He looked down at Nan Zhiyun and asked, "What?"
“In my dream, someone called me Mother… My heart aches so much, it’s as if he is calling me…” Nan Zhiyun felt her heart was being torn apart whenever she thought of the voice that called her Mother in her dream.
"It was just a dream..." Yu Jingchen didn't know how to respond. In his past life, Nan Zhiyun had been pregnant once, but she was gone before it was discovered...
Actually, the child was completely unexpected. Although he had a relationship with Nan Zhiyun, he never intended for her to get pregnant with his child.
So when he heard that Nan Zhiyun had miscarried, it was also unexpected.
Now, thinking back on all this, Yu Jingchen was filled with regret. He had never imagined such a thing would happen. Perhaps if he had discovered it earlier, things would have been different. But if it really was his past self, would he have kept that child? Probably not... His past self would not have allowed it.
"Your Majesty, if..." Nan Zhiyun hesitated, and Yu Jingchen knew what she wanted to ask, but unfortunately, he seemed unable to give her the answer she wanted.
"If a concubine from the past were to have a child, would His Majesty agree to let the child stay?" Nan Zhiyun asked him.
"Do you like children?" Yu Jingchen changed the subject.
Nan Zhiyun shook her head.
"You don't like it?" Yu Jingchen was somewhat surprised by this answer.
"I just don't dare," Nan Zhiyun denied.
"I know I can't protect him. Even if he really comes, I can't keep him," Nan Zhiyun replied.
Yu Jingchen felt a pang in his heart upon hearing Nan Zhiyun's words.
"So, before that, would Your Majesty be willing for me to have children?" Nan Zhiyun seemed very insistent on this answer.
“No…” Yu Jingchen replied.
Nan Zhiyun's eyes dimmed; this was indeed the answer she was expecting.
"Your Majesty is annoying, isn't he?" Nan Zhiyun asked.
Seeing Nan Zhiyun like this, Yu Jingchen couldn't bear it. He pulled her back into his arms and placed one hand on her back.
"Nan Zhiyun, I said that just now because I didn't want to lie to you. Your question also had a premise, didn't it? You asked about before that." Yu Jingchen's tone became much more serious.
“Before this, you should know what our relationship was like. At that time, I… was still unconscious and confused. So I was wary of you, the Nan family, and even the Empress Dowager, and I would never allow any royal bloodline to remain in the Nan family.” Yu Jingchen was very frank.
"So, every time Your Majesty was with me before, you didn't intend for me to get pregnant, right?" In short, you used drugs, didn't you?
“Yes, something will be added to your meal the next day,” Yu Jingchen said.
Although Nan Zhiyun had already guessed this, hearing Yu Jingchen's answer still made her feel cold.
"Your Majesty..." Nan Zhiyun's eyes welled up with tears.
"Nan Zhiyun, I was wrong before, but it won't happen again, and there will absolutely be no next time. I promise you. Okay?" Yu Jingchen didn't want to hear Nan Zhiyun say anything else he didn't want to hear.
Nan Zhiyun didn't respond to him for a long time, and Yu Jingchen began to get nervous.
He looked at Nan Zhiyun, and just as he was about to speak, Nan Zhiyun asked him another question.
"If Your Majesty's medicine stops working and I become pregnant, what will Your Majesty do? Will you keep the child?" Nan Zhiyun asked.
Yu Jingchen paused again, afraid that Nan Zhiyun would be in even more pain if he answered.
"Really?" Nan Zhiyun seemed eager to know the answer.
“Nan Zhiyun, if you want, you will have it in the future…” Yu Jingchen changed his words.
"Will it?" Nan Zhiyun asked again.
Looking into Nan Zhiyun's eyes, Yu Jingchen suddenly couldn't meet her gaze; he lacked the confidence to do so.
“Your Majesty…” Nan Zhiyun continued to call him.
"Nan Zhiyun, I don't want to deceive you. You actually know my answer. I know what you want to hear, I know you're expecting that kind of answer. But I'm sorry, it won't happen." Yu Jingchen made it very clear.
“Under such circumstances, I would not keep your child. Because I dare not take the risk, I am wary of the Nan family. Although the child is innocent, if he is of royal blood, then from the moment he is born, it will be a test for him to survive,” Yu Jingchen said.
"But Your Majesty, that's your child too." Nan Zhiyun's eyes glistened with tears. She felt inexplicably heartbroken, unlike usual. Now she felt as if she had truly lost a child.
"Yes, it's all my fault. I was heartless and cold-blooded. I'm sorry." He wouldn't deny it.
"Let's not talk about this anymore, okay? Let's not talk about it anymore. If you like it, we can have it in the future. Don't be like this, okay? I regret what happened before, and seeing you like this makes my heart ache..." Yu Jingchen was being quite direct in expressing his feelings. However, Nan Zhiyun still seemed unable to accept it.
“But I dare not, I dare not,” Nan Zhiyun repeated. She dared not have a child; she always felt guilty, as if she were blaming herself for not protecting the child that “never existed.”
Seeing Nan Zhiyun's pained expression, Yu Jingchen felt bad too. He looked at Nan Zhiyun in his arms, wiped away her tears, and said, "What happened before was my fault, but Nan Zhiyun, now... I will protect you, and I will also protect the people and things you want to protect. Don't be afraid, okay?"
"Nan Zhiyun, when I was young, my relationship with the Empress Dowager was actually quite close. I even used the Nan family as leverage in my bid for the throne. But... perhaps I wasn't resolute enough, perhaps I couldn't distinguish right from wrong, and so I was deceived. That's why we've become what we are now. Nan Zhiyun, I'm truly sorry." Yu Jingchen had been apologizing for the past few days. He knew that these words wouldn't express much, but he couldn't think of any other way to do it.
Later, Yu Jingchen seemed unwilling to continue talking, so he stopped speaking and simply held the person to comfort them.
Yu Jingchen had a vague feeling that this topic wouldn't end so easily today, and that they might have more issues arising from it in the future.
In the latter half of the night, Nan Zhiyun remained quiet. Yu Jingchen knew she hadn't fallen asleep, but of course, he wouldn't expose her. It wasn't until dawn that Nan Zhiyun finally managed to fall asleep.
Fortunately, she had to come in to serve Yu Jingchen as he went to court. When Yu Jingchen got up, he pressed Nan Zhiyun's sleeping acupoint, hoping that Nan Zhiyun could sleep a little longer.
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