"It's her life to give birth to, don't you want to have more children for the adults?"
Shu Yao didn't answer aloud, but she already knew the answer in her heart: she didn't want to...
Just as she was about to change the subject, before she could even speak, Huo Jingsha, his face frosty, walked into the room. His sharp gaze fixed on Shu Yao, he said angrily, "Don't use your fallacies to poison Xiao Bao's mind. He is my son."
These words are truly hurtful. They imply that Xiao Bao is "his" son, not "hers." She endured ten months of pregnancy and went through excruciating pain to give birth to the child. As a first-time mother, she needed to spend even more energy and time learning how to take care of Xiao Bao. But in his eyes, the son belongs only to him. Does that mean she, as his mother, is dispensable and insignificant?
But she didn't argue. She turned her head, smiled, ruffled Xiao Bao's hair, and said softly to the wet nurse, "Nanny, take the young master downstairs for a bath. He's sweating a lot from playing around."
The wet nurse was a little embarrassed. As she took the child, she cautiously asked, "Tonight, shall we bring the young master to you, or will he sleep with me?"
Shu Yao lowered her eyes and thought for a moment before saying, "From now on, you don't need to bring him to me at night. He can sleep in his own yard. He needs to start learning not to rely on his mother too much."
These words plunged Huo Jingsha into panic once again.
Lately, things have been like this. His mood is unpredictable. Sometimes he feels good that she can be happy like before, but other times he feels that she seems to be getting further and further away from him. She no longer chats with him like before, she almost never eats at the same table with him, and she no longer takes the initiative to kiss or hug him.
Every night when he held her as she fell asleep, he would comfort himself, "Look... isn't she still sleeping peacefully beside me? And with so many people watching over her, she can't run away." But sometimes, such comfort was far from enough. He felt that she was ready to disappear from his sight at any moment, just like that time before, when he had gone to great lengths to find her.
The wet nurse passed by him, and he took his son and held him for a while, not forgetting to instruct, "Bring the young master here again tonight." Only then did he return the baby to his mother.
After the wet nurse left with the child, he pulled Shu Yao into his arms, his expression a mixture of anger and confusion, and asked painfully, "What do you mean? What do you mean by telling my son to become a monk? What do you mean by telling Aunt Pei to be fertile? I did take her as a concubine, but did I ever say I wanted her to have children?"
Shu Yao didn't want to argue with him and was too lazy to waste a single word. She just smiled lightly and brightly, "You believe whatever I say? Xiao Bao is also my son." She deliberately emphasized the sentence, "Would I let him become a monk? As for whether you and Aunt Pei have children, that's your private matter and has nothing to do with me. You don't need to tell me."
"You Shuyao, I've spoiled you rotten!" Huo Jingsha disliked her way of speaking. In his entire life, she was the only one he had ever had a proper intimate relationship with, and yet she still wanted him to have children with other women. This was simply intolerable!
She met his gaze without flinching, showing no fear or hesitation. She even arrogantly raised her chin, defiantly saying, "You don't have to spoil me, like you do Mingxia." After all, it wasn't like she hadn't been treated this way before.
"you……"
Oh no! Huo Jingsha felt a wave of dizziness wash over her, almost fainting from anger. He, the dignified Commander of the Embroidered Uniform Guard, hadn't died under the enemy's spears and swords, yet he nearly died of anger in his own room because of his wife—how utterly pathetic!
"My lord, there's no need to be angry. After being together for so long, you should know my temperament. I'm just a straightforward person and I don't like pretense or flattery. If you like to compromise, I'll learn from you."
"My lord, my lord! Look at how she keeps calling him 'my lord' all the time, she doesn't even call him 'husband' anymore, it's infuriating!"
"Hmph, what else do you need to learn? When we first got married, weren't you quite 'accommodating'? No matter how late it was, you would wait for me to come home every day before we ate and went to bed together." He really missed that time. Now, he wished she could be a little foolish, a little clumsy, and rely on him a little more.
"Times have changed. How can just that one thing be enough for me now? I still have a lot to learn, such as learning to work with others, learning to love myself more, learning to get used to eating and sleeping alone, and learning not to be jealous, to be kind and peaceful, and to live a peaceful life." She wasn't angry; she was simply clearly stating her true feelings.
It means that she will no longer give herself to him wholeheartedly; he will give her half of a husband, and she will be his half of a wife.
His heart clenched, the spasmodic pain almost making him lose all strength in his limbs. A bitter taste spread between his lips and teeth, and an uncontrollable fear coursed through his blood. He frowned, his hands clenched into fists, unsure whether to spank her or simply punch himself.
That damned Qi! He'd give him a chance to tear him to pieces. If he'd known he'd resort to such underhanded tactics, he should have destroyed that murderous organization's hideout. But he couldn't bear to see her heartbroken. Shu Yao said that was, after all, the place she'd grown up in, and they shouldn't be driven to extinction, so he'd tolerated their continued existence. This gave Qi the opportunity to exploit the situation, and the seeds of suspicion were sown early on. Therefore, she didn't trust him at all, didn't trust that he wouldn't fall in love with another woman. As for Wen Pei, it was all out of necessity.
He gripped her hand tightly and said angrily, "How many times do I have to tell you before you listen? No matter what Qi tells you, it doesn't represent my true thoughts. Don't take it all at face value."
She gazed at him intently for a moment before nodding and smiling, "That's right, just like you said, I should trust my own eyes more. But didn't you already order the leader to send him to the frontier on a mission? He can't even contact me anymore, so what are you worried about? He probably won't be back for a year or two. Don't worry, he won't be able to tell me any inside stories anymore, and make me hate you because of it. My lord, I will study hard and become the kind of wife you want."
Without heart, without emotion, without thoughts, there is no jealousy, no hatred. If the heart is restless, one cannot live a peaceful life. Aren't all the noble ladies in those grand mansions learning to protect themselves in this way? When one's heart is strong, one can keep one's husband's words and actions out of one's heart, thus maintaining a calm mind and not being harmed.
Damn it! Huo Jingsha cursed inwardly. It must have been Xu Chang, that big mouth, who told her about this. She'd see how he punished him tomorrow! But none of that mattered now. Shu Yao's smile was full of hypocrisy and aloofness. She was wearing a mask in front of him. Every word she said was what he wanted to hear and what he hoped she would do, but it wasn't what she truly wanted to say or do.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
