Chapter 85
Yael opened his eyes with difficulty.
My vision was blurry, from complete darkness to gradual light, as if I had slept for a very long time, and my mind had gone blank.
There seemed to be something covering his face, and he felt a little uncomfortable. He took a deep breath, moved his fingers hard, and slowly regained his perception of his body.
"ah!!"
But before he could sit up, the nurse passed by the ward and took a look inside. She was stunned by the movement of this vegetative patient who had been lying in bed for a long time.
"You, you're awake? Duan Li, go get the doctor..."
Realizing something, the nurse immediately opened the door and turned on the light. After confirming that Yael was awake, she pushed her companion and asked her to run and call a doctor.
"What a medical miracle! You actually woke up?! Do you feel uncomfortable now?"
The nurse hurried to look at the machine, marveled at it, and recorded the patient's physical data.
It was the middle of the night and she thought someone had risen from the dead!
"Hey, it's okay..."
Yael opened his mouth, his voice a little hoarse. After regaining some mobility, he leaned on the bed that the nurse had raised, closed his eyes, and gathered his strength.
The doctor arrived quickly, did some basic checks, and began to talk about "medical miracles". He looked at Yael as if he was looking at a rare prehistoric monkey.
"You have been living here since you were declared brain dead. I come to check on you occasionally, and the results I get are always unexpectedly good."
As he listened to the patient's condition and kept talking, he saw Yael's expression change from distress to calm, and he even adjusted his state quickly, becoming more excited and confused.
"Your muscles show no signs of atrophy, and you don't have bedsores from lying down for so long... You don't look like a patient who has been bedridden for so long at all. Sometimes I even suspect that you are healthier than me."
Yael sat for a while, the discomfort gradually subsided, and he regained control of his body. Hearing this, he chuckled softly.
"Thank you doctor for your concern. Maybe I am just... lucky."
When his eyes were no longer sore and afraid of the light, he tried to open them, and the world had become clear again.
In front of him was an ordinary ward, with bright white lights and a lingering smell of disinfectant. He was sitting on a narrow bed, wearing a thin hospital gown.
The doctor in a white coat looked curious, "How did you wake up? Did you wake up suddenly, or was there some chance?"
"…It seemed like I had a very long dream, but when I woke up I couldn't remember the content of the dream."
Yael lowered his eyes and recalled the time from when he fainted to when he woke up. However, his memory seemed to be shrouded in a layer of mist, and no matter how hard he tried, he could not touch the reality underneath.
The doctor beside him sighed for a while, and after confirming that he was fine now, he also planned to leave.
"Whether you can sleep or not, I suggest you get some rest and we can talk about it tomorrow."
"If you feel any discomfort, just press the button. I will come and check it out again tomorrow."
After they left, the ward became quiet and dim again.
Yael followed instructions, lay down, covered himself with the quilt, and closed his eyes drowsily, taking advantage of the lingering sleepiness.
But then I thought of the long dream I just mentioned, and belatedly I sensed a hint of warmth coming through the hazy mist, as if I was feeling the warmth of the sun through the glass.
...It must be a beautiful dream.
*
"Doctor...really?!"
Yael was awakened by a burst of noisy noises. He opened his eyes with some difficulty. The noises around him quieted for a moment, and then louder shouts broke out.
“Hey! Hey hey hey—it seems to be really moving!”
He turned his head and a big face came over, with a pair of round eyes, "Brother! Brother, you are really awake!"
Yael barely fended off the close attack and cleared his throat.
"Really, I'm really awake. Don't get so close. I haven't brushed my teeth in a long time."
"oh……"
The junior student moved away a little with regret, but still looked at him curiously.
"Brother, this is a medical miracle. Even a patient diagnosed with brain death can recover on his own. You are this!"
He raised his thumb to show his admiration for the strongest of the strongest.
Yael couldn't help but laugh, and the slight tension disappeared silently. He looked up at the people around him, most of whom were classmates who had rushed over after hearing the news.
The senior sister in the same laboratory had red eyes. When she saw him looking at her, she turned around and wiped her tears.
