conversation
After much hesitation, Shi Shi decided to return to their wedding home, the small villa that she and Qin Yichuan rarely visited now—the house she had meticulously designed and decorated. However, he later disliked the house as lacking in taste and rarely returned. She lived a free and comfortable life in the small villa all by herself.
Later, their separate housing arrangements were discovered by the elders, and they were both summoned back to the Qin family's villa. She had lived there ever since, while Qin Yichuan, always using the excuse of being busy with work, spent most of his time alone in an apartment near his office, rarely returning. This left her alone in the old house, a deserted, empty, and sparsely populated place. At first, she kept Grandma Qin company, which gave her something to do. On the occasional necessary meetings, the two of them worked well together, like a perfect model couple.
Day after day, she lived such a lonely life until Grandma Qin passed away, which made her start to think about finding something to do.
But at this time, she had been out of touch with society for too long.
So, later on, she began to try to break into the upper-class circle that excluded her.
After all, this was the task she was supposed to complete. Due to her pride in her youth, when she first married into the Qin family, she disdained to associate with this group of vain women who were constantly comparing themselves with others.
In fact, she was almost successful, but it suddenly ended in such a tragic way.
She finally felt discouraged.
Forget it, this world doesn’t belong to her, so why force yourself?
"Where have you been? Why aren't you in the hospital?" As soon as I picked up the phone, I heard the other party asking anxiously.
"I don't want to be hospitalized anymore. It's uncomfortable staying there." She said softly.
The man seemed surprised by her unusually calm manner of speaking. Indeed, she had been a bit hysterical these days. But he was unusually cooperative, not talking back. After all, he was a spoiled young master.
"Where are you now?" The person on the other side paused before asking.
"Where else can I go?"
"XX villa?"
"Um."
"I'm coming over now."
"It's so late, don't you go to bed early?"
Before she could finish, Qin Yichuan hung up the phone first.
After hanging up the phone and sitting alone in the empty big house, Shi Shi suddenly felt frighteningly lonely.
This reminded her of her own life before, when she lived in a small rented house, yet her life was simple and happy. She was also alone, but she never felt afraid.
Now I stay in this house. Although all the decoration and furnishings in the house were carefully selected by myself, I no longer have the mood I had back then. That kind of simple and pure happiness seems to never appear again.
She started cleaning when she had nothing to do. Even though she didn't live there before, she still hired a part-time cleaner to come and clean once a week. But later, after the first part-time cleaner resigned, she no longer had the idea of hiring another one.
After cleaning the room where she would sleep today, this was the room she used to live in, a room that belonged to her alone.
That's right, they have been sleeping in separate rooms since the first day of their marriage.
She walked out of the room, her eyes glancing at the study on the other side of the corridor, as if she remembered something, and walked towards the study.
Without exception, although everything in the study was neatly arranged, it was inevitably covered in dust. She followed her memory and walked to the place where she had placed the things, but she did not see that thing.
So she began to search, but she searched everywhere in the study and couldn't find what she wanted.
It's strange. She clearly put it here, so how come she can't find it?
The divorce agreement she put away was only missing her signature.
She was a little frustrated and slowly stood up. She looked at the clock on the wall and saw that the hospital was about 20 minutes away.
She thought that while she had time, she would go to the nearest convenience store to buy some toiletries. After all, the supplies she had previously stockpiled had been gone for so long and probably wouldn't be usable.
It took some time, about half an hour, before she returned to the villa. Seeing the familiar car parked in front, she looked at it for a few seconds before opening the door and going in.
As soon as I entered, I saw Qin Yichuan who came down after hearing the noise, and his face seemed a little anxious.
"What's going on in the study?" Qin Yichuan seemed relieved when he saw her, and then asked in confusion.
"I messed it up, I'm sorry, I'll fix it." Shi Shi said as she suddenly realized what he was talking about.
"That's not what I meant. Never mind."
"By the way, is there anything you want to talk to me about?" Shi Shi poured him a glass of water and then looked at him and asked.
"Why did you suddenly want to come back here?"
"I haven't been back for a long time, and this is my home. Isn't it my duty to come back?" She said this, but she was wondering in her heart where the agreement had gone.
"Come back with me. This place hasn't been cleaned up yet. It's not suitable for living."
"I've already cleaned and aired the bedroom. That's all for today. I'll have someone come clean it tomorrow." She walked around him and sat on the sofa, which she had also roughly wiped. Suddenly, she noticed something and looked up at him. "You seem to have lost a lot of weight."
"Well, I've been a bit busy these days." He said a little unnaturally.
Then there was a silence between the two of them, and they didn't know what to say. It was funny to say, because they used to argue and quarrel when they were together, but now they have calmed down, but they don't know what to do.
After that, the days went on like this, day after day, peaceful and without any disturbances.
During this period, Qin Yichuan also returned to live in this house.
That day, the two were preparing dinner in the kitchen. There was silence between them, no dialogue.
"Shi Shi, can we start over?" Qin Yichuan suddenly said this while eating, and looked at Shi Shi to see her expression and reaction.
"What are you talking about?" Shi Shi subconsciously asked, suspecting she had misheard. "How do we start over?"
How could she start over? She was so exhausted now, how could she have the energy to start over?
If she had gone to the hospital for a check-up when she felt unwell, perhaps she would not have suffered this pain.
If, during their honeymoon, one of them had been able to bow their head when the two of them were arguing, perhaps she would not have stubbornly completed the trip alone.
If she had not forced him, and herself, to marry him, perhaps she would have met someone else.
If she hadn't been so presumptuous and tried to break into other people's world, perhaps she could be living a good life alone now.
If, there are many ifs, but there is no chance to start over.
How to start over?
If I start over, what will happen to everything before?
"I'm done eating. You wash the dishes today."
Until the end, she didn't answer him, and the topic ended there.
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