"What does Your Majesty think?" the Empress Dowager asked in return, then looked at Nan Zhiyun behind her: "Go apply the medicine, lest it get infected."
"Hmm..." Nan Zhiyun was clearly afraid. She wanted to leave, but Yu Jingchen was there...
"Don't be afraid, go apply the medicine first, I'm here." The Empress Dowager patted Nan Zhiyun's head. Such a good girl, she used to be so proud and carefree, but now she has to be careful what others think of. Just thinking about this makes her heart ache.
Nan Zhiyun nodded. She didn't dare to look at Yu Jingchen's current state. An Xin and Qian Xia came over and led Nan Zhiyun into the house.
After Nan Zhiyun had left, the Empress Dowager looked at Yu Jingchen again and asked, "Your Majesty, can you now explain why you came here?"
"Can't I come over if there's nothing wrong?" Yu Jingchen took two steps forward, looked at the potted plants on the table, and reached out to touch them.
"These potted plants haven't been pruned yet," the Empress Dowager said, then handed the pair of scissors beside her to Yu Jingchen.
"I'm afraid Your Majesty is not capable of doing these things," the Empress Dowager said.
Yu Jingchen took the scissors. These were the scissors Nan Zhiyun had just used, and the potted plant was one she hadn't finished cutting.
“The Empress Dowager used to enjoy doing this,” Yu Jingchen said.
"Back then, when I was bored and wanted to pass the time, every time I wanted His Majesty to join me, he would complain that it was something a girl should do." As she spoke, the Empress Dowager began to trim the branches slowly.
"Is it really necessary for the Empress Dowager to keep bringing up the past?" Yu Jingchen didn't seem to like the Empress Dowager talking about those things from the past.
"The past is for reminiscing. Now that the contrast is so great, it's natural to think about the past," the Empress Dowager said calmly.
"Now that I'm old, I can't do anything anymore. I spend my days tending to flowers and playing with birds. When I have nothing to do, I want to talk to someone. When I'm alone, I think about the past. So I always wonder why people change so much as time goes on. Time is like wine, the longer it's brewed, the stronger it becomes. But when it comes to people, time is like measuring emotions, the more you measure them, the weaker they become," the Empress Dowager said while pruning the potted plants.
Yu Jingchen remained silent, his emotions unreadable.
"I used to think I had nothing to regret in my life; some things, once done, are done. But now, looking back, I regret everything. Your Majesty, do you think I've held you back? Do you think my appearance was the first obstacle in your life? Do you think you would be better off now if I hadn't adopted you?" The Empress Dowager put down the scissors in her hand.
Yu Jingchen looked at her: "What exactly does Your Majesty the Empress Dowager want to say?" His eyes were dark, which was truly terrifying.
"I don't want to say anything, I just feel that if Your Majesty truly thinks I am a stumbling block in your life, and truly thinks that Aijia should not have adopted you in the first place, then from this day forward, I will no longer be the Empress Dowager. I will no longer interfere in Your Majesty's affairs." The Empress Dowager stared into Yu Jingchen's eyes without flinching.
"I am the daughter of the renowned General Nan, and the Empress of Yuan, skilled in both literature and martial arts. What can't I get? The late Emperor betrayed me first, so he could only rely on me and the Nan family to survive. Because I have the ability, while he is just an incompetent ruler. He also fears the Nan family, but he can't do anything about it. Even when I stabbed a pregnant concubine to death in front of him, he could only endure it. In just a few days, I was still enjoying boundless glory." The Empress Dowager seemed a little agitated as she spoke of this.
Yu Jingchen just watched her quietly, trying to figure out what she wanted to say.
“I have everything, but it’s not enough. He’s not worthy to be the king. So I decided to raise someone to succeed him. That’s how you came to be. Your Majesty, your idea is indeed correct. At first, when I adopted you, I just wanted a child, a child who could help me succeed the late emperor and become the king. But… I am a person, a woman, a woman with flesh and blood, with a heart and feelings. When I saw you, not even a month old, in my arms, when I saw you, so tiny, holding my finger tightly, my heart melted.”
"I have a clear conscience towards you. I have never wronged you. I raised you with all my heart and taught you how to be a person and how to be a ruler. But I never thought that we would not be mother and son by blood, so you never gave me your true heart. At first, I thought you were just too young to understand, and that you would become sensible as you grew up. But as you grew older, you also drifted further and further away from me." The Empress Dowager seemed to have spoken all her innermost thoughts.
“Sometimes I really wonder, was I truly too cruel, too cold-hearted? Is that why I raised you to be the way you are now? Your Majesty, tell me, where exactly did I go wrong with you? Should I really not have raised you?” The Empress Dowager approached Yu Jingchen, her eyes already red, but she wouldn't cry, absolutely wouldn't cry…
Yu Jingchen looked at her for a long time before finally speaking: "So you are the Empress Dowager now, and you will always be the Empress Dowager."
"Heh...hehe" The Empress Dowager suddenly laughed. She turned around, tilted her head back, and wiped away the tears that had accidentally spilled from the corners of her eyes. Why couldn't she hold back her tears?
“Your Majesty, listen to this, listen to your own words, how cold they are…” After saying this, she turned back to look at Yu Jingchen: “Is this position all I want? How noble and glorious am I? Even if I were not the Empress Dowager, who would dare to give me a hard time? I will always be the one who rules others, never the other way around. Even without you, as long as I want, I will still be the most noble person in the world.”
"I've elevated you to such a high position, yet it has diminished my own status. It's made me live a miserable life, it's truly not worth it... You think all I wanted was this status, but your status was given to you by me. I assure you, if it weren't for me, no matter who adopted you, you wouldn't be where you are now, much less in this position!" The Empress Dowager's voice suddenly rose.
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