"It's good that you woke up. Fortunately, I didn't give up and chose to let you stay in the hospital."
"Yeah, you didn't have any family, and the situation was really despairing. Fortunately... we have survived the disaster now, and we will be safe and sound from now on."
The senior brother put the fruit basket and flowers together, said a few words of comfort after hearing what he said, and after confirming that he had woken up, he called the mentor to tell him.
Yael sighed, and an apologetic smile appeared on his pale face, "I'm sorry to have caused you all to worry."
The junior student waved his hand and said casually.
"Why are you saying sorry? Brother, you died suddenly because you were too dedicated to your job. You've already made the headlines as an inspirational figure in school. You're a well-known figure!"
Is he already famous?
Yael coughed softly and was about to ask about the experiment when the door of the ward suddenly opened and a somewhat familiar figure walked in quickly.
"Teacher."
"The tutor is here!"
As soon as he appeared, several greetings rang out reflexively. Yael followed their gaze and saw a familiar face that was suppressing his excitement.
He couldn't help laughing, but before he could even call out the word "mentor", he was hugged tightly.
"Hello..." Long time no see.
The old man with half-white hair looked excited. Seeing this once dazzling student again, he couldn't hold back his tears and patted Yael's shoulder hard.
"Good! It's good that you're back! I knew you weren't destined to die!"
A sour feeling rushed up his nose. Yael blinked and tried hard to hold back his tears. He hugged him back tightly, his voice a little hoarse.
"Yeah, I'm finally back."
After a period of chaos, the ward finally returned to peace.
"Don't worry about the cost of treatment. After the school learned about your situation, they organized a trickle-down fund to cover the cost of your surgery and hospital stay. There is still some money left."
After asking about Yael's situation and confirming that everything was fine, the tutor told Yael everything that had happened in the past few days and helped him fill in the gaps.
"As for research funding, the university has re-approved funding to fill the original gap, and the project is now doing very well."
"After that, you can rest and recuperate. You can take a year or two off from school. When you have fully recovered, come back to school. I will see if there is a suitable project and then assign you to it."
The situation is better than expected.
At least everything seemed to be frozen before he fell into a coma, and his life hadn't changed much, which was enough for him to be grateful.
"Okay, I understand...thank you."
Yael's shoulders relaxed, and he met his instructor's concerned gaze. He looked around at the crowded classmates and couldn't help but smile.
The sense of strangeness and helplessness that had lingered since I woke up dissipated silently in this bustling atmosphere with the smell of fireworks.
The senior sister saw his hidden confusion and spoke to him in a comforting voice.
"Everyone is about to graduate, and you are the only one who needs to start over. But there is no need to rush in life. Many of your classmates choose to continue their studies. You can study for a lifetime."
"Yes, yes, hey, brother, I'm suddenly very curious——"
The junior student started chattering and took over the conversation, and began to ask Yael questions about things that he didn't know in normal times.
"Are you conscious when you are lying in bed? Can you hear the noises outside? Do you dream? Or..."
Yael was a little helpless, but still said seriously.
"I probably wasn't conscious. I have no memory of this period. I might have dreamed about it, but I forgot it as soon as I woke up."
They chatted for a while, during which time the teacher's wife brought some nourishing soup. After washing up and eating the soup and meal, it was soon afternoon.
"Here is a cell phone and some money. Take your time to cultivate. There is no rush!"
The junior student stuffed everything into his hands, all of which were necessities for reintegrating into society.
Yael quickly took it and said with a smile, "Okay, thank you."
"Bye, I'll come see you tomorrow."
A group of people left the ward one after another. The junior student who was walking behind wanted to close the door, but when he looked up, he was suddenly stunned.
Yael sat quietly on the bed, looking over here with a frown on his face.
The dazzling sunlight danced on the young man's hair and collar, and the young man's thin outline seemed to be covered with a layer of light white duck down, making him look like he was glowing.
Those fleeting times did not leave any trace on him.
