Chapter 44 Truth and Honesty
Chapter Forty-Four: Truth and Honesty
It's the fifteenth again, the day when all the concubines in the palace go to Cining Palace to pay their respects to the Empress Dowager.
Consort Zhuang and Noble Lady Song have been defeated and banished to the Cold Palace; Consort Wan, Mu Hanyan, has been exempted from the morning and evening greetings under the pretext of taking care of her pregnancy. Now, apart from Consort Su Su sitting at the head of the table, there are only five other concubines sitting below, making the scene much quieter than before when the hall was full of people.
The Empress Dowager was still dressed in her elegant palace attire. Her phoenix eyes slowly swept over everyone, finally landing on Su Su for a moment before she slowly spoke, still on the same old topic—to have more children and continue the imperial lineage.
Upon hearing this, the concubines below, who had not received the emperor's favor for a long time, suddenly seemed to have found an outlet for their grievances. They poured out their grievances one after another, their words inevitably tinged with bitterness.
"Your Majesty, it is not that we have not done our best, but it is simply that... it is rare for us to see His Majesty." A bolder noblewoman spoke first.
"Yes, I've heard that the Noble Consort often accompanies His Majesty in the Imperial Study, which suggests she is deeply favored by him. We, your humble servants, are rather foolish, and have tried to emulate Her Majesty by carefully preparing snacks or nourishing medicinal meals every day, hoping to deliver them to His Majesty as a token of our affection. But... but each time we can't even get into the palace gates before Eunuch Shen sends us back." Another concubine continued, her gaze seemingly glancing unintentionally at Su Su at the head of the table.
Su Su sat upright, maintaining a polite smile, but her ears involuntarily flushed slightly. She was inwardly furious, cursing Li Qianche a thousand times over. It was all because of his unrestrained behavior in the Imperial Study some time ago that the whole palace knew, and now it had become evidence of her monopolizing the Emperor's favor and bewitching him, making her the target of everyone's criticism.
The Empress Dowager listened to the cacophony of complaints below, her brows furrowing slightly. She raised her hand and gently pressed her temple, her tone carrying an undeniable authority: "Alright."
The hall fell silent instantly.
The Empress Dowager glanced at everyone and said calmly, "The Consort assists in managing the six palaces and arranges the order of the emperor's bedchamber according to palace rules, without any favoritism. If you cannot please the emperor and cannot serve him, it is because you are incompetent. Instead of complaining here, you should reflect on why the emperor is unwilling to summon you. Think about how to improve yourselves and cater to the emperor's preferences, that is the right thing to do."
After a few more admonitions, all the concubines lowered their heads, not daring to say another word. The Empress Dowager then gave a few more admonitions before showing signs of fatigue. She waved her hand to dismiss everyone, leaving only Su Su behind.
"Susu, help me inside to rest." The Empress Dowager extended her hand.
Su Su followed her instructions and carefully helped the Empress Dowager into the inner hall. As usual, the Empress Dowager pointed to a spot beside the soft couch: "Sit down."
Su Su thanked the Empress Dowager and sat down sideways. The Empress Dowager took her hand, placed it in her palm, and patted it gently. Her gaze was sharp yet tinged with kindness: "Su Su, tell your aunt the truth. What happened a few days ago when the Emperor stormed out of your Yongshou Palace several times in a huff? That day in the Imperial Study... I thought you two had reconciled. Are you still holding a grudge against him because of your previous demotion?"
Su Su knew that the Empress Dowager must have spies in Yongshou Palace, so she was not surprised by the question. She lowered her eyes and replied respectfully, "Aunt, you are wise. I dare not presume."
"Dare not?" The Empress Dowager raised an eyebrow slightly, her tone deep. "Susu, the Emperor does have feelings for you." She paused, looking at Susu's surprised eyes that suddenly appeared, and slowly said, "Do you really think that because you were so suspicious of the Prince of Ning's heir that day, the Emperor only demoted you to a low-ranking concubine because he was concerned about me, the Empress Dowager?"
Su Su instinctively retorted, "At the time... there was no concrete evidence to prove that it was my niece who did it. But Consort Song, she has witnesses..."
The Empress Dowager chuckled and interrupted her: "Silly child, even without concrete evidence, given the suspicion against you at the time, you should have been interrogated at the Imperial Clan Court, not just confined to Changxin Palace. If the Emperor doesn't care about you, no matter how many kind words I say, it will be useless. He is merely using this opportunity to punish you, but he has left you plenty of room to maneuver."
