at him with red eyes, but because she could not speak to explain, her expression became more and more anxious.

"In the end, it was your adjutant who exposed you, but he was hesitant and refused to explain. It was only then that I saw the press conference and learned your identity."

Yael's teeth were itching with hatred. He originally just wanted to denounce it, but now he was really angry.

"If it's not a mistake, when are you going to tell me the truth?"

After the female insect propped herself up, they moved very close to each other, their breaths almost blending as they spoke. He could see the female insect's confusion and her anxiety to explain, but he still ruthlessly distanced himself from her.

"Your credit with me has gone negative."

Yael made the final conclusion in a decisive manner, and then he saw the female insect's expression change from eager to dull, as if she was in disbelief.

The female insect's eye sockets gradually turned red. She shook her head and blinked slowly. Her eyelashes were immediately stained with a few drops of water. Her voice was trembling and hoarse, "No..."

But then he remembered that Yael did not allow him to speak, and his Adam's apple rolled violently for a while, but he did not continue to explain, but his eyes and eyebrows were full of sadness and helplessness.

Ah...completely depressed.

Yael had already turned his head away, but he couldn't help but observe the female insect's expression from the corner of his eye.

Are you so sad? It should have just been an elementary school quarrel...right?

Why don't you say anything? Can't you defend yourself?

After realizing that his heart softened the more he watched, he made a prompt decision to get off the female insect.

The next second, I felt a pulling force on the sleeve of my right hand.

The force was very light, but it successfully made him stop. When he turned around, he found that Xize had connected his optical computer with his optical computer.

After a beep, a compressed packet is transmitted.

"What is this?"

Yael looked at the compressed file in the message box in confusion. When he clicked it, countless files popped out immediately.

He casually clicked on one of them, and when he read the content carefully, he heard the female insect's hoarse whisper behind his ear.

"It's all organized here, all about my experience and information, and some blank spaces were filled in later. I checked and there should be no omissions."

Xi Ze hugged Yael from behind, put his chin on his shoulder, reached out and held Yael's hand, and took him to look through all the documents.

"These are from when I was a cub, these, these, and these are from when I was in military school..."

Yael was also stunned and let the female insect pull his hand.

etc.

He accused the female of lying to him and even of breaking promises, but judging by the level of detail in the information, it was clear that she had been preparing to confess.

He even put all his past experiences into a document so that he could read it at any time...leaving him no room or privacy at all.

Yael looked stunned, and could clearly feel his chest vibrating again and again, as if condemning his tough words and actions just now.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry, Lord."

The female insect's breath sprayed behind my ears, bringing a warm and moist touch, as if a wild animal lowered its head and gently rubbed it with its wet nose, sniffing the rose petals that it had accidentally damaged.

Caesar said hoarsely, resting his forehead on the male insect's shoulder. He heaved a sigh of relief when he realized that Yael finally gave up the idea of ​​struggling and leaving. He said almost awkwardly, "I'm sorry."

Many times he didn't know how to fall in love with Yael and could only take the stupid method of being as gentle as possible. Fortunately, the taciturn and clumsy nature of this often-disdained military female did not dislike the male lord.

He had always thought that this was fine, but he suddenly realized just now that this way of getting along would make their relationship unable to withstand any twists and turns and tests.

Even a gust of wind can make it sway.

It's really complicated... Falling in love is more difficult to figure out than leading an army in battle. The answer cannot be calculated with data, and the result cannot be predicted with experience.

I can't catch it, and I can't keep it. I can't grasp it at all. I can only keep trying to feel and explore.

Then try, be honest and learn. Love is never a one-sided thing for his good, but the result of joint efforts of both parties.

"Hero Lord?"

