Chapter 18
Did I do something wrong?
Shi Ziqian's mood was off, and Zhan Xinyue keenly sensed it.
Perhaps she should say something, but she opened her mouth slightly and then refrained from doing so.
She and Shi Ziqian were clearly not close enough for her to inquire about his affairs. Moreover, she was currently preoccupied with her own problems and had no energy to worry about other people's feelings.
Zhan Xinyue silently withdrew her gaze and lowered her eyes.
Zhang Chao, being young, was incredibly energetic when lecturing. He took over the short break in the middle of the class and continued for two classes until the long break. Only then did he reluctantly toss down the chalk and say, "Okay, let's take a break and continue in the next class."
Zhan Xinyue had been studying chemistry for two consecutive periods, and her head was spinning. She immediately put down her pen.
Before I could even breathe a sigh of relief, there was a soft sound on the table.
A can of bright red Want Want milk, grinning from ear to ear, appeared on the corner of her table.
—And it just so happens to be red, a color that easily evokes her bad memories.
Wangzai's owner, quite familiar with the situation, came over, bent down and peered at the cover of her textbook on the corner of her desk, then read out word by word: "Zhan—Xin—Yue—" pausing for a long pause, and exclaimed, "What a good name."
Following the hand resting on the can, the smiling face was all too familiar—it was the very culprit behind that dream.
The culprit, oblivious to his crimes, stood before her table, a smirk on his lips, one hand casually tucked into his pocket, looking quite relaxed.
Zhan Xinyue didn't know what expression to wear when facing Xu Shen; she felt like she had become numb.
"What's with that expression?" Xu Shen raised an eyebrow.
Zhan Xinyue remained silent. She didn't understand why Xu Shen had suddenly become so persistent. If their chance encounter just now wasn't something she should think about, she was now absolutely certain: in her memories of her past life, the two of them had never crossed paths.
“I didn’t even have a chance to ask your name last time.” Xu Shen, of course, had no idea what she was thinking, and continued with great interest, “When your family named you this, were you admiring the moon? Were you all gathered together, watching the new moon slowly unfold in the sky, and then…”
"What do you want?" Zhan Xinyue interrupted his rambling without any politeness.
"Oh, it's nothing, I just wanted to give you this." Xu Shen remembered his business and turned the can of Want Want milk so that its smiling face was facing her.
"What's this?"
“This…” Xu Shen scratched his head thoughtfully, sighed, and seemed somewhat helpless, “This is Want Want.”
Zhan Xinyue almost laughed out of anger, raising her voice, "I'm asking you why you gave me this?"
“You really don’t remember anything at all?” Xu Shen said. “You treated me to water at Xiao Chao’s that day, don’t you have any recollection of that? This is a return gift for you.”
Before Zhan Xinyue could respond, he waved his hand and said, "Alright, I'm going back to my seat." Before turning around, he also smiled at Shi Ziqian, who was frowning and looking over.
Shi Ziqian ignored him, coldly shifting his gaze and lowering his head.
Zhan Xinyue was speechless at his inexplicable appearance and inexplicable departure, and could only stare at Wangzai's smiling face.
Xu Shen, who was ahead, suddenly turned back halfway.
"Oh right, I forgot to tell you..." He added with a smile, his eyes crinkling, "My name is Xu Shen."
Zhan Xinyue was momentarily dazed.
Shi Ziqian paused for two seconds, and after hearing the name clearly, he suddenly looked up and stared at him for a moment.
Zhan Xinyue was also looking at him. Just like in her previous life, when they first met, Xu Shen introduced himself to her earnestly in the same way: "My name is Xu Shen." At that time, she didn't know that she would begin a bond with this name that would last for more than a decade.
She made a decision, stood up, turned around, and left.
Xu Shen's smile hadn't faded when he quickly said, "Hey, where are you going—"
Zhan Xinyue didn't turn around: "The restroom, what's up?"
...
Running away might be a cowardly act, but with her extremely precious memories replaying before her eyes in this situation, how can she muster the courage to face the reality that everything has changed when she sees the boy's long-lost, yet still smiling face?
She lingered in the bathroom for a long time. When she came out, the playground was bustling with activity, and the distant noise could be faintly heard. However, the teaching building was quiet and there were hardly any people inside.
She sighed and slowly walked back down the corridor. As she approached the classroom, she saw Shi Ziqian standing alone outside.
