Chapter 1 Reborn and Returning, I Don't Want to Warm Up a Heart That Can't Be Warmed Anymore
Chapter One: Reborn and Returning, I Don't Want to Warm Up a Heart That Can't Be Warmed Anymore
Su Su suddenly opened her eyes, as if waking from a nightmare. She looked around blankly, her fingertips unconsciously gripping the mattress beneath her.
Is this... the underworld?
But the familiar carved bedposts, the worn brocade curtains, and the lingering musty smell in the air clearly identified her as the side hall of Changxin Palace where she had lived after being demoted to a low-ranking concubine. She sat up in a daze, and a maid rushed to her side, tearfully grabbing her sleeve: "My lady! You're finally awake!"
Chrysanthemums?
Su Su's pupils constricted sharply—this girl who had desperately protected her and was killed was now standing right in front of her, crying! She trembled and pinched her thigh; the sharp pain pierced her heart, so real it was suffocating.
She...reincarnated?!
Was it Zhuangzi's dream of a butterfly, or was it a blessing from heaven that truly granted her this chance to start over?
She hugged Qiuju tightly, tears welling up in her eyes. In her past life, when this girl breathed her last, her body was just as cold.
"Please don't cry, Your Highness..." Qiuju hurriedly wiped away her tears. "It's all Consort Zhuang's fault for pushing her! If it weren't for that fall, you would have gone to the Imperial Study to plead with the Emperor long ago..."
Seeing Su Su's tears, Qiu Ju assumed she was heartbroken over her demotion and felt a pang of sorrow herself. She then comforted her, saying, "There's plenty of time. Perhaps His Majesty will soften his heart in a few days. If it weren't for Consort Zhuang's machinations, Your Highness could have explained the matter of the Prince of Ning's sudden death to His Majesty..."
Qiu Ju's words unleashed a flood of memories...
As Su Su gazed at the flickering candlelight outside the window, she vaguely saw her stubborn self from her past life—as the Empress Dowager's most beloved niece, she was groomed to be the future Empress Dowager from a young age, yet she was infatuated with the aloof young emperor under the plum tree.
Back then, Li Qianche always loved to stand alone under the plum tree, his robes as white as snow, his brows etched with an unyielding frost. Only she dared to tug at his sleeve, from the little maid who chased after him to feed him osmanthus cakes, to the imperial concubine who openly vied for his favor. She once thought that as long as she was passionate enough, she could eventually melt the ice in his eyes.
Others cursed her for being arrogant because of his favor, and hated her for bullying others by relying on her power, but who understood? She was just a fool, greedy for his hot, low breaths when he was aroused, for the broken words he uttered when he was lost in passion, and even more delusional in wanting to be an ordinary husband and wife with him in this deep palace.
The Empress Dowager was not the Emperor's biological mother. During the reign of the late Emperor, his heart belonged only to the Empress Yuan. The Emperor was the Empress Yuan's legitimate son, but unfortunately, she died young. The late Emperor then entrusted him to the care of his then-Consort, now the Empress Dowager Su Shangci. For more than a decade, the Empress Dowager took meticulous care of him.
On the surface, the Emperor and Empress Dowager appeared to be a loving and filial couple, but beneath the surface, turbulent undercurrents were brewing. The Empress Dowager's long-standing interference in politics and her overstepping of boundaries had long since angered the Emperor. As for her own niece, whom the Empress Dowager had personally groomed, she was likely nothing more than a pawn in the Emperor's game of power.
Upon her coming-of-age ceremony, she was bestowed the title of Imperial Concubine. The warmth of his fingertips tracing her neck was more scorching than the red candles in the Hall of Joy. But once the passion subsided, that warmth receded like the tide, and he reverted to his cold, jade-carved emperor persona. Countless beauties filled the harem, yet he treated them all with equal indifference, while she mistakenly took that fleeting tenderness for exclusive favor.
From then on, whenever he glanced at any of the concubines, she would become extremely jealous, smashing cups and making a scene. Relying on the Empress Dowager's support, she acted arrogantly in the palace. The concubines dared not speak out against her anger, and the Empress Dowager simply pretended not to see it.
In her quest for the Emperor's favor, she committed numerous transgressions. Now, the sudden death of Prince Ning's youngest son has thrust her into the eye of the storm—the entire palace suspects she was the one who secretly poisoned him.
This incident stemmed from the winter solstice banquet a few days prior. The Empress Dowager, wanting Su Su to gain valuable experience, entrusted her with the entire event. The banquet initially went smoothly, and Su Su, in her delight, drank a few extra cups. While slightly tipsy, a palace maid accidentally knocked over a wine cup, soaking her dress. Seeing Su Su's dazed expression, the Empress Dowager ordered Qiu Ju to help her to a side hall to change.
After changing their clothes, the Prince of Ning and his wife rushed into the hall, pounding the ground and wailing, claiming that their youngest son had inexplicably died while resting in a side hall.
In an instant, the entire hall erupted in uproar. The cries of Prince Ning and his wife were like thunderclaps, shattering the joy of the banquet. The Empress Dowager and the Emperor were furious and immediately ordered a thorough investigation. That night, the palace lanterns glowed blood-red, and the sound of flogging echoed. The final discovery, however, plunged Su Su into an icy abyss—she was the only one who had entered and exited the side hall.
She tried her best to defend herself, but the emperor's gaze was unfathomable, like a dull knife slowly eroding her dignity. The side hall was empty; Qiuju had gone to fetch a change of clothes, and no one could testify for her.