The black hair and eyes, as well as the fair skin, were exactly the same as in my memory, like a well-preserved ink painting that would return to life as new once the dust was shaken off.
It was as if he was not diagnosed with brain death and had been lying in the dark hospital bed for so long, but was left in the cracks of time, escaping all the turmoil and waking up safely.
Seeing him looking over, Yael looked a little puzzled, smiled and waved, "Bye?"
"…Bye, I'm leaving!"
A strange feeling flashed through his mind, but the junior student didn't pay much attention to it. He soon grinned, waved his hand and closed the door.
Bang.
The door was closed gently, and it seemed as if the whole room was shaking slightly, leaving the room alone in silence.
Yael looked at the door in a daze, lowered his eyes for a while, took out his previous mobile phone from his arms, and pressed and held it to turn it on.
The phone was fully charged and could be used normally, except that WeChat was a little stuck due to too many messages. After clearing all the messages, it ran much smoother.
他試了一下，果然停機了，本來想充一下話費，卻發現銀行卡不知道為什麽鎖住了，要到線下店解鎖才能使用支付。
等出院後先去把卡解鎖了才行。
耶爾又翻了一下，果然找到了房東的信息，得知自己的東西已經被打包到了雜物間，而原本的房子已經租給別人了。
……這下是真的居無定所了。
他輕嘆一聲，卻也明白這其實是比較好的結果了。
病房內一片安靜，只能聽見呼吸的聲音。
從昨晚到剛才，他身邊都圍繞着很多聲音，感嘆的、驚喜的、各種詢問和關心的，基本擠占了全部的空間。
雖然覺得很熱鬧溫暖，但直到這時耶爾才有獨處的空間，可以開始思考一些其他東西。
過去已經不可追，前路仍然未知，但也充滿着光明和希望。
他本該像導師和師姐勸說的那樣，先什麽都不想，專心修養好身體，然後繼續學習深造。
不管怎麽說，繼續讀書都是一條很好的路。
但莫名的，總有一道微弱的聲音隐藏在心底，只有在安靜時才會探出頭來叫喚——
不要忘記……不要忘記*%$啊……！
耶爾捏了捏眉心，想要分辨那含糊的聲音，卻怎麽都沒辦法聽清，許久後只能滿腹疑慮地放棄。
但就是這一絲異樣，讓他始終沒辦法接受擺在面前的道路，而是在醒來的交叉路口猶豫不決。
總覺得……如果就這麽忽略的話，他一定會後悔的。
算了，走一步算一步吧。
*
耶爾在醫院裏呆了幾天，确認身體非常健康，已經可以出院了。
他把出院消息群發了一下，表示感謝和不用再來看望。
“走啦？”
認出他的醫生打了個招呼，再次強調道，“年輕人，以後注意愛惜身體，尤其是不要幾天幾夜地熬，來醫院這麽一次就夠了。”
耶爾低咳一聲，“好，我會注意的。”
三年不住院，一住住三年。
他已經在醫院睡得夠夠的了，再也不想躺在那張死硬的病床上了。
耶爾在醫院并沒有什麽行李，辦理好出院手續，一人一個小包立刻就可以走了。
推開醫院大門，外面的嘈雜聲音頓時撲面而來。
車水馬龍，人潮洶湧，是二十幾年來刻在骨子裏的畫面，一見到便油然而生的親切。
耶爾怔了一下，一瞬間幾乎有些怯意。
“靓仔，你要不要走的，不要堵到門喔。”
一個穿背心褲衩的大叔拍了拍他，等耶爾轉過身，又上下打量了他一眼。
“真是好靓仔啊！我的眼光沒有錯的。”
耶爾連忙把門徹底拉開，側身讓出位置，“不好意思，你先走吧。”
大叔走了出去，他也終于放開醫院的門，一步步嘗試着從檐下的陰影，走進那片熱鬧的陽光中。