The lecture hall is at the end of the corridor, and there is a small terrace near the stairwell where people occasionally go to enjoy the breeze during breaks.
Zhan Xinyue didn't look much and walked towards the classroom, but she suddenly heard his voice just before entering the door.
"Zhan Xinyue," he called her.
Zhan Xinyue stopped and looked at him in confusion: "Hmm?"
He turned around and looked this way without anyone noticing. The scorching sunlight outside the teaching building was blocked by his backlight, so his face wasn't very clear.
Despite it being the height of summer, his voice suddenly reminded her of the cold, fragile icicles hanging from the eaves in winter.
Shi Ziqian stared at her, his dark eyes filled with inscrutable emotions in the light and shadow. He spoke in a very soft voice, as if a gust of wind could blow it away.
"Zhan Xinyue, what did I do wrong?"
What's the meaning?
She opened her mouth in confusion, unable to understand, and stared blankly at him.
Shi Ziqian's usually aloof face was now clouded with emotion, his eyes dark and brooding. She wondered if it was just her imagination, but she seemed to detect a hint of…sadness in his simple words?
My heart skipped a beat, a feeling I couldn't quite explain.
Then, almost in a panic, she subconsciously looked towards the classroom.
Fortunately, the door partially blocked this angle, so no one in the classroom noticed it.
She calmed herself down a bit, slowly turned back, and her mind raced as she tried to understand what he had said.
Over there, Shi Ziqian remained stubbornly staring at her, waiting for her answer.
Something's not right. Something's really wrong.
Why would he suddenly say something so strange?
Is Shi Ziqian the kind of person who would say something like that?
She really wanted to ask him what he meant, but she held back.
One thing is certain: something must have gone wrong with her behavior after her rebirth, to the point that even Shi Ziqian had doubts.
Alarm bells rang in Zhan Xinyue's mind, and her brain raced. She couldn't figure out what Shi Ziqian's ambiguous words meant. Since her rebirth, apart from asking him a question when she was confused at the beginning, she didn't seem to have done anything out of line, and she hadn't even spoken to him much. What could she have done wrong?
She was at her wit's end, knowing that a bad answer would only make him more suspicious. But in this situation, it seemed that no matter how she answered, she would only reveal more flaws.
In the silence, Zhan Xinyue felt that she must be sweating on her forehead.
She didn't dare to reply rashly, and instead looked at him silently, hoping he would say something to give her some hints.
But Shi Ziqian refused to say a single word more, just staring straight at her, which made her even more flustered.
Knowing that saying more would only lead to more mistakes, she decided to take a step back and let it go: "Don't think too much about it. Class is about to start, go inside."
After saying that, she didn't dare to look at Shi Ziqian's expression and quickly went into the classroom.
Before she even reached her seat, Zhan Xinyue was called to her again.
"Hey, Zhan Xinyue!"
This time, it was Xie Wanzhi who called out to her. For the first time since her rebirth, she was grateful to hear Xie Wanzhi's voice.
"What are you doing? I saved you a seat, why are you sitting in the back? I thought you weren't here. When Zhang Chao was doing his homework and Ziqian was doing his homework, I turned around and saw you sitting in the back." Xie Wanzhi questioned her angrily.
Zhan Xinyue glanced at her, then absentmindedly returned to her seat. "I didn't see you when I came, so I just found a seat."
“You can’t see me sitting in such an obvious spot? There’s such a big empty seat next to me!” Xie Wanzhi said as she pulled her over. “Didn’t we agree to sit together on Sundays? Why don’t you move to my seat now?”
"No..." Zhan Xinyue dodged for a moment, but before she could finish speaking, she saw Xie Wanzhi's gaze, which had been fixed on her, drift to the side for a split second.
After looking away, Xie Wanzhi pulled her again, but lowered her voice slightly: "Come on, sit with me in the front, otherwise I'll be all alone."
Sensing Shi Ziqian silently sit down again in the seat beside her, Zhan Xinyue hesitated before finally uttering a single, hesitant sound:
"Alright."
This is the second time today that she has chosen to run away.
She actually thought her previous statement was quite brilliant; whatever the reason, her answer seemed to fit. But such a perfunctory reply couldn't withstand scrutiny, and if Shi Ziqian said anything more, she would inevitably be exposed. For now, it was best to avoid it if possible.
Before leaving with Xie Wanzhi carrying the books, Zhan Xinyue still felt guilty about changing deskmates halfway through the semester. She whispered to the person next to her, "I'm going to sit in the front," before trying to remain calm as she walked towards the front of the classroom.