Rumors spread like wildfire, instantly devouring her remaining innocence. During her previous argument with Zhuang Shuning, she had recklessly threatened to teach her a lesson, which had now become her death warrant. The infant child who died was none other than the son of Zhuang Shuning's younger sister, Zhuang Shuran, and the Prince of Ning.
Everyone in the imperial court knew about the arrogant and domineering Consort Su, and that's how the charge of killing her son was pinned on her.
In her previous life, when Su Su was demoted to a low-ranking concubine, she caused a huge uproar in the palace. When the Empress Dowager visited her for the last time, she stood outside the palace gate and coldly said "muddled," even avoiding Su Su's attempts to tug at her clothes.
Only now did she understand that the Empress Dowager didn't despise this good-for-nothing niece, but rather lamented that the sharp blade she had painstakingly cultivated for over a decade had ultimately harmed the royal bloodline. Even though the Empress Dowager and the Emperor were secretly vying for power, the royal bloodline was her bottom line. In her previous life, she hadn't even bothered to visit Su Su when she died in the cold palace, which meant she truly despised her.
Before the pearls on her phoenix crown had even warmed, the Imperial Concubine's golden book had turned into a straw mat in the cold palace. Less than a year after entering the palace, she plummeted from the heights to the depths of despair, and by the following spring, when the chill of winter was still in the air, she couldn't even afford a simple coffin. If the historians were to record this, they would surely become a laughingstock—in the three hundred years of the imperial harem, no concubine has ever died a shorter life than her.
At this moment, Li Qianche must be convinced that she murdered the young son of Prince Ning. Who told her to wear the word "spoiled" on her face? It was common for her to spill teacups in front of the emperor, and it was as commonplace for her to make concubines kneel as punishment. She even dared to smash the jade bracelet bestowed by the emperor in front of him.
Her infamy spread faster than the rumors in the palace. When the Prince of Ning died suddenly, the memorials submitted by the court officials piled up higher than the documents on her desk, each word denouncing her as a viper and unworthy of being a Noble Consort.
On the day she received the imperial decree, Su Su trembled with anger, heartbroken that even His Majesty did not believe her. She tore off her hairpin and cried as she tried to storm into the imperial study, only to bump into Zhuang Shuning in the corridor. Seeing her fall from grace, the vicious woman immediately tore at Su Su's hair and wailed, "You vile woman! Give me back my nephew's life!" In the struggle, Su Su was violently shoved, and the back of her head hit the bluestone slab hard. When she woke up again, she had been reborn.
In her previous life, during the first month of confinement after being demoted, Su Su counted the frost flowers on the windowpanes, watching them slowly melt into watermarks. Palace maids whispered that His Majesty had brought back a beauty from his southwestern tour; their voices were low, yet they pierced her heart like needles. When the day of her release arrived, the entire palace was abuzz with the news—Mu Hanyan, a woman from Jiangnan whose family background was unclear, had been directly bestowed the title of Consort Wan.
From then on, she spent her days in tears, sitting in despair, unable to accept that he not only misunderstood her but also had someone else in his heart. After the ban was lifted, she could hear the palace servants gossiping every day about how much the emperor doted on Consort Wan, and how gifts were sent to Shuning Palace like a flowing stream.
In her past life, Su Su was resentful and jealous, and became increasingly domineering. Whenever they met, she would hurl insults at her, hating that she had taken Li Qianche away. Mu Hanyan, however, always seemed indifferent, otherworldly, as if everything was unrelated to her.
Later, at the plum blossom viewing banquet, Mu Hanyan suddenly miscarried. Su Su was shocked to learn that Mu Hanyan was pregnant. Then she heard Zhuang Shuning accuse her of plotting to harm the imperial heir and even found "evidence" in Mu Hanyan's palace. The emperor was furious, and the empress dowager was completely disappointed in her—plotting to harm the imperial heir had crossed her bottom line. She immediately imprisoned Mu Hanyan in the cold palace, forbidding her from leaving.
Later, on that bitterly cold winter day, Zhuang Shuning arrived through the snow, carrying an imperial edict, claiming that the Emperor had sentenced her to death and ordered her to drink poison immediately. Su Su was incredulous and wanted to see the Emperor, but Zhuang Shuning sneered that her father and brothers had colluded with foreign enemies, and the Emperor wanted to get rid of them as soon as possible. He did not want to see her again and forcibly forced her to drink the poison.
The snow was as hard as iron, and the cold was bone-chilling. The poison burned in her lungs, and every breath felt like a knife cutting through her. As her consciousness faded, she heard the hurried footsteps of the Emperor and Consort Wan in the distance—they must be coming to confirm her death so they could avenge their child's death! Su Su lay on her back in the snow, letting the snowflakes cover her face.
This life has been as absurd as a play. I burned my heart out for him, my clothes were soaked with tears, my pride was broken, and my soul was lost... It was truly not worth it, not worth it at all.
Now, fortunate enough to be reborn, given a second life by heaven, she never wants to perish like a shooting star again. During those years of loving Li Qianche, she gave her all, yet she could never warm his icy heart, never compare to the love for Mu Hanyan in his heart.
She no longer wanted to compete for favor in this life; she only wished to live a peaceful life. No amount of favor or love could compare to a hot meal in her bowl and the safety of the person beside her.
She stopped trying to warm that heart that she couldn't warm. Now she understood that perhaps he had never truly loved her from the beginning; it was all just him playing along, or perhaps she had been deluding herself. Now that she had seen through it all, she was determined never to do those foolish things to win his favor again.
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