西澤繼續試探着叫了耶爾一聲，得到了一個慢半拍的回應，才小心翼翼道。

“可以把分數加到正嗎？不行的話零分也可以……不要負分。”

耶爾好不容易回過神，就聽到這一句話，心尖頓時一疼。

要命。

早知道不和雌蟲賭氣好了，完全生不起氣來啊……

他嘆了口氣，沒有繼續翻看那些資料，将光腦合上了，然後轉過頭，親了親雌蟲的眼睛。

“剛才說的都是氣話，沒有變成負分，一直都是滿分，一百二十倍超高分！好嘛，不要傷心了。”

“好。”

西澤紅着眼睛應道，聽到後面的高分時又笑起來，“謝謝雄主。”

……也不知道在謝些什麽，但已經心軟得亂七八糟了。

耶爾嘆了口氣，好不容易哄着他親了一會，卻發現雌蟲有些魂不守舍，就連親吻時都會失神，要被咬一下才會繼續動作。

“怎麽了？”

他剛想分開看一下怎麽回事，就聽到雌蟲低聲道，“我已經知道了。”

“什麽？”耶爾愣了一下。

“剛才想了一下，還是覺得不能繼續騙您……我的光腦連接着病房的監控，可以聽到聲音的那種。”

西澤低垂着眼睫看他，聲音有些艱澀，“之前您和加拉赫的談話，我都聽到了，包括一年前那件事。”

“啊……知道就知道吧，反正都過去了。”

耶爾靜了一瞬，輕描淡寫道，又突然意識到這次雌蟲居然主動了一把，一時心情大好。

“下次有什麽安排可以直接和我說，裝監控也不是不可以，提前和我商量一下嘛，話說這個是只給你看還是有警衛值班？”

如果是只給雌蟲看的話，正好可以用這個逗逗他。

“只給我看。”

被打岔過去，西澤也沒有生氣，順着雄蟲的話低聲回應道，完全不知道雄蟲的惡劣心思，只是視線仍然忍不住往下移去。

耶爾的左手腕撐着沙發，露出一小截皓白的肌膚，隐約可見上面淩亂的痕跡，正如他所言，已經愈合了，慢慢也就過去了。

但他真的沒辦法就這麽忽略過去。

那些散落的照片，染血的床單，深可見骨的傷口……全部深深烙印在腦海深處，每一處細節都清晰可見。

對常年征戰的軍雌而言，那些傷口本身不可怕，但受傷的蟲——叫耶爾啊。

從第一次看見耶爾的時候起，還有那之後相處的每一天中，他都能從雄蟲身上汲取到活下去的能量。

溫暖的，柔韌的，像是蓬勃生長的野草，不合時宜，孤獨又随性地生長着。

雖然察覺到它的根莖受過狂風暴雪，甚至在草葉上留下了不可愈合的傷痕，卻沒想過它曾經這樣絕望，以至于抛棄一切自我了斷。

耶爾不太習慣氣氛這麽沉重，聳了聳肩，故意開了個玩笑，“所以你應該知道我為什麽這麽奇怪了吧。”

“一開始是不是會想世界上怎麽會有這樣的雄蟲，太震驚了吧，結果沒想到——”

“居然好像真的不是這個世界的，和外星生物談戀愛的感覺怎麽樣？”

他眯着眼笑，伸手想逗逗這個眼眶通紅的雌蟲，卻沒想直接被抓住了手腕。

袖子被唰得一下拉上去，将傷口完全露了出來。

耶爾微微睜大了雙眼。

“我不在乎——”

西澤凝視着面前的雄蟲，一字一句道，“不管雄主來自哪裏，原本到底是誰，我都不在乎，那些東西根本就不重要。”

“重要的是……”

他哽哽了一下，聲音已經沙啞到極點，沒能繼續說下去，“重要的是……”

和那雙通紅的眼睛對視片刻，耶爾終于忍不住偏了偏頭。

他迅速眨了眨眼，假裝揉捏眉心，順勢将眼睫沾上的水珠擦去了，聲音卻掩蓋不住那一絲沙啞。

“反正沒事了，我還在這裏，那些事都已經過去了。”

“……可是我心疼。”