Xie Wanzhi's seat was in the middle of the classroom. She had only taken a few steps when she heard Zhang Chao shouting for everyone to hurry back to their seats and start class. She quickly sat down, and as soon as she put her things down, she looked up and suddenly realized that her seat was... way too close to Xu Shen.
Xu Shen sat a few rows in front of her, and from her vantage point, looking down at him, she could even clearly see the illustrations in the textbook on his desk.
The two classes were combined into one, and it was Sunday, so everyone was noticeably more relaxed than usual. Xu Shen was surrounded by a group of boys, talking to a few people next to him with his head turned to the side, gesturing wildly with his hands. Even just looking at his back, you could see how spirited he was.
The boys sitting around him weren't just from Class 1, but also two from Class 10. He was always like that; he could strike up a conversation anywhere and was always the center of attention among the boys.
I remember in my past life, after he transferred to Class 10, the whole class became noticeably noisier than before. Even the homeroom teacher said to him several times, half praising and half helplessly: Why is it that in this class, the area around you is always the most lively?
Later, when the class rearranged the seating, she no longer sat with Shi Ziqian, but instead became Xie Wanzhi's deskmate, while Xu Shen became the student behind her. She was quiet by nature, but she couldn't resist Xu Shen's endless stream of fresh topics, and gradually became influenced and assimilated by him. The four of them, whether in class breaks or during self-study, always huddled together, with endless things to talk about.
It's unclear what Xu Shen and the others were talking about, but they were laughing so hard they were practically falling over, until Zhang Chao threw a piece of chalk at them and smashed it on the table, which finally calmed them down a bit.
Zhan Xinyue stared blankly at him, her mind a jumbled mess. She had no idea what was wrong with her that day; it was as if she were possessed, with one strange thing after another happening.
She sat there in a daze for a while, and while Zhang Chao was writing questions on the blackboard, she secretly turned around and glanced back.
Shi Ziqian had left his seat at some point, leaving it empty.
Before afternoon classes, the weather was muggy and oppressive, like a steamer, and the dark clouds outside pressed down heavily, making people feel inexplicably irritable.
Zhan Xinyue followed Xie Wanzhi to the classroom, where Xie Wanzhi chattered on about what had happened that morning: "Zhang Chao is pretty arrogant, smashing things up like that, even though he's the son of a school board member. But speaking of which, I didn't know Shi Ziqian would sleep in class..."
Zhan Xinyue felt guilty for a second and said, "Doesn't he often sleep in the classroom?"
Xie Wanzhi pondered for a moment and said, "That's true, but it's always during break time. I don't think I've ever seen him sleep in class."
As they spoke, the two arrived at the classroom. Before entering, Zhan Xinyue glanced at the dark sky outside the corridor, feeling somewhat drowsy. It was obvious that in this kind of weather, a large number of students would fall asleep during English class.
However, contrary to her expectations, the classroom was not drowsy; instead, it was incredibly noisy. A cacophony of drumbeats and singing filled the room, making it feel as if she had stumbled upon a street performance.
Zhan Xinyue was taken aback. She saw a large group of people gathered in front of the stage, swaying their heads and singing loudly. The area was so crowded that it was impossible to move. Those who couldn't squeeze in simply sat on the tables in the front row and waved their hands haphazardly. The atmosphere was quite lively.
"Tsk, these people in Class 1 are crazy enough," Xie Wanzhi said.
Upon closer inspection, it was clear that the group of people having fun were mostly from Class 1, but a few outgoing students from Class 10 also joined in the fun.
Zhan Xinyue silently followed Xie Wanzhi up the steps to their seats. She looked up and suddenly saw Yu Bai leaning against the blackboard, and her eyelids twitched immediately. Sure enough, through the gaps in the crowd, she quickly spotted Xu Shen.
She should have known that Xu Shen would be indispensable at such an event.
He sat in the center of the crowd on the steps below the podium, holding two ballpoint pens in his hands. He used the table in front of him and an overturned empty trash can as his drum set, and was playing a chaotic drumbeat with a beaming smile.
Everyone was humming along to a song, and when the rhythm reached its climax, Yu Bai jumped up and sat on the lectern, using his glasses case as a microphone. With his back to everyone, he tilted his head back and roared with abandon.