Su Su fell silent. She had been demoted to a lower-ranking concubine, and although Changxin Palace was remote, it was indeed far superior to places like the Imperial Clan Court. She had never thought about this point deeply.
Seeing that her expression softened, the Empress Dowager continued with even more shocking words: "And do you remember the day you left the palace? When I went to see the Emperor, he hadn't slept well for several days because of the war in the southwest and the case of the Prince of Ning's son. I only mentioned that you were about to leave the palace, and he immediately panicked. He didn't even care that I was still in front of him, and immediately got up and ran to order the palace gates to be sealed!"
Su Su's heart skipped a beat, and she whispered, "That day... wasn't it because we were going to arrest the remnants of the Ning Prince's case?"
The Empress Dowager shook her head, her gaze deep: "Why would the Emperor himself need to personally go to the palace gates to issue an order for a mere remnant? He was just anxious to confirm whether you had really left. I suspect that if you had actually left that palace gate, he would have sent someone to bring you back immediately."
Su Su looked up in astonishment, staring blankly at the Empress Dowager. The palace gates were sealed off… all for her sake? She knew nothing of this, and had never dared to consider it. The underlying reasons, like a boulder thrown into a lake, stirred up a storm in her heart. She opened her mouth, but found herself unable to utter a single word.
The Empress Dowager saw her shock, then patted her hand and said earnestly, "Let me tell you about when I entered the palace in my youth. I understood then that the late Emperor only cared about the Empress. Therefore, I never competed for that illusory favor. What mattered was establishing myself with 'virtue' and gradually rising to the position of Empress. I didn't care where the late Emperor's heart lay; what I cared about was the glory of the Su family and the power in my hands. The Su family needed me in the past, and they need you now as well."
She stared at Su Su, her tone turning serious: "Think it over carefully. The most important thing right now is to give birth to a prince as soon as possible. Consort Wan is already pregnant. If she gives birth to a prince first, the position of Empress... I'm afraid you'll never have it in this lifetime."
Sitting in the sedan chair returning to Yongshou Palace, Su Su was in turmoil. Every word the Empress Dowager spoke was like a pebble thrown into a deep pool, stirring up ripples in her mind that echoed repeatedly and could not be calmed.
However, there was one thing that ultimately distinguished her from the Empress Dowager. The Empress Dowager sought power and family glory, while she, from beginning to end, sought only sincerity and the safety of her family. Because of this, the subtle clues she had overlooked in her passionate entanglement, the "truths" she had once firmly believed in, had all become blurred.
She couldn't believe it. If the Empress Dowager's hint was true, wouldn't all her past grievances have been a joke? Yet she couldn't completely deny it. A faint flame, one that even she herself feared, flickered in her already cold and lifeless heart.
He returned to Yongshou Palace in a daze. He had just sat down in the hall and picked up the hot tea that Chunlan had served him to drink when he heard an announcement from outside: "The Emperor has arrived—"
Su Su hurriedly put down her teacup, stood up, and bowed. Li Qianche strode in, his gaze falling directly on her, his voice calm but carrying a hint of something different from usual: "All of you, step back."
The palace servants quietly withdrew, leaving only the two of them in the hall. Su Su, unaware of his intentions, could only stand silently with her head bowed.
Li Qianche walked up to her, but instead of his usual imposing manner, he reached out and gently took her hand. His palm was warm, and his gesture carried a rare gentleness and solemnity.
“Susu,” he began, his voice low, “I grew up in the palace, and no one taught me how to love someone, nor how to fully trust the people around me.”
Su Su felt a slight tremor in her heart and looked up at him.
He continued, his gaze candid: "Mu Hanyan is Pei Xuan's wife. Before Pei Xuan left, he sensed unusual activity in the army and the capital, fearing someone might harm him, and Mu Hanyan was his weakness. So he entrusted Mu Hanyan to me, begging me to protect her. I brought her into the palace and granted her the title of concubine, both for her protection and to reassure Pei Xuan. The child in her womb is Pei Xuan's flesh and blood."
Su Su was completely stunned, her eyes wide with shock. Mu Hanyan... was that really what happened? Then what about the resentment, all the knots in her heart, and all the torment she had suffered in her past life because of jealousy? She felt her mind was in complete chaos, almost unable to think.
Looking at her shocked expression, Li Qianche said with a hint of self-reflection, "I didn't tell you before because I felt it was a matter of great importance, concerning Pei Xuan's life and the stability of the border, and the fewer people who knew, the better; secondly... I also thought you would understand in the future, and there was no need to say more. But yesterday, Consort Wan reminded me that perhaps it is precisely because I have never truly given you my trust that you cannot trust and rely on me as wholeheartedly as before."