陽光比他想象的還要刺眼。
耶爾微眯起眼睛，伸手擋了一下，走出了醫院的範圍，卻突然有些茫然了。
眼前的路口熟悉又陌生，還在原來的城市，也在他比較熟悉的地區，但三年下來很多東西都變了。
商店、居民房還有道路等等，都已經翻新過一遍，和模糊的記憶畫面錯開。
耶爾莫名有種恍若隔世的感覺。
“嘀嘀！”
一輛出租車在他身邊停下，按了兩下喇叭，他連忙後退了兩步，表示自己不是要搭車，那車很快又開走了。
“那好像是十七中學，老建築應該都還在，先走一走熟悉一下吧。”
耶爾環顧了一圈，倏地眸光一亮，向着仍然保持原貌的地方走去。
這會剛好是快要放學了，中學門口的小攤販已經準備妥當，就等着一群饑腸辘辘的小崽子沖出來，然後大賣特賣。
“澱粉腸！靓仔要不要來一根澱粉腸！”
“缽缽雞！一元一串的缽～缽雞！好吃又美味的缽缽雞～”
他挑着樹底下走，很快感覺到陽光沒那麽刺眼了，原本想着随便買點什麽吃，填飽肚子後就去解鎖銀行卡的。
鍋裏的油花滋滋作響，金黃的蛋液軟嫩噴香，琳琅滿目的食材被串在竹簽子裏，等待着被挑選後下鍋……都是能輕易勾動饞蟲的美味。
“缽仔糕！兩元一個，五元三個！可以自選口味！”
他之前在**的時候，有相當一部分想念就是對家鄉的美食。
**？
耶爾愣了一下，腦海裏的念頭一閃而過，卻怎麽也捕捉不到那個模糊的**是什麽東西。
他在原地怔住許久，恰好停在賣缽仔糕的攤位邊，熱情的老板娘向他揮了揮手。
“帥哥！我們家的缽仔糕特別好吃，好多口味的，要不要來試一下？”
耶爾回神，下意識看向那個攤位，果然見到了五顏六色各種口味的缽仔糕，看起來特別晶瑩漂亮。
“這個是百香果味的，這是藍莓、草莓、綠豆、桂花……想要什麽口味都可以，五塊錢三個，很便宜的！”
“你看這個。”
耶爾看得入神，下意識伸手，卻只拉到了無形的空氣，想要分享的心情也和手一樣頓在了那裏。
他怔了一下，有些困惑地看着自己的手，又轉頭看了看人群。
剛才……是想要叫誰來一起看？
耶爾沒什麽很親密的朋友，倒不是因為其他原因，只是因為更享受獨處時的狀态，平常去哪裏都是自己一個人，早就習慣了。
剛才下意識想要分享的舉動，對他來說才是反常。
而他卻完全不知道自己是怎麽被潛移默化，和誰一起養成這個新習慣的。
但不可否認，剛才伸手拉空的時候，心底好像也被捅了一個空洞，空落落的，被風一吹就酸澀地疼。
“帥哥，你還要嗎？這個真的很好吃，芋泥的還會爆漿喔！”
老板娘有些不明所以，但還是熱情地推銷着缽仔糕，順着耶爾的眼神将那個草莓的拿了出來。
“要一個草莓的，一個百香果，一個芋泥吧。”
耶爾抿了抿唇，點了三個口味，從小包裏翻出導師給的一些現金，遞了一張二十的過去。
拎着塑料袋走出一段距離，他把那個百香果拿出來嘗了一口。
應該是加了真的百香果汁，很純正的酸味，讓耶爾有些糾結地擰起眉心，一邊忍着牙酸一邊吃。
……他不喜歡吃這麽酸的，但下意識就是點了。
也許是因為那個不存在的“人”喜歡吃吧。
嗯，也有可能是鬼。
他嘆了口氣，任憑腦子放空了一會，卻還是撥不開那一層迷霧，只能暫時按捺下來。
路過商店，順便買了吐司面包當做今晚的晚餐，耶爾很快又找到了公交車站，按照記憶扒拉出了一家銀行的位置。
“嘎吱——”
公交車晃晃悠悠地停在眼前，發出放氣的聲音，前門砰一下打開，耶爾趕緊上去，把手伸進小書包裏想要拿兩塊錢。
……等等。
剛才找回來的零錢呢？
耶爾越翻越困惑，剛才他确實從老板手裏接過了零錢的，本來是一張十塊一張五塊，他還專門找散了那五塊錢的。
“嘀，兩元。”
他正翻找着，一個幹練的短發姐姐就上了車，先是刷了一下乘車碼，看了他一眼，把碼刷新後又刷了一次。
“嘀，兩元。”
耶爾愣了一下，意識到這個姐姐幫他刷了卡，下意識脫口而出道，【%￥#。】
等等，他在說什麽亂七八糟的？
耶爾眨了眨眼回過神來，連忙找補道，“……謝謝！”
短發姐姐有些困惑，但還是向他點了下頭，轉身在座位上坐下。
公交車上的座位很多，耶爾選了一個靠窗的。
玻璃和座椅都被陽光烘得暖乎乎的，而窗外的景象正搖搖晃晃地倒退。
他看到了很多熟悉的景物，這座城市的輪廓從模糊變得清晰，一點點補全了那幾年空白的缺失。
欣喜和舒适的感覺源源不斷地滋生，從飄忽的空中落到了堅實的土地。
本該如此。本該如此。
像是嬰兒回歸母體，蜷縮在溫熱的羊水中，每一個細胞都表達着回歸的喜悅和契合——
他真正屬于這裏，不論軀殼還是靈魂。
但耶爾能很清楚地感覺到，他正在壓抑分享和傾訴的欲望。
那棵樹的形狀好奇怪，像是一朵玫瑰。
有點餓了，想吃面包……但是忘記買水了，幹吃肯定會噎死。
啊，已經放學了，這裏的學生每天都要穿藍白色校服，一模一樣的套裝輪着換。
這家的窯雞特別好吃，味道純正，香嫩多汁……就是小貴。
仿佛此刻應該有一個“人”，坐在他旁邊的位置上，耐心地聽着他所有漫無邊際的想法，給着簡潔而溫柔的回應。
會細致地安排好一切，不會讓他得過且過地敷衍晚餐，偶爾寡言偶爾又絮叨，但不管怎樣都很可愛。