心疼得快要呼吸不了了，酸澀疼痛得像要枯萎，卻流不出多少血淚。

因為根本于事無補，那些事情發生了就是發生了，無可挽回。

他以前從不會做無謂的幻想，現在卻恨不得能穿越時空，将曾經茫然無措的小耶爾攬進懷裏，幫他解決一切麻煩和心懷鬼胎的蟲。

告訴他不要害怕，以後有我在。

“雄主以前看見我身上遺留下來的傷痕，也是這種心情嗎？”

傷口印在自己身上時不在乎，覺得不疼，但在另一雙蘊含着愛意的眼睛裏，卻仿佛能切身感受到那些劇烈的痛楚，痛到心髒都冰封。

耶爾怔怔地看着他，幾乎說不出話來。

西澤輕撫着雄蟲手腕上柔軟的突起，突然低下頭，在那些淩亂的傷疤上落下一吻。

像是穿透經年的時間縫隙，給當時茫然又無助的耶爾一個遲到的安慰和愛撫。

“我以後不會再讓自己随便受傷了，雄主也不可以。”

耶爾心尖一顫，那塊冰涼的皮肉上仿佛落下一塊燒紅的烙鐵，難以抑制地顫抖起來。

滾燙溫度順着血液一路湧上心髒，像是正在沸騰的岩漿，又痛又麻的感覺蔓延全身，為壓抑潮湧的心緒加大了難度。

“……好。”

他啞聲應道，動了動手腕掙脫出來，反手和雌蟲十指交錯，指腹恰好覆上虎口粗粝的繭子。

他伸手将西澤往自己這邊拉，沒有用力，但雌蟲已經靠了過來。

被分隔開的身體距離再次消失，盡可能地緊緊貼合在一起，近乎貪婪地汲取着對方的體溫。

仿佛兩只在寒冷中瑟瑟發抖的小動物，如果不緊靠在一起，互相扶持鼓勵着前進，就會凍斃在漫天的風雪中。

耶爾額頭抵着西澤的肩膀，平息了好一會，突然低聲道。

“那時候不懂事，沒辦法放過自己，做了很多錯事，現在想想，其實也挺可笑的。”

他有千萬種方法能讓自己過得好一點，哪一種都比傷害自己要好得多，可卻偏偏選擇了最傻的那一種。

耶爾收緊了抱着雌蟲的手，又覺得慶幸和後怕起來。

還好那時候沒成功，不然就沒辦法救下西澤，也沒辦法這麽暖乎乎地抱在一起了。

他曾憎恨命運的惡劣戲弄，卻又在無數個瞬間，流着淚感謝命運慷慨的饋贈。

但或許這東西就是這樣，無法強求，但只要努力爬起來一步一步地走下去，便會在下一秒迎來專屬于自己的未來。

“別那麽說。”

西澤卻啞聲反駁了他，“那時候雄主已經很害怕了，沒必要苛責曾經的自己。”

“您已經做得很好了，比很多很多蟲都好，如果是我遭遇這些事，也沒有自信能做得比您更好。”

“您并不可笑，也不傻，不準再妄自菲薄了。”

耶爾緊盯着雌蟲軍裝上的金色紐扣，沒有出聲接話，不是不想，而是已經一再抿緊了唇，連呼吸都輕到近乎屏息。

因為一出聲，就肯定會暴露出聲音中濃重的鼻音，到時候又要惹雌蟲擔心了。

一連深吸了好幾口氣，他才勉強壓下湧到鼻尖的酸澀，故意清了清腫痛的嗓子，啞聲笑道，“你是不是專門去學習過了？”

“比如看了星網上的戀愛課程，或者《戀愛心理必修課》《1999句情話》什麽的，不然怎麽會……說情話程度進步這麽快啊？”

西澤咳嗽了一聲，有些輕微的不好意思，但還是老老實實道。

“我沒有專門看教程，剛才其實也沒有在說情話。”

只是面對該好好珍視的存在，就應該放在心髒最柔軟的地方，認認真真地對待，連說出的話都字字句句斟酌，生怕哪裏有尖銳的棱角。

“不過我剛才說的是真的。”