Tonight
We are young
So let's set the world on fire
We can burn brighter Than the sun
...
Xu Shen increased the drumbeat, and everyone raised their voices in response. In an instant, the classroom was filled with a chaotic dance of voices, some high-pitched and some subtle, all mixed together as they sang with abandon. The joy was so palpable that it almost overflowed the classroom.
Many of the students in Class 10 were clearly not used to the atmosphere of Class 1 yet, and only sat in the back to watch, but quite a few were also infected by it, nodding and swaying their heads along.
Zhan Xinyue watched Xu Shen from afar. He was engrossed in his work with his eyes closed, his hair casually swept back, surrounded by his followers.
Outside the classroom, dark clouds churned, but inside, youthful energy soared.
This is probably what youthful spirit is all about.
She watched him quietly. Xu Shen was always relaxed and carefree, always happy and exuberant. It was this same Xu Shen who, when Zhan Xinyue was seventeen, boldly and irresistibly barged into her dull and oppressive high school life, and from then on occupied all her attention.
"Hey, class is starting, stop messing around." English teacher Xu Ying walked into the classroom; she was teaching this class.
She rolled up her textbook and knocked on the door a few times, her eyes immediately catching sight of the culprit in the crowd: "Xu Shen, holding another concert here."
Xu Shen had already stopped, but when she pointed at him, he immediately looked innocent: "Teacher Xu, you're wronging me." He tilted his head back towards the podium, "The lead singer is right here."
Xu Ying then noticed that there was another person sitting on the lectern. She walked up to the lectern, picked up a book, and pretended to hit Yu Bai. "Well, you've all gotten to the table. You've got some nerve!"
Yu Bai nimbly dodged to the side, jumped off the lectern from the other side, and darted back to his seat in two quick movements. "Teacher, please be clear, I'm at most an accomplice, but Xu Shen is always the principal offender."
"It's no use for you to implicate each other. I don't care who the ringleader is or who the accomplice is. Now get back to your seats." She pointed at Xu Shen. "Especially you, Xu Shen! Where did you drag this trash can from? Get back to your seat right now."
Everyone quickly dispersed, laughing and joking.
Xu Ying looked at the messy desks and chairs in the front row and rubbed her head: "Look at your Class 1, always acting like this, I really feel sorry for your teacher."
Xu Ying wasn't the teacher in charge of Class 1; she only tutored them during extra classes. But she seemed to know Xu Shen and his classmates better than many students in Class 10.
Although she had a tense expression, she didn't seem that angry. In fact, most of the teachers in the grade preferred Class 1 more than Class 2. Several teachers had already subtly mentioned in class that their class was too dull and not as energetic as Class 1.
Xu Shen explained with a smile, "Teacher Xu, we're just having a little fun today since Lao Fang isn't here. We don't always do this."
Xu Ying slammed her hand on the table: "What Old Fang! That's Director Fang!"
After a moment of silence, a burst of laughter erupted in the classroom, nearly turning it upside down.
Xu Ying then realized what was happening and slapped her forehead, "You guys have all confused me! No more laughing, get back to your seats and stay put!"
She pointed at the group of students from Class 10 who were laughing so hard they couldn't stand up straight, and said, "You, you, and you, you guys are usually quite well-behaved in class, but you've been corrupted by these rascals from Class 1, haven't you?"
Those whose names were called exchanged glances, quickly covered their mouths, and squeezed out of the crowd.
The others were still laughing and joking, but at least they dispersed and went back to their seats.
Xu Shen put her things away and tossed two pens onto Yu Bai's desk before heading to her seat. As she squeezed into the middle seat, a glance caught her eye, and she immediately saw Zhan Xinyue staring at her.
He suddenly looked over, and Zhan Xinyue was caught in a dilemma, unsure whether to look away or continue staring at him. In the awkward moment, Xu Shen had already raised two fingers to his temple, naturally greeting her.
Zhan Xinyue immediately lowered her head to look at the question.
Fortunately, nothing else went wrong that afternoon. Xu Shen stayed in his seat obediently for the next few classes, while Xie Wanzhi next to him was busy reading a novel. However, Shi Ziqian did not appear again that afternoon.
During a break from doing her homework, Zhan Xinyue suddenly remembered the nonsensical things Shi Ziqian had said that morning.
After all, it had been more than ten years since high school, and her memories of many things were hazy. Had anything special happened between her and Shi Ziqian before her rebirth? She had no recollection whatsoever.
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