Chapter 71
Taking advantage of the precious moment when Zhuohua finally gave up fiddling with the pot, announced that "dinner might need some off-site support," and went to wash up, Shuangling scrambled to a deserted corner of the yard. It furtively looked around, making sure no cameras were pointed at it, and its tiny green eyes instantly filled with glistening tears (from the cooking fumes).
With its tiny paws, it deftly rummaged through the downy fur and pulled out a miniature communication jade talisman, smaller than a grain of rice and shimmering with a faint light! This thing was a cross-realm gadget that it had crafted from the shed feathers of Lu Xiao's mount, the crane, back in the God Realm. Unexpectedly, it came in handy in the mortal world.
The jade talisman was activated, and a faint white light flashed.
A few seconds later, Lu Xiao's magnetic voice, tinged with laughter, came from the jade talisman. The background noise was a bit noisy, as if they had just finished filming: "Shuang Ling? What's wrong? Did Hua Hua have fun on the show?"
"Chirp chirp chirp! Chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp—!!!"
(Lu Xiao! Help! This bird is going to die! The master isn't just having fun! She's about to send the kitchen and the cameraman to their deaths!)
Shuangling spoke into the jade talisman in a low voice (though it still sounded like chirping), frantically channeling her divine sense, her tone filled with grief and indignation, "You have no idea! That pot lid! It flew half a zhang high just now! It almost blew the roof off! If it weren't for Master using divine power... uh, to swat it back with a spatula, tomorrow's headlines would be 'Shocking! Kitchen explodes on the set of a slow-paced variety show, actress's girlfriend is suspected of possessing unparalleled martial arts skills'!"
There was a two-second silence on the other end of the jade talisman before Lu Xiao's voice came through, clearly failing to suppress his laughter: "Pfft...cough, so...exciting?"
"Wonderful?!" Shuangling exploded. "You know the pot's smoking green smoke?! Green smoke! That poor East Star Grouper was buried alive in lard by its owner! Steamed! The vegetables are blacker than my feathers! And that cameraman almost got disfigured by the hot oil! The worst part is that the owner seriously asked why mortal fire has a temper! She's cooking with an alchemy mindset! Lu Xiao! Lu the Movie Emperor! If this keeps up, tomorrow it won't just be a headline, it'll be the whole production crew and audience getting food poisoning and ending up in the ICU! I don't care! I want seafood! I want roast goose! I want lychees! Fresh ones! Right now! Immediately! Otherwise, I'll run away from home and sue you for abusing a divine beast!"
Shuangling's chirping was fast and urgent, full of accusation and despair.
As Lu Xiao listened on the other end, he could almost picture his girlfriend with an innocent yet aloof face turning the kitchen into a battlefield.
He rubbed his temples, a low chuckle escaping his throat, filled with endless doting and understanding: "Alright, alright, little darling, stop howling. I know. Send me the address, and I guarantee the relief supplies will arrive on time, shutting up this gluttonous bird of yours."
"Chirp!" (That's more like it!) Shuangling hummed contentedly, and her little paws quickly sent the program team's specific location through the jade talisman.
Having done all this, it breathed a long sigh of relief, feeling that its life had been given hope again. It put away the jade talisman, carefully slipped back into the house, and continued to disguise itself as a harmless plush toy, except that its beady green eyes gleamed with the cunning light of "the takeout is about to arrive."
After washing up, Zhuohua changed into a clean light blue linen dress, her wet hair casually draped over her shoulders, and she regained her ethereal and aloof demeanor.
But when she stepped into the kitchen again and looked at the quiet pot (but still emitting suspicious blue smoke), and the plate of black, charred, and unidentified "steamed grouper" and another plate of equally black "garlic (?) bok choy" on the stove, a faint trace of helplessness still flashed in her eyes.
Silently, she moved a small stool, sat down at the kitchen doorway, faced the main camera set up in the yard, rested her chin on her hand, and gazed at the last rays of sunset on the horizon, completely giving up the struggle. Her figure was slender and quiet, carrying a desolate air of "I have done my best, but fate has not allowed it."
The viewers in the live stream were laughing hysterically.
【Burning Kitchen Killer, Giving Up on Treatment, Hua!】
[A beautiful woman resting her chin on her hand.jpg, the artistic conception is perfect, if you ignore the smoking pot in the background...]
[Sister, don't cook! Your face is the best dish to eat with rice! A feast for the eyes!]
[Calling out to Lu Xiao, your wife is starving! @LuXiao]
Am I the only one wondering where that bird plush toy went? It seemed to have slipped out earlier.
As dusk settled, the sea breeze brought a salty chill. A dim light shone in the courtyard, while the aroma of food and laughter wafted from the other two groups of guests, making Zhuohua's situation all the more desolate and forlorn.
Just as Zhuohua was contemplating whether she should fast for a night, a deliveryman's loud voice rang out from outside the courtyard gate: "Hello! Ms. Zhuohua's package! Same-city fresh food express delivery!"
Zhuohua's eyes lit up slightly.
Shuangling was so excited that she trembled on her suitcase and almost cried out.
Amidst the curious gazes of the production team and other guests, Zhuohua got up to sign for the package. It was an enormous insulated box bearing the logo of a well-known local seafood restaurant.