是生命和靈魂的另外一半，無法遺忘，不可或缺。
在意識到沒辦法遏制這種情緒後，耶爾自然而然地放任了它，感受着那種奇異的感覺在周身流動，好像這陽光一樣将他包裹進去。
He was missing her, but he was not thinking about the world in front of him wholeheartedly. It could even be said that the two kinds of missing were half and half, with neither side being less than the other.
Yael opened his mouth, wanting to call out the name that was in his mouth, but he could never cross that line.
He took a deep breath and leaned against the glass window somewhat tiredly.
……never mind.
*
After unlocking the bank card and recharging the phone bill and data, the phone was finally able to function again.
It was getting darker and the night was as cool as water.
Since he couldn't go back to his previous rental house and had to wait until tomorrow to get his things, Yael decided to stay in a hotel temporarily.
Click.
The door of the hotel was closed, and Yael fell onto the bed exhausted. He closed his eyes and rested for a while before he finally recovered some strength.
After lying in the hospital for so long, the body was still somewhat damaged. This body has become much thinner than before, and you can even feel the bones clearly when you touch it.
The clock hanging on the wall of the hotel was ticking.
The door to the small balcony was not closed. The evening wind blew up the smoky gray curtains, which flew over the glass bottle with dried roses on the table and then flattened out again.
The setting sun slowly lost its last bit of heat, and the light in the room became dim.
“…”
Yael opened his eyes silently and looked out the window at the sky in a trance, feeling a little confused for some reason.
He finally went home.
But it was not as peaceful and joyful as I had imagined.
He himself didn't know what the reason was. His memory deceived him but could not deceive his conscious reactions and emotions.
During his coma, he had a beautiful dream.
Or...really experiencing a new journey in life?
The author has something to say:
Yeye: Oh no, it seems like there is a ghost wife during the coma (thinking)