耶爾用力按了按眼睛，把那些酸澀壓下去，起身和雌蟲拉開了一些距離。

他的神色疲憊而柔和，眼尾雖然還有些泛紅，但看起來已經沒什麽關系了，那雙烏黑的眼裏映射着一線極亮的微光。

“我是說，我不會再自傷了。”

不等西澤反應過來，耶爾額前的碎發間探出來兩根細軟的觸角，興致勃勃地上下顫動，用末端感受着周圍的氣息。

“——要不要來看看我的精神圖景？”

“雄主？”

話音轉變得太快，且似乎沒什麽關聯，但雄蟲已經湊近了他，想要對接觸角。

西澤便也只能閉上眼，伸出敏感的末端對接上去，在相觸的瞬間從喉間擠出一聲顫抖的鼻音。

以往的精神疏導都是雄蟲将精神力探入他的圖景中，在裏面進行修複或重建……已經被從裏到外徹底撫弄了一遍。

但他還是第一次被允許進入耶爾的精神圖景。

觸角相對的瞬間，斷開許久的精神鏈接在此結合，似乎比之前少了些許滞澀感，再自然不過地水乳交融。

嘩啦——

耳廓中響起海浪洶湧的聲音，撲面而來的鹹澀氣息撩起額前的碎發，映入眼簾的是一片深藍色的遼闊天宇。

Cizek stood up and found himself lying on a small boat, drifting along the gentle waves. Yael was sitting on the side of the boat beside him, dipping his calves into the sea water.

"Is this... the spiritual picture of the hero?"

A wave of star-like blue tears came with the waves, and scattered suddenly after hitting the boat, like fireworks rising to the top and blooming, emitting millions of bright lights, which was extremely shocking.

Yael stepped on the cool sea water, waved away the glowing jellyfish and small silver fish surrounding his feet, turned his head and smiled at the female insect.

"I didn't have a mental picture during my first differentiation, and I didn't have one in the following years. This one just appeared recently, and it wasn't until I went through the second differentiation that it was finally built."

His eyes reflected the blue tears spreading on the sea, as if an entire vast and flourishing starry sky was hidden in his eyes, with an almost breathtaking beauty.

Xi Ze subconsciously held his breath and reached out to brush away the strands of hair that had fallen on the tip of his nose. However, his fingertips were held and received a very light kiss, like a fish skimming over duckweed, causing ripples.

"I have thought about it many times, why I can never successfully construct a mental picture, and it was not until now that I finally understood it——"

“The spiritual vision is not a floating castle in the air. It needs to take root in the soil of life and draw energy from it to grow a huge and complex system inside.”

"But to me, whether it's spiritual power, spiritual vision, or this race... they are all like the Arabian Nights, like a dream. There is little sense of reality in them, so I have never been able to take root."

Found on the battlefield, a strange outsider with no identity and no genetic match to any male insect in the Empire... He doesn't fit in with this world.

but--

Yael looked at the ripples of the waves in the distance, as if he felt the call of those warm memories, and his heart was filled with a calm and peaceful state.

"It was only after I found you and began to learn how to do spiritual counseling that I began to slowly accept and become familiar with these things."

It was like having a fixed anchor in the boundless sea. After meeting the female insect, this world gradually connected and merged with his heart and flesh, becoming real bit by bit.

"——In a sense, this spiritual picture was created for you."

This is what Yael wanted Cesar to know.

Although it doesn't solve any problems, it can hopefully reduce the female insect's anxiety by letting her know that the insect she loves won't slip away from her fingers like a wisp of wind.

"I don't want to think about those things anymore, and neither should you. Just let them pass naturally."

Yael held out his hand toward Cize, against the howling sea breeze.

Just then, a ray of dawn light broke through the distant horizon, dispelling all the darkness on the sea. The apocalyptic star falling in the brilliant clouds was incomparably dazzling.

But it was nothing compared to the extremely bright light in those dark eyes, which penetrated the darkness and malice earlier than the late dawn of adultery, and was an extremely warm and dazzling existence.

"After all, we have a new future, don't we?"

The author has something to say:

Primary school chickens quarrel → Primary school chickens make peace → Primary school chickens make promises