Upon opening the box, an enticing aroma instantly filled the air, dispelling the lingering burnt smell in the kitchen. Inside was a dazzling array of items: golden and crispy roasted pigeons, glistening and tempting roasted goose from Shenjing, blanched and sweet prawns, steamed plump and succulent crabs, and a large box of peeled, translucent lychee flesh! On top of all, there was an elegant card.
Zhuohua picked up the card, on which Lu Xiao's handwriting was bold and vigorous: "Madam has been wronged. You need to eat well to have the energy to 'tear down' the kitchen. P.S.: Please give the frightened VJ a chicken leg for me. —Xiao"
Zhuohua looked at the card, her cool and aloof expression softening like a melting ice lake in early spring, a gentle smile spreading across her face, as if even the afterglow of the sunset was reflected in her eyes. She picked up a chilled, plump lychee, put it in her mouth, and the sweet juice melted on her tongue.
Carrying the huge insulated box, she walked briskly back to the center of the courtyard and stood in front of the main camera.
The evening breeze ruffled her long hair and skirt, the dishevelment of tomato juice stains long gone. Now, she was radiant and stunningly beautiful. Facing the camera, she held up a glistening lychee, a mischievous yet sweet smile curving her lips, her clear eyes seemingly filled with twinkling starlight.
“Look,” her voice carried a hint of languid sweetness, “want some?”
His tone was three parts boastful and seven parts matter-of-fact, as if he were stating a universal truth.
"Chirp!" (The roast goose is mine!) Shuangling squinted her eyes happily in her hand.
The live stream audience was completely speechless after witnessing this display of affection.
[Ahhhhh! Actor Lu! You're my god!]
This is amazing! A top-quality seafood feast delivered within the same city! And with a message!
['My wife has been wronged!' 'You need to be well-fed to have the energy to dismantle the kitchen!' Lu, how well do you know your girlfriend?! This is hilarious!]
[Zhuohua's smile! That smug little expression! It's too sweet! Where's the Civil Affairs Bureau?! Bring them over here!]
[That bird! Did it just move? Was it nodding?!]
[A divine love story! My favorite couple is the sweetest in the world!]
Zhuo Hua happily enjoyed the loving meal her husband had airdropped, and carried out the task of "giving the VJ a chicken leg" mentioned on Lu Xiao's card quite well—she directly gave a huge, shiny roast goose leg to the cameraman who still had burn ointment on his hand and was still shaken.
The eldest brother looked at the roast goose leg handed to him, exuding a deadly and tempting aroma, then at Zhuohua's face, which was flawlessly beautiful under the light but now carried a slightly "flattering" smile, and then at the pot in the kitchen behind her that was still quiet but seemed to be brewing the next storm... His expression was as complicated as if a palette had been overturned.
In the end, his appetite overcame his psychological trauma. With trembling hands, he took the goose leg and took a big bite, a gesture that carried a touch of tragic heroism.
Actress Chen Yue brought over her carefully prepared seafood stir-fry to ease the atmosphere, but when she saw the lavish, inappropriately large restaurant meal in front of Zhuo Hua, and then looked at the small plate in her hand, her smile became a little stiff.
She was about to say something when her gaze was suddenly drawn to the scene in the kitchen behind Zhuohua, and her pupils contracted sharply!
"Zhuo...Zhuohua! It's your fault!" Chen Yue's voice changed, filled with terror.
Everyone turned around abruptly, following her gaze.
Suddenly, wisps of pale green smoke began to rise from the gaps around the lid of the large iron pot that had been lying dormant in the kitchen!
The smoke looked particularly eerie under the dim light, rising in wisps and carrying an indescribable, strange smell that was a mixture of burnt, fishy, and some kind of peculiar spice (perhaps some "seasoning" that Zhuohua had casually tossed in?).
The courtyard was so quiet you could hear the coconut palm leaves rustling in the evening breeze. Everyone stared intently at the kitchen doorway—from the gap in the lid of the large, dark iron pot, pale green smoke continuously and eerily rose, wisps of smoke that, under the dim yellow light, exuded an inexplicable and sinister aura.
"Sizzle... sizzle..." The faint sound of corrosion in the pot was like the whisper of a demon.
Under the horrified gazes of everyone, Zhuohua slowly swallowed the last bite of sweet crab meat, then dabbed non-existent oil stains from the corners of her mouth with a napkin.
She even picked up a glass of chilled, freshly squeezed coconut juice, took a leisurely sip, and her clear gaze swept over the eerie wisp of green smoke, her tone as calm as if she were commenting on the smoke from her neighbor's chimney:
"Oh, it's nothing. Perhaps the 'Jade Fish Belly' dish was slightly overcooked, and the aftertaste lingered."
She paused, and amidst the pounding hearts of everyone, she added lightly, "Don't panic. If all else fails, I'll just go and catch some fresh ones from the sea for the next episode." As she spoke, her slender, white index finger gently pinched the frost feather that was being used as a doll.
Shuangling choked abruptly, her beady eyes widening, her little beak forgetting to close: "...Chirp?" (Freshly caught?! Master, are you serious?!)
"Thump!"
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