He paused, gently stroking the back of her hand with his fingertips, his gaze focused and earnest: "I have reflected for a long time. Susu, since I ascended the throne, only you and I have had the de facto marriage, there has never been anyone else. Today I assure you that from now on, there is nothing I cannot tell you. You can trust me as before."
This series of confessions and promises was incredibly informative, almost shattering all of Su Su's psychological defenses. She stared at him blankly, unsure how to respond.
Li Qianche waited for a moment, but received no reply. Seeing that she seemed lost in thought, he couldn't help but reach out and gently pinch her cheek, his tone carrying a hint of intimacy and helplessness that he himself didn't realize: "What? Are you silly?"
Su Su snapped back to her senses, her cheeks slightly warm from his pinch. She subconsciously tilted her head, her voice still a little unsteady: "Your Majesty... I'm just a little slow to react."
“It’s alright,” Li Qianche looked at her, his tone gentler and firmer than ever before. “Susu, whatever you want to do in the future, as long as I can do it, I will try my best to satisfy you. You can… completely trust me.”
He looked at her, as if waiting for a response.
However, after the initial shock, the grievances and resentment that had been forcibly suppressed quietly sprouted like vines finding a crack.
She didn't immediately respond to his promise. Instead, she raised her eyes, her autumn-water-like gaze meeting his directly. With a barely perceptible tremor in her voice, she softly questioned, "Since Your Majesty says Su Su is so important, then why... why, when Consort Zhuang targeted me, spoke harshly to me, and even framed me, did Your Majesty... never truly say a word for me? You merely watched in silence, coldly observing. If I am so important, why, when I need help the most, do I always receive only your indifference and silence?"
This question had been buried in her heart for far too long, spanning two lifetimes, and she finally asked it at this moment.
Upon hearing this, Li Qianche's body stiffened almost imperceptibly. Looking into the light in her eyes, a mixture of pain and stubbornness, he felt a pang of regret and remorse. He remained silent for a moment, then finally spoke frankly, his voice low and filled with self-reproach:
“It was my fault,” he admitted. “Back then… I saw that every time you saw me, you either ignored me or were so polite and respectful, as if you were keeping me at arm’s length. In my heart… I longed for you to be like before, to whine to me when you were wronged, to rely on me, to cry and ask me for help… I was waiting for you to come to me on your own. But you didn’t, not even once.”
He raised his hand and gently stroked her cheek, his gaze heavy with sorrow yet resolute: "Now I understand. It was my past actions that pushed you away, eroding your trust and expectations. I was arrogant, making you prefer to bear it all alone rather than bow your head to me again. Susu, I was wrong."
He took a deep breath and pulled her into his arms again. This time, the embrace was filled with unwavering strength and a promise: "I assure you, from this day forward, I will never allow anyone to bully you again. I will protect you, and protect you clearly and unequivocally."
Hearing his confession, which was no longer about the lofty schemes of an emperor but rather filled with regret and honesty, the string of resentment and grievance that had been taut for so long in Su Su's heart seemed to finally be plucked, emitting a long and relieved tremor.
That deeply buried expectation, which she herself was unwilling to admit, seemed to have found its place at this moment.
She didn't immediately respond to his embrace, but instead raised her eyes to look into his uncertain gaze. Her voice was soft, yet trembled slightly: "What Your Majesty said... is it true?"
He tightened his arms around her, as if to convey his determination through this action, his tone more solemn and clear than ever before: "Really, Susu, I promise you."
He didn't receive a similarly warm embrace in return, but the previously stiff body in his arms, the subtle, carefully maintained distance, quietly relaxed after he made his promise. She no longer resisted his embrace, but let herself lean against his chest, as if she had shed a heavy layer of armor, revealing her inner weariness and a hint of vulnerable dependence.
This was already a huge step forward. He knew she needed time to process and observe, and he could wait. He no longer demanded that she give the same response immediately. He simply rested his chin gently on the top of her head, feeling this hard-won intimacy that was no longer filled with resistance.
He smiled slightly, a smile that conveyed the preciousness of something lost and found, and boundless patience.
Su Su leaned against him quietly, listening to his steady and powerful heartbeat, her nose filled with the refreshing ambergris scent emanating from him.
The Empress Dowager's words, his honesty and assurances today, swirled in her mind like fragments. She needed time to piece these fragments together, to discern, and to believe. For now... let it be.
The flickering candlelight inside the hall cast the silhouettes of the two embracing figures onto the wall, weaving together a long-lost, slightly awkward yet ultimately thawed, tender scene.
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