Yu Jingchen sat alone in the side hall for a long time, unable to understand the meaning behind Nan Zhiyun's words. Or perhaps... her memories were different from his own? Did this mean that in a past life he didn't know about, he really did kill Nan Su, and her father?
If it were true, how should he face Nan Zhiyun? How could she forgive him...? This was the first time Yu Jingchen had ever hated his own powerlessness so much.
He doesn't even dare to see Nan Zhiyun now, because he doesn't want to face the hatred in Nan Zhiyun's eyes when she looks at him.
Yu Jingchen suppressed the news of his injury, after all, his injury was no small matter, especially since he was injured at Nan Zhiyun's place. If people found out, they would inevitably make a big deal out of it.
Nan Zhiyun's stab was too vicious; this was the first time Yu Jingchen had suffered such a serious injury. Even when he was the crown prince, fighting on the frontier, he had never been so badly wounded.
Speaking of personally leading the expedition back then... that incident later became the reason for the fear and hatred towards the Nan family. The reason was that although he went to the battlefield with Nan Su, the people and even the court officials at the time regarded Nan Su as a god of war, and all the credit was basically attributed to Nan Su. As for himself... ha.
But thinking about it now, it's actually quite understandable that they would think that way. Nan Su's image is already deeply ingrained in their minds, and what are they compared to him? Besides, Nan Su was always at the forefront, winning every time. Just look at the injuries he suffered... he almost never woke up again several times. And what about themselves? So... Nan Su's achievements were indeed great.
Yu Jingchen lowered his head, realizing that he had been too narrow-minded and opportunistic back then... Why couldn't he understand such a simple and obvious truth back then? His teacher had once said that the ability to tolerate others is an essential quality for an emperor... Unfortunately, he had not lived up to that.
My teacher often said that a ruler should have the world in his heart and be a benevolent and righteous leader. But what I believe in is never benevolence or love for others, but rather iron-fisted methods. What is mercy? Those things will only harm me in the end. If I were to be merciful and soft-hearted, I would only be the one to die.
But now… Yu Jingchen suddenly regretted not showing the Nan family and Nan Zhiyun a little bit of kindness back then. If he hadn’t been so cruel to them, if he hadn’t been so suspicious, would the situation be different now?
At least Nan Zhiyun wouldn't have suffered so much injury or pain, right? Her cold-blooded cruelty may have gained her a lot and served many purposes, but in the process, it seems she lost what she now cherishes most...
It took Yu Jingchen a long time to get up and return to Nan Zhiyun's room. But... he hesitated when he was about to go in. A dull pain throbbed in his chest, and Nan Zhiyun's undisguised hatred reminded him that she hated him, hated him to the point of wanting to kill him... In her heart, he was her father's killer.
"Your Majesty, perhaps we shouldn't go in yet. Let Consort Shu calm down first." Xinglai was also worried. After all, Consort Shu had just stabbed His Majesty. If His Majesty went in now, who knew what might happen next.
"It's alright..." Although Yu Jingchen said it was fine, he seemed to be the one most afraid of going in.
But he didn't hesitate much. After all, he couldn't stand outside forever, could he? Yu Jingchen went inside, and the room became somewhat dim, perhaps because it was getting dark.
Nan Zhiyun lay on the bed, seemingly asleep, but Yu Jingchen knew she wasn't.
Yu Jingchen didn't say anything, he just walked over and sat down. Looking at Nan Zhiyun, who was pretending to be asleep, he felt speechless for the first time. He... didn't know how to start the conversation, or what he should say.
“Yun’er…” Yu Jingchen’s voice was a little hoarse.
How could Nan Zhiyun possibly respond? She lay motionless to the side, completely unresponsive.
“I know you’re upset right now. You said I killed your father twice… Yun’er, I can tell you the truth, I really didn’t do it this time, and I didn’t cause your father’s disappearance. You might not believe me, but if I really did it, I wouldn’t hide it from you.” Yu Jingchen was still explaining what had happened this time.
"As for last time... I'm sorry, Yun'er, perhaps I've forgotten that memory... so I don't know, but... I'm sorry, I know, it's all my fault." Yu Jingchen didn't know why he killed Nan Su in Nan Zhiyun's memory, nor did he know if such a thing really happened. But he knew that Nan Zhiyun had such a memory, so no matter what, he had become the executioner who killed her closest relative.
Nan Zhiyun still didn't respond, but Yu Jingchen knew she could hear every word he said. It didn't matter if she didn't respond; Yun'er was angry, and anyone would be angry in this situation. So he wouldn't force Nan Zhiyun to respond; he could wait…
Yu Jingchen didn't expect Nan Zhiyun to forgive him, but... he could never allow Nan Zhiyun to leave him. If it really came to that... he wouldn't be able to resist locking Nan Zhiyun up in this palace forever.
Yu Jingchen reached out to touch Nan Zhiyun, but his hand froze in mid-air before he could even touch her. She… wouldn't like him touching her. The light in Yu Jingchen's eyes dimmed instantly, and he silently withdrew his hand.
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