Yu Jingchen has been spending every day with Nan Zhiyun these days, but he just quietly stays with her every night and doesn't do anything else.
After his rebirth, he stopped giving Nan Zhiyun any more medicine. However, the imperial physician had told him that Nan Zhiyun was physically weak and not really suitable for pregnancy. Moreover, she needed time to adjust and recover after taking the medicine, so he did not recommend having a child now, as it would harm the mother's body.
To ensure Nan Zhiyun's current physical condition, Yu Jingchen has been restraining himself. Medication is no longer an option, but having a child would be bad for her, so he tries his best to avoid these situations.
“Yes…” Nan Zhiyun didn’t know whether she believed Yu Jingchen’s words.
"Yun'er, I'm sorry." Yu Jingchen knew that most of the reason for this was actually because of him.
Nan Zhiyun isn't responding. How can she respond? What could she possibly do?
"Are you resting? Don't think about these things anymore." Yu Jingchen didn't want Nan Zhiyun to keep dwelling on this issue.
"Hmm..." Nan Zhiyun replied, and then tried to stand up, but Yu Jingchen felt her movement and let go of her.
Nan Zhiyun stood up, gave Yu Jingchen a slight bow, and then withdrew. Yu Jingchen watched Nan Zhiyun's departing figure, and his heart ached. He was truly sorry… but he would slowly make amends, and he would have a child with Nan Zhiyun.
After Nan Zhiyun bathed and changed, Yu Jingchen was already ready and waiting for her. Nan Zhiyun glanced at him but didn't say anything. She quietly got into bed, pulled the covers over herself, and closed her eyes.
Yu Jingchen felt helpless looking at Nan Zhiyun. He knew that Nan Zhiyun was unhappy.
Yu Jingchen followed her upstairs, then lay down beside Nan Zhiyun, gently pulling her into his arms. But…
"Your Majesty, I want to rest... I'm not used to this." Nan Zhiyun's reason for refusing was quite casual.
Yu Jingchen's hand froze for a moment. He knew that this was just Nan Zhiyun's excuse. She was angry and didn't want his touch.
Yu Jingchen naturally wouldn't let go of her; instead, he pulled her directly into his arms. Nan Zhiyun didn't expect Yu Jingchen to make such a sudden move, so she bumped into him a little.
"It hurts..." Nan Zhiyun couldn't help but utter a single word.
"I'm sorry, it won't hurt if I rub it." Yu Jingchen gently rubbed Nan Zhiyun's back.
Nan Zhiyun didn't want to have any contact with Yu Jingchen right now, so she quietly pushed him away, and this time Yu Jingchen didn't insist.
Nan Zhiyun turned around, her back to Yu Jingchen, leaving Yu Jingchen somewhat helpless. He couldn't quite describe his feelings; there seemed to be heartache, bitterness, but mostly joy and resignation. Because Nan Zhiyun was now throwing a tantrum in front of him, daring to express her anger.
Yu Jingchen's lips curved slightly, and the next moment... well, he extinguished the candle, plunging the room into complete darkness. Nan Zhiyun's heart skipped a beat. Although she no longer reacted as strongly to the lights going out as before, she was still afraid.
Previously, she would either turn off the lights after she fell asleep or while Yu Jingchen was in his arms, but now... Nan Zhiyun admitted that she was still afraid.
But if she just let it go like this now, wouldn't that be too embarrassing? Besides, she was the one who rejected Yu Jingchen's advances first. Nan Zhiyun held back and didn't go directly to Yu Jingchen's side.
She clenched the blanket tightly, covering half of her head. Yu Jingchen could sense Nan Zhiyun's presence, but he didn't go over to her; instead, he waited for her reaction.
After a while, Nan Zhiyun still hadn't come close, nor had he heard her voice. Yu Jingchen couldn't keep up the act any longer, so he reached out and pulled her into his arms.
"If you're scared, why are you being so brave?" Yu Jingchen hugged her, and Nan Zhiyun didn't break free, but she didn't say anything either.
Yu Jingchen found it a bit strange: "What's wrong?" he asked.
"Your Majesty enjoys frightening me and using tricks on me because Your Majesty knows that I am no match for you, no match for you, and no match for you," Nan Zhiyun said softly.
Yu Jingchen was stunned. Nan Zhiyun's words struck a chord with him. It seemed that everything he was doing now was indeed as she said, all part of his own scheme, and that he had taken advantage of her weakness.
Yu Jingchen wanted to speak, but he felt like he had a fishbone stuck in his throat. He didn't know how to start the conversation or what reason to give to tell her that he didn't mean it.
"I'm sorry..." In the end, he could only apologize. Nan Zhiyun was still carrying him, and she couldn't express how she felt about Yu Jingchen's apology. Perhaps she was just being sensitive, which was why she had such thoughts. But... Yu Jingchen was the emperor, and these things should have been perfectly normal for him. She had no right to say such things.
Nan Zhiyun didn't want to pay attention. She was so tired. Even though she hadn't done anything, she always felt very tired, as if she was carrying a heavy load that made her body ache and made it hard for her to breathe.
Receiving no response from Nan Zhiyun, Yu Jingchen didn't speak again, but he didn't loosen his grip on her arm, knowing that Nan Zhiyun was still afraid. The room became quiet, and the already cold weather felt even colder under the night sky.
Yu Jingchen hadn't fallen asleep and hadn't changed his position until he heard Nan Zhiyun's even breathing. He knew that Nan Zhiyun had fallen asleep.
Yu Jingchen felt conflicted. His self-righteous attempts to make amends and his methods had crumbled after Nan Zhiyun's words.
He realized he hadn't been using the right methods. What he thought was effective might not actually be suitable; some methods could even cause other problems, or even harm. Therefore, he would reflect on his actions and make corrections. He was happy that Nan Zhiyun said this, because it at least meant that Nan Zhiyun was slowly changing. Some things were improving.
The past is gone, the damage is done, so we can't go back to the way things were. The marks left on a broken mirror can never be removed, and the nails on the wall can never be replaced with the original ones.
But he believed that everything would gradually get better. The mirror was left with cracks, but through persistent effort, those cracks could be healed. The healed cracks were like a dark chasm in the heart, but as long as it was slowly filled and carefully maintained, the chasm would become narrower and shallower. Breaking and gluing back together was not the goal; perfection was.
Or, to put it another way, if the mirror breaks, should we just leave it alone? Where does the mirror ultimately go after it's been abandoned?
In a sense, the phrase "broken mirror mended" corresponds to "making up," while its opposite is "spilled water cannot be gathered